Sonic X: Issue 36

Sonic X: Issue 36
Publication Date: August 2008

As Archie's primary “Sonic” cover artist for more than twenty years, Patrick Spaziante's obvious skills should speak for themselves. Every once in a while though, he would draw something that was just... Weird. Like the cover for issue 36 of “Sonic X.” For some reason, Spaz made the decision to illustrate the pets surrounding Sonic and Eggman in a hyper-realistic manner. The result is unnerving, as clearly cartoony characters are surrounded by nearly photo-realistic animals. That Sonic and Eggman have pained, unnerved facial expressions only adds to how uncomfortable this cover is to look at. It's not bad – Spaz's work is too detailed to qualify as 'bad” - but it's definitely weird looking. But at least it ties in perfectly with the story inside the book.

So, anyway, the plot: “Petastrophe” begins with Sonic dining with Chris Thorndyke and friends inside an ice cream shop. A spoiled little rich bitch named Milan Ramada marches in and starts being a massive cunt to Chris and his friends. This petty argument is thankfully interrupted by an Eggman attack, where the doctor steals the limo Milan rode in. The car's engine contains a special device called a Recombobulator – yes, really – that Eggman desires for some reason. Yet he needs a Chaos Emerald to power it. Instead of just stealing one like he usually does, Eggamn decides to participate in a pet show where a real Chaos Emerald is the prize. A pet show where Milan is also appearing. Chris enters Sonic into the same pet show strictly to spite both of their archenemies.

“Petastrophe” is another Joe Edkin dish. In the past, Edkin's work on “Sonic X” has ranged from deeply formulaic stories to enjoyably nutty homages to classic genre cinema. With this story and his previous credit, the writer is showing a previously unseen and deeply unseemly preachy side. His story for issue 33 included an annoying moral about the advantages of intelligence over brute strength. “Petastrophe” pauses for two sequences so Cream can learn a lesson on the importance of leash training your pets. At first, the cartoon bunny is disturbed by Earthlings putting animals in cages and on leashes. After Eggman's shenanigans causes a bunch of pets to go ape-shit, Cream realizes leashes are necessary. It's an odd lesson to include in a “Sonic” comic, firstly, and seems more-or-less disconnected with the rest of the story.

And what is the rest of the story about? Mostly, making fun of Paris Hilton. By 2008, Hilton's status as an inescapable, inexplicably famous celebrity starlet was on the wan. The vile Kardashian brood was already beginning to supplant her. So Edkin choosing to make fun of her in a kid's comic was a weird decision. His characterization of Milan Ramada as a deeply petty, manipulative, vicious little bitch borders on the mean-spirited. (Though I have no doubt that twelve year old Paris Hilton was an equally terrible human being.) Considering Chris Thorndyke is also the child of insanely rich parents, it's odd to make his heated enemy another rich kid. You'd think Milan would consider Chris an equal, instead of someone to look down on. The book points out this factoid, claiming Chris isn't a hateful piece of garbage like Milan. Okay, sure, but it's not like he can relate to the struggles of the working class either.

When the book isn't lecturing kids on pet safety or lobbing soft balls at Paris Hilton, it's contrasting Sonic and friends with normal Earth animals. Which does admittedly lead to some cute moments. Such as Sonic encountering a realistic hedgehog and pausing in confusion at the strange creature. Or Sonic getting examined by the judges. (Disappointingly, Edkins doesn't throw in a panel of Knuckles comparing genitalia with a real echidna.) Sadly, Eggman trying to pass Bokkun off as a cat is a less amusing. Christ, it's barely a joke.

That is a good example of how incredibly stupid Eggman's plan is, even by the standards of his previous evil plots. Eggman randomly grabs this Recombobulator thing, which does not come up in the rest of the story. He needs a Chaos Emerald to power it, even though it was inside a car motor for some reason. Though Eggman has shown no qualms about stealing Chaos Emeralds before, he decides to fairly compete for it. Also: Why the fuck is a pet show giving away an incredibly volatile, literally magical power source? I know this is a kid's comedy book but, gee whiz, is a little internal consistency too much to ask for?

This is an action comic, theoretically. Issue 36 does feature some mildly diverting action scenes. An early bit has Sonic grabbing missiles that Eggman has launched into Station Square as a distraction. (Which is a nice reminder that, even if the book plays him exclusively for comedy, Eggman is still a wantonly destructive terrorist.) The pages devoted to the hedgehog grabbing the missiles before they hit innocent bystanders are pretty good. The book's big conclusion has Sonic and Eggman's fight causing an animal riot at the pet show. For some reason, cheetahs, giant snakes, and red tail hawks where invited to this pet show. Weirdly, the big hero moments belongs to Cream. She shows off a previously unseen super-ability, releasing a sonic scream that throws back three snarling dobermans. It really comes out of nowhere but James Fry's pencils at least look nice.

So it's another middling, pretty dumb issue of “Sonic X.” I'm honestly surprised I keep finding new things to say about this comic book. I could save myself a lot of trouble and just type the words “It stinks!” 499 times. But, no, I've got to be a professional for my cartoon hedgehog blog. I'm going to whisper “Only four more issues of Sonic X!” into my pillow before falling asleep tonight. [5/10]

Sonic X: Issue 33

Sonic X: Issue 33
Publication Date: May 2008

With issue 33 of Archie's “Sonic X” series, original head writer Joe Edkin returns to the book. I have no idea why Edkin took such an extended break, leaving Ian Flynn and a random selection of other people to pen the scripts. Nor do I know why Edkin would come back at this point. Maybe Flynn was busy with the main “Sonic” book. Maybe Archie was already planning “Sonic X's” end and wanted to bring back the original writer to create a sense of finality. Who knows? Sad to say, Edkin's uneven skills did not improve during his vacation from this title.


