Chao Tales

Chao Tales

Original Release Date: April 3rd, 2025

I thought I was done talking about miscellaneous "Sonic the Hedgehog" animation but then Sega had to go and draw my attention to something I didn't know previously existed. Here in 2025, if the last few months of reviews haven't made it clear, "Sonic the Hedgehog" exists as much as a social media brand as a video game franchise. The games, the comics, the cartoons, the movies, the officially licensed SquishMellows and everything else is almost secondary to the actual goal of the series these days: To make sure people, young and old and younger and older yet, never forget about Sonic the Hedgehog. Every proponent of the blue hedgehog's existence now has no further goal than to propagate itself. Social media is where we all spend a large part of our lives now, the digital town square becoming just as real as the actual communities we live in. (Maybe more, in some cases.) This means "Sonic the Hedgehog," as a brand, must have a social media presence. I would say Sega's ability to infiltrate these spaces is the main reason the blue hedgehog stock has risen a lot in the last decade or so. It is not enough for Sonic to only be a new video game release once or twice a year. A monthly comic, a cartoon or TV show or movie every few years, will not suffice. To make sure somebody, somewhere, is always talking about Sonic the Hedgehog means new stuff arriving across multiple different platforms at a machine gun pace. 

This is my long-winded way of saying that uploading little animations and skits and updates to YouTube, Twitter, TikTok and whatever else is how this series stays alive in today's world. Almost everything I've discussed in this loosely linked retrospective of "Sonic" animation left-overs has been part of this new wave of brand awareness. Previously, I looked a little at Sega of Japan trying their hand at breaking into the micro-video format that is so popular online these days with "Sonic & Friends." More recently, the American branch has done something similar. Little one-minute long pieces of animation entitled "Chao Tales" started popping up on the official "Sonic" channels on any platform that supports short video contents. "Chao Tales" is the first piece of traditionally animated "Sonic" media produced exclusively for this format, evident by each episode originally being uploaded in the narrow aspect ratio common to such things. Yes, "Chao Tales" has the dubious distinction of being the first drawn "Sonic" thing designed to be viewed in Portrait Mode. What a time to be alive. Presumably for the benefit of old foggies like me, all eight episodes were recently uploaded to Youtube in glorious wide-screen, so I can trick myself into thinking I'm watching an actual TV show and not a fuckin' Instagram reel. 

Yes, once again, I am forced to talk about Chao, those little water drop shaped baby things that everybody but me loves. Every two episodes of "Chao Tales" is set in a different season, beginning in spring and ending in the winter. It depicts Sonic discovering and then visiting a peaceful Chao garden in the woods, whenever he feels like it, I guess. Among the residents is a Shadow Chao that the Sonic Wiki describes as "bossy," "a trickster," "greedy," prideful and prone to shenanigans. As Sonic chills with these squishy entities, playing music and sharing apples and bringing animal friends, he helps them do the thing their lives seemingly revolve around: The rearing of yet more Chao eggs. That dovetails nicely with, in the winter, Eggman choosing this patch of trees for deforestation, forcing Sonic to team up with the Chao and defend their home. 

Ya wanna know what the main question I had after watching all eight parts of "Chao Tales" was?: Why is the Shadow Chao such an asshole? In the first few bits of animation that make up this series, the Shadow Chao tries to break an unhatched egg, steals food from his fellow baby-ish brethren, hordes magical upgrades from the visiting animals, and attempts to disrupt their musical frolic. During a race and a training session, the Chao shows a need to prove himself better than the other critters. This causes me to ponder on the mental development of these weird little fluff creatures. When you see a little kid in a pre-school class or whatever acting this way – stealing, starting fights, being a general prick to the other children – the natural assumption is that there's trouble at home. His or her parents are abusive, neglectful, argumentative or overly indulging. Some kids are natural troublemakers, sure. Many of them have neurological patterns, that probably won't be diagnosed until later in life, that make them prone to impulsive or antisocial behavior. I fall squarely on the nurture side of this ages-long debate. In my experience, in my own life and when observing other people's kids, I believe most behavior is learned behavior. And kids, especially at that age, learn most everything they know from their parents. This is why my older half-sister told her kindergarten teacher, when everyone in class was prompted to share Mommy and Daddy's real names, that our mother's name was "Bitch." That's what her dad – not my dad, a different asshole – most frequently called our mom.

The point I'm making is: Most problem children don't act that way for no reason. To quote the slaves in Willy Wonka's factory: You know exactly who to blame, the mother and the faaaathheerrrrr. Which brings me to the obvious, confusing point: Chao don't have parents. Eggs appear asexually, seemingly through some kind of magical ritual. They do change and react to the people they interact with and how they are treated. The implication does seem to be that this is the first time Sonic has met these Chao, leading one to wonder if they've had any contact with outside life at all. My limited knowledge of Chao biology makes me believe that a Shadow Chao has to have some sort of contact with Shadow, inheriting aspects of his personality somehow. There have been multiple Shadow Chao across the "Sonic" franchise though. Are we to assume that Shadow has personally rubbed up against every Shadow Chao around? I guess being a mini-me of Shadow might explain why this little guy is such a jerk. However, I remain left with many questions about how any of this works, much less how these drippy Pokémon things cognitively develop. I also think they live forever but never age out of the toddler stage, so maybe they don't develop at all. Maybe it's a stupid video game cartoon and I shouldn't think this hard about it. 

Describing this badly behaved Chao as "a trickster" suggests he's some sort of Anansi figure. A confident con man who gets one over on people from time to time but is always humbled in the end. You really only see this in one of the episodes, the third installment where the Shadow Chao tries to absorb so many features and powers from the surrounding animals that he eventually collapses under the weight of all his new upgrades. Otherwise, the moral here is much more general. Sonic is teaching the kids to share, to play fair in contests, to stand up for themselves and rely on each other. By the end, the idea goes, we are supposed to like the little goth Chao and he'll no longer be an asshole but a valued member of his community. Because these cartoons are all a minute long, we never get much of a sense of character development. In fact, it feels like most of the personal growth happens off-screen, in between installments. The leap between this guy being a selfish, destructive little gremlin in the first episode and a brave little hero in the last feels unearned. 

Evan Stanley directed this entire series, following a definite trend in her association with the "Sonic" franchise of being fond of the tiny freak babies. Every "Sonic" fan writer/artist that has graduate to officially working on the series has left their own marks, giving you an idea of what their personal vision for the speedy hedgehog franchise is. Tyson Hesse's cartoons and comics represent his absurd sense of humor, a simpler and wackier understanding of the characters, and lots of frenetic action. Ian Flynn is obsessed with backstory and history, loving to dig up obscure tidbits he can stitch into more of a narrative whole. He fleshes out the world and tends to flesh out the characters too, probably being the best at actually giving these video game mascots depth. "Chao Tales" perhaps gives us the clearest idea of what Evan Stanley wants "Sonic" to be. For most of the eight episodes, this is an exceptionally laid back story. Sonic spends more time napping and chilling in a tree than he does fighting supervillains over the eight minutes or so. The conflict is the stuff of schoolyard playgrounds, of little kid-like figures having low stake interactions in which they ultimately learn a tidy lesson that can be applied to other situations in their lives. Sonic himself feels oddly static in "Chao Tales." He's treated like a mentor figure, idealized and far off, ultimately unknowable. Meanwhile, the Chao have their little misunderstandings and problems but they can all work out it. It reminds me of Surge venting her personal problems at Sonic in one IDW issue, while trying to kill him, only for the tenrec to accepted onto the team shortly afterwards. 

