Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 197

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 197
Publication Date: February 2009

In the past, I've noted Ian Flynn's strength for pacing out the big event storylines. The “Eggman Empire,” “Order from Chaos,” and “Enerjak: Reborn” stories were all followed up with slower paced issues. After finally putting Scourge away for a while, you'd think the author would do something similar. Issue 197 is a stopgap issue between the end of “Hedgehog Havoc” and the plot turns Flynn has planned for issue 200. But it's not a character based one.

Our cover story, “Consequences,” is essentially split in two. The first half is set on the Cosmic Interstate between zones. Sonic is escorting Scourge to the No Zone, the intermediate world policed by Zonic and the other Zone Cops. Naturally, Scourge escapes along the way. Upon arriving in the No Zone, Sonic is shocked to see it under fire by outside forces. Meanwhile, in Mobotropolis, Sally is on trial before the Council of Acorn. By allowing Sonic to drive Scourge back to Moebius, she broke a direct order from the Council, putting them at risk for treason.

In the No Zone sequences, Ian Flynn is essentially doing away with the Zone War concept Dan Slott introduced years ago. Sonic outright asks why Zonic never arrived to capture Scourge, considering both hedgehogs were leaping through zones all willy-nilly. Sonic also asks why Scourge has never tried to capture Eggman, since he's technically an escapee from another zone as well. Zonic answers the latter by explaining that Robo-Robotnik is basically the same as the old Robotnik and the universal balance something-or-other dictates that Sonic must fight a version of Robotnik. As for the first question, Zonic explains that the multiverse is under attack by some jack-ass named Dr. Nega, meaning the Zone Cops have been too busy to capture Scourge. These are technical plot holes I never even really thought about and I don't think Flynn really needed to waste page space addressing them.

You'd probably expect that business about Dr. Nega attacking the Zone Cops to be set-up for a future story line, right? Well, maybe Flynn planned it that way but Sega had other ideas. Dr. Nega is a more-evil alternate version of Robotnik, who first appeared in one of Sega's handheld Sonic games. For whatever reason, Sega's corporate stooges would forbade Flynn from using the character in the comic. In short, Dr. Nega is introduced in order to prevent Zonic and his Zone Cop friends from making future appearances in the book. It's an another attempt by Flynn to put a cap on a previous writer's overly ambitious plot lines. Considering I've also liked the multiverse idea, I'm a little annoyed that Flynn would throw this one in the trash can so wantonly.

The comic devoted half of 2008 to Sonic and Scourge beating each other up. You'd think that would be enough. Instead, “Consequences” sneaks in a little more hedgehog-on-hedgehog action. At the very least, Matt Herms and Tracy Yardley have some fun with this. The Cosmic Highway certainly makes a memorable background for a fight scene. Once in the No Zone, Sonic and Scourge are vertical due to the zones wacky gravity. The typical theatrics are provided as well. Your standard amount of kicking, dodging, and spin-dashing. The best part of this scene comes after Scourge is captured, when he continues to claim that he's Sonic at his full potential. Because some people never learn.

The political intrigue in Knothole is a little more interesting. If nothing else, I admire Ian for following through on Sonic and Sally going behind the Council's back. He could have just let that one past and I probably wouldn't have noticed. It's mostly a moment designed to show off Sally's strength once again. Only this time her argument is a little weak. It boils down to “Yeah, I broke the rules but I've spent my entire life saving everybody's ass, so trust my judgment.” Which probably wouldn't hold up in court.

When Ian brought most of Sally's Substitute Freedom Fighters back at Council members – except for Arlo who I guess fell down a fucking hole or something – I assumed it was mostly a callback to an obscure corner of the comic's lair. It might still be but Flynn at least maintains their original characterization. Hamlin the Pig is a still a prick for no reason. He's the guy on the Council interested in persecuting Sally. Sally asks the pig why he's such a prick, apparently having forgotten that he's always been this way. His response can be summed up as being bitter over being forgotten as a Freedom Fighter and wanting more influence in Knothole. You know, conflicts of interest like that usually got someone kicked out of politics once upon a time.

“Consequences” is a little too focused on narrative mechanics. However, Flynn does sneak in one or two of those little moments I like so much. Sometimes, it's all of a panel. Such as Sally looking hurt, hugging herself, as Hamlin walks away and Rotor touches her shoulder. After his adventure in the No Zone, Sonic returns home and bonds with his parents. This only occupies one page but it's a nice page. Bernie gives a big hug. Sonic reclines on the couch with both of them, admitting that he's still not used to coming home to a house with his mom and dad.

Speaking of emotional moments! Ian saves some space at the end of this story devoted to Snively's on-going e-romance with a mysterious character known as “Regina,” whose true identity would be revealed soon enough. In a nice touch, Herms/Yardley draws Snively bidding his girl adieu in a panel shaped like a heart. We get a few panels devoted to his interior monologue, bitching about how bad things are. Not only does this set up future storylines, including Robotnik's latest scheme, but it's just nice to see Snively in a better mood than usual. You know, the universe shits on the guy. Throw him a bone.

In the back pages, Flynn throws in another one of those contractually obligated Sega game adaptations. “Knight Time” adapts “Sonic and the Black Knight,” otherwise known as the “Sonic with a Sword” game. Some elf wizard or something summons Sonic out of the sky so he can fight some intimidating knight dude. When the villain wrecks Sonic's chili dog, he gets really annoyed. The bad guy then assembles a trio of warriors, which are obviously Knuckles, Shadow, and Blaze in some vaguely medieval looking armor. By that point, the story abruptly ends by informing the reader they should just buy the damn video game already.

By 2009, I wasn't following Sega's “Sonic” games very closely, having been burned too many times before. I was especially disinterested in the so-called “story book” series, which seemed to move the Sonic series even further away from the aspects that endeared it to me in the first place. So, no, I've never played “Sonic and the Black Knight.” This comic appears to be a fairly close adaptation of the game's inciting incident. Out of context, it comes off as incredibly bizarre. You have these random fantasy elements that are totally at odds with the Sonic universe we know. For some reason, Knuckles, Shadow, and Blaze are knights aligned with the bad guy. I suspect even Yardley was a bit baffled by this, as his artwork is slightly off-model. About the only thing that makes sense to me about “Knight Time” is Sonic's nonchalant response to getting summoned to some other world to help fight evil. He continues to munch on his chili dog and tells the wizard lady that this kind of shit happens to him all the time. That seems in character.