 “Meteor Madness” begins with Sonic and pals having a cook-out. While Chris Thorndyke bemoans how few adventures he has, Grandpa Chuck spots a meteor with his telescope. This bit of news becomes more urgent when Chuck announces that there's a Chaos Emerald inside the meteor. The group of friends – which includes the Chaotix, recently returned to Earth – head out on a wild scavenger hunt, forming teams and seeing who can make it to the Emerald first.

The scavenger hunt idea starts out as mildly amusing. Some good natured-competition between friends is always a nice way to ratchet up tension inside a story. Sadly, “Meteor Madness” quickly falls into an exhausting zany streak. Not to mention some spotty continuity. Sonic running to the North Pole from where ever the hell the Thorndyke mansion is located is one thing. Running fast is Sonic's thing. But how the heck do the other characters keep up with this pace? “Meteor Madness” has the team running all over the world and it raises some serious questions.

But back to that zany aspect. While in South America, the meteor changes hands more times than I could count. Rouge zips in, determined to have it for herself. Amy gets a little too involved, threatening to smash people with her hammer. The Chaotix grab the meteor only to loose it. Big the Cat is here for some reason. What could've been a mildly cute gag – Eggman is on vacation, relaxing in a mud bath – is interrupted when the heroes run through the doctor's base, dipping him too deep into the mud.

If the overbearing physical comedy wasn't your first clue, “Meteor Madness” catches “Sonic X” in an especially juvenile mood. Edkin is getting at a moral here. In the early pages, Chris Thorndykes expresses some misgivings about how Sonic and his friends always have all the adventures. After forming a team with Cream and Charmy, Chris tags behind the others on the chase. In the end, Chris is revealed to have grabbed the Emerald from the meteor when nobody was looking. This proves his worth to the time and, presumably, imposes on the young reader's how observation and planning is sometimes more important than brute strength.

The only problem is... Chris Thorndyke is a whiny little bitch. Those panels devoted to Chris talking about how he wished he had more adventure in his life are insufferable. Shit, kid, aren't you like ten years old? Don't you realize you aren't cut out for adventuring? Jesus, why does Sonic put up with this entitled little brat? Your parents are fucking loaded, Chris. Enjoy the fact that you can have absolutely any material possession in the world for your entire life and stop trying to force yourself into life risking adventures with your furry friends.

Truthfully, I think Edkin was aiming his writing at a very young crowd with this one. “Sonic X” has always skewed younger than Archie's other, superior “Sonic” book. But this particular issue is practically aimed at the kindergarten crowd. More than once, Edkin's narration boxes push over into overly pushy, outright asking the reader questions. In case you didn't get the obvious moral, Edkin pins on another narration box on the final page, outright explaining today's lesson. Maybe the six-to-seven crowd would have less of a problem with this.

Having said that, at least the artwork is pretty good. You never really know what level of quality you're going to get when David Hutchinson is drawing an issue. Some of his illustrations have been the best artwork “Sonic X” has ever seen. Some of his other pencils have been the worst artwork to appear in this book. Luckily, Hutchinson is bringing his A-game with this one. Everyone is on-model. There's an expressive, fluid aspect to the action sequences. The change in locations allows for some colorful backgrounds. There's even a surprising amount of detail in the scenes devoted to Eggman's robot, suggesting Hutchinson had been taking pointers from Steven Butler. So at least the artwork's nice.

Oh, and one more thing. Joe Edkin leans on another annoying habit in this issue. He takes time to reference stuff that happened on the cartoon show. Knuckles makes some vague reference to fighting a robot ninja at one point. Is it too much to ask for this comic book to stand alone? Around the same time, Edkins also takes the time to correct a continuity error. Edkin had the Chaotix getting zapped back to Sonic's world off-panel many issues ago. Ian Flynn, in his Valentine's Day special, had Vector and his crew back on Earth without explanation. Edkin takes the easy way out and just says that the Chaotix were teleported back to Earth in-between these two explanations. Not that anyone really noticed this foul-up but I guess it's good that somebody is paying attention.

Once again, an issue of “Sonic X” has left me feeling more-or-less nothing at all. It's a fairly inoffensive read but I guess I demand a little more from my comic books about blue hedgehogs that run fast. Edkins wrote some really fun stories in the past but when he pitches to the kiddy crowd, the quality suffers. Anyway, that's another issue of “Sonic X” reviewed. 33 down, seven to go. [5/10]

Sonic X: Issue 22

Sonic X: Issue 22
Publication Date: July 2007

I don't know what the hell was up with the writer's rotation on Archie's “Sonic X” book. Joe Edkin wrote most of the first fifteen issues, Ian Flynn subbing in for him a few times. With the last two issues, the series has rotated through a couple of new additions. Now, with issue 22, Joe Edkin is back. I don't know why it was like that. Anyway, does this issue of “Sonic X,” which has been in a mediocre groove for far too long, offer any surprises at all?

Proving once again that Edkin likes to make references to eighties movies, issue 22 is devoted to a story entitled “Decoe and Bocoe's Not-So-Excellent Misadventure.” In it, Decoe and Bocoe's utter incompetence finally forces Eggman to let them go. Instead of turning them into scrap metal as you'd expect, the robots are fired. They search around for some new jobs, finding employment in an ice cream shop. Because apparently some places will hire you even if all your references are evil scientists. In their place, Eggman builds a pair of far more competent replacements for the robots. Turns out they are too competent, as they attempt to take over his criminal empire all together.
Despite what the title and above plot description might lead you to believe, this issue isn't really about Decoe and Bocoe so much. Oh yeah, they are in the story. They are given more to do than usual, actually helping direct the plot. Yet the issue is just as devoted to the sexier, sleeker replacements Eggman builds. Or Sonic saving the day, for that matter. I guess the title made me hope for a day in the life story about the bad guy's unappreciated henchmen. Instead, I got a story that only strays slightly outside the “Sonic X” formula I've bitched about roughly 21 times before.

