REVIEW: Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)

In retrospect, maybe fans had too many expectations riding on a “Sonic the Hedgehog” movie. When the initial trailer, with its disturbingly toothy version of Sonic, first debuted last year, the fandom – me included – sure had a lot of incredibly negative things to say. The tidal of press was so bad, that Paramount pushed back the release date, cracked the whips on the animation team (and subsequently putting the special effects firm out of business) and gave Sonic a more faithful redesign. When the new Sonic was revealed, the tide completely turned on the movie. Fans suddenly became extremely excited.

In fact, that one trailer turned seemingly the entire fandom around on the “Sonic” movie. People became genuinely excited about this movie. That wave of positive buzz continued as the film's Valentine Day release arrived. While mainstream film critics have been less receptive, “Sonic” fans have greeted the movie with open arms.

I, however, am ever the skeptic. They redesigned Sonic, sure, and he looked great. A design team, that included Tyson Hesse, made sure of that. But they didn't rewrite the entire movie. The adaptation still carried a totally lame kid's movie premise, of Sonic paling around on Earth with some boring asshole. The film still looked like it had more in common with “Alvin and the Chipmunks” or “The Smurfs” than the “Sonic” media I've been writing about here for years. Having seen the movie now, I can confirm that this was a fairly accurate assumption. “Sonic the Hedgehog” is a typical kid's movie in many ways. But, I'm also here to say as someone who cares way too much about this franchise, that's not necessarily a bad thing either.

From a plot perspective, the “Sonic” movie barely resembles any previous incarnation of the character's story. Born with super speed and electric powers, Sonic the Hedgehog had to flee his home world as a child after being pursued by other forces, via portal-generating magic rings. He's spent his whole life living on Earth, hanging out in the woods around the small town of Green Hills, Montana. He's developed an admiration for the town's mayor, Tom Wachowski. Tom and his wife are about to move to San Francisco. Sonic feels so lonely that he accidentally generates an electric pulse, attracting the attention of the government. They send mad scientist and drone specialist Dr. Ivo Robotnik to track down the responsible party. After Sonic's magic rings accidentally get transported to San Francisco, Sonic and Tom have to go on a road trip together. Robotnik, growing increasingly unhinged, pursues them.

Speaking as a man who has spent far too much of his life thinking about Sonic the Hedgehog, what was my initial reaction to the cinematic adaptation? “That was cute.” Indeed, “Sonic the Hedgehog,” both the character and the film, is reasonably adorable. And I'm not just talking about how he looks. This version of Sonic is very different from previous incarnations. He's essentially a great big kid. His super-speed is paired with the kind of energy only a small child riding a serious sugar high can compare to. He loves life, sometimes to the point of obliviousness when he's annoying people, and wants to experiences as much of it as possible. What keeps this boundless enthusiasm from being excessively irritating is the melancholy quality its paired with. This Sonic is also really lonely, which adds a new dimension to Sega's super-fast mascot. We are use to seeing Sonic run fast, fight bad guys, and deliver one-liners. Seeing him regard his own emptiness is something new and I applaud that.

It is true that loving a small town, staying put in one location for a long time, having few friends, and traveling via sports utility vehicle is pretty antithetical to Sonic as we know him. A big factor pasting over these differences is Ben Schwartz' vocal performance. Schwartz makes this Sonic way more likable than he probably would've been otherwise. His energetic delivery makes even Sonic's dumber lines – random references to Vin Diesel or ride-sharing – reasonably amusing. He gets a lot of credit for the movie's various laughs, his delivery turning wooden lines into solid chucklers. Schwartz is clearly having a blast in the part and that sheer joy goes a long way.

I'll admit, just seeing Sonic on a real movie screen – hearing the words “Robotnik” and “Power Rings” spoken by actual actors – was a truly gratifying feelings. But I'm not blind to the facts about Paramount's “Sonic the Hedgehog.” This is very much a typical kid's movie. It even starts with a “You're probably wondering how I got here” moment, a cliché so hoary I thought it was totally discredited. There's a deeply out-of-place fart joke. There's also some truly baffling product placement from Zillow, Olive Garden, and Lenscrafter. Most of the scenes focusing on Tom Wachowski, especially those concerning his job, could not be more perfunctory. James Marsden, almost reprising his role from “Hop,” gives a competent but totally passionless performance. The road trip plot structure, as others have pointed out, recalls several other films about CGI animals hanging out with normal people. This is, in many ways, exactly the kind of middle-brow studio product I was totally ready to consume when the “Sonic” movie was first announced.