Flynn's scripts are still far from bad but the comic is still in a slight slump at the start of the new year. I seem to recall the next big event knocking the book back on its feet. Devoting an entire issue to wrapping up some plot holes and shifting the mythology around wasn't a terrible idea but it was not executed in the best manner. And just forget about that back-up story, which I can barely make heads or tails off. [6/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 150

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 150
Publication Date: June 2005

This is it, guys. The issue of Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” comic that nearly caused me to abandon the book, a series I had been reading regularly for over a decade at this point, that I consider an enormous cornerstone of my nerdiness. It’s not really the fault of issue 150, though it is a very flawed comic. Instead, I was simply fed up with the comic, coming off the super shitty “The Good, the Bad and the Unknown” arc and several years of disappointing stories. After reading this mediocre issue, I actually stopped reading for about two months before deciding life was too weird without Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog”  in my hand every month.

In Knothole, romance is in the air. Sort of. Sonic is hitting on Mina Mongoose, who is tempted but rejects him because of Ash being her boyfriend. He hits on Amy Rose, who is weirded out by his direct language. The hedgehog’s horny ways eventually hit pay dirt, when Tails walks in on Sonic and Bunnie making out. Moreover, Sonic is doing heroic deeds solely for rewards. There’s a reason for this: Sonic isn’t Sonic. Instead, Anti-Sonic has kidnapped the real deal and switched places with him.

I think “Hero to Zero in No Time at All” – another one of those elegant Ken Penders’ titles – reveals what an incompetent villain Anti-Sonic is. Somehow, it took the guy 139 issues to think of stealing Sonic’s identity, even though that’s the most obvious scheme an evil copy can enact. After slotting himself into the heroic hedgehog’s life, what evil act does he commit? Murder Sonic and his friends? Sabotage the Freedom Fighters? Sell Knothole out to Robotnik? Nope! Instead, he grabs free food and hits on chicks until he gets laid. (Sonic and Bunnie awake in the woods, in each other’s arms. There’s no way you can convince me they didn’t fuck.) What’s especially dumb about this is how nobody questions why Sonic is acting like a horny douchebag. Not Tails, not Sally, not any number of other people who have known him their entire lives.

This shows a serious lack of understanding of the characters. Considering Ken Penders has been the main writer on this book for a multitude of years, you’d think he would know better too. Then again, Penders seems to think that Sonic being a love-em/leave-em type is canon so I guess the others have no reason to notice how weird he’s acting. Writing like this is one of the reasons why detractors deride the comic as “furry soap opera melodrama bullshit.” Sonic, even a villainous copy of Sonic, trying to seduce nearly every woman in his life is a story that probably has no business being in this book. The hedgehog getting lucky with Bunnie of all people – who has never shown any romantic interest in him – shows a further misunderstanding of these characters Ken has lived with for a long ass time.

It’s almost as if Ken really wanted to write a story about Sonic screwing around on all the girls who like him and some that don’t. The Anti-Sonic angle is probably the laziest way to accomplish this story. By bringing up the Mirror Mobius, Ken also quickly tosses another recent plot point under the rug. You want to know why Antoine has been acting like a shit head for a while? Cause he’s also been replaced by his evil counterpart! Apparently Karl Bollers intended Antoine’s personality change to be good old fashion character development. This disagreement with Penders was one of many that would lead to Bollers’ upcoming exit from the book. To add further insult, this nugget about Antoine has no other effect on the plot.

I guess Ken figured romance should be in the air for some reason, as “Hero to Zero” features a subplot involving Rouge the Bat. Hoping to snipe Nack the Weasel’s attempt to steal Angel Island’s magical emerald, she heads for the Island. Rouge meets Locke and begins to seduce him. This plot goes nowhere, as Archimedes teleports Rouge away before the date goes too far. I have no idea where – if anywhere – this subplot is going. Christ, it’s almost as if Ken just wanted his self-insert Locke to get a hot girlfriend or something.

The back-up story concerns events of actual important. In the conclusion of “The Chosen One,” Mammoth Mogul is ready to destroy the Perpendicular Zone, wiping out the multi-verse and the ten thousand Tails contained within. The prime Tails bravely heads out to face the god-like villain. Mogul immediately attempts to de-atomize the fox. Sonic leaps in the way, taking the shot. This activates Tails’ Chosen One powers. He absorbs all of the other Tails, becoming a giant named Titan Tails. He quickly defeats Mogul, stripping him of all his powers. Using the last of his immense strength, Titan Tails restores the multi-verse.

Part two of “The Chosen One” is responsible for another notorious bit of Archie Sonic lore. I’m talking about, of course, Titan Tails. The character design is, indeed, quite unfortunate. Most of the super forms in the Sonic-verse are just like the regular characters but a different color or something. Titan Tails, meanwhile, is a giant and super-buff version of Tails. The contrast is somewhat disturbing. Seeing the normally boyish Tails have his features grafted onto “Pumping Iron” era Arnold Schwarznegger’s body is hugely off-putting.

Once you overlook the monstrosity that is Titan Tails, “The Chosen One: Part Two” is as about as satisfying as this story could be. Tails being motivated by Sonic’s pain add some minor emotion to the story. Tails’ powers, defeating a god-like Mogul in minutes and undoing all the damage he incurred, are pretty impressive. Tails giving away his powers willingly, in order to save millions of lives, is a nice touch. Pretty much no pay-off to the Chosen One arc could’ve been one-hundred percent satisfying, after so many years of build up. But Romy Chacon does alright.

Art Mawhinney draws the entire issues and, as always, it’s good work. I love how bizarre some of the alternate universe Tails are during “The Chosen One.” He does what he can with Titan Tails, a truly poor design. As for the cover story, his clean lines and expressive faces are a benefit. The flashbacks, detailing Anti-Sonic trading places with the real deal, bring some obvious humor to the proceedings. Though, I’ll admit, Art doesn’t quite have a grasp on Rouge’s design. (And considering the obvious amount of sex appeal in the story, Steven Butler probably would’ve been a better choice.)

As far as anniversary issues go, #150 is definitely underwhelming. The conclusion to the Chosen One plot point occurring in this issue was a good choice. But devoting the 150th cover story to Evil Sonic sexually manipulating some of the series’ female players? That was a weird-ass choice. I don’t even like Spaz’ cover much, which is about as generic as a “Sonic” cover can get. Still, it sucks less then “The Good, the Bad and the Unknown.” That was the metric to measure the book by in 2005. [5/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 149

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 149
Publication Date: May 2005

With issue 149, “The Good, the Bad, and the Unknown” finally concludes. When this story arc was originally published, to me, it felt like the plot went on for most of the year. In truth, it only lasted four months. However, this one was enough of a clunker – combined with a general decline in quality in the series – that I nearly quit reading the book over it. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Let's get this over with.