The impression I get is that Stanley is in-love with the aesthetics of "Sonic" as a franchise. Ultimately, she thinks of this hedgehog's world as an idealized one, with a status quo of Eden-esque tranquility. Except, obviously, this is also an action series and anime fight scenes must occur. These two needs run into each other in the last two episodes, when Eggman appears to chop down the forest, forcing Sonic and his new friends into action. The result is "Chao Tales" feels like a totally relaxed environment up until it suddenly isn't. This climax is narratively sound, following a structure that should work. The Shadow Chao starts out as one thing, experiences events that change him, and come out on the other side as something else. He's a jerk at the beginning and a hero at the end, fighting alongside Sonic. Something about the execution feels hollow though, too cutesy, too vague. Mechanical when it should be personable. 

All throughout "Chao Tales," I couldn't help but mentally compare it to "Sonic & Friends," the previous attempts to give these characters a home on a short-form video sight. The CGI, Japanese show is ultimately mindless drivel, bright sounds and noises that convey nothing of significance at all. Whenever it did pause to resemble a story, it felt like the kind of plots that those chat-bots CEOs are burning down the planet for could excrete. Obviously, "Chao Tales" is better than that. It's made with traditional animation, so it looks far more appealing than the dead-eyed digital homunculi of the TikTok show. It's not as detailed, smooth, energetic, or beautiful as "Sonic Mania Adventures" or the "Sonic Superstars" cartoon Stanley previously did. However, the colors are bright and warm. The characters move in mostly expressive and fluid ways. The environments and models are charming and likable. I would say "Chao Tales" looks like a really good episode of "Sonic X," like one of the higher budget moments stretched out for eight relative minutes.  

Obviously, I much prefer this over "Sonic & Friends." There's an actual sense of art and soul put into this. The fact that I can tell something about Evan Stanley from watching this proves it has more value than the meaningless noises and distraction that is the other series. However, I can't beat the impression that "Chao Tales" is moving in a similar direction. It wants everything to simple and round and pleasant and cute and in a bite-sized package that can be easily consumed, without generating any unsettling thoughts or feelings in the consumer. That's not what I want "Sonic the Hedgehog" to be. It's entirely possible I'm thinking too hard about a cute little cartoon made to get some hearts or upvotes or likes or whatever. It's not bad, not totally artless, but it still feels like an attempt to push this franchise towards a rather boring place. Or maybe the ugly, naked merchandising opportunities that the Chao represent simply puts me in a bad mood. Eh. [6/10]

TailsTube #11 - A Meeting of the Minds

TailsTube #11 - A Meeting of the Minds

Original Release Date: March 27th, 2025

I am now all caught up with the "Sonic the Hedgehog" virtual YouTuber series "TailsTube" and I have this to ask: Has this entire series been a way to soft-launch normal human beings as a regular part of the "Sonic the Hedgehog" universe again? The very first episode teased the mysterious Purple-Haired MILF and the fandom immediately went wild with speculation over what this could mean. After her name was revealed in episode 10 as "Professor Victoria," episode 11 has the character making her first proper appearance on the show. This occurs at the same time as "TailsTube" starts an arc of some sort devoted to Tails traveling the globe and seemingly revisiting the cities and countries introduced in "Sonic Unleashed." Divisive upon release in 2008, the cartoons and games have referenced the world presented in this game little since then. It would seem that enough time – seventeen years!!! – has passed that "Unleashed" is no longer controversial. Or at least not so controversial that it's been vanquished forever from canon, like Princess Elise and Soleanna. Considering Ian Flynn is now certified lore master of the official Sonic Sacred Timeline and he used the "Unleashed" version of Earth as the outline for the new globe in the post-reboot Archie "Sonic" comics, none of this is all that surprising. 

Truthfully, I would be surprised if Flynn and Tyson Hesse had been playing a calculated long game with "TailsTube." I suspect they probably had inklings of an idea, slipped Prof. Victoria into that first episode to test the waters, and worked backwards from there. Considering how cagey Sega has been about confirming certain elements as Official Dogma or not, at least up until recently, that strikes me as more likely. Now the $1.25 question: What do I, esteemed "Sonic" dweeb, think of all this? When the Post-Super Genesis Timeline was established in the old comic books, confirming that Sonic and all his freaky animal pals co-exist on a civilized Earth not too dissimilar to our own with human beings, I was hostile to the idea. I haaaaated it, truth be told. Many years have passed since then and I now believe that my dislike for this idea was based largely in my devotion to the previously established Archie "Sonic" canon. I was attached to the idea that Mobius was our modern day Earth in the far future, with humanity having splintered off into hidden conclaves of homo sapiens and four-fingered "Overlanders" who had conceded dominance of the planet to the furries decades before in a global war. Suddenly shifting to the new status quo of "Nah, Sonic and friends peacefully coexist with regular-ass people now and it's always been this way actually" gave me whiplash. 

I still prefer the Classic Archie continuity set-up. Or the idea presented in the live action movies and "Sonic X," where Sonic and friends are motherfucking aliens from another world all together who have gotten Isekai'd to our planet. The idea that Sonic and his race of cartoon animal people could simply peacefully live alongside we imperialism prone humans – that Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik is the first person ever to try and displace, enslave, or otherwise exploit the Happy Tree Friends in thousands of years – strikes me as implausible. Nevertheless, historical evidence suggests that it really do be like that. The Japanese game manuals for the original Genesis platformers confirm that Sonic has always lived on South Island, that his people have always stuck to these archipelagos, and that Eggman is the first person to try invading them. That would certainly explain why the hell there was suddenly whole cities of normal people in "Sonic Adventure," which seemed like a massive reboot at the time. Sega barely gave a shit about world-building for the first twenty years of the franchise. The simplistic goals of 16-bit platformers didn't necessitate it. However, there have been vague hints that it has always been this way. In fact, the tie-in media like "Sonic the Animation," the OVA kind of, and even "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" a little bit have always suggested this state of affairs. It's really only "SatAM," "Underground," and the comic books that have gone with the idea of "Mobius" being a post-apocalyptic Earth or alien world of some sort. 

My point here is: Deciding "Sonic Unleashed" was an accurate depiction of the lay-out and function of the blue hedgehog's world in the Archie comic book series, after many years of that most certainly not being the case, annoyed me. Deciding the same is true for the video game universe – which had never depicted a wider world much at all but usually generalized it to be this way – is fine. Truthfully, this is another example of Ian Flynn doing what he's always done. He takes a bunch of unconnected details left lying around by thirty years of stories and he assembles them into some sort of logical whole. It still bugs me that we've seen very little of how these two societies interact, how they function, or what their mutual histories are. However, I'm willing to accept this as the status quo of the games and comics going forth. Sonic and all the characters we care about live on the islands. On the continents, there is a human society similar to our own – and clearly inspired by various cultures around the globe – but ultimately distinct in its histories, cities, and backgrounds. Alright, understood. Duly noted. Let us move on now. 