However, “Sonic the Hedgehog” also has plenty of elements in its favor. Famously skinny Jim Carrey playing the typically egg-shaped Dr. Robotnik wasn't exactly spot-on casting. Carrey, as you'd expect, brings a typical level of rubber-faced manic energy to the part. That, however, has value too. Watching Carrey mug it up is fun. Such as an impromptu dance number in his laboratory or the various over-sized reactions the film's outrageous scenario provides him with. Yet the movie doesn't stray as far from canon Robotnik as I expected. This Ivo still prides himself on his intelligence and sees the rest of the world as inferior to him. Sonic and Tom challenging his superiority infuriates him. (The movie even gives him a groveling sidekick, in the tradition of Snively and Grimer, played by the amusingly deadpan Lee Majdoub.) The movie adds back story about being an orphan and being bullied in high school, which works pretty well. Carrey's Robotnik is different but, ya know, I do like it.

From early on, I declared that an ideal “Sonic” would probably have to be animated. It seems to me that the film's producers kind of agree. Director Jeff Fowler's only previous credit is an animated short film called “Gopher Broke.” One of the film's best moments is entirely animated. That would be a lengthy prologue, set on Sonic's home world. (The movie doesn't use the word “Mobius” but what else are we suppose to call it?) Here, we meet Baby Sonic – a clear attempt to cash in the sudden fad of baby characters – and his guardian, a giant owl named Longclaw. (Apparently inspired by a minor character from the obscure British “Sonic” kid's books.) The sequence lovingly recreates the checkered landscapes and giant loops of the original Genesis game. In a move that truly delighted me, there's even an appearance from a clan of tribal echidnas. If the entire movie had been like this, I'm certain I would have loved it even more. For the record, Fowler's direction adds some flair to the action sequences but is generally pretty flat.

The unexpected appearance of the Knuckles Clan is not the only shout-out to the deeper “Sonic” lore contained within the film. In fact, the movie includes a number of references I was happy to catch. Sonic says he's gotta go fast, refers to himself as the Blue Blur and his archenemy as Eggman, and declares something no good. He strikes poses right out of the “Sonic Adventure” disc art. Sanic is glimpsed. The famous rings sound effect chimes. Sonic eats a chili dog. The word “Badnik” appears on-screen. A familiar melody is heard in the score. Sonic wins the day by launching himself repeatedly at Robotnik's hovercraft, which vaguely resembles the Egg-Mobile. Some of these possible homages are so deep, they might very well be coincidental. Yes, Movie Sonic has a race car bed. Is this an intentional nod to the Archie comics series? If so, did someone involved in this film read my tongue-in-cheek essay about said vehicle-shaped sleeping surface? That's a possibility I can't even begin to entertain, least I die of absolute joy.

It is pretty clear that 2020's “Sonic the Hedgehog” was made by fans of the franchise. Yet the film has an uncertain relationship with one element of the series, that even Sega itself tends to forget about. Sonic the Hedgehog, as we all know, is a socialist hero and an icon of environmental activism. As you probably guessed, this goofy kid's movie doesn't really address either issue. (I'm not the only person to notice this.) If you squint, you can kind of see it. Yes, Movie Sonic is on the run from the government. Robotnik's drones were apparent active in the Middle East, which raises a number of hilariously dark implications. Yet the co-lead is also a cop operating out of a speed trap, so I don't think I can credit the film for a proper anti-authoritarian subtext. Maybe in the sequel.

Yes, a sequel. In this age of franchise over-saturation, every studio flick wants to spawn a series and most of them are hopelessly overeager in that regard. As I expected from the first trailer, “Sonic” basically acts as the origin story for the version of Sonic and Robotnik we are most familiar with. The latter, especially, undergoes a drastic transformation before the end. Without getting too spoiler-y, another beloved “Sonic” cast member appears in a mid-credits teaser. I have lots of thoughts about a potential sequel but I'll just say this: I hope a follow-up – which seems totally plausible, considering the movie's surprise box office success – shows us more of Sonic's world and less of Earth. If a sequel follows that lead, I'm absolutely certain it'll be superior to this first film.

Which, I want to reiterate, I enjoyed immensely. I've now seen it twice and I had a great time on both viewings. Is this the “Sonic” movie I would have written? Absolutely not. Does it have the potential to launch a “Sonic” film franchise I could love? Yeah, I think it might. Would I like the movie as much as I do if it was about some other nostalgic property? Probably not! I'm totally happy to admit that pandering to middle-age nerds by filling a typical studio product with occasional call-backs to obscure bullshit appeased me. By showing a clear love of its source material and being fairly fleet-feeted and entertaining, “Sonic” manages to be one of the better video game movies. It might still rank as mediocre by most barometers, which mainstream critics have more-than-recognized, but I would be lying if I said this film filled me with anything but absolute joy. [7/10]

A Complete History of Sonic the Hedgehog's Race Car Bed

With “Worlds Collide” behind us, many changes will be coming to Hedgehogs Can't Swim's reviews. The reboot of Archie's “Sonic the Hedgehog” comic book universe brought with it many causalities. Some lovable, forgettable, and regrettable characters have now been cast into the void forever. Yet, among the lore and cast left forever by the wayside, there is one that I will especially miss.