Deep in the mysterious Kintobor's underground complex, Sonic, Shadow, and Metal Sonic continue their hyper-macho throw down/pissing contest. Their fight has unearthed a giant nuclear missile, which is about to go off. Rotor and the others continue to mill around the upper levels, looking for help. Somehow – I can't remember specifics – Uncle Chuck and Jules become aware of this strife, piloting a plane to rescue everyone. Will they make it in time? Take a guess.

The Sonic/Shadow/Metal Sonic three-way showdown – the main reason, I suspect, this entire story arc was written – concludes here. And in the most underwhelming fashion possible. Sonic defeats Metal by bopping him on the head, Bunny Foo-Foo style, and embedding him in the ground. This happens within the first few pages, ending that story line prematurely and awkwardly. Afterwards, Shadow outright admits that he doesn't know why he's fighting Sonic. In the tradition of so many comic book fights, the two immediately team up afterwards, realizing the nuclear missile about to go off threatens them both. That's the conclusion to this epic fight. What a let down.

One of many problems with this story arc has been the role the Freedom Fighters play. Tails, Rotor, Bunnie, Tommy, and Fiona have been milling about the underground facility. The whole time they haven't accomplished much, besides stumbling into a series of traps. Ken more-or-less admits how useless the gang has been because he has Chuck and Jules, out of nowhere, rescue them. About the only notable thing about their sequence is a moment when Fiona picks up a big ass gun, posing with it. Because Ken is always subtle with his commentary, Rotor immediately tells her to put it down because Mobians never use guns. Yet this single panel hints at the villainous personality Fiona would develop under Ian Flynn's pen.

Maybe the biggest sucking black hole in this story has been the character of Isaac. Ambiguously villainous but mostly just boring, he continues to croak up some of Penders' most banal dialogue ever. In the final pages of 149, Isaac reveals that the man who built him, this giant base, and the huge nuke inside is still alive. Yep, Kintobor – who brought the wrath of the Xorda down on Earth and is Robotnik's ancestor, in some way – sleeps in a stasis tube, awaiting reawakening. Of course, the subsequent writers didn't pick up on this thread. And who can blame them? Isaac and Kintobor are left buried underground after their own nuke goes off. That's where they fucking belong.

As promised last month, the back-up story finally steers the plot point of Tails being “The Chosen One” towards its conclusion. A casual game of Hide and Seek between Sonic and Tails is interrupted when Zonic the Zone-Cop pokes his head in. Sonic assumes he's the one being summoned. Instead, Zonic is after Tails. Mammoth Mogul is up to his old tricks again and everyone is hoping Tails can stop him.

Are you curious how long Archie screwed around with this “Tails is the Chosen One” bullshit? Since the first issue of “Tails” mini-series. Which was in 1995. Ten years before this issue. One of the reason I suspect this plot point sat on the shelf for so long was general disinterest. It's not like this series had a shortage of prophecies and contrived mythology. But after so many false starts and hints, it is satisfying for the comic to promise a quick conclusion to that particular prophecy.

There are one or two clever elements in the first part of “The Chosen One.” Mammoth Mogul, never as impressive he boasted about, finally becomes a credible bad guy. In this story, he graduates to a cosmic level threat. After getting a super dose of Knuckles' Chaos Power, the immortal has been going around the multi-verse, destroying alternate realities. He's powerful enough to swat a whole legion of Zone Cops away, which is mildly impressive. Zonic's solution to this problem is mildly clever as well. He knows Mogul fears Tails. So he stacks the deck, by recruiting hundreds of Tails from across the multi-verse. (Including such delightful variations as Darth Maul Tails, Benjamin Franklin Tails, Clown Tails, Buff Tails, Pregnant Tails, Care Bear Tails, and Metrosexual Tails.) It's not a bad story, even if it still spends two pages recounting prior events.

Two of Archie's most reliable artists draw both of these stories. Steven Butler drew all of “The Good, the Bad, and the Unknown” and his artwork was usually the story's sole positive attribute. But he appears to be having a slightly off-day in 149. A couple of times, Sonic, Shadow, and Metal seem to be a little flat. The action doesn't pop like it usually does. Though it's still a decent looking story. Art Mawhinney draws “The Chosen One.” Mawhinney's doubles down on the cuteness, which works with fine with the room full of Tails or the opening scene, which details a “Spider-Man” themed Sonic reality. When showing Mogul destroying whole worlds, it's less suitable. But Mawhinney always does good work so I can't complain.

The back-up story isn't bad. It manages to push the whole issue's rating up one. Not that it would've taken a lot to improve over the cover story. What should've been a one issue showdown between the hedgehogs and a hedgehog-like robot was stretched out for four tedious issues. Along the way, Penders set up some bullshit that was never going to pay off, probably even if he hadn't left the book. Another upside to this finally ending: I'm really looking forward to not having to write out “The Good, the Bad and the Unknown” again. [5/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 112

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 112
Publication Date: July 2002

Here’s something unexpected: An entire issue of Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” devoted solely to character development. And it’s not even Sonic, Tails, or Knuckles getting the development! Instead, the writers turn their eyes on Antoine and Uncle Chuck.

In Benny Lee’s “Mistaken Identity Crisis,” Antoine is feeling a little self-conscious. His newly reintroduced dad is very impressed with Sonic’s courage and heroism. Antoine, probably due to his years of cowardice, feels a little underappreciated. So the coyote and the hedgehog devise a plan. Reality, which includes a guest appearance from Zonic the Zone Cop, has other plans.

Once again, I’ll point out that Benny Lee’s writing feels somewhat disconnected with the rest of the book. For example, he writes Antoine as something of a coward, even though he long ago outgrew that characterization. Yet Lee still ends up adding some depth to Antoine and his father, two frequently neglected characters. “Mistaken Identity Crisis” doesn’t focus on a big action set piece or plot mechanisms. Instead, it’s a simple story about Antoine trying to prove himself to his dad, to win the love of a father that’s been out of his life for the last ten years.

Anybody familiar with literary stereotypes can probably see where this is going. In the end, Antoine proves that he’s actually far stronger then he thought. That this strength was inside him the whole time. Naturally, he also learns that he didn’t have to prove anything to his father, that his dad loves him regardless. This emotional payoff is cheated a little by the short page count but Lee makes his point. Father and son are brought closer, a pay-off the book earns.