So, when the book is focused on them anyway, what do Decoe and Bocoe's not-so-excellent misadventures include? Mostly some pretty hacky slapstick shenanigans. When they get hired in the ice cream bar, they prove to suck at this job as much as they did at their old one. Within minutes, they somehow reduce the entire building to a chocolate covered mess. Wow, that's actually sort of impressive! But don't worry. The robot's stupidity ends up saving the day, in a round about way. I'm not much of a fan of Decoe and Bocoe. This book already has a surplus of goofy, comic relief villains. But this issue did make me appreciate them a little bit more. Their dumbness is so sincere, it's nearly charming.
Naturally, Sonic has to save the day again, as is his wont. This time, he's forced to team up with Captain Westwood again. The human's distrust of Sonic has, at this point, become a running gag. Which is arguably what it should be, since characters in this comic aren't allowed to grow or develop. The action that is there is pretty standard. With one surprise. The hedgehog actually looses his initial scuffle with Eggman's new hench-bots. It's just a momentary set back but still more then what I'm use to seeing from this version of the character. It's short lived though as, by the end, Sonic is homing attacking a giant robot hard enough it returns to Eggman's base.

From the title on down, there's some cute homages tossed into this issue. No, Decoe and Bocoe never perform air guitar. That would've been too awesome. However, Eggman's latest harmless death machine is a spitting image of the “Lost in Space” robot. Which is pretty cool. Beyond that, the Mobius Encyclopedia informs me that the owner of the ice cream shop looks a lot like some minor character from the “Archie” books. You know, the ones actually featuring America's favorite ginger polygamist. I'll take your word for it, nerd wiki editors.
There's at least one surprising name in this issue's credits. James Fry draws the story. Fry has mostly retired from the main “Sonic” book at this point, so his appearance is a pleasant surprise. I've often wondered if “Sonic X” mandated its artist to copy the art style of the show. Issue 22 more-or-less confirms this. Fry retrains his usual anime-esque artwork and, instead, sticks to the established looks of the characters. Having said that, Fry keeps the energy that defines his works. The action scenes are pretty well done. The facial expressions are vivid. Eggman's robots, for once, don't look utterly goofy. They even look kind of cool.

The standard for Archie's “Sonic X” comic is such that even a slightly above issue like this one really stands out. The jokes are still pretty lame. Nothing too exciting happens. But at least it's something a little different, a little outside the norm. It barely rises above the last few issues but I'll give Edkin some credit for putting in a little more effort than he obviously had to. [6/10]

Sonic X: Issue 19

Sonic X: Issue 19
Publication Date: May 2007

I've talked about this over and over again while reviewing “Sonic X.” If there's nothing else interesting about this comic, it's the way the Sonic characters are shoved into our world. In the past, Sonic and friends have experienced Earthly holidays and traditions. They have, from time to time, visited different famous cities around the world. While “Sonic X's” quality would also come off as somewhat compromised, at least the idea of the blue hedgehog speeding around Earth as we know it is sort of interesting. Issue 19 might as well be “Sonic Goes to Las Vegas.”

The Thorndyke family has its fingers in seemingly everything. I guess that's why they are so rich? The latest venture of Chris' dad is a casino in Vegas, bearing the family name. Even though Chris is too young to gambling, he still tags along with his dad to the grand opening. Naturally, Sonic, Tails, and Amy follow too. Coincidentally, Eggman and his minions are also in the city. He's built – what else? – a giant robot, with the intention of robbing the casinos. I guess its luck that Sonic happen to be there?

I'll give Joe Edkin this much. He often makes the most of what he's given. “Muerta! Las Vegas!” features several loosely disguised Vegas landmarks. Even though this is a kids' book, it's sort of surprising that most of the issue is set in a casino, places where kids aren't always allowed. Then again, this is modern day Vegas we're talking about. It's a candy colored theme park for the whole family. So naturally there's a video arcade in the Thorndyke casino. (And it's not as if “Sonic” is unfamiliar with random gambling references.) Still, Edkin includes pretty much everything the city is associated with except for the surrounding desert, Siegfried and Roy, and the call girl cards littering the sidewalk.

Sadly, Edkin doesn't mine very many laughs from contrasting Sonic and friends with the Vegas location. A large section of the story is devoted to the quartet hanging out in the arcade. Chris and Sonic play a racing game. Sonic is unenthusiastic and unfamiliar with the controls, Chris winning the race. Since he's such a sad, pathetic creature with so few victories in his life, Chris is overjoyed by this. Later, after beating Amy at the same game, Rose smashes the cabinet. Luckily, Eggman attacks the city before the four can get kicked out.

You'll notice I haven't mentioned Sonic much in this review. The blue hedgehog actually removes himself from a long portion of the book. You see, Sonic doesn't like the casino, as it remind him of a previous time when Eggman stuck him inside a giant pinball machine. Okay, fair enough. Yet Sonic turning into such a moody child is definitely surprising. He flees the city and hangs out in a field of flowers for a while. Plot wise, this happens so Sonic won't be around to immediately stop Eggman when he attacks the city. Which is pretty lazy writing, really.

I continue to object to how “Sonic X” characterizes Eggman. He's a big dumb ass, focused on stealing human money so he can build more weapons of mass destruction. That's pretty modest goals for a villain of his intellect. Way too often, this series has fallen back on him building a goofy giant robot that is easily thwarted by Sonic. It's a formula “Sonic X” has relied on pretty much since the beginning. Issue 19 isn't any different. This issue's giant robot is slot machine themed. Instead of getting cash when certain images line up, different forms of attacks are activated. And they're are pretty useless too. What's the combat advantage of shooting lemonade or cherries at someone?