I'm talking about, of course, Sonic the Hedgehog's race car bed. So, now that this beloved relic is gone forever, I think it's time to look back on its complete history. Below, I will track every appearance the bed has made in the comic book.

Sonic's race car bed would first appear in issue 51's cover story, “Reality Bytes.” As the story deals with Sonic having a bizarre nightmare, it's fitting it should take us inside his bedroom. His race car bed, which is absolutely befitting someone who has led a guerrilla war against a tyrannical dictator for several years, is practically a main character in this story. It appears at the story's midpoint, when the nightmare begins, and at it's end, when Sonic is officially awoken. The race car is red and its sheets are green. The bed's appearance were enthusiastically received by readers and it would immediately become a fan favorite.

It would be over two years before the bed would appear again, enough time passing that some fans feared it was gone forever. It appears in the second half of the issue's cover story, “Thicker Than Water.” The race car bed shows up in one panel, inside Sonic's hut. It's been recolored gray by mistake. We see Tails sitting on the edge of the bed, playing with a baseball.

Here, the race car bed becomes part of the “typical teenage boy” appearance that makes up Sonic's room. We also see a baseball mitt, a dumbbell, a hockey stick, several tossed around comic books, and a massive stereo system that towers over both characters. Also, it appears that Sonic keeps a poster of himself on his bedroom wall.

Race car bed fanatics would not have to wait as long to see their beloved icon again. It would only take four months before the bed was glimpsed once more. Inside issue 94's “New Order,” we see Sonic reclining on the bed – correctly colored red this time – on the second page. It is here that we see the bed's trademark “number 5” symbol on its sides for the first time. The bed appears again later in the issue, as Sonic and Tails have a sleepover. He's then awoken the next morning, Sonic being shaken out of his famous race car bed.

In this issue, we see the race car bed as a center of Sonic and his friend's life. Earlier, the bed is there in the room as Rotor and Bunnie play a video game, as Tails chats with his friend late into the night. Clearly, this very grown-up and serious race car bed represents not just Sonic and his friends but everything they stand for.

During this period in the comic's history, Sonic and his friends were briefly attending high school. So it's not surprising that, during this time when Sonic's youth was being emphasized, that the bed would continue to appear. It shows up in the very next issue, in the story “Enemy Mine.”

After a frustrating day at school, Sonic marches home and flops down on his bed. In this issue, we can see that his sheets are decorated with yellow polka-dots. Once again, we see the bed as but one symbol of Sonic's adolescence. The basketball hoop, a baseball mitt, comic books, and empty soda cans all reappear alongside the bed, all signifiers of Sonic's status as an adventurer forced into a boyish status.

The race car bed would show up again at the very end of issue 96. In this scene, the bed becomes especially important. While Sonic leans against the bed and reads a “Transformer” comic book, he decides to dress up as a superhero to help the cause. Here, there is a deliberate contrast between Sonic's youth and his need to be an underground hero. Nelson Ribeiro applies his unique artistic skills to the race car bed, depicting it in an almost expressionistic manner.

The race car bed would appears again only three issues later. It shows up briefly on the very first page of issue 99's “Blow by Blow,” glimpsed in the first ray of dawn's light as Sonic and Tails sneak back into his bedroom. It reappears again on page five of the comic. Here, we get a good look at the yellow sheets and the number on the side of the car. This issue also adds another item to the litany of youthful symbols in Sonic's bedroom. A surfboard now joins the other signaling teenage rebellion and playfulness.

Eleven issues would pass before the race car bed made its eighth appearance. It shows up on the very first page of issue 110's “Station Square Attacks!” After Uncle Chuck awakens Sonic and Tails in the middle of the night, we see the bed in two panels. It looks like Sonic has changed his sheets, as they are now blue with white polka dots. Ron Lim brings a particular surreal edge to the bed's depiction, as it shrinks and shifts sizes in the second panel. His bedroom is shown more minimalistically, with only a lamp in the room. Sadly, that's the bed's only appearance in this book.

Ron Lim would draw the bed once again in issue 114's “Twice Told Tails.” After Tails awakens from a strange dream, we get a clear shot of Sonic's bed, as the hedgehog is startled awake by his friend's yelling. The blueish-green sheets remain, the overhead basketball hoop is back, and Lim draws the bed as a shoe-like shape. This is surely a reference to Sonic's famous footwear, which is also white and red. Both of these things, you see, go fast.