What makes this understanding possible is a rather goofy, comedic contrivance. Zonic the Zone-Cop literally drops out of the sky at the story’s beginning. When he regains consciousness, he tells Sonic that Anti-Sonic is loose in this zone. Naturally, Antoine encounters the evil Sonic, assumes him to be the real Sonic in disguise, and cold-cocks him with a single karate chop. Aside from totally nerfing Anti-Sonic – an already comedic villain that is so defanged by this point that a single blow can defeat him – it’s the kind of goofy writing you’d expect from a cheesy sitcom. Yet it lets Benny Lee to tell a pretty sweet story, so I’ll allow.

The second story, Karl Boller’s “Forgiven,” turns the focus towards Uncle Chuck. The Knothole Freedom Fighters gladly welcome back the robotocized Lupe and the Wolf Pack, as their free will was returned along with the other Robians. Uncle Chuck, however, declines the invitation to the party. Chuck is feeling guilty, as he was the one responsible for robotocizing Lupe and the others, while under Robotnik’s control. A heart-to-heart is necessary to work this out.

Lupe and the Wolfpack have been excluded from the book for nearly three years, following her previous appearance in Sonic Super Special #11. I don’t know why Ken Penders wrote her out, considering she was part of the original SatAM cast. Maybe he thought she just wasn’t popular or well rounded enough? Or maybe he just has a boner for killing off strong female characters? Either way, Lupe is back. She’s still a robot but at least she’s got her soul back. It’s a welcomed return, considering she’s always been a potentially great character that’s never gotten her due.

What makes “Forgiven” powerful is how it focuses on Chuck’s guilt. That’s something the book has never really explored, if robotocized Mobians can still feel and see the things their programming forces them to do. It turns out they feel everything... Which is a huge burden fro someone like Chuck. We’re also not used to seeing Uncle Chuck, usually a stable mentor, in a vulnerable state. He’s already feeling guilt for inventing the Robotocizer in the first place. Though it only occupies a few panels, the reader really feels Chuck’s pain. To see him accepted, and loved, by his friends and family at the end is genuinely touching. “Forgiven” is one of Karl’s most affecting and well orchestrated stories in quite some time.

A familiar name returns to illustrate both stories. Art Mawhinney defined the look of the book in its early years but hasn't drawn an issue in a while. There’s some growing pains here, as Sonic’s new anime-inspired look is an odd fit for Art’s more traditional style. Yet it’s still great to have the guy back. (I also missed Mawhinney’s habit of adding personality to the background characters, making Knothole seem like a more populated place.) His cartoon cuteness is well suited to the opening story, with its goofy humor. Meanwhile, his ability to convey feeling is well utilized in both stories. Even Lupe, as a robot, gains an extra level of expression. So Art hasn’t lost any of skills in the time since he last drew the book.

In order to pad the issue out to full length, Archie sticks some more of those Sega Data Files in the middle of the book. Even though Ken has been doing these for a while, he’s just now including biographies for Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails. (And Amy Rose too, who is still just a supporting player right now.) Penders being Penders, he also throws in a detail genealogy of the Brotherhood of Guardians. All this really does is draw attention to how similarly Ken draws his echidnas. It certainly doesn’t distract from issue 112’s overall quality, which is one of the best comics the series has seen in quite some time. [8/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 103

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 103
Publication Date: October 2001

Archie has done it before. Their “Sonic the Hedgehog” series was heavily serialized by this point. Occasionally, Archie would interrupt the on-going plot with some ridiculous story outside of continuity. Usually, these concepts were things that had clearly been sitting on a shelf for some time, put aside for when a deadline quickly needed filling. It’s quite apparent to me that such a situation led to the two-parter that filled issues 103 and 104. Both the cover story and back-up were created by Mike Gallagher, who hasn’t written for the book for a while. Both stories hearken back to the comic’s early days, when “Sonic” was filled with silly parodies, slapstick, and sight gags.

Issue 103’s cover story is, specifically, a parody of Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy. When people hear that name today, they think of lovable characters like Rocket Racoon, Groot, and Starlord. They think of the hugely successful film adaptations from James Gunn. Archie wasn’t paying homage to that version of the Guardians, which wouldn’t come into existence until years later. Instead, they were goofing on the version of the team that existed in the early nineties. This particular incarnation of the Guardians has a cult following but it still pretty obscure. Even huge nerds are unlikely to be familiar with characters like Nikki or Aleta Ogord.

Why would Archie build an entire two-parter around referencing such an overlooked group of characters? The “Sonic” editors were obviously friendly with Jim Valentino, since the artists previously worked on “Sonic Super Special” and “Knuckles the Echidna.” Valentino would come to fame for his 29 issue run as writer and artist on “Guardians of the Galaxy,” which was mildly popular. And who followed Valentino as the writer of that series? None other then Mike Gallagher, who not coincidentally wrote these two issues. In other words, this dumb story is basically an in-joke between friends, inflicted on Sega’s blue hedgehog for some reason.

So, anyway, what the hell is this damn thing about? Zonic the Zone Cop presents the tale as taking place in an alternate zone. Sonic returns to Mobius, after spending a thousand years drifting in space. While he was up there, oyster-headed aliens built him a super suit that transferred his super speed into psychic, kinetic energy. Upon touching down, he sees that the planet has been transformed into a hellish wasteland. After fighting a series of robotic Knuckles, he meets a group of galactic superheroes, descendants of the Freedom Fighters he knew.

In order to find a parody amusing, one must be at least somewhat familiar with the source material being parodied. While it’s not necessary to enjoy them, “Young Frankenstein” and “Airplane!” are way funnier if you’ve seen a few Universal Frankenstein flicks or the “Airport” movies. Like the majority of people, I’ve never read Valentino’s run on “Guardians of the Galaxy.” So I don’t really get the gag. Even if I did, I suspect “Freedom Fighters of the Galaxy” isn’t the best parody. The jokes mostly extend to creating mash-ups between the Marvel and Sonic characters, with punny names like Tailon or Twan-Du.

In truth, quite a bit of the comic is devoted to painful exposition. Zonic talks about this zone. Sonic explains how he got tossed in space, how he got his new powers. Tailon explains how Robotnik destroyed Mobius during a War of the World. (Yes, they call it that.) The Freedom Fighters of the Galaxy explain their individual powers. After the fight is over, the members of the team provide their back stories, involving the Freedom Fighters traveling to other worlds and adapting to the new environments in different ways. Gallagher even indulges in some exposition of his own, by explaining that an evil race of aliens called the Sharks grew out of the Forty Fathom Freedom Fighters. (In another throwback to the book’s old days, Gallagher directly asks the reader if they want to see more of the Sharks. Considering this is their only appearance, the answer was presumably “no.”) If there are jokes here, they’re buried under the weight of countless info-dumps.