“Sonic X's” writing might be pretty boring but at least the artwork has been consistently nice for the last few issues. Tracy Yardley comes back to draw this one. Out of all the book's regular artists, Yardley adds the most emotion to the stock “Sonic X” designs. Nutty Eggman, grouchy Sonic, and pissed Amy look especially good in Tracy's style. Chris making such a big deal about winning a video game is pretty annoying but Yardley draws his reaction with such energy, that it almost works.

You know, after a slow start, for a while there it seemed like the “Sonic X” comic might actually be getting kind of good. When the series was focused on doing high energy homages to classic genre cinema, it actually became pretty fun. When it falls back on this lazy formula, it's competent but quite boring. At least Ian Flynn's stories tend to be a little more character based. You can really tell when Joe Edkin is phoning it in. Here's hoping for a random “American Werewolf in London” homage. [5/10]

Sonic X: Issue 18

Sonic X: Issue 18
Publication Date: April 2007

After letting Ian Flynn take the reigns for two issues, Joe Edkin returns to “Sonic X.” Choosing not to follow the holiday theme and have Sonic learn about the Easter Bunny, the book is instead back to its goofy, sci-fi adventure antics. This time, Edkin at least mixes things up by making Rouge the center of the story. It's surprising that “Sonic X” had been running for 18 issues at this point and the bat femme fatale had yet to get a story centered around her. Maybe this'll set a precedence and Topaz or Grandpa Chuck will get a cover story next?

The story's entitled “Rouge Goes Rogue,” which is confusing because I call confuse my bat girls and X-Women all the damn time. Anyway, the jewel loving bat enters the story by stealing a rare moon rock from the air-space museum. The real Rouge immediately goes missing, causing GUN agent Westwood to suspect she truly is behind these crimes. Next, Knuckles' Master Emerald is swiped by the rogue Rouge. As Sonic and friends attempt to flush out the jewel thief out, they discover the truth. That Eggman has built a robotic duplicate of Rouge and is using her to swipe power sources for his evil machines.

From the opening pages, it's apparent what direction “Rouge Goes Rogue” is going in. Archie's other “Sonic the Hedgehog” book has featured plots about robotic duplicates numerous times over the years. Whether its Pseudo-Sonic, Auto-Automatons, or the Infiltrator Units, Robotnik has attempted to sabotage Sonic's operations with look-a-like machines many times. Edkin doesn't deviate too much from the established patterns these stories usually follow. A normally heroic character acts as villainous. A friend wonders about their odd behavior, while another is eager to condemn them for the crime. Eventually, the truth is revealed, the real character steps forward and the robo-double is revealed.

Edkin does make a few smart decisions over the course of this typical story. First off, the story moves at a decent pace, zipping right along. Making Rouge the victimized character is clever. She's an ally of Sonic but with a checkered past. She's also far enough removed from the central gang that her alliances are suspect. Of course, giving Rouge such a prominent role in the story also allows for plenty of fan service. The opening sequence, where Rouge winds her way around the museum's security measure, is about as edgy and sexy as “Sonic X” could be expected to get.

The story also brings Topaz and Captain Westwood back into the story, after a brief hiatus. It's already established that Topaz is close to Rouge, though the exact confines of their relationship remains delightfully ambiguous. Naturally, Topaz comes to the defense of her partner/secret girlfriend. Also well established is Captain Westwood's paranoia and distrust of Sonic and his friends. Though initially fresh and entertaining, Westwood's constant antagonism is becoming tiring. When he tosses a giant net over Sonic and Knuckles for no reason, the audience starts to roll their eyes. Having said that, Topaz and Westwood being forced to work together provides some decent conflict. Edkin probably should've played that up a little more.

As an action story, “Rouge Goes Rogue” is mildly entertaining if a standard affair. The Robo-Rouge karate kicks Knuckles in the head, after a double entendre laden conversation. Naturally, Rouge ends up fighting her mechanical copy. This fight is disappointingly short lived. You think the comic would've made more of that one. Eggman's latest mecha suit ends up dominating most of the action. He raises from the Potomic River is a heavily armed but unimaginatively designed robotic suit. Naturally, Sonic and Knuckles make short work of the machine. The echidna tears open the armor while Sonic dive bombs the vulnerable innards. I mean, it's kind of fun but a bit on the uninspired side.

Luckily, issue 18 is a nice looking comic book. David Hutchinson returns to pencils. After producing some underwhelming work in his last appearance, Hutchinson is back in top form. The opening sequence, devoted to Rouge stealing the mono rock, features some creative angles and nice use of shadows. That same atmospheric approach returns with a later scene, where Topaz and Westwood are staking out the robotic Rouge. As usual, Hutchinson's grasp on the “Sonic X” house style remains strong but he continues to add enough expressive touches to the characters' to make him his own. Knuckles' rage while breaking a window or Topaz's shock at Rouge's disappearance are two good examples.

There's one or two fun elements to issue 18 of “Sonic X.” Otherwise, it's just another issue of a series that is all too happy to be mediocre, more often then not. The sexy Rouge shenanigans does elevate this one above the average but just slightly. [6/10]

Sonic X: Issue 15

Sonic X: Issue 15
Publication Date: December 2006

As it did with Halloween, “Sonic X” continues to distinguish itself from Archie's other “Sonic the Hedgehog” book by acknowledging the passing holidays. I guess this makes sense, since “Sonic X' is actually set on Earth. Being a December release, issue 15 is the “Sonic X” Christmas special. Unlike Halloween, Sonic had encountered Christmas before. Whether you're talking about the “Christmas Carol” inspired back-up in issue 6 or the obscure but wacky “Sonic Christmas Blast” TV special, the hedgehog has tussled with the jolliest of holidays before. How does this story stack up to those previous stories?