Race car bed fans would have to wait until June of 2003 to see their beloved receptacle again, in issue 124's “Sonic Adventure 2.5: Alpha.” As Sonic awakens in the morning, we see him yawn and stretch in the bed. Steven Butler draws the bed looking more like a F-1 race car, as opposed to the usual stockcar racer it's depicted as. Now, the car's markings and numbers are depicted in yellow, as opposed to white. Sonic has once again changed his sheets, as we now see lime green sheets with yellow spots. Butler also depicts the other juvenilia of Sonic's boyhood, such as the basketball, hoop, surfboard, and posters.

Ten issues later, following Sonic's return from outer space, we would see the race car bed again. Sonic lays on the bed and takes a nap. We continue to see the bed, as Sonic has a conversation with his dog Muttski, whom he can now communicate with thanks to the alien translator he gained in space. Jon Gray depicts the bed as a more simplistic red shape, almost unrecognizable as a race car. Sonic's sheets are now green with a plaid pattern. His bedroom looks more mature at first, as Gray draws attention to Sonic's lamp and clock radio. A second look at an earlier panel reveals a “Nights into Dreams” comic book, a stuffed animal, and several toys, showing that Sonic is still a child.

This last good look could have been a send-off for the beloved accessory. In issue 136, two issues later, we would see Sonic's bedroom again. This time, the race car bed is gone. Now, Sonic seems to be sleeping in a regular, four-post bed. Has Sonic cast off the childish excesses of youth by now? Later in the comic, we can see a series of sports trophies hidden on a shelf in the background, showing that Sonic has not totally let go of his childhood achievements.

Race car bed fans should not have despaired though. After a long absence, the bed would reappear in issue 167's back-up story, “Hedgehog Day.” The bed is practically a featured player in this story, as it's seen every time Sonic awakens within the story's time loop. Dave Manak strays from the bed's usual depiction, making it white and red in seemingly a deliberate homage to “Speed Racer's” Mach 5. Manak also brings back the clutter of Sonic's skittish young energy. We see a baseball bat, a surf board, a soccer ball, basketball hoop, and a fanciful alarm clock. This story also provides a peek at Sonic's adjoining bathroom, further humanizing the hero.

After the destruction of Knothole and the Freedom Fighters moving into the nanite created New Mobotropolis, fans speculated that the race car bed was also destroyed. However, Ian Flynn took pains to show that Sonic had Nicole recreate his beloved race car bed in his new home. We see the bed in issue 178's “House of Cards: Part One,” when Nicole awakens Sonic in the middle of the night. At this point, the bed has clearly evolved. This new race car bed now resembles a modern sports car, even including a back fin and a more rounded front with wide headlights. Sonic has seemingly cleaned up his room as his hero-hood has grown. Now, we only see a pull cord lamp and a vintage-style alarm clock in his room. He sleeps now with a simple green blanket atop the bed, presumably meant as a homage to the bed's very first appearance years earlier.

While race car bed fans were excited by its reappearance, this would turn out to be the bed's penultimate issue. The race car bed would make its final appearance in issue 185's “Mogul Rising, Part One: Needful Things.” However, the bed's appearance here is a significant one. Bedrooms play a key role throughout the story, as we see Tails', Mina's, and Mighty's beds. Earlier in the story, Sonic revisits the former site of Knothole. This makes the race car bed's reappearance a poignant one, as Sonic is nostalgic for the secret base were he spent most of his adolescence.

Matt Herms draws the bed in this appearance and it varies greatly from its previous showing. Herms removes the fin, restores the stockcar outline, and adds a yellow hood and a yellow racing stripe at the car's back. Sonic is not using a fitted sheet this time but simply sleeping under a blue blanket. Herms' approach to Sonic's bedroom is less detailed. We see a poster on the wall but it appears to be blank.

Ian Flynn would never depict Sonic's bedroom, much less his bed, after this issue. After the reboot in issue 252, the details of Sonic's home life would completely change, presumably removing the race car bed from canon. Fans were furious about this difference, of course, and demanded the race car bed be returned to its proper location: Sonic's bedroom and our hearts.

Since the cancellation of Archie's comic, these same fans have petitioned IDW to show us Sonic's bedroom and show him sleeping in a child's race car bed, as God and Yuji Naka intended. These pleas have thus far fallen on deaf ears but, if being a fan of Sonic's race car bed for so many years has taught me anything, it's to never give up. So rest your head in your own race car bed tonight and remember, even if it's gone, each of us can never be stopped from going fast even in our dreams.