I swear I never write these "TailsTube" reviews with the intention of taking far too many paragraphs before I actually discuss the episode. (Okay, except those times I did.) Anyway! "A Meeting of the Minds" has Tails and his live-stream making their first stop-off in Spagonia, that Mediterranean inspired nation noted for its art and history. At the University, Tails meets with Professor Victoria, a published author, archeologist, and world renowned historian. Tails is a fan and is stunned to hear that Torii, as she likes to be called, is familiar with his adventures as well. Their conversation about the ancient cultures of this world, and the various mysterious ruins they left behind, are repeatedly interrupted by Orbot. The machine tagged along as revenge for Tails snubbing him on New Year's Eve. He proceeds to spoil every bit of information Tails has to share with the professor about what he knows of these civilizations, not that he bothered to bring along any hard proof of his claims anyway. 

Apparently Professor Victoria had an oblique appearance in "Shadow Generations," as the mysterious individual known only as "T." responsible for compiling Gerald Robotnik's journal pages. (Which exist as collectable items during gameplay.) However, this remains her sole appearance as anything other than a static image. So what do I think of her? Her design is eye-catching enough. I like the way her bouncy purple hair frames her face. I don't know what's up with the Stillsuit looking outfit she has on. Maybe that's standard issue at Spagonia University. The character is voiced by Crystal Lee, a relative newcomer to voice acting who has mostly worked in video games. Lee seems best known for Chinese gambling schemes/waifu generators like "Genshin Impact," "Goddess of Victory: Nikke" and "Zenless Zone Zero." (Though she did voice Cheetah in a random "Justice League" cartoon, a character who is coincidentally also an archeologist.) Lee adopts your standard dignified, refined older woman voice that only hints at the Bayonetta energy fans are going to graft onto Professor Victoria anyway. Within the narrative of this episode, "Torii" mostly exists as the straight woman to Orbot's antics, here to gasp in disbelief at the outrageous things the machine suggests and be skeptical/mildly annoyed by the whole situation. I suppose this hints at a slight stuffy, formal quality to the character – suitable to an academic – or at least a commitment to the hard sciences. Otherwise, we don't get much of a peek at her personality here. Maybe we'll learn more about her actual opinions and shit when we find out if she has a first/last name or not. 

Overall, "A Meeting of the Minds" is an amusing idea for a little four minute bit of animation. The central joke here is easily predicted. Tails is going to have his dreams and hopes of impressing someone he idolizes smashed and ruined by Orbot, who acts as if he's simply being a dunderhead but is actually being malicious. Every time Victoria references a great historical mystery of the planet's distant past, Orbot bluntly and simplistically reveals the truth about these civilizations as revealed in past "Sonic" games. Tails begrudgingly agrees that the robot's statements are basically true, Torii asks if he has any hard proof for these claims, and Tails bashfully admits he doesn't. As Orbot so amusingly puts it, Tails is asking the professor to "take his word for it, bro." The episode essentially repeats this structure until Torri has had enough and discreetly dismisses herself, leaving Tails' ego in shambles. Stretched over, say, a ten minute episode, this joke might have gotten old but it's more than enough to support a four-minute long YouTube thing. Also, I like Orbot spamming the screen with egotistic art of himself the one time Tails does present video evidence of his crazy claims about history. 

"TailsTube" is returning to its stated purpose here, of expanding on the franchise's backstory and recounting past events for anyone who might have missed them. "A Meeting of the Minds" drops spoilers for "Sonic Frontiers" and "Unleashed." It tells us who the Ancients were, why they came to Earth, what happened to them, and specifies their links to the Chao. The so-called Gaian race is detailed a little less but Orbot sarcastically brings up the climax of "Unleashed," where all the Gaia Temples Mega-Zord-ed into a giant robot to fight off the eldritch abomination living inside the planet. The Rule of Three would dictate that the episode would throw in a third example but I guess the "Sonic" franchise doesn't have any other Ancient Aliens/Indiana Jones shit in its background, at least not until whatever Flynn is building towards with the echidnas is finally revealed. (Hinted at by a diagram of the echidnan idol Knuckles found in the comics recently being on the blackboard behind Torri, alongside a bunch of other ancient artifacts from previous games.) Maybe, in the future, we'll find out that Wisps built the Great Wall of China or something. 

My main takeaway from this is twofold. First off, you're telling me that nobody noticed the Gaia Colossus forming and fighting off Dark Gaia at the end of "Unleashed?" The academic world not knowing about the "Frontiers" reveal makes sense, what with that game happening on a secluded island. That there was no news reports or shaky handheld camera footage of the kaiju fight that went down right before the planet put itself back together? I guess people where a bit preoccupied but you'd think Torri would not be so skeptical of Tails/Orbot mentioning a major global event. The academic world not knowing about the "Frontiers" reveal makes sense, what with that game happening on a secluded island... Though you're telling me that Sonic and Tails don't tell anyone about the shit they see on their adventures? Furthermore, Tails didn't think to bring any evidence of his wild claims along with him to his live interview with the historian? Even if Orbot hadn't show up, "You got a believe me, bro" does, in fact, seem to be the little fox's entire plan on this one. I know I'm probably (definitely) overthinking the joke here, as usual. You'd think Tails would have at least snapped more than one video with his little iPad accessory during these two adventures or whatever. 

Also, I like the photograph Orbot shows of Cubot dressing up as Sonic and Eggman laughing at it. Is the little robotic lackey going to be the constant thorn in Tails' side throughout this entire road trip? That might get old fast. Or maybe not, considering we have only gotten three or four "TailsTubes" in the past years. Previously, the first episode of the year drops sometime in the spring with the second coming around summer, so I guess we can expect episode 12 in July or August. I can't imagine Professor Victoria having that big of a role in any future games or comics. (Unless the frequent fan theory that Victoria is actually her first name, with her last name being Robotnik, is proven true.) However, it would be nice to see her again, if only because I'm curious about what her whole deal is. Tails says he wants to head somewhere more "low-key" next time. Not Angel Island or Mertopia, presumably. Aren't you glad I took three months to review all of these? [7/10]

TailsTube #10 – HAPPY NEW YEAR!

TailsTube #10 – HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Original Release Date: December 31st, 2024

Since the promotional machine for "Sonic the Hedgehog 3" already produced a Christmas special starring the blue dude with 'tude and his pals, I suppose the team behind "TailsTube" decided to dedicate the last episode of 2024 to that other December tradition: New Year's Eve. Now, normally, this is the part of the review where I would meander off-topic to discuss the history of New Year's traditions or try and figure out why Sonic and his weird mutant animal friends celebrate this holiday, in order to pad out the review add depth to my writing and enlighten the minds of the world. But I don't want to do that this time. Mainly, because New Years celebrations are the most basic of all calendar events and present in almost every culture throughout history. It seems to be a natural part of conscious existence to mark the end of one year and the start of the next, as both a time of reflection on what happened in the last spin around the sun and to hope for renewal and good luck on our next rotation. The only question that is truly raised by Tails ringing in the New Year is... I guess Sonic's version of Earth must use the same twelve month, January-to-December calendar we do over here in reality. This is slightly improbable, considering different human cultures can't agree on when the New Year starts and ends. The Archie comics provided Mobius with their own calendar, a common sense but of world-building. However, that's a small nit to pick, even by my fastidious standards. Though this episode does reference the Big Ball dropping in Times Square, begging the question of who the "Sonic" version of Dick Clark is and what his fursona might be.