In “Bad Eggnog” - nice title, Edkin – Chris and his family introduce Sonic and his friends to the Earthly custom of Christmas. While Cream happily embraces the story of Santa Claus, Sonic is more skeptical. Eggman has found out about Christmas, building a evil scheme around the holiday. He dresses as Santa Claus, presenting himself to the world as the jolly old elf. Eggman Claus threatens the children of the world that no one will get any Christmas presents unless Sonic surrenders himself. Naturally, Sonic sees through this plan and begins to work to undermine it.
“Bad Eggnog” puts Sonic in an interesting position: That of the skeptic. Up until this point, the “Sonic X” version of the character hasn't shown a much deeper personality then he's penchant for heroics. In issue 15, the hedgehog says he doesn't believe something unless he can see it with his own eyes. Naturally, he's not very impressed with the story of Santa Claus. He's so determined to figure out the truth that he races up to the North Pole to search for Santa's workshop. When Grandpa Chuck tells Sonic that Santa's workshop only appears on Christmas Day, the hedgehog remains unconvinced. We knew Sonic was the blue dude with 'tude but who knew that attitude included a rationalist streak?

Sadly, “Bad Eggnog” doesn't celebrate Sonic's critical thinking. The hedgehog's refusal to believe in Santa Claus gets him in trouble. The world falls for Eggman's paper thing disguise and happily turn on the heroic alien. The ease with which humanity believes the clearly fake Santa's words reminds me of the deeply cynical “Invader ZIM” Christmas episode. While that show was taking about as edgy a jab at Christianity as a Nickelodeon show could, Joe Edkin's script is only attempting to ratchet up the tension. And when I said “world,” I meant it. Germans and Frenchmen are shown attacking Sonic. (Obviously, the comic doesn't acknowledge that these country have Saint Nicholas and Pere Noel instead of Santa.) Sadly, this doesn't work very well because only one page is devoted to it.
Joe Edkin wasn't the first person to touch upon the resemblance between Eggman and Santa Claus. “Sonic Christmas Blast” had Long John Baldry's Robotnik also disguising himself as Santa, though his scheme was slightly different. I guess both of them being fat guys who wear red is just too obvious a connection to go without comment. Just as in that special, this scheme makes the population of Earth look highly gullible. Eggman is obviously not Santa Claus. Being a genius in robotics, you'd think the villain would build a suitable Santa facsimile. Instead, he simply throws on a red suit. He doesn't even color his mustache white! Later, Eggman's plot takes an even sillier turn. He has Decoe and Bocoe stand on each other's shoulders, wearing a fake beard and a red suit! Show some fucking oversight, fat man.

Instead of giving us an awesome showdown at the North Pole, “Bad Eggnog” ends in a hugely disappointing manner. Sonic goes with Decoe to the North Pole. Grandpa Chuck ensures Eggman's plan is undone on TV. He has Estella dress as Santa and wave in the distance, saying she's the actual Claus. Sonic is tossed a Power Ring and unmasks the robots. Instead of the hedgehog whooping on his arch-enemy for attempting to ruin the holiday, Sonic and the Thorndykes allow Eggman to get away. The spirit of giving is one thing but allowing an internationally feared terrorist leave scot free is an entirely different matter.

Issue 15 is pretty disappointing but I will give it perks for two things. First off, Todd Wahnish's artwork is great. Wahnish goes out of his way to copy the art design of the “Sonic X” TV show. That's a good feature for a licensed book, I suppose. Another positive element of “Bad Eggnog” is how inclusive Joe Edkin's script is. The opening page features Sonic and friends looking at a shop window, filled with Christmas decorations... and a Menorah. Later, Station Square's Christmas tree lighting ceremony is also accompanied by the lighting of a huge menorah. I tried to look up Joe Edkin, to see if this decision perhaps reflected a mixed heritage, but the only info I could find was about the work he's done for Marvel and DC.

Despite playing the true nature of Santa Claus ambiguously throughout the comic, issue 15 of “Sonic X” ends just the way you would expect. Presents pile up under the Christmas tree the next morning, suggesting that Santa Claus really does exist. It even convinces the formally skeptical Sonic. Which I guess is fine, considering this is a kid's book. Yet it's a bit disappointing, considering this story had way more promise then that. [5/10]

Sonic X: Issue 14

Sonic X: Issue 14
Publication Date: November 2006

Last time, I referenced the weird push-and-pull inside “Sonic X.” This is two fold. Joe Edkin is clearly pulled between telling the original stories he wants to tell but, for some reason, is stuck working within the TV show's timeline. This makes the book really frustrating to read, sometimes. I suspect it made it frustrating to write too. The more pressing divide is in the book's tone. With issue 13, and it was evident in a few other issues too, you can see Edkin desiring to write a fun book referencing eighties horror flicks. On the other hand, this is still a book for little kids, forcing him from going too far with the monster movie shenanigans.

Picking up were we left off last time, Chris and Cream are being chased around a mansion by the ghost-possessed versions of their moms. When they attempt to escape, they find the home surrounded by more zombies. The two kids stay inside and fight off the ghosts with what they can get their hands on. Eventually, Cream finds a magical plot device that protects them and, eventually, helps them resolves the story once Sonic and Tails are sprung from prison.