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 185

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 185
Publication Date: February 2008

It seems increasingly likely one aspect of Ian Flynn's legendary run on Archie's “Sonic the Hedgehog” will become notorious. He'll be remembered for story arcs that just go on and on, sometimes for years. This is a bit of a shame since, in the earlier days of his run, Flynn was really good at pacing. His event storylines usually only lasted four issues. He often spaced shorter stories between the longer ones. Issue 185 would begin a short, two-parter called “Mogul Rising,” attempting to reestablish Mammoth Mogul as part of Sonic's rogue gallery.

This story is subtitled “Needful Things” and, sadly, doesn't feature Max Von Sydow as a satanic antiques dealer. Anyway, the comic begins with Mina and Ash arriving in New Mobotropolis. After getting a look at the remains of Knothole, something that shocks Mina, Sonic shows her the new city. Next, Mammoth Mogul calls the hedgehog to visit him in prison. He issues a vague threat, which Sonic laughs off. That night, Mogul enacts his latest villainous scheme. He activates latent curses he's marked three characters with in the past, turning them into his sleeper agents. Soon, Mina, Tails, and Mighty the Armadillo are descending on Sonic.

Roughly a hundred times, I've referenced how Flynn devoted himself to clean up the book's mess and reestablish character's personalities. Amazingly, one somewhat contentious character didn't need that treatment. Mina the Mongoose, once an extremely controversial character, had actually found her place in Sonic's world before Flynn's soft reboot. As yet another love interest for Sonic, she was frequently aggravating. As the biggest pop star on Mobius, she suddenly found a purpose. Mina has been on her world tour for a while but this issue brings her back home. The panels devoted to her shock and confusion over Knothole's ruins are quietly touching.

Still, Ian does manage to fix one problem with Mina. One of the silliest aspects of the character Karl Bollers cooked up, in a desperate attempt to give her and Sonic something in common, was giving Mina super speed. It never made much sense and, after music became her life, her quick running was quickly forgotten. Flynn, meanwhile, cooks up a reason while this silly plot point existed. A wizard did it. Mammoth Mogul placed his mark on Mina during the Second Fall of Mobius, gifting her with superspeed so she'd get close to Sonic. It's a little thing but I appreciate it.

We have gotten a peak into the past of the Chaotix before, albeit mostly devoted to how they met Knuckles. While Mogul is activating his latent control over Mighty, we get a little peak into the Chaotix's history. Turns out, Mighty is the child of two professional thieves. He also has a little sister, a plot point that Flynn would eventually get around to expounding on, sort of. His parents were eventually incarcerated, separating Mighty from his family. This explains a lot about his character. His bond to his friends, his need to help people, the balance between his great strength and kind heart. (Mighty's strength was also a gift from Mogul, an interesting choice.)

In the past, Mammoth Mogul's evil schemes have boiled down to saying vague things, making awkward attempts at attacks, and getting his ass kicked. In “Needful Things,” the villain actually cooks up a decent plot. Yes, revealing that the elephant wizard had some sort of magical hold over three of Sonic's friends for years is slightly sloppy. But at least this scheme leaves the villain with some leverage. He's forcing Sonic to fight his own friends, forcing the hedgehog to make some difficult decisions. It shows that, under Flynn's pen, Mogul would rise to a higher level of bad-guy-ery.

Back in issue 170, Mike Gallagher dropped a goofy back-up story about Sonic fighting some long forgotten Badniks. In this issue, for some reason, Gallagher trots out a sequel. In the deeply awkwardly entitled “The Misfit Badniks' Salty, Soggy Sequel,” the Misfit Badniks have found a way to double Pseudo-Sonic to King Kongian proportions. They hope to use this to get their revenge on Sonic. Instead, the Forty Fathom Freedom Fighters swim and dismantle their scheme extremely quickly.

This is a Mike Gallagher joint revolving around the Forty Fathom Freedom Fighters. Archie “Sonic” readers with long memories will know what this means: A shit ton of puns. Get a load of this crap: A robot says “Holy 10W-40!” “Drop in for a bite,” said while someone gets bitten. “Let me show you how you conduct yourself,” said during an electrocution sequence. “Ouch! Rabbit punch!,” which is said after someone is punched by a rabbit. “You must be in shell shock,” said to a creature with a shell. In-between this shit, Gallagher sneaks in references to Bottlenose being a ninja and the secret plankton spy network present in the ocean. Don't act like you forgot about this. Mike Gallagher sure as fuck didn't.