Presumably, Gallagher and Valentino’s work on the actual “Guardians of the Galaxy” was less strangled by explaining who the characters are. When not expounding on everyone’s personality, this issue features some mildly captivating action. Sonic and Tailon smash some Brass Knuckles. The Freedom Fighters of the Galaxy shoot laser beams, leap around, and display super strength. It would be more diverting if the characters didn’t have to stop and give us their life stories every other panel.

During his previous go-arounds at Archie’s various “Sonic” titles, Valentino’s artwork has been iffy. His illustrations for the Image crossover were incredibly flat. His “Knuckles” pencils were hideous. He does somewhat better here. The character designs are fairly unappealing, especially Hawkhawk, a new character that is a spoof of Starhawk. But nobody bends in horrifyingly ugly ways. Sally and Bunnie even look quite fetching, poured into their superhero suits. Valentino experiments with the page lay-out in mildly interesting ways. It’s not a great looking book but it doesn’t cause my eyes to melt out of my sockets.

Issue 103 is a Mike Gallagher two-fer. “Myth Taken Identity” revolves around Gallagher’s beloved Downunda Freedom Fighters. After Wombat Stu left the island to join King Acorn’s Secret Service, the team holds auditions for a new fifth member. The disappointing turn-out causes them to reminisce over how the team came together in the first place. Afterwards, one of the applicants is brutalized by the Bunyip, a fearsome creature from Australian mythology.

Much like the cover story, “Myth Taken Identity” is front-loaded with exposition. But at least, this time, it concerns characters we have some investment in. Most of the back story revolves around an origin story for the Downunda Freedom Fighters, something I might have wondered about in the past. It’s a bit underwhelming. Walt Wallaby literally stumbled into Guru Emu. In quick succession, the two met up with Duck Bill, Wombat Stu, and Barby Koala. Disgusted with Crocbot’s burgeoning take-over of the continent, they united to fight against him. I would’ve preferred the team coming together in a more natural way. But it is sort of neat to learn their origin.

It’s a shame that “Myth Taken Identity” is mostly devoted to goofy jokes. The first two pages focus on the applicants for the team, all of whom are goofy joke characters. Such as a kookaburra who sings badly, a mildly racist immigrant rabbit, and Ram Marino, a ram football player. Since one Marvel reference wasn’t enough for Gallagher, one of the applicants is Dare-Dingo, a dingo version of Daredevil. Befitting the jokey tone, Dave Manak draws the story. It’s clear Manak hasn’t drawn these characters in a while, as they are quite off-model.

Issue 103 isn’t very good but, you know, it doesn’t offend me. It’s a harmless joke, too dumb to be annoying. And it’s not as if the current storyline was super involving, so I don’t mind it being interrupted too much. The back-up is also very dumb but mildly interesting. Speaking of stupid in-jokes, come back next time not for the second part of this story but something entirely different instead! [5/10]

Sonic Super Special: Issue 14 - Sonic Stew

Sonic Super Special: Issue 14 - Sonic Stew
Publication Date: June 2000

When conceived, the Sonic Super Special quarterly was for stories too big, too important for the regular book. We’re talking the grand fight between the Freedom Fighters and the Chaotix, the first major story of the post-Robotnik era, a major battle with Ixis Naugus, the uncut version of Endgame, so on and so forth. However, the book quickly degraded towards another purpose: Stories that Archie felt like telling that don’t fit into the current plot arc. So scripts about Sally Moon, giant robots, and nonsensical crossovers got booted over to the side book. This practice reaches its nadir with issue 14, subtitled “Sonic Stew.” It’s basically Ken Penders’ next big Knuckles adventure and a totally disposable Sonic farce shoved into a book together, no theme or fiber connecting them.

Why do so many Archie issues begin with Sonic and Sally wandering through the woods? Is that where they go when they need some alone time? Anyway, one such walk is interrupted when a portal opens before the two lovebirds. A pair of uniformed echidnas emerge, whack Sally into unconsciousness, and then drag Sonic through the portal. He arrives in Litigopolis, a version of Mobotropolis ruled by a mad supercomputer insisting on super restrictive laws. The citizens live in fear of frivolous lawsuits. Sonic, teaming up with a lawyer version of Sally, discovers that Anti-Sonic framed him and has to clear his name and free the city.

“Law of the Land” is brought to us by Jim Spivey, a writer who did so little work on the book that he doesn’t even have a Mobius Encyclopaedia page. It’s a dire story. An alternate universe of Mobius built around lawyers is a fairly nonsensical idea, seemingly done to spring board off the then popularity of “Ally McBeal.” (I’d ask why Archie would spoof an adult-centric TV series in a kid’s book but they’ve done it before.) Spivey doesn’t present this world in a very interesting manner. Most of the backstory is dropped on us during a multi-page spread, Sally McAcorn – yes, they really call her that – explaining the history of the place.

There aren’t very many jokes. Spivey seems to think the mere idea of contrasting Sonic and lawyers is enough. This results in barely-there gags like Robotnik becoming a computer named J.U.D.G.E. and Knuckles becoming the leader of a fascist police force. The reveal that Anti-Sonic has framed the real deal is presented in a totally off-hand manner, barely influencing the overall plot.

However, there is one mildly funny gag in the book. After a more direct attempt to defeat J.U.D.G.E. goes wrong, Sonic thinks of a better idea. Using his super speed, he performs a series of minor crimes in a short span of time. Such as super-speed jaywalking and the repeated invasion of citizen’s personal space. The overload causes J.U.D.G.E. to explode. It’s not the idea that’s funny. Instead, the glee with which Sonic performs the petty infractions is what makes me laugh. There’s a pretty funny panel of Sonic making goofy faces at an incredulous rabbit, for one example.

Another factor holding “Law of the Land” back is its weak artwork. Suzanne Paddock – also her only Archie Sonic credit – draws this one. She adapts an exaggerated, pseudo-anime style that rarely works. Sonic and Sally have massive heads and needle thin limbs. Their proportions shift from page to page. One panel shows them with giant hands that could easily contain their spindly bodies. The characters’ faces often shifted in hideous, unpleasant ways. There’s seemingly no predetermined layout for everyone’s bodies, as Sonic repeatedly changes shape. Even during the era of Ron Lim, Archie knew not to invite Miss Paddock back.