In its opening pages, “Hare-Um Scare-Um: Part 2” is actually a pretty great horror story for young kids. The presentation of the ghost-possessed people – floating a few inches above the ground, huge but blank eyes, sharp teeth – is just eerie enough to be potentially creepy. Though we still don't know Vanilla and Chris' mom very well, parents attacking their children is edgy for this book. Edkin continues to make the zombie parallel rather literal. By surrounding the house with the possessed people, forcing Chris and Cream to hide, he intentionally recalls “Night of the Living Dead.” This builds towards my favorite sequence in the comic. Chris and Cream hide in an old wardrobe, while their demonic mothers float outside. The two have to stifle their screams while the creepy faces pass outside, visible through the crack in the door.

That scene is honestly as spooky as “Sonic X” was probably allowed to get. Which might be why the book immediately retreats into goofiness afterwards. We get a lot of really stiff, childish dialogue between Chris and Cream. The boy grabs a golf club, as if that'll protect him, before rather improbably ending up with a sword and a shield. Afterwards, we get a blatantly comedic sequence of Cheese being possessed by a ghost. At that point, the ghosts' true form – goofy, floating blue spectres – is revealed. This is significantly less spooky then the floating, corpse-like possessed bodies. After this scene, “Hare-um Scare-um” never recovers, remaining in a strictly goofy mood.

Admittedly, I chuckled lightly at the reveal concerning why the ghosts are here. Turns out, Mrs. Thorndyke's tennis court is haunted. The exact specifics why are escaping me at the moment but King Boom Boo – the giant ghost boss from “Sonic Adventure 2” - has taken up residence under the concrete. The constant sound of balls bouncing awoke and disturbed him or something. That's a goofy, amusing gag but leads to a rather disappointing conclusion. The ghosts explain his motivation before some nonsense about a magical talisman – another carry over from the cartoon show – wraps the story up. Kind of a bummer.

Continuing from last month, we get a few pages devoted to Sonic and Tails being in jail. There's one or two funny joke here, about Sonic slowly going stir crazy inside the small cell. He even helps Eggman assemble refrigerators – another carry over from the cartoon, Jesus Christ – strictly because he's going slightly mad from being pent up. Eggman's delight at the hedgehogs' anxiety makes for a decent laugh. As does his robotic henchmen saying the boss probably shouldn't admit to liking prison so much.

Sadly, this subplot also gets a hasty, lame resolution. Grandpa Chuck makes some phone calls, absolving Sonic and Tails of all guilt. They are immediately freed and instantaneously join Chris and Cream on the island. By this point, the ghost business has already more-or-less resolved itself. Sonic only shows up again so he can race the magical plot device controlling the ghosts or something back to its rightful place and so on and so forth.

David Hutchinson does the artwork for this issue but it's a major step down from his usually reliable work. Sonic and Tails go horribly off-model in several panels. There's a lack of mood and atmosphere throughout the latter half of the issue. This is odd, considering that is usually Hutchinson's strong suit. Sometimes, the perspective and proportions are kind of weird. In a major no-no, he even uses a stock picture of grass as the background in one panel. Seemingly in a move swiped from Tim Smith 3, bright, primary colors are used as the backgrounds on several other pages. In fact, I thought this was Smith's work at first. I guess Hutchinson was really rushing it on this one. He's capable of better work.

After a really promising start, “Sonic X's” first Halloween story arc ends in a very disappointing way. One or two dynamite moment can't make up for a flimsy script, overly easy resolution and mediocre artwork. And, just think, we were this close to a “Sonic” version of “Evil Dead.” [6/10]

Sonic X: Issue 13

Sonic X: Issue 13
Publication date: October 2006

It's not often that Archie's suite of “Sonic the Hedgehog” books acknowledged the holidays that happened around their release schedule. The book featured a Christmas story all the way back in its first year but that's about it. Considering Mobius is an Earth millions of years in the future, it makes sense that Sonic and his pals would have no conception of human holidays. The “Sonic X” book, however, appears to be a different story. Issue 13 pays homage to objectively the best of all holidays, by featuring Sonic and his friends trick or treating on the cover. The corresponding story also contains some seasonally appropriate spooky elements. That's right, kiddies, this issue is something I thought I would never get: A Sonic the Hedgehog Halloween special.

Following last month's cliffhanger, where Tails emerge from an alien war machine, both Sonic and his two-tailed sidekick are taken into government custody. Captain Westwood, fearful of being punished for his own screw-up, claim both Mobians have been working with Dr. Eggman the whole time. As a result, both are tossed in prison. Meanwhile, Vanilla has expressed some concerns about whether Cream and Chris are safe going on adventures with Sonic. Hoping to ease her mind, Chris' mom takes the four of them on a trip to a private island the family owns. The vacation is far from peaceful though. As Chris and Cream discover, evil spirits have possessed everyone living there.

Before we get to the spookiness, I'll discuss the element of government intrigue in the first part of “Hare-um Scare-em.” The idea of the Earthly government turning against Sonic and Tails is an interesting one. On one hand, it strikes me as slightly unlikely. As one of the presidential aides point out, Sonic has helped save Earth countless times. I'm also not quite sure what G.U.N. targets Sonic for, since he took down the alien war machine that was attacking the city last time. Still, there's something suitably powerful about the image of the comic's heroes being detained, interrogated, and tossed in prison by those that employ them. (Though, yes, Sonic and Tails wearing stripy prison uniforms is a goofy sight.)

Moreover, “Hare-um Scare-um” has Captain Westwood graduating from minor annoyance to full-blown villain. We already known that Westwood is a coward more then happy to manipulate people to further his own goals. In this issue, he reveals a truly treacherous and scummy side. He sells Sonic and Tails up the river to protect his own ass and as petty revenge for previous humiliation. He's more then happy to stroke anti-alien sentiment in the president in order to rise to power. I know this is a ten year old kids' comic but, considering this was the same year our fucking president tried to ban an entire religion, the “Sonic X” president turning against “aliens” is a weirdly unnerving sight.

