Sonic Live!

 
Sonic Live!
Publication Date: November 1996

Sonic the Hedgehog fans of all stripes and types don’t agree on much. Fans of Archie’s “Sonic” series are no different. However, the comic’s fandom generally has reached a consensus on a few things. The lawsuit sucked. Tommy the Turtle was a mistake. “Sonic Live!” is the worst story ever to be associated with the character. As a kid, I thought the story was kind of weird but never outright dismissed it as terrible. Kids are open to all sorts of things, you know. When time came to revisit “Sonic Live!,” I found myself wondering. Will it be as bad as everyone says?

Well, it’s certainly not good. In “The Last Game Cartridge Hero,” Robotnik has seemingly gotten Sonic right where he wants him. Princess Sally has some personality-voiding device on her head and the other Freedom Fighters are imprisoned. The villain encircles Sonic with SWATBots, the machines zapping him all at once. Sonic the Hedgehog is dead… Or so it would appear. The hedgehog is teleported to a weird alternate universe between zones. Outside, Steve and Jessica play a “Sonic the Hedgehog” video game. Spotting the kids, Sonic yanks them through the screen and into his world. The kids provide enough of a distraction for Robotnik, leading to his defeat. Yet another portal opens, the hero, villain, and kids ending up in another strange world.

There have been some pretty great stories with meta devices, with fictional characters interacting with the “real world.” “The Last Game Cartridge Hero” is not, uh, one of these. The plot lurches from bizarre point to the next. Why does getting zapped by the robots transport Sonic to a place between his world and the human world? How can he just pull the kids through the screen? Why does another portal open, tossing Robotnik and Sonic into another alternate zone? In this zone, the game developers of the Sonic series (notably, none of whom are Japanese) have been kidnapped by an army of robotic Robotniks. Where the hell did these guys come from? What’s their final plan? Sonic then opens the portal back to Mobius by tapping the stage select code on a giant Genesis controller. After sending everyone back to their proper worlds, the plot point of the other Robotniks are forgotten.

 
The incredibly dumb, senseless story is a problem but I don’t think that’s why people hate “Sonic Live!” so much. Instead, the story’s nepotism is what offends readers. See, the real life human kids Sonic interact with aren’t just any kids. Kevin is directly based on Ken Penders’ son while Jessica is directly based on his niece. So how the fuck did Ken convince Archie to publish a comic book where his own son and niece interact with Sonic the Hedgehog? I can’t imagine the pitch but I can imagine the Christmas or birthday wish that birthed this awful idea. “The Last Game Cartridge Hero” would still be senseless if the kids were purely fictional characters. Penders passing a piece of self-insert fan fiction off as a real comic book pushes the story over the edge.

Further proving that “Last Game Cartridge Hero” was purely a misguided vanity project of Ken’s is that he also drew it. The artwork is only occasionally as grotesque as Pender’s worst pencils are. The kids frequently look weird. The robo-Robotniks that show up look awful. The backgrounds lack totally in detail. Naturally, Penders’ worst attribute is his total inability to convey any movement or speed when action scenes crop up. The final insult occurs early, when actual photographs of Kevin and Jessica are used in the book. This is not only weird, it’s off-putting. Seeing an animated Sonic interact with flesh-and-blood children is just… Creepy.

Though it gets the cover, “Last Game Cartridge Hero” is only one of three stories in “Sonic Live!” “The Substitute Freedom Fighters” is written by Rich Koslowski and drawn by Art Mawhinney. Running parallel to the main story, it involves Larry the Linx and Cyril the Eagle grabbing Sally’s recruits and going to rescue the main team. Digging up Larry and Cyril, two characters that had already been forgotten, was an odd decision. They’d be mostly forgotten again after this, for years. However, this is a straight-ahead action story and works all right in that regard. Seeing Dylan pick a lock or Hamlin smash into a squad of SWATBots at least shows the characters can be useful. Mawhinney’s artwork is, naturally, extremely good. There’s not much to this story but, compared to the atrocious title story, it comes off way better then it would’ve otherwise.

In the very back of the book is the second part of the “Knuckles Quest” story arc. The Ancient Walkers’ vague hints sends Knuckles to a strange building in an obscure part of the Great Forest. There, he battles a series of bizarre monsters. Knuckles notices that the creatures are from fairy tales and that they fade into nothingness upon defeat. He realizes a sorcerer is at work here. The hunch is right, as Merlin Prower is responsible for this. He sends Knuckles on the next step of his quest.

Scripting wise, there’s not much to “Knuckles Quest 2.” The echidna shows up, whoops some monsters, makes friends with the man responsible, and gets sent on the next section of his fetch quest. The story’s not even that exciting as an action piece, as Knux makes short work of each monster. One factor saves the story entirely. Patrick Spazinate provides pencil. And, holy shit, is this an awesome looking story. Spaz’ work is, as expected, incredibly detailed, stylish, dynamic, and action packed. He’s pretty much the perfect guy to draw a story about Knuckles punching out a series of monsters. For the record, he fights a critter that looks like a Cacodemon from “Doom,” leopards with fiery whips growing from their backs, an ogre, a Chinese dragon, and the Grim Reaper. I want this story painted on the side of my van.