However, “Soggy Sequel” at least ensures we won't see the Misfits Badniks again. After a brief fight, Fluke the Whale floats in, crushes Pseudo-Sonic and the rest of the Badniks. To prove to the reader that these characters are super duper dead, Fluke then folds their remains into a cube. Yes, all that talk about Pseudo-Sonic being a giant now amounts to exactly nothing. While I do have some affection for the comic's earlier, goofier days, I won't be missing these guys. Gallagher being who he is, he still ends this story by asking the reader if they want to see the Forty Fathom Freedom Fighters again. Surely, this was a story that had been sitting on a shelf somewhere, for years, right?

So anyway, the cover story is solid. There's some good story telling there, expanding on the mythology in meaningful ways. It certainly made me want to pick up the next month's issue, though I probably would've done that anyway. Hey, the back-up story is totally useless but, eh, sometimes those are the brakes. [7/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 178

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 178
Publication Date: August 2007

For the last few issues, Ian Flynn has been planning something concerning Tails' parents. A late introduction into the already swelling supporting cast of Archie's “Sonic the Hedgehog” series, Amadeus and Rosemary Prower haven't done very much since they were introduced back in “Sonic Kids 2.” For years, it was just assumed that they were dead. Turns out, they were just on an alien planet for some fucking reason. Since bringing them back to Mobius, Flynn has been hinting that Amadeus was up to something. In this issue, we find out what.

It turns out the Prowers are no fans of the monarchy. They rally a protest in the newly created streets of New Mobotropolis, demanding that the new city gets a new form of government. One that speaks for the people, instead of some royal family that takes advice from a talking pool of gold in their basement. Amadeus Prower gets tossed in jail for this protest, seen as an act of treason. Sonic comes to the monarchy's defense. Tails comes to defend his parents. It's a disagreement the two life long pals won't be able to hug out.

The revolt in Knothole has been brewing for quite some time. I like this idea for a few reasons. First off, it gives Amadeus Prower a pretty important character turn without turning him into a bad guy. In fact, his objection to the Acorn royal family are entirely reasonable. He points out that the last two generations of kings allowed Robotnik to come to power and then allowed him to come to power a second time. That there's been a constant state of strife in Mobius all throughout Max and Elias' reigns. These are valid complaints. This also addresses an issue I've had with the series for years. Which is why would a technologically advanced civilization such as this live under a monarchy anyway? Maybe it is time to try something new.

Ian successfully prevents Amadeus from looking like an asshole. He even maintains Elias' integrity, as the young king is heavily conflicted about what to do in this scenario. Sadly, Max Acorn gets thrown under the bus instead. In the past, other writers have written the now retired King as an asshole for no reason. So I guess there's precedence for it. When Elias suggest that maybe there's some validity to what Amadeus is saying, Max is incensed. He believes Prower is a traitor, that should be locked up and punished. That the Acorns have ruled for hundreds of years and should rule for a hundred more. It just makes the king come off as petty, terrified of loosing what meager power he has left.

Of course, the civil unrest in New Mobotropolis is just the reasoning for the story's more important conflict. “House of Cards” would prove to be Archie “Sonic's” way less stupid “Civil War.” Sonic and Tails are going to fight. Two of its greatest heroes, originally best friends, would suddenly become enemies. Instead of cooking up some stupid heroes' registration act, the conflict is entirely personal. Sonic is fighting for the order he's worked so hard to maintain. Tails is fighting for his family, which he doesn't want to loose again. Flynn has been hinting at some tension between the hedgehog and the fox for a while now. Ever since his mom and dad came back, Tails has realized he doesn't need Sonic to be his hero anymore. Let's face it: Tails has grown a lot over the years. And Sonic still treats him like a sidekick.

As far as a reason for two good guys to fight, it's about as organic as it gets. Still, for a long time “Sonic” reader, seeing Sonic and Tails trade blows is kind of shocking. I'm not even the biggest fan of Sonic and Tails' bromance. Yet the two-tailed fox sneaking up behind his best friend, his hero, and punching him in the head? Shit. That's pretty severe! My favorite version of Tails has always been the angry one, when he's a little resentful of his placement on the team. So I find myself enjoying this turn of events quite a bit. Any friendship as long lived as Sonic and Tails is going to have its growing pains.

If the first part of “House of Cards” has any problem, it's that the dialogue balloons are a little oppressive. “Sonic,” being about a blue hedgehog that runs fast and fights robots, is not usually a wordy book. Yet “House of Cards” is very focused on dialogue. Sonic and Nicole talk. Sonic and Elias talk. Elias and Max talk. In an especially long winded series of exchanges, Amadeus and Elias talk. (Actually, what Amadeus does is more like talking at the King.) I certainly have no issue at all with character based stories. I usually like them a lot. But this one is a little heavy on the orating.