But let's put all of that stuff aside in order to discuss this comic book's most important element: The motherfucking zombies. Or, at least, zombie-like entities. Confirming my suspicion that he's a huge horror dork, writer Joe Edkin shoves a bunch of “Evil Dead” references into this issue. Upon arriving on the island, the Thorndykes find it eerily empty. As the ghost-possessed humans attack Chris and Cream, they moan out cries of “Join us!” You probably wouldn't expect a “Sonic” comic to feature ghostly humans, with creepy doll-like eyes, floating above the ground and attempting to attack a pair of children. “Hare-um Scare-um: Part 1” even concludes on a page portraying Vanilla and Chris' mom taken over by the evil spirits. That's an image that probably traumatized a copy of young readers. At least, I hope it did.

Of course, “Sonic X” is still a goofy kid's book. Things aren't allowed to get too creepy. When Chris and Cream are attacked by the zombie/ghosts inside an ice cream parlor, they fight off the creatures by flinging Rocky Road at them. That's a good way to undermine the spookiness of your threat, don't you think? That a pair of actual children, Chris and Cream, can easily outrun the possessed also makes them seem less dangerous. All of this is apparently a reference to a previous episode of the “Sonic X” cartoon, where Amy Rose was possessed by the ghosts from “Sonic Adventure 2.”  (As another random shout-out to the events of the show, apparently Emerl is still alive, living with the Thorndykes as Cream's personal bodyguard? I guess that's another thing that happened when we weren't looking.)

Through the government betrayals and ghostly zombies, an actual theme of sorts emerge from “Hare-um Scare-um: Part 1.” Vanilla and Chris' mom – who has a name, I guess – bound over their mutual concerns about their children's well-being. Thorndyke seems pretty confident that the aliens and such he's hanging around with are enough to keep Chris safe. Vanilla is still concerned about Cream, even though “Sonic Advance 2” portrayed the little bunny as a confident crime-fighter. Presumably the events of this story arc, featuring Chris and Cream fighting some monsters, will make both mother realized that their kids can handle themselves. I mean, that's where I assume Edkin is taking it.

It could probably be a little better balanced, and isn't as much fun as the “Gremlins” inspired story he previously wrote, but this is still one of my favorite “Sonic X” issues so far. This is, after all, a comic containing both Sonic the Hedgehog and some “Evil Dead”-style zombies. I mean, holy shit, how could I not love this? David Hutchinson provides some solid, even atmospheric artwork, furthering my theory that he's probably the best artist working on this book. Who knows if Edkin can provide a solid conclusion to this story but I sure did enjoy this first half. [8/10]

Sonic X: Issue 12

Sonic X: Issue 12
Publication Date: September 2006

I had to look at that cover a couple of times to figure out what the hell was going on. On first glance, it looked like Sonic and Knuckles were holding up a tipping over claw machine. And there's a laser eye in there or something shooting a heat ray at them? And I guess this is happening in front of a TV shop? It wasn't until I actually read this issue that I realized I was looking at the “War of the Worlds”-style tripod previously seen in Sonic X: Issue 7. That still doesn't explain the TV shop though. It's not the best designed cover is what I'm saying.

Three things are happening at once, around here in the “Sonic X”-verse. With Eggman in jail, Sonic is super bored and beings pestering his friends for something to do. Eventually, he agrees to help Sam Speed track down a pair of crazy street racers. Meanwhile, the government recruits Tails to help study the alien ship that Captain Westwood uncovered in the desert. Even more meanwhile, Dr. Eggman and his hench-bots sit in jail, slowly forming their next evil plan.

I continue to be frustrated with the relationship Archie's “Sonic X” has with the Saturday morning “Sonic X.” After the previous issue's adventure, the comic concluded with a word balloon indicating that Eggman was thrown in prison following some shenanigans on the moon. This was, I assume, all shit that happened on the cartoon show. So if you missed that tidbit, you'd be very confused as to why the bad guy was incarcerated in this issue. On top of this, Joe Edkin's script ominously references the villain planning some evil plot involving appliances while located in prison. This also appears to be a plot point from the TV show. It's obvious that the target readers for this comic book were watchers of the show. It's annoying to read but I bet it was worst to write.

Vague foreshadowing for events that won't actually happen in this comic book are my only real qualm with issue 12 of “Sonic X.” Instead, this one begins with an amusing idea: What happens when Sonic gets really bored? This comic hasn't played up the hedgehog as a source of comedy but this one happily draws attention to his ADHD tendency. He pesters Knuckles to go on an adventure but the echidna refuses to leave his post. He pesters Chris at his soccer game before being told that hedgehogs aren't allowed on the field. It's amusing to see Sonic, usually portrayed as a big hero, succumb to such childish impulses. Yet totally in-character. (Though, I was hoping this would lead into Sonic and Knuckles having an adventure, the echidna acting as the terse, by-the-book Murtaugh to Sonic's impulsive, wacky Martin Riggs.)

Eventually, Sonic's urge for adventure has him teaming up with Sam Speed. Despite all the fan dislike I've seen for Chris Thorndyke, I honestly think Sam Speed is a goofier, more out-of-place character. The wackiness Sonic and the race car driver – who is also a police contractor because, sure, go with it – is middling stuff. Sonic rescues an ugly-ass baby after a speeding car collides with the infant's baby carriage. That stuff is kind of silly in a way that isn't entertaining. The moments that follow, where Sonic tracks down the racing ruffians, is kind of funny though.