Neither of the back-up stories are great but they are mildly entertaining. This stands in stark contrast to the title story. “Sonic Live!” is not so much bad as it is deeply miscalculated in every conceivable way. The story was a mistake. It never should’ve been written, much less illustrated and printed. Archie has buried the story, refusing to re-publish it. Who can blame them? [3/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 37

 
Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 37
Publication Date: May 1996

Throughout my reviews, I’ve mentioned the odd push-and-pull Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” series has, between its inspiration and the weird world the writers had created themselves. Some stories published in the book feel like they could only be published here. Others, meanwhile, feel like left-over SatAM scripts retrofitted for the comic book. Don’t take that last point as an insult, as SatAM was awesome. Issue 37, both its cover story and its back-up, feel like storyboards for an episode of the cartoon that never reached production.

First is “The Day Robotropolis Fell.” Sonic and Sally are in Robotropolis to meet with Uncle Chuck. From his underground lair, he informs them that a major earthquake is about to hit the city. Robotnik, Snively, and his army of SWATBots have left the area in a flying craft, in order to avoid the damage. Robotnik, meanwhile, has left the robotocized Mobians in the city, not concerned for their well being. While the dictator is out of the city, Uncle Chuck has a crazy plan to de-robotocize a number of the mechanical citizens. They have to accomplish all of this before the earthquake strikes, which happens sooner then anyone expected.

“The Day Robotropolis Fell” is a straight-forward, concisely constructed story. The in-coming earthquake provides a time limit on the story, ratcheting up the suspense. The natural disaster isn’t the only visceral threat the story provides. Uncle Chuck is trying to restore free will to a crowd of people under Robotnik’s control. This the kind of noble cause the Freedom Fighters should be working on all the time. When the earthquake strikes early in the middle of the story, it puts more pressure on our heroes. So now they have to survive the city crumbling around them, successfully de-robotocize a group of innocents, get them on a plane, and then Sonic and Sally have to get out of the city themselves. Yet the story progresses through these points in a clear way, never making the script seem over-stuffed or sloppy. This might honestly be one of the best constructed stories ever presented in the comic.

All of this is before the major events that happens mid-way through the story, which lends this issue its undeniably eye-catching cover. While Sonic and Sally make their escape, a structure falls on Sally, injuring her and knocking her unconscious. (Though, given the size of the rock and the distance it fell, it really should have killed her.) Now, the problem is personal for Sonic. His best friend and love interest is harmed, which just exacerbates the issue. He has to protect Sally and escape a crumbling city. The race through the earthquake affected Robotropolis leads to another dramatic decision, the hedgehog forced to think fast on his feet. Luckily, everyone makes it out okay. Yet the tension, stakes, and pressure in this story are excellent.

There aren’t too many problems with “The Day Robotropolis Fell.” Chuck’s plan to restore the Mobians – which involves a big ass explosion – doesn’t make much sense. There’s a totally unnecessary epilogue where Robotnik and Snively crash their ship on the way back into the city. It’s the only time this felt like an Angelo DeCesare story, whose work is normally much goofier. This is the best work DeCesare has done in a while and further evidence that, when he was really trying, he could produce some great stuff.

Well, there’s the issue of the artwork. Brian Thomas’ pencils were last seen in Issue 34, which was a fairly weak story not helped but Thomas’ off-model artwork. His work here is no better. It’s clear Thomas doesn’t have much aptitude for drawing these characters. He has a bad habit of drawing Sally’s arms way too long. He also makes her eyes huge and anime-esque, which is a style the book wouldn’t adopt fully for a few more years. His faces are okay and he has a decent sense of motion. Mostly though, Sonic and the rest seem somewhat undefined here. The artwork is a bit squishy and off-model. I really wish Art Mawhinney could’ve handled the pencils on this one. He would’ve killed it.

The back-up story turns the spotlight on Bunnie, who the comic too often overlooked. When I mentioned that Issue 37 feels like a SatAM episode, I was serious. I could’ve sworn that this story, “Bunnie’s Worst Nightmare,” appeared as a segment on the show. I can’t find any proof of this though, so I guess I'm remembering shit wrong? Anyway, the back-up story concerns Bunnie developing an odd rash on her organic skin. Soon, her mechanical components begin to spread throughout her body. Seemingly, the robotocization process has resumed, slowly turning her completely into a robot.

It’s a potentially powerful story. As the title indicates, Bunnie’s worst fear is loosing her humanity. She’s come awfully close to it happening before. The story is both written and drawn by Rich Koslowski, who hasn’t done much work on the book before or after this. His pencils are a bit awkward. His facial expression are overly broad and truthfully weird-looking. His backgrounds are too often just bright colors. He does seem to have a general better grasp on the character designs then Brian Thomas.

As for the story, it has Bunnie confronting her worst fear and choosing to sacrifice herself rather then endanger her friends. A little too much of the comic focuses on Rotor trying to reverse the condition, instead of focusing on Bunnie’s emotions. The appearance of Robotnik, via ghost-like hologram, is an odd moment. As the title foreshadows, the last page reveals the story to be a nightmare. On one level, the events are way too clear and sensical to be a dream. On the other hand, Bunnie’s predicament is definitely nightmarish. The story could’ve been a deep exploration of the character’s fears and insecurities. And it does do that, a little bit, but eight pages isn’t quite enough space to exploit the story to its full potential. Still, “Bunnie’s Worst Nightmare” isn’t bad.

It all equals out to a very good story, far more concerned with clear plotting and the character’s emotional states then this comic usually is. Truthfully, only the shaky artwork is what keeps this from being a truly stand-out issue. [8/10]