Even in an issue as plot heavy as this, Ian sneaks in some smaller character moments. First off, Knuckles is leaving town for a while. Mostly, this sets up the upcoming arc where the echidna will become Enerjak and resolve the conflict on the Floating Island. Still, the scenes of Julie-Su and the Chaotix bidding Knuckles farewell are awfully cute. Knuckles insists Julie-Su stays, for her safety. While I'm not sure my Julie-Su would ever settle for that, her reluctance is sold well.

The character that gets the most development in this one is Nicole. It turns out she is still getting used to having a physical body. In a very cute series of panels that a book like this normally wouldn't make room for, Nicole awkwardly barges into Sonic's bedroom, waking him up. How the hedgehog handles this – surprise but then sleepy calm – is a little moment that really impresses me. As is Nicole sheepishly admitting she's still getting used to things.

Tracy Yardley makes great use of shadow in this, adding a moodier edge to a story about alliances being tested. The page devoted to Tails and Rosemary sneaking into the detention center is fantastically illustrated and inked. Part one of “House of Cards” isn't a perfect story, as there are some minor flaws. Still, this is a “Sonic” story that is ambitious in an all together different way than Ian's last few issues. It's all about character, all about emotion, and it all flows so naturally too. It's another very good edition to a really awesome year of stories. [8/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 167

 
Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 167
Publication Date: October 2006

Before I get on with my review of “Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 167,” which contains the second half of Ian Flynn's first stab at the “Mobius: 25 Years Later” setting, let's talk about the two most recent covers. Yes, for some reason, Archie invited Sanford Greene back to do some covers. Greene would mostly be a transitional artist between Patrick Spaziante being the main cover artist and Tracy Yardley taking over cover duties for the most part. While Greene's covers for issues 166 and 167 are slightly better then his past works, his take on the Sonic cast still look a little off. On this cover, for example, everyone's head is a little too big and the perspective is kind of weird. I'm pretty sure Greene would only do one more cover for the series but don't quote me on that.

The main story in issue 167 is subtitled “Tempus Aetenrus,” because Flynn loves his Latin apparently. Anyway, after being cornered by Knuckles' forces last time, Sonic, Tails, and Lara-Su are tossed in the dungeon with Rotor. Luckily, it's just a trick, as Knuckles reveals himself as a double agent for the resistance. Now free, Sonic marches into the throne room, ready to confront King Shadow head on. Yet the middle-aged Sonic isn't as much of a match for Shadow as he was in the past, forcing an unexpected hero to emerge.

Even though they are currently having adventures in the main timeline, I still get a rush out of seeing Sonic and the gang go on an adventure together. The opening scene of issue 167 is devoted to Sonic, Tails, and Lara-Su cracking jokes in the dungeon. That sets the light tone of adventure and fun that characterizes the entire issue. The image of Sonic and Knuckles running through the hallways, sniping jokes at each other, is something that always amuses me. The straight-ahead plot flow of this story – heroes attempt to overthrow evil king – makes for a smooth, quick moving script.

There's really only one major action beat in this issue, though it comprises the entire second half of the script. However, the story features another great bit of action illustration from Tracy Yardley. Sonic races forward and slugs Shadow in the face. He shrugs this blow off. Afterwards, he throws his cape off. Before the cape hits the ground, which is brilliantly illustrated in a series of isolated panels, Shadow has beaten Sonic into submission. Not only does this emphasize the raw power Shadow has, his often boasted abilities as the Ultimate Lifeform getting an actual display, it also gives Sonic another far-too-rare vulnerable moment.
The ending to “Tempus Aetenrus” comes off as slightly sudden. After Sonic takes the fall, Lara-Su leaps into the battle. After trading blows with Shadow for a minute, she utilizes Chaos Control to freeze the black hedgehog in his place. It's a slightly underwhelming conclusion, as King Shadow is defeated far too easily after so much build-up. Though Lara-Su is clearly powerful, it's also somewhat jarring to see a teenage girl opposing such an unstoppable character with so little effort. Still, it is nice to see Knuckles' daughter get a victorious moment to herself.

After all the action theatrics are wrapped up, Sonic and Sally take the throne once more. This leads to easily the most touching moment in the issue. The hedgehog and the chipmunk sit together in a private area. Slowly, they draw closer. After so many years apart, their reunion is awkward. Yet, as their hearts take the lead, they pull each other into for a kiss. (Which Yardley sweetly draws attention to, framing the kiss in a heart-shaped panel.) This sequence features some of Flynn's best dialogue thus far. I especially like Sonic's sheepish admission that he wants kids.
The back-up story is another contribution from Romy Chacon, who was less retired than I guess. In “Hedgehog Day,” Sonic is awoken by his alarm clock. After Scourge and CroctoBot crashed his previous birthday party, Knothole is throwing him a second one. And he's late. While rushing to get to the party, he trips and breaks his leg. Sonic awakens the next to the exact same situation. The day is seemingly repeating itself until Sonic finally makes it to the party without incidence.