It is interesting that Tails gets a story point all to himself in this issue. Thus far, “Sonic X” has mostly played the fox as Sonic's sidekick, there to toss a ring his way when he needs it but not good for much else. So I do approve of Edkin bringing up Miles' intellect. I'm also a fan of the alien stuff that the writer previously introduced. These two plot elements collide in a slightly awkward fashion. Tails is really smart but apparently not smart enough to avoid getting trapped inside an alien tripod, which then goes on a rampage through the city. The action stuff that follows – Sonic defeating the tripod by bouncing its own heat ray inside its force field – is not super coherent. It does leave to the rather juicy reveal of Sonic's best friend popping out of an alien death machine. I wonder if the book will pick that plot point up in an interesting way or just let it dangle?

So now we reach the portion of my “Sonic X” review were I criticize Tim Smith 3's artwork. Listen, I don't dislike Smith's artwork. He grasps totally the designs for each of the characters, making him especially good at mimicking the look of the “Sonic X” cartoon. Yet the lack of detail he puts into his backgrounds and his sometimes odd facial expressions can't be ignored. Sonic and Tails' faces look pretty weird in a couple of panels. The humans get oddball facial expressions too, especially the random crook in the car or Chris' one female friend that keeps showing up.

So it's another middle-of-the-road issue of “Sonic X.” There's some stuff I like about this one – Bored Sonic, Smart Tails – and stuff I'm less crazy about – the Amazing Adventure of Sam Speed, the overly direct relationship with the cartoon. That kind of push and pull has become pretty standard for this series. Hopefully, Edkin and his artists can get their shit together enough to produce some more classics like issue 6 before this series wraps up its forty issue run. [6/10]

Sonic X: Issue 11

 
Sonic X: Issue 11
Publication Date: July 2006

As 2006 rolled on, “Sonic X” continued to celebrate the crystal anniversary of Sega's blue hedgehog. In “No Thanks for the Memories,” Sonic and his friends continue to run through a replica of the original game. We soon discover that this is a virtual reality program created by Eggman. Sonic's success in the game is somehow powering the mad doctor's latest scheme. Luckily, before the hedgehog and friends defeat the digital Eggman, Chris and Grandpa Chuck appear to save their asses.

“No Thanks for the Memories” remains a pretty fun homage to the original 16-bit “Sonic the Hedgehog.” Once again, I do get a certain thrill out of seeing Sonic run through the original stages. There's some fun moments delivered here. Such as Sonic and friends nearly getting blasted by the Cherry Bombs in the Star Light Zone. Or the hedgehog's unamused reaction to the underwater segments of the Labyrinth stage. (Clarifying a previous point made in issue 2, this version of Sonic can swim he just hates the water. No, I'm not renaming the blog “Hedgehogs Don't Like to Swim.”) Or his joy over grabbing an invincibility power-up and running through several traps.

The story remains a bit too comical to ever generate actual tension but it's nice that Joe Edkin acknowledge how fucking nerve wrecking the Labyrinth and Scrap Brain Zones can be. No, we don't get a simulation of the terrifying drowning music from the original game but Sonic does note how he's running out of breath after being underwater for so long. It's nice that Tails and Rouge are actively unnerved by all the flamethrowers and buzzsaws getting near their fur while approaching the final boss. It won't make you throw your controller across the room but it is a decent recreation of what it feels like to fight through those especially difficult stages.

The comic is so focused on action that there's not much room for character development. However, part two of “No Thanks for the Memories” does sneak in one or two cute moment. Most of them deal with Knuckles and Rouge's sexual tension. The bat makes reference to being as pretty as the rings or hot as the flames. After rescuing the bat at the end of the Spring Garden Zone, she proceeds to badger the echidna with romantic advances. After grabbing some rings with Knuckles, she asks if they're engaged now. He denies being interested. After some BurroBots attack Rouge, the echidna swoops in and wrecks their shit immediately. Which implies he is interested. Later, she presses up against him in a tight corridor and drops as direct a proposition that'll fly in a kid's book. The flirting provides humor but also a little bit of personality.

Eggman's schemes in “Sonic X” usually aren't very well thought out. His plan here isn't without its bumps. His hench-bots directly asks the mad doctor why he doesn't just murder his enemy, since they are right in his hands. He could've done that but the idea here is decent, as far as villainous plots go. Somehow, Sonic getting further in the virtual reality simulation powers Eggman's base, transforming it into a rocket that'll take him to the moon. In other words, the hedgehog succeeding at his apparent goal will actually help out the bad guy. That's clever! Though he probably should have still killed them afterwards....

Two aspects disappoint me about issue 11 of “Sonic X,” which is otherwise a decent little comic book. The role Chris Thorndyke and Grandpa Chuck play in the plot is kind of annoying. Essentially, the humans are here to rescue Sonic and his friends. Instead of the heroes making it out through their own devices, some supporting cast members run along and save their butts. It would be less of an issue if Grandpa Chuck didn't immediately find Eggman's lair and save the furries without any confrontation. The only bit of character development Thorndyke gets is a minor panel where he mopes about potentially being left alone again. As I said last time, this just makes him look whiny.

Secondly, what bums me out about this issue is that it's another lead-in to something on the cartoon show. After all this talk about Eggman attempting to destroy the Earth's moon, that story point is wrapped up in an info box at the book's end. See, on the cartoon show, Sonic and the gang stopped Eggman from achieving this goal, sticking him in jail. I understand the book's need to tie in with the TV show but I wish this was done in a more elegant manner. Just saying “Hey, watch the cartoon for more information about this” does not make for a very satisfied reading experience.

By the way, Tracy Yardley's artwork remains a valuable aspect of this two parter. I especially like the series of vertical panels showing Sonic's boss battle in the Labyrinth Zone. Despite some flaws, I did enjoy this little romp down memory lane. “Sonic X” has yet to top the manic fun of issue six but it's still developing into an okay book. [7/10]