This episode of "TailsTube" plays out in real time, a clock counting down to midnight as Tails talks directly to his streaming audience. This made me realize that every episode of "TailsTube" proceeds in this fashion, as a natural side-effect of mimicking the V-Tuber live-streaming format. I guess I simply never noticed before. As the New Year creeps closer, Tails decides to call up some of his friends. He asks them about their Resolutions for the new year, another human ritual I guess we just have to swallow exists in this world too. Amy, Rouge the Bat, Knuckles, and Shadow pop up on the mic for a few seconds before Sonic speeds into Tails' workshop to celebrate the calendar flipping over. A good time is had by all, except for Orbot, who momentarily pops up on camera before Tails hangs up on him. Because fuck that guy, amirite? 

From the beginning of writing about "TailsTube," I have felt the need to point out that most episodes are essentially advertisements for some new piece of "Sonic" media that Sega has coming out. Very hypocritically, that always makes me feel a little cheated. As if I signed up to be told a story and was getting a sales-pitch instead. This is despite the fact that I was raised on a drip-feed of commercials-posing-as-cartoons, continuing to have nostalgia and a built-in fondness for such programs. Including, obviously, the "Sonic the Hedgehog" series. What is every "Sonic" comic and cartoon if not an advertisement reminding you to run out and buy the "Sonic" video games? I suppose there is a balance to be had. Either way, I'll give Tyson Hesse and everyone else behind "TailsTube" lately: The more recent episodes have not felt so blatantly commercial in their goals. Episode 10 is mostly devoted to simply spending some time with this cast of cartoon characters that we've all grown too attached to. While you can debate the merits of feeling like, ya know, fictional characters and internet personalities are your friends – or, more accurately, the merits of content creators and companies deliberately chasing that reaction – but I'm not gonna lie to you guys. I like it. It's a fun way to waste four minutes. 

Within that four minutes, “TailsTubes” manages to squeeze in a surprising number of phone calls with his various pals and buddies. I've got to give some serious props to Cindy Robinson, for making Amy Rose actually sound like she's been caught off-guard at a party here. The patient little pause she does when Tails asks what her resolution is. Her short segment does a good job of showing the two sides of the character, as Amy very sweetly dedicates herself to helping people and friends more in the new year... While also grumbling at Sonic. Awww, she really is like the Team Mom, isn't she? Meanwhile, Karen Strassman as Rouge starts her conversation by calling Tails a “little man,” a choice of words that would definitely cause a certain reaction to some corners of the fandom. Strassman also shows some range, playing Rouge as her usual flirty, purring, constantly teasing self before Tails reprimands her for planning on stealing more jewels in the new year. Rouge gruffly tells him to “go to bed,” which is both funny and also one of the rare times we've seen Rouge get grumpy. Oh no, I like grumpy Rouge too! 

Moving on quickly, Tails' conversation with Knuckles reveals that the echidna is eager to explore the world beyond his island. After Sonic races back to Tails' workshop, the fox also expresses a desire to see more of his world. Now that is interesting. Knuckles' sense of duty forces him to maintain his vigil at the Master Emerald. Tails, meanwhile, has always lived in Sonic's shadow. (Not to be confused with Shadow, who has an amusingly curt appearance here.) I'm sure this is all merely a set-up for the theme of TailsTube's third “season,” which promises to be “On the Road.” However, I do like the idea of Tails and Knuckles being united in their desire to get out of their comfort zone a little. Might this be a chance for some world-building as well? I don't know, let's not get our hopes up. 

A reoccurring gag throughout this episode – maybe you would call it a “running” gag – is Sonic racing around the world to interrupt every phone call Tails makes, giving the hedgehog a steady presence throughout these four minutes despite technically only being in the room with Tails at the very end. As far as jokes go, it's a decent one. I like how he shows up on Angel Island, gasping for breath. While it would've been funnier if it simply went unexplained how Sonic managed to reached the floating island, Tails clarifies that he must've taken the Tornado. Him startling Knuckles is also a decent joke. But, hey, how does Sonic know where Rouge lives? I don't think the bat's place of permanent residence has ever come up before but Sonic is familiar enough with it that he can just zoom right on in. Not that I'm implying anything! 

The main element of “TailsTube” that draws the fans in, I believe, is the tendency for little in-jokes and references to be hidden in the background. Episode ten was a big one for this. While Tails is talking to Amy at her party, we see some familiar silhouettes behind her. Big and Cream both got invites. As did the Wolf Avatar from “Sonic Forces,” marking the first time Amy has answered his phone calls in a couple of years. Most excitedly, a very recognizable fluffy tail is seen walking behind our host here. Yes, this minor YouTube episode represents the first time Tangle the Lemur has appeared in a piece of moving visual Sega media. Discounting “Sonic: Speed Battle” anyway, which exists in mobile game limbo as far as canon goes. Might this mean that Tangle could appear on a future episode of “TailsTube?” I would safely say the odds of that are low. However, this episode finally revealed the name of the Purple-Haired Lady long speculated about as “Professor Victoria,” before she graduated to actually being interviewed in the next installment. So maybe Tangle's chances are better than I assume. 

Also, if you squint a little harder, you can see where something about the “Year of Shadow” has been written on Tails blackboard, hastily marked out, and replaced with the “Year of Sonic.” Awww, is somebody a bit jealous? Dude, the franchise is named after you, so maybe reel it in! Also also, the animation they cooked up of a Sonic sprite slowly lowering towards an Egg-Prison as a stand-in for the Big Ball was clever. Anyway, episode ten of “TailsTube” is probably not the most important or groundbreaking installment in a series that is already inessential even during its best moments. (I mean, I guess from technically giving Tangle her first animated appearance.) But I did find it to be awfully enjoyable. And isn't that what matters the most? My personal enjoyment being fulfilled? [7/10]

A Very Sonic Christmas

A Very Sonic Christmas

Original Release Date: December 11th, 2024

The last time I was reviewing some animated "Sonic the Hedgehog" media, the speedy hero and his friends were celebrating Halloween, the only good holiday. And every American boy and girl knows what season comes after the ghosts and ghouls are put away for another year. If you said Thanksgiving, you fell into my trap. As far as retail stores and marketing companies are concerned, Thanksgiving and all of November are mere blips on the radar on the way to consumerism's high holy day. Yeah, we are talking about the Christ Mass, the two thousand year old project to absorb various pagan winter festivals under the banner of "civilized" religion. Symbols like trees that remain green throughout the coldest and most frigid months, horned deities rising from the woods to reward the faithful and punish the wicked, worship of celestial bodies, and celebrating those we love and hold dear because we might freeze to death by next year have now lost their meaning even further. Instead of being about some guy from the Middle East that asked us to consider loving each other and redistributing wealth to the poor, these potent icons have now been thoroughly secularized in pursuit of the only true religion humanity has left: The hoarding of goods and resources, consumerism's hollow but relentless demand to always buy more, have more, need more. Ya see why I'd rather hang out with the skeletons and black cats?