The Sonic-centric cover story is a complete trifle, especially when compared to the Knuckles back story. We open in media ras, with Knuckles fleeing from a giant fireball consuming the Floating Island. As he lands in the ocean below, he reflects on the events that brought him here. After witnessing Lara-Li’s wedding to Wynmacher, Knuckles and the Chaotix decide to investigate the wrecked Dark Legion base. Inside, the Legion grabs Julie-Su and flies above the Island. The Brotherhood knows Dimitri is up to something and attempt to stop him. Meanwhile, Remington has to prevent another dingo protest from growing violent. All of these stories are interrupted when Dimitri and the Legion opens a massive portal that sucks the entire city into an alternate universe.

“Best of Times, Worst of Times” is the kind of story Ken frequently writes. It’s got a crap load of story lines, each one competing for page space. Not all of these plots, like Remington dealing with the dingos, seem especially pertinent at first. However, by ending the story on a huge cliffhanger, it also gives these other scenes more meaning. It’s just an ordinary day on the Floating Island before tragedy interrupts it. More then that, the writer also doesn’t doodle too long on any one set of characters, keeping the issue moving quickly.

Which isn’t to say there aren’t some disappointments. Seeing Knuckles and the gang banter, leap on those weird horse things, and ride across the Island is fun. Oddly, that moment segues into the heroes exploring the abandoned enemy base. After the dimensional portal starts to consume the island, the Chaotix disappear from the story, leaving Knuckles to save the day solo. Yet considering Penders’ bad habit of forgetting the Chaotix exist all together, it’s nice to see them included.

Disappointingly, Ken also benches Julie-Su in a very cheap manner. She’s immediately captured by the Legion, barely fighting back at all. They take her aboard their Romulan Warbird, Julie-Su just allowing it to happen. Really? My Julie-Su, the same girl who swung into a crime lord’s base and started kicking ass? Seems unlikely. Even then, the panels devoted to Julie-Su and Lien-Da trading bitchy barbs is funny. (Moritori Rex is also in this story, aboard the ship with Dimitri. I had completely forgot this guy was still floating around.)

As always, the Brotherhood’s segments are the least compelling. Mathias, another one of Knuckles’ ancient ancestors, floats in and informs the other Guardians that Dimitri is up to some bad shit. How does he know this? He foresaw it in a vision. Man, as if this book didn’t have enough wise, old mystic characters already. Despite the Brotherhood teleporting in and using their psychic powers to toss some Legionnaires around, they can’t stop Dimitri’s plan.

Stuck in the middle of this, Ken finally reveals the fate of Grandpa Hawking. You know, that old guy that fell into a coma when Knuckles’ book was just beginning? He’s dead now. Please tell me this event actually has some effect on the story. Please tell me Ken just didn't forgot about this plot point and randomly decided to resolve it here. But who am I kidding?

The subplot about Remington trying to quell more dingo unrest probably should be tedious. Weirdly, it proves surprisingly compelling. Once again, Ken unintentionally points out how unfair echidna society treats the dingoes. They still haven’t been set up in the temporary housing the government promised them 73 issues ago! I don’t know how that breaks down in comic book time but it suggests some major mishandling on the Echidnan government’s behalf. Yes, the protestors have their Power Gloves and guns out, threatening violence, but they have good reason to be displeased. Remington, notably, doesn’t immediately start busting heads either, willing to give Stryker and his men a chance to speak their minds. 

Yeah, it’s a lot to juggle and not all of it works. However, I suspect the reason “Best of Times, Worst of Times” works for me is because of the small personal moments Ken sneaks in. Lara-Le and Wynmacher’s wedding is sweet, especially the way Knuckles wishes the couple well, despite his ambivalence towards the union. Knuckles and Julie-Su get some cute moments of their own, holding hands and making googly eyes at each other. Even Remington gets a girlfriend. True, the goofily named Komi-Ko isn’t much of a character. Yet seeing the officer outside of a professional context is a nice change of pace. Once again, small character moments like this give the mayhem that comes later greater impact.

So “Sonic Stew” is not an especially tasty stew, few of the ingredients blending in a pleasing manner. That first course definitely leaves a bad taste in your mouth. The second course could have a more even flavor pallet, certain ingredients begging to be more evenly seasoned or more thoroughly cooked. Compared to the first bowl of stew, it’s still a big improvement but the diner is left wanting more. I think I’ve exhausted all my soup puns. Let’s give this a [5/10] and head home.

Sonic Super Special: Issue 12 – Turnabout Heroes

Sonic Super Special: Issue 12 – Turnabout Heroes
Publication Date: Janaury 2000

We interrupt you’re regularly scheduled Sega Dreamcast adaptation for something completely different! While Archie’s main “Sonic the Hedgehog” comic was knee-deep in the “Sonic Adventure” adaptation, a new Sonic Super Special quarterly dropped with no connection to anything happening in the main book. This suggests one of two things. Either Archie’s interior scheduling is horribly haphazard or Sega demanded the “Adventure” adaptation to roll out at a certain date. Probably both, if we’re being honest. So let’s just forget about Station Square and Chaos for a little while and focus on something else entirely.

The majority of the Sonic Super Specials had some sort of gimmick that separated them from the standard book. Such as the all female led stories in issue 11 or the ill-fated crossovers in issue 10 and 7. What number twelve offers us is a cover story that turns the page sideways, the panels being read from the bottom to the top. “Turnabout Heroes” matches this visual gimmick by turning its heroes around too. Dimitri has seemingly teamed up with Dr. Robotnik, despite the former character being dead. Their fiendish plot involves swiping Sonic and Knuckles’ minds and bodies, leaving the hedgehog in the echidna’s body and vice versa. They attempt to blackmail the heroes into stealing the Master Emerald, in order to power a new super weapon. It doesn’t work.

“Turnabout Heroes” is said to take place between issues 71 and 72 of “Sonic” and issues 28 and 29 of “Knuckles.” However, as the Mobius Enclopedia is all too eager to point out, this doesn’t make a lot of sense. There’s a reason for “Turnabout Heroes” seemingly existing outside canon. The story line was originally published as a reoccurring comic stripe in Comic Shop News, a multi-page newsletter and sales flyer sent out to comic shops. This is also the reason for the vertical page construction. The change of format also explains some other things about the story. “Turnabout Heroes” opens with Sonic and Knuckles flatly discussing their recent history. Each of the characters are simplified and there are few references to either Sonic or Knuckles’ convoluted series. Presumably, this was done so as not to loose new and inexperienced readers.