Yes, this is a take-off on “Groundhogs Day.” No, it's not an especially good one. Unlike Harold Ramis' famous film, Sonic isn't trapped in repeating loop because he needs to become a better person. He's trapped, for reasons that are never explained, to facilitate the moral of setting your alarm clock for the right time. Chacon's script features mostly lame jokes. Such as Mina's latest hit being entitled “Soldier Boy” - presumably she implores us to crank dat? - or each day concluding with Sonic in the hospital, a new citizen threatening to file a frivolous lawsuit against him. The most outrageous of these scenarios is, after Sonic decides he's just not leaving his house, when a group of paparazzi climb onto his roof and fall inside, all of them ending up in the hospital together.

Drawing “Hedgehog Day” is Dave Manak, one of the series' earliest artists returning after a long hiatus. I'll give Manak this much. He's finally made some attempt to update his style. Sonic and the gang are portrayed with the longer torsos and more anime-esque facial designs that they gained in the franchise's later years. Otherwise, Manak's artwork is as angular and cartoony as always. Panels devoted to Sonic spitting out his toothpaste are unintentionally grotesque. The nosy reporters have instantly forgettable designs. Sonic's hut looks entirely different from previous portrayals. (So does the Race Car Bed, which I guess didn't get thrown out after all.) It's about the same level of quality Manak has always contributed: Decent, but still kind of ugly.

A lame back-up story can't take away from the quality of the cover story, which is quite good. Flynn continues to redefine the comic, cranking out solid action yarns that respect the characters and their universe. Though intended to be the final “25 Years Later” story, this arc would prove so popular that Flynn would give the setting more chances in the future, devoting a “Sonic Universe” arc to far flung future versions of Sonic and the gang. In other words: In two comics, Flynn manage to entice fans more then Ken Penders' did over an entire year. Go figure. [7/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 134

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 134
Publication Date: March 2004

There are a number of infamous issues throughout the long run of Archie's “Sonic” book. Some are notorious for their lack of quality, like “Sonic Live!” or “Naugus Game.” Others are infamous for the events they depict, like Sally's apparent death in issue 47. Or this one, for example. Issue 134 contains what some fans have taken to calling “The Smack Heard Around the Fandom.” As a die hard Sonic/Sally shipper, it shouldn't come as a shock that I fucking hate that widely loathed event. Is the story around this controversial decision worth salvaging?

The epilogue of “Home” - subtitled “Say You Will,” because what Sonic book is complete without a Foreigner reference? - is exactly that. This issue is directly concerned with the fall-out of the “Home” arc. Sonic spends some time around Knothole, reconnecting with old friends and discovering some of the events that have changed.

“Say You Will” could've had a similar function as the first part of “Home,” an emotional story devoted to Sonic reconnecting with his friends and love ones. And technically it is, though in the most awkward way possible. For most of the page count, the hedgehog regurgitates things the readers already know. Such as explaining to his parents why Jules is still a robot while all the other Robians are now organic. Or telling Tails that his parents still live, though on the other end of the universe. (Of course, the answer to both of these questions is the rather uninspiring “aliens.”)

“Say You Will” does attempt to explain some of the changes that have occurred while Sonic was away for a year. Bunnie and Antoine have naturally drifted apart, the war with Eggman apparently changing the coyote. That's not a very satisfying explanation but, okay, sure. It'll do until the actual, far more insipid answer is revealed. As for the new changes: Dr. Quack is now sporting an eye patch, after stepping on a landmine. Mina now has a boyfriend, her asshole manager Ash, despite still singing songs about Sonic. Knuckles explains why the hell he's hanging out around Knothole. Turns out Robotnik took over Angel Island a while ago.

It's all fine and good, I guess, but not the thing anyone remembers about this issue. In “Say You Will,” Karl Bollers finalizes the despicable character derailing Sally Acorn has suffered for a while. On Mina's stage, in front of all of Knothole, Sally gives Sonic an ultimatum. Either retire from field duty and stay with her in wedded bliss or say goodbye to their relationship. Sonic refuses to quit fighting Robotnik, causing the Princess to smack him in the face and terminate their engagement.

This is absolute bullshit, you guys. Complete bullocks. Total fucking horse dookie. Why the fuck would Karl break up Sonic and Sally after finally letting the two officially become a couple just a few issues ago? And, if he had to break them up, why do it in such a stupid fashion? It could've been more natural. Maybe after thinking he was dead for a year, Sally is afraid of loosing Sonic again. Instead, it makes the Princess seem clingy and manipulative. Sonic so easily making this decision also makes him look like a callous asshole.