But if Christmas is going to be meaningless and commercial, it should at least be weird and stupid too. The hybridizing of arcane symbols and corporate advertising has riddled the modern winter landscape with all sorts of oddities. The Yule Goat and Krampus have been replaced with far stranger modern figures. A green-furred thief, a dancing beagle, and diabetic polar bears are the friendly beasts of our modern yuletide. If there's any tradition of modern Christmas that I adore, it's weird seasonal specials and commercials that filter whatever iconography of the holiday they can exploit through their own temporary goals. This is how the Wacky Wall Crawlers and a home-intruding Michaelangelo have become reoccurring visitors during my personal winter celebrations. There's a tacky, surreal quality to these bygone bits of festive pop culture debris that I find endearing.

Because video games have been hot holiday gift items for many years now, we've had quite a few cross-breedings of wintery frivolity and various  interactive computer entertainment characters. Christmas came to Pac-Land in 1982 and Mario has been wearing a Santa Beard since at least 1989. All of which is to say that Sonic the Hedgehog is no stranger to the Christmas holiday. As I have chronicled multiple times in the past, there have been repeated attempts to associate Sega's fast blue hedgehog with the yearly December event. Robotnik has dressed up like Santa Claus and been visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve, while it has long been accepted that Sonic and friends look a-friggin'-dorable dressed up in wintery gear and dashing through the snow. We don't yet know what the hedgehog and his pals think of the Christ Child but the strictly secular version of the holiday seems to be a big favorite with them. 

At least in North America, the third "Sonic the Hedgehog" motion picture came out in theaters five days before December 25th. The movie itself had nothing to do with Christmas but "Sonic the Hedgehog 3's" proximity to the day led someone to a clever idea for an advertising tie-in. On the eleventh of the same month, Paramount Pictures uploaded a two minute long animated short to their various social media pages entitled "A Very Sonic Christmas." (There's at least four official uploads to YouTube and I'm sure it's also available on Instareel, FaceBake, TikCok, and X the Everything Website.) Some real money was out into this glorified commercial too. The "Sonic" screenwriter duo of Pat Casey and Josh Miller wrote it. All the big name celebrity voice actors reprised their roles and a spiffy, stop motion presentation brought the entire project to life. 

The story invokes "Sonic's Christmas Blast" a little too, though I don't know if that was deliberate so much as a parody of the exact same type of formulaic holiday special writing. In the bleak midwinter, Sonic is introducing Tails and Knuckles to all the earthly holiday traditions of Christmas. They put up a colorfully festooned tree, don their gay apparel, and leave out a treat for Jolly Ol' Saint Nicholas. Knuckles and Tails ask how the fat old elf can make his global trip in a single night. Presumably confirming the existence of Santa Claus as a factual canon in the movie-verse, Sonic uses a Warp Ring to pull the mythical figure right into the Wachowski's living room. This injures the jolly old elf's ankle, threatening the Christmas gift-giving spree. Luckily, a super-fast hero is right here, ready and willing to fill Santa's galoshes. One colorful montage later and Sonic has saved Christmas. 

Despite many of them being upwards of fifty years old at this point, the Rankin/Bass television specials like "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and "A Year Without a Santa Claus" continue to run on TV every December. That means many people instantly associate the stodgy but charming stop-motion animation of these programs with the warm and fuzzy, nostalgic feelings they have for the holiday. Being such old, established parts of the December season with such a distinctive visual style also makes the Rankin/Bass specials an endless source of parody. Animator and filmmaker David H. Hess has come to specialize in riffing on this time-honored tradition. In 2005, he created an animated short in this style for "Saturday Night Live" entitled "Christmas Time for the Jews." Since then, he's directed a snarky hour long Christmas special starring Fred Savage, predictably grisly spoof "A Predator Holiday Special," and a stop-motion segment in a Captain Underpants Christmas installment. On the less ironic end of the spectrum, Hess has also made some similarly old-fashioned holiday fair starring Mickey Mouse. This extremely specific niche is one Hess seems happy to fill and he would do it again with "A Very Sonic Christmas." (He also worked on early YouTube hit "Dinosaur Office" and, uh, those annoying animations I used to see at Denny's at four o'clock in the morning, proving he doesn't only do Christmas stuff.) 

I don't think Hess' style looks that much like the old Rankin/Bass cartoons. The models are lankier with way bigger eyes and toothier months than the characters in "Jack Frost" or "The Leprechaun's Christmas Gold" or whatever. They represent a compromise between that style and the traditional live action "Sonic" movie designs. Quirks like giving Sonic a little strip of blue fur between his weird cyclops eye look good on the CGI models and a little awkward here. The result are models that mildly ugly, perhaps. Nevertheless, "A Very Sonic Christmas" does look cute and charming. It maintains the tactile quality that is, to me, the main ability of stop-motion animation. Santa – voiced by Adam Pally, so they didn't have to rope a new actor in or anything – looks cute, as goes the snow-covered back drop of a traditional “Sonic” level, with its loops and such. 

For something that runs exactly two minutes and seven seconds, “A Very Sonic Christmas” is entertaining. The ugly sweaters the trio wear are personalized to each of the characters: Sonic's has a chili dog on it, Knuckles has grapes, and Tails has a bi-plane. That was cute. Idris Elba's delivery of lines about Santana and Christmas being canceled made me chuckle. Ben Schwartz' take on Sonic are enthusiastic as ever. Shadow's cameo in the final minutes functions as a decent punchline, while reminding us that Shadow and Keanu Reeves are in this movie. Packed into a little over two minutes, when paired with the distinctive visual style, it makes for a clever and pleasant extended commercial. 

But “A Very Sonic Christmas” isn't only a two minute spot and quasi-short film. It's also a self-contained Christmas carol! Released concurrently with the little short was a song with the very similar title, “It's a Sonic Christmas,” credited to Ruwanga Samath. I don't know who that is by glancing at his Wikipedia page informs me he is a Sri Lanka-born music producer who seems to have mostly worked in making songs and incidental music for motion pictures. He worked on a Busta Rhymes' song for “Fast Five” and a bunch of songs for some Netflix things before this. As a holiday single, “It's a Sonic Christmas” is cute enough. It's catchy and jangly. I like the chant of “Go Sonic!/Go Tails!/Go Knuckles!” that makes up the chorus. Reminds me of a Shuki Levi theme song. We hear a bit of the song in the short but the entire version – which recaps the plot of the entire thing – is easily found. Will it find its way onto my Christmas playlist? Probably not, because I'm extremely picky about what Christmas music I deem tolerable. It will, however, find its way into my collection of songs with some connection to the “Sonic” franchise! 