On top of these issues, “Turnabout Heroes” is also Ken Penders’ take on the well worn body swap story line. Sonic and Knuckles do not reach a “Freaky Friday”-esque new appreciation for each other after their experience. Instead, “Turnabout Heroes” mostly plays the body switch up for humor. Knuckles, in Sonic’s body, does a belly flop while attempting to glide. Both the hedgehog and the guardian’s supporting cast seem very confused by the switch-a-roo. More definitely could’ve been done with the premise. Because this is a Penders, the story also a hell of a cheat for an ending. After touching the Master Emerald, Sonic and Knuckles’ minds are restored. The con they pull on the villains at the end is also barely coherent.

Despite these many setbacks, “Turnabout Heroes” works okay as an action story. Both Dimitri and Robotnik are on the offensive, sending heavy SWATBot and Dark Legion forces after the heroes. The Freedom Fighter Special crashes on the Floating Island, a decent action beat. The high-light of the story is the Freedom Fighters teaming up with Knuckles and Julie-Su to wreck the shit of their mutual villains. (The Chaotix, presumably, were on vacation during all this. Or Ken just forgot about them.) Amusingly, Nate Morgan is seemingly involved in the combat, which is likely a result of Penders not caring what Bollers was up to at the time.

Simplifying the personalities of the cast for an audience outside the usual book doesn’t mess with things too much. Sonic and Knuckles pepper their speech with more catch phrases then usual but everyone is more-or-less in character. Except for the villains. In the story, Dimitri threatens to use a Master Emerald-powered cannon to robotocize the Great Forest. This is unusual for a villain who has mostly been concerned with conquering the Floating Island and inflicting revenge on his enemies. And what is the original Robotnik doing in this story, considering he died in issue 50? Turns out this Dr. Robotnik is a robotic double. Where did it come from? You probably already guessed that no answer is provided, either in these pages or outside the comic.

Sonic Super Special #12 has two stories, both loosely linked by the concept of different personalities inhabiting our established cast. In “Zone Wars: Giant Robotno,” Sonic gets another visit from Zonic the Zone-Cop. Initially apathetic, the Zone Cop talks the hedgehog into tagging along on another adventure. He’s taken to an alternate Mobius were giant, monstrous versions of the Freedom Fighters attack a peaceful Overlander city. Sonic leaps into a giant robot designed by a benevolent version of Robotnik, searching for a fuel source for Kintobor’s robotic protectors. This puts Sonic in the path of grotesque versions of his friends, forcing him to fight.

If you hadn’t guessed already, “Giant Robotno” is another Dan Slott joint, the sometimes writer returning to his beloved “Zone Wars” concept. (Slott plotted out the story with Karl Bollers doing the actual writing.) Like Slott’s previous stories, this one is full of weeaboo pop culture references. The story begins with Sonic encountering versions of Sally and his friends from a universe patterned after anime series “Gatchaman.” Amusingly, Sonic is totally disinterested in this event, the action playing out in the background while he talks with Zonic in the foreground.

Once Sonic is guilted into leaping dimensions, “Giant Robotno” reveals itself as a pastiche of kaiju movies and giant robot animes. We get to see a mash-up of Bunnie and Godzilla. The Tails kaiju, meanwhile, features Devilman’s bat-wing ears. The plot also resembles (and obviously predates) “Pacific Rim” and any number of Japanese shows about giant robots fighting giant monsters.

A combination of Sonic and a kaiju movie probably sounds like a terrible idea but “Giant Robotno” is surprisingly willing to play the premise for horror. The giant, mutated versions of the Mobians are visually unnerving. The Bunnie/Godzilla combo has a disturbingly scaly tail and scutes growing from her back. A giant monster version of Uncle Chuck, frozen in place, looms over the city, his face locked in a scream. We see, in flashback, versions of the Chaotix mutated into deformed monstrosity by Chaos Emerald radiation, their bodies twisting against their wills. Seeing our beloved Freedom Fighters transformed into ugly giants is an unexpected sight, at the very least. Knuckles’ dreadlocks have become tentacles. Amy gets hideous vampire fangs. Rotor and Sally are freakishly buff. It’s not exactly Junji Ito but is still surprisingly twisted stuff for a “Sonic” comic book.

The anime references and zone hopping are obviously the work of Slott. However, “Giant Robotno” also has an interesting emotional component, which I’m willing to credit Bollers for. While piloting the Eggman resembling machine, Sonic lands down on the island populated by the kaijuized Freedom Fighters. Sonic finds the sight of his friends, mutated not-quite-beyond recognition, very disturbing. Moreover, he’s forced to beat them into submission, which also upsets him. The emotional turmoil reaches its peak when Sonic is forced to fight a giant, monstrous version of his father, a Chaos Emerald embedded in its chest. During the fight, he accidentally yanks the emerald from Monster Jules’ chest, killing him. This, understandably, upsets the hedgehog. He exits the alternate dimensions not feeling like a hero but greatly unnerved by the experience. Bollers stays on just the right side of emotionally overwrought, managing to find some actual heart in an outwardly ridiculous story.

James Fry provides the pencils for “Turnabout Heroes.” Fry’s work is solid, with Sonic and friends looking on-model, bright and colorful. Robotnik and Dimitri, meanwhile, look slightly off. Nelson Ribeiro does the artwork for “Giant Robotno.” It takes some time to adapt to Ribeiro’s work, which is a little more exaggerated then regular Archie artwork. However, once it wins you over, Ribeiro’s pencils prove effective for this story.

Sonic Super Special issue 12 is an odd collection of stories. “Turnabout Hereos” is a decently entertaining if unremarkable tale. “Giant Robotno” is a very odd scenario but the creative crew manages to make it work, somehow. I’d like to say that the two stories combine to make this one of the weirdest Sonic books but this comic got fucking weird at times, so who knows. We now return to your corporate mandated video game adaptation, already in progress…[7/10]

Sonic Super Special: Issue 10 – Crossover Chaos

Sonic Super Special: Issue 10 – Crossover Chaos
Publication Date: July 1999

Archie’s ill-fated attempt to drive “Sonic” readers to their faltering “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” comic continued in issue 10 of the Sonic Super Special quarterly series. I’ve mentioned before how, as a kid, I was susceptible to Archie’s hype. I mean, shit, they even managed to get my pumped for the Image crossover. Yet, even back then, I thought Sonic and Sabrina meeting one another was odd. At the time, I considered the cross-over a nothing story, totally disposable. The cross-over theme of SSS #10 continues in other ways, as the story also features the Archie Sonic meeting up with the “Sonic Underground” universe, a then new series.