As far as “Sonic” related Christmas specials go, I suppose “A Very Sonic Christmas” is the best. It's shorter and less embarrassing than “Sonic's Christmas Blast” and has more to do with the holiday than “Chao in Space,” which would otherwise win. I don't know if I liked it better than the holiday episode of “Sonic Mania Adventure” though. But it's cute. The amount of work put into essentially a longer commercial represents the kind of commitment to the bit that I can respect. I'm glad this thing and the corresponding song exists, even if I'm ultimately not sure it's worth the amount of words I've typed to talk about it. But that's true of everything! Merry Christmas to all – including those who celebrate Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, as a menorah and kinara are present in the background of this short – and to all a good night. [7/10]

TailsTube #9 – Scary Story Spooktacular

TailsTube #9 – Scary Story Spooktacular 

Original Air Date: October 31st, 2024

Years ago, but not so many years ago that I wasn't already updating this fucking blog, I had an idea for a "Sonic the Hedgehog" fanfiction. I've mentioned before how I dabbled in fanfic way back in the day and have, simply for the fun of it, considered dipping my toes back in from time to time. Probably during one of my many ruminations over the lack of properly scary "Sonic" content, a glorious pun emerged in my brain: Tails from the Crypt. The idea of mashing up the "Sonic" cast and universe with the E.C. Comics approach of grisly horror and pun-cracking hosts seemed irresistible to me. I'm a long time fan of HBO's salacious television adaptation of those old comics, which became a minor pop culture fad in the nineties thanks to its lovably goofy animatronic Crypt Keeper. I love the horror anthology format, of getting a different and self-contained story every week. This has nothing to do with Sonic the Hedgehog, much less Miles "Tails" Prower... But it could. 

Though "Tales from the Crypt," "Vault of Horror," "The Haunt of Fear," and all of Entertaining Comics' other ghoulish titles were a scapegoat for juvenile delinquency back in the fifties, the formula for those comics actually upheld a stable moral viewpoint. The stories almost always involved someone committing a crime, a murder, a burglary, a betrayal, an infidelity. Through the course of the vividly illustrated tale, they would be gorily punished for their misdeeds, often via ghostly vengeance, ironic comeuppance, or zombies. The Crypt Keeper would take us to the back cover with some goofy puns, the impressionable reader getting their beastly thrills while also learning an evergreen message: Crime does not pay. What's done in the dark will come to the light. He who smelt it, dealt it. You get the idea. 

What if we applied this same approach to a collection of short "Sonic" ElseWorld tales? What if Rouge compromised whatever moral integrity she has left to grab an especially shiny jewel, only to fall victim to the horrible curse that comes with it? What if Eggman finally captured Sonic the Hedgehog and executed him, only to find life empty and meaningless without his archenemy to challenge him? Prompting the doctor to go full-Frankenstein, resurrecting the hedgehog as a grotesque combination of stitched-together flesh and robotics that ends up sealing the Eggman's doom? What if Shadow sought more power and awoke his inner Black Hands to a degree he couldn't control, turning into a hideous half-alien monstrosity? What if the Werehog or Lah the Ghost were actually scary? Shit like that. I'll probably never actually write this but it's a fun idea. 

I bring all of this up because, improbable as it seems, it would appear that someone at Sega also touched upon the catchiness of "Tails from the Crypt" as a pun. The ninth episode of "TailsTube" went up on October 31st of last year. Yes, this is another example of a "Sonic" Halloween special that I've long since sought. Subtitled "Scary Story Spooktactular," the episode sees Tails gathering his friends together for a seasonally appropriate ritual: Trying to scare each other with some ghostly stories around a camp fire. Rouge tells a creepified take on Shadow's origins, Knuckles gets existentially spooky in here, and the broadcast concludes with Tails delivering a ghost story relevant to the franchise's history. Tyson Hesse did the script for this one and he has Tails truly relishing his role as creepy M.C. of the evening, filling his dialogue with spoopy puns, which truly removes any doubt in my mind about whether "Tales from the Crypt" was on the writer's mind here. 

Unlike the episodes of "TailsTube" immediately before it, I don't get the impression that the "Scary Story Spooktactular" is meant to promote a new game or set of fortune telling cards. I suppose Rouge regaling us with a retelling of Shadow's creation is another reminder that "Sonic X Shadow Generations" was available by this point and you, the viewer, should go out and buy it. However, the main attraction of this episode returns "TailsTube" to its original purpose and lore-dumping about some aspect of this fictional universe. The second half of the episode is devoted to Tails telling a ghost story about a greedy king and his men pursuing a magical necklace inside a creepy temple. The king is so consumed by his greed that he doesn't noticed that his men are falling around him. Upon finally grabbing the object of his avarice, he is cursed to spend eternity as a spectre with a weirdly colorful tongue. Yes, boils and ghouls, you got it: This is the secret origin of King Boom Boo. 

I can't say I've personally ever wondered about where the altogether ooky "Sonic Adventure 2" boss came from. There have been a lot of "Sonic the Hedgehog" stages with a lot of boss battles, not all of which are that memorable. King Boom Boo could've been easily forgotten but the novelty of Knuckles doing some ghostbusting – and a memorable episode of "Sonic X," probably more importantly – has made this blue-lipped spectre with a Pride flag for a tongue an unfrequently reoccurring element of the series. King Boom Boo's previously unexplored origin was a bit of "Sonic" lore no one had elaborated upon previously. It also revolves around a minor enough character that I doubt Sega cared if Hesse gave him a proper backstory. In other words, this episode of "TalesTube" actually found a corner of the hedgehog-verse that some light could be shined on, fleshing out the world a tiny bit more. 

I'm not going to go so far as to say that the presentation of this ghost story, nor Rouge's reinvention of Shadow's birth, are scary. However, they are properly paced like a horror story, or perhaps a classic folktale, with a repetitive structure that builds towards a ghastly reveal. Moreover, the episode busts out some extremely fun artwork to accompany these segments. We actually see King Boom Boo's squat, already rather ghost-like human form as Tails explains the story. The Shadow segment has some eye-catching black-on-red visuals that are striking. Compared to the last few "TailsTubes" that felt truly tossed together and lazy, some identifiable work actually went into this episode. In fact, there's a new backdrop behind the gang too, featuring skeletons and Jack-o'-lanterns and creepy trees and strings of obscuring mist. The Halloween ambiance practically seeps out of the screen while watching this one. 

Y'all should know by now that nothing else is required for a program to win me over other than some October seasoning. However, I've noted in the past that "TailsTube" feels the most like an actual TV show when it focuses on the wacky banter and interplay between its cast members. This episode has a lot of that. Rouge's flirts with everyone, Knuckles' sheepishness about the supernatural comes up, Shadow grouses, Tails hams it up. Knuckles' attempt at a ghost story is a riff on the "Baby shoes: Never worn" bit that regularly goes viral on the Twittergrams, before the echidna makes the morbid one-liners into an example of his childish, idiotic logic. Ya know what all this shit reminds me of? The "Sonic Boom" vibes are heavy, baby, and I think I really missed them. Seeing these characters bounce off each other in an otherwise mundane setting with a fun gimmick is such a pleasant way to spend time with the "Sonic" gang. If this had been an episode of "Boom," we would've gotten some deranged ranting from Sticks but also this five minutes bit of YouTube animation probably looks as good as any episodes of that show, so let's call it even. 

How exactly Halloween exists in the "Sonic" world is up for debate. While the holiday is never mentioned by name, "trick or treat" is dropped alongside all the seasonal decorations, more than confirming its existence. This "TailsTube" also features a running gag of sorts about "jump scares." Those are low effort attempts to get a physical reaction out of a viewer by a mediocre horror movie or game, involving a quiet build-up and then a sudden and loud shock. In moderation, the jump scare is as valuable as any other tool in the storyteller's box but it tends to be abused by the hackiest of talents. The loudness of the jump scare sacrifices any mounting sense of dread or creepiness, those elements that make a horror movie a true classic. This has made the jump scare loathed by hardcore horror nerds, considered the lowest form of spookery by most. It would seem Shadow agrees, as he decisively refers to the term throughout this installment... Which raises the question of how the hell Shadow knows what a jump scare is. Are there middling horror flicks on Sonic's world? Who is the furry equivalent to Michael Chaves and, more over, what kind of cartoon animal would he be? 

Is this destined to be my favorite episode of "TailsTube?" Unless Sega celebrates Pride Month next week by having both Tangle and Whisper on the show and then having them French. Actually, if that came to pass, this would still probably be my favorite. Unless they were kissing in a pumpkin patch. Aside from me being an easy mark for this kind of spooky scary ambiance, this is a highly entertaining episode in its own right. Honestly, my only real complaint is that Sonic doesn't wolf-out for the hell of it. I guess that would conflict with "TailsTube's" canon status. (And would also require a new model to be rigged up or whatever.) I don't even like the Werehog that much but seems like a missed opportunity not to at least mention it! Anyway, this one gets my rubber stamp of approval. Happy Halloween, you guys. [7/10]

DC X Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 3

DC X Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 3

Publication Date: May 21st, 2025

I've spent a lot of words lately describing why corporate crossovers and collaborations are so common these days. Ya see, kiddies, when two massive international conglomerates love money very very much, they get together and have a Fortnite skin or a SquishMellow or whatever. I suppose this raises a second question, of why they used to be uncommon. "DC vs. Marvel" was considered a seismic, once-in-a-lifetime event in 1996. (Though it wasn't and seems unlikely to be the last...) The string of crossover games Capcom made with various Marvel characters were perceived as a weird fluke, not a blueprint for countless titles to come. I suppose the thought was that these companies were in competition with each other. To shake hands on any sort of temporary team-up would compromise market share dominance. In the 21st century, we are long past the point of companies pretending there is anything fair about capitalism. Most mega-corps are now owned by even more gargantuan networks, monopolies being de-facto. DC Comics and Marvel Comics are merely peripheral organs, clinging appendix-like to the bloated monoliths that are Warner/Discovery and the Walt Disney Company. Tossing out a fun little team-up is a mild discomfort now, one that will sell some t-shirts and push a stock margin a teeny tiny bit higher. 

You have to be cynical about this shit because entities like "DC X Sonic the Hedgehog" are determined to flash-bang blind you with the childish joy of seeing your favorite superheroes and your favorite video game stars appearing in a comic book together. Let me point out the obvious then: When this collaboration was first revealed, we knew it wouldn't merely see the Justice League and Sonic and pals hanging out together. From the get-go, we were presented with slick artwork of Sonic dressing up as the Flash, Shadow cosplaying as Batman, Tails partially roboticized into Cyborg, and so forth. Was this an exciting comic storyline or a launch event for exclusive new "Sonic: Speed Forces" skin? You could buy a T-shirt of Shadow the BatHog two seconds after they announced this thing. It's not as if I'm immune to the blatant manipulation going on here. If they do make action figures or plushies or whatever of Knuckles as Superman, I'm going to buy them. Yet it is hard to shake the feeling that "DC X Sonic" exists less because it's a story that needed to be told and more because it served the corporate interests of the cyberpunk dystopian future we are living in. 

That becomes especially obvious on the third part of the mini-series. Not only because it's the debut of those nifty, extremely marketable mash-ups of Sonic and the gang. This comic book also features a notable appearance from Mr. Terrific, as the guy who watches the Watchtower when the rest of the Justice League is out of town. Despite the not-that-impressive on the surface title of being the Third Smartest Man in the World, DC Comics is pushing Mr. Terrific a lot lately. Not the least bit because he's got a plum supporting role in the new "Superman" movie that comes out in a few weeks. Once you notice that, you also notice that Hawkgirl – who is also in the upcoming big budget reboot – is also in this comic book. She appears alongside Supergirl, subject of another upcoming movie forming the foundation for the retrofitted DC Cinematic Universe. These are all long established heroes in the comics, of course, so it's entirely possible that their appearance here is a mere coincidence and not cross-promotional synergy with a movie WB has a lot riding on. At the same time, it wouldn't shock me if Flynn got a decree from on-high to specifically incorporate these characters somewhere in this crossover. Instead of allowing him to give a spotlight role to Zatanna or Plastic Man or Space Cabbie or whatever weird favorites he might have. 

But you are probably sick of hearing me complain about how corporate this whole endeavor is every time I bring it up. Once again, I must ask if "DC X Sonic" can overcome this impossible-to-miss surface level cynicism. Issue three sees Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Shadow, and Silver stranded on the JLA Watchtower. Mr. Terrific makes it know that their world seems to have blinked out of existence, taking the Justice League with it. Now that this Earth is without its resident team of protectors and our furry friends don't know the current status of their own home, they decide the best thing they can do is take up the Justice League's mantle for the time being. Silver becomes a Green Lantern, Sonic begins racing through Central City. Knuckles flies around Metropolis in the cape and tights. Shadow assumes the role of the grim guardian of Gotham. Amy dons Diana's tiara and mini-skirt to safeguard Washington DC, because God forbid the woman gets her own cool fantasy city. As they start tangoing with the resident supervillains of this world, they quickly notice that the bad guys have gotten their hands on Chaos Emeralds. They realize this means their world didn't vanish forever, that the Justice League must still be alive... Rescuing them also means bringing Darkseid back, a risk the gang has to take. 

I've been saying the whole time that "DC X Sonic" seems to be getting by on fun factor and novelty alone, not having much room for depth in-between all the crossover crisis confrontations. Issue 3 begins with an extremely depressing bit of news: The world that Sonic and friends have always called home, that they've fought to defend countless times, where everyone they love and care about lives, is seemingly gone. Likewise, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and other icons you probably have some attachment to are missing-in-action. Now, Sonic, Tails, and Amy are all too plucky and optimistic to truly believe their world is gone forever. Obviously, we the reader is all too aware that DC Comics didn't kill off their most famous characters in a crossover with "Sonic the Hedgehog." Nor that Sega is giving up their own universe for the sake of this brief mini-series. This lack of stakes and tension is a constant problem in superhero comics, where the status quo is inevitably restored and all drastic losses are merely temporary. Furthermore, despite the "13+" rating on the cover and Mr. Terrific saying "DAMN" in one panel, the target audience for this comic book is most likely within the six-to-ten demographic. Itty bitty little baby children who probably would be overcome with sadness by such irreversible death and destruction. At the same time, it would've been nice if the book could've taken a second to acknowledge what our heroes have lost here. We get one whole panel of Shadow brooding over whether protecting this other world is what Maria would want him to do. Sonic and the others seem to let the news that all their friends are dead slid right off their backs. 