“Some Enchantra Evening: Chapter Two” picks up where “Sabrina the Teenage Witch Issue 28” left off. The bewitched Sonic is about to wreck Sabrina’s shit when she teleports the hedgehog to the top of Mount Everest. Before Sabrina and Sally can parse what’s truly going on, Sonic returns. This time, he sets the sights on Sabrina’s high school. The teenage witch zaps herself to that location and just barely defeats the mind-controlled hero. Unconsciousness resumes Sonic’s control over his own mind. Sally locates Enchantra, talks her into leaving Mobius alone, and Sabrina and the super-powered bitch settle their differences.

The second part of “Some Enchantra Evening” is marginally better then the first only because it slows way the fuck down on the lame humor. There’s one or two of Mike Gallagher’s puns. (One of which “I 8 when that happens!,” said while Sonic performs a figure 8, is practically identical to a joke Gallagher used all the way back in “Super Sonic vs. Hyper Knuckles.”) Instead, the focus is more on Sabrina stopping Sonic’s rampage and Sally outsmarting Enchantra. But don’t mistake this for a compliment, as the story is still incredibly lame.

For example, the fight between Sabrina and Sonic, which I guess is the main attraction, is highly anticlimactic. Sabrina literally trips Sonic as he’s running. He twirls her around with the aforementioned figure eight maneuver. Sonic then spins around the witch in a cyclone, sucking away her air. Before passing out, Sabrina magically moves a tree into Sonic’s path. That’s it. The fight last all of two pages. It’s lame.

The resolution of the story isn’t much better. In the last act, Sally finally explains how the hell she got to Sabrina’s world. Enchantra left the portal between worlds open, presumably because she’s an idiot. Sally then yells at Enchantra about all the bad-ass villains that exist on Mobius and how they would totally wreck her shit if allowed. Even though the witch has the ability to open and close the portal at any time, this talk convinces her to cut it out. Sabrina and Enchantra then resolve their incredibly stupid conflict which, if you don’t remember, began over a school history report. “Some Enchantra Evening” is one of those stories that are so bad, they retcon themselves out of existence. At the end, Enchantra zaps Sonic and Sally back to Mobius a second after being taken, removing their memories of these events. I recommend the reader does the same.

Once again, the story continues with the agreement of Dan DeCarlo drawing the Sabrina characters and Dave Manak drawing the Sonic characters. DeCarlo is apparently respected in some circles so I assume his artwork is usually better then the flat, detail lacking work here. As for Manak, it’s very apparent that he’s forgotten how to draw Sonic and friends. Sonic has a giant, bulbous head, his proportions never looking right. Sally’s vest, meanwhile, has fused into a weird low-cut top. As I mentioned last time, DeCarlo and Manak’s work is so similar that I don’t know why one of them didn’t just draw the whole story.

The second story continues the Zone War that began back in Sonic Super Special Issue 8. Zonic the Zone-Cop interrupts a pleasant picnic the Freedom Fighters are having. He’s got another mission for Sonic Prime. After an uprising on the Anti-Mobius, Anti-Sonic has been recruited by an alternate universe of Robotnik to collect the pieces of the Giant Borg. That is, the big ass robot Sonic and his many doppelgangers smashed back in issue 19. Sonic and Zonic team up with the only version of Sonic that hasn’t been convinced to hand over his piece. That version of Sonic is in a rock band with his brother and sister, fighting a war against another version of Robontik. This Robotnik has already reassembled the Giant Borg but, luckily, it only takes two Sonics to defeat it this time.

Ah yes, “Sonic Underground,” the cartoon show that managed to disappointed me even when I was ten years old. The series was similar to “SatAM” on a surface level but lacked the heart and balance of stakes that made that show great. In place of that, it had identical siblings for Sonic, obnoxious comic relief villains, and a fucking terrible musical number each episode. (About the only thing the cartoon had going for it was the first American animated appearance of Knuckles. And, no, he’s not in this story.) There was no reason for Archie to acknowledge “Sonic Underground” existed but, I’m guessing, somebody up the corporate ladder figured the comic should help promote the new cartoon. After all, both the comic and animated series existed, in a round about way, to bring attention to the new system and game created by the SEGA Overlords.

As for “A Tale of Two Hedgehogs,” it’s pretty shitty. The strife among the Anti-Freedom Fighters is mildly diverting. Watching alternate universe versions of Sonic, Antoine, and Sally bitch at each other almost reaches the level of trashy fun. It’s all a bit of a misdirect, as Anti-Sonic’s role in the story is fairly unimportant.

Once the story proper gets moving, the plot falls into lameness very quickly. The Giant-Borg is nothing but a plot device, the pieces being reassembled off-screen. The giant robot rampages through a city for all of one page, barely enough time to establish it as a threat. It takes only a little bit longer for the two Sonics to destroy it. Sonic-Prime distracts Robotnik while Sonic-Underground leads a homing missile back to the robot’s cockpit. There’s an utterly incoherent bit in the middle, where it’s reveal that apparently the Robotnik that organizes this scheme isn’t the Underground version but rather the version that will soon reveal himself in the main comic. This is a confusing sideline and muddles the plot.

As a commercial for “Sonic Underground,” this doesn’t fare very well either. The entire premise of the new series is shoved into a two-page spread in the middle of the story. It accomplishes the same goal as the show’s expositionary theme song. The reader doesn’t get much of a bead on the new characters’ personality. What seals this story’s shitty status is the artwork. Jim Valentino was, for some reason I can’t fathom, invited back to draw Sonic. His artwork continues to be awful. The characters’ facial expressions range from grotesque to comical. Despite being so bad at drawing faces, Valentino often zooms in on them. It’s pretty clear Valentino doesn’t know how to draw the Sonic cast, as they frequently go off-model. The action is not clearly drawn while the backgrounds remain vague and empty.

It sucks. The whole book sucks. The Sonic Super Special series was often unnecessary and this issue is one of the most unnecessary. Which would you prefer? A painfully unfunny crossover with a series you almost definitely do not care about? Or a terribly drawn, weakly plotted crossover with everyone’s fifth favorite “Sonic” cartoon? Ah, I see, this is one of those “rancid milk/moldy bread” dilemmas. [The dreaded 3/10]