Because that would be sad. And this crossover isn't about being sad, of contemplating loss and the grim inevitability of the end of all things. It's about how marketable cool Sonic and friends look dressed up as the Justice League! Once again, I have to admit to being part of the problem here. Flynn has five brief issues to cram in as many DC Comics cameos as possible. This is presumably how we ended up with Silver talking with Ch'p and Amy doing some mild asphyxiation on Gorilla Grodd. I can't lie and say I don't get a thrill out of this. Of seeing Sonic outsmart Eobard Thawne or Knuckles chit-chat with Lois Lane. It is fun and there is an evident joy in these sequences. 

It's only with a mere minute of reflection that one begins to question why Knuckles had to put on Superman's duds or what benefit Sonic gets by activating the Flash's costume ring. Would the locals be scandalized to see these cartoon animals exposing themselves to the general public? I mean, Mr. Tawky Tawny does wear pants after all. Silver fitting himself into Green Lantern's tights makes sense as those guys Moon Prism Power Make-Up the minute they slip the ring on. What benefit does Shadow get driving around in the Batmobile? Why is Amy's car suddenly able to turn invisible like Wonder Woman's jet? Does Sonic have to wear the Flash's uniform because air friction is suddenly a problem on this world? Professor Zoom wonders if being stuck on this planet somehow gives the hedgehog access to the Speed Force, that plot contrivance that allows DC's speedsters to casually break the laws of physics whenever they want. That remains as a suggestion though. Did Tails willingly agree to turn himself into a Cyborg just so he could hang out with Raven and Starfire? Did I miss the panel last time where Wonder Woman handed Amy her tiara and lasso or are these spares she had lying around? 

I've made no secret of how much I despise the obsession with power scaling that a lot of people have. Having said that... I do think some of the gang are a little in over-their-heads here. Knuckles is not as strong, fast, or overall as powerful as Superman. I'm not sure Amy Rose is capable of doing some of the things Wonder Woman has to do during her daily adventures, such as decapitate a monster or suplex Solomon Grundy. This issue has Tails spit-balling about inter-dimensional travel and string theory, which is quite a leap from him simply being a really gifted mechanic. There's been much debate over the years about whether Sonic is as fast as the Flash or capable of some of the same ridiculous feats. I don't feel like tearing that claim apart but the way he easily defeats Professor Zoom here strikes me as a bit on the unlikely side. Dropping Sonic and friends into the DC Universe is a fun idea and would be a way to explore a lot of the limitations of these guys as crime fighters. Instead, "DC X Sonic" continues to function on cool factor alone, never asking any deeper questions about what would happen from such a switch-a-roo. 

Listen, I'm not saying I didn't have some fun with this. The best thing about this crossover continues to be the parallels and differences the writer has found between these two sets of characters. Yes, the way Superman protects Metropolis can be compared to how Knuckles protects Angel Island. Amy swinging her heart-generating Piko Piko Hammer while dressed as the Warrior of Love is a nice bit of metaphorical symmetry. However, the differences between these guys is also highlighted in ways that prove far more amusing. Lex Luthor, another bald super-genius, attempts to mislead Knuckles and, thankfully, he doesn't fall for it this time. When that doesn't work, the villain produced a Chaos Emerald that he's mistaken for Kryptonite. Obviously used to Superman peacefully flying away after an attempt on his life, Lex is startled when Knuckles swings back around and beats him. Similarly, Shadow the Hedgehog somehow proves even more humorless than Batman by swatting Joker aside the head with a rocket skate without saying a single word. 

Such encounters between our superhero-ified Team Sonic and the various native villains and allies of this world is, in fact, what composes most of this entire issue. Silver clobbers Sinestro alongside some of the better known Green Lantern Corp members. While Gorilla Grodd is the enemy that Amy pummels in the District of Columbia. Tails references fighting off Brother Blood alongside the other Teen Titans but we don't see that play out. That speaks to, once again, the hyper pacing of this entire story arc. The compromise is clear: Flynn clearly had a hundred ideas and scenarios he wanted to showcase during such a crossover as this. He only got five issues to explore them all, forcing the issue to rush through a bunch of scenarios that are clearly only a small selection of what has been going on during this time. 

Honestly, this entire issue feels a little bit like Flynn is simply happy to play in another sandbox for once. Sinestro and his Chaos Emerald charged Yellow Lantern summon some Parallax looking dragons. Gorilla Grodd descends on our nation's capital with a fleet of psychically controlled super-gorillas. The Joker, clearly in more of a wacky agent of mischief than mass-murdering demon-clown mode, rides around on a Joker-Mobile looking go-cart with a matching rocket launcher. Flynn even sneaks in a one-page appearance from Beast Boy and has the good guys hanging out at the Hall of Justice. You can tell that he's truly enjoying the chance to touch on all these beloved characters and elements. In fact, I'm starting to wonder if this entire mini-series wasn't a backwards scheme of Flynn's to maybe get hired by DC and write about something other than blue hedgehogs for once? 

Not that I think Flynn has anything but love and admiration for the “Sonic” cast and universe. He includes his fair share of in-jokes and shout-outs here. After Beast Boy turns into a green echidna to mock Knuckles, Sonic quibs that Knuckles would look awful in green. Yes, there's no way that's not a sideways poke at the much-loathed Chaos Knuckles arc, making this the first time an official piece of “Sonic” media has recalled the Archie series since it ended. The fanboy-ing out is a two way street, as well. You can tell the writer had a good time getting to include outrageous characters like C'hp, Grodd, or have Tails shout “Boo-yeah!” I never detected much influence on Flynn's “Sonic” writing from traditional superhero fair but it's clear he must be a reasonable fan of D.C. Comics shenanigans if he's casually dropping Sojourner Mullein or King Solovar into this crossover. 

If Flynn is relishing the chance to play around with an I.P. bigger than Sonic, you can tell Adam Bryce Thomas is as well. His take on Grodd, the Green Lantern Corps, Supergirl, and Hawkgirl all look pretty damn great. He was clearly especially happy to get a chance to draw the Joker, who is extremely animated and exaggerated looking on his pages. He brings his own approach to Lex Luthor too, who is a bit portlier and more Kojak-looking than he has been recently. Say what you will about the gimmickry of having Sonic and the gang dress up like the Justice League, there's no doubting that the costumes look cool as shit. The scenes of Shadow pursuing the Joker through traffic or the action beat with the Green Lantern Corp and Sinestro are as dynamic and smoothly illustrated as we've come to expect from this guy. IDW clearly did find the right man for this job, one of the few artists out there who can make both Sonic characters and human beings look bad-ass.

All along, I've been asking if “DC X Sonic” will rise above the novelty of its premise and actually provide a compelling story in its own right. More than half-way through at this point and I'm starting to realize that's not happening. I don't think this crossover is running on any idea deeper than it being cool to see these two universes interact. For sure, it absolutely is cool and I'm enjoying the unlikeliness of that. However, once again, I come away from another issue of this event wishing it was a little less breathless in its approach. Would've been nice to take a little more time to explore these circumstances and root what happens in a bit more heart. At the same time, Knuckles the Super-Echidna punches Lex Luthor through a glass window and across his desk and I'm not going to piss up your leg and claim I don't love that. Smashing your action figures together is fun but I do wish there was slightly more depth than that. [7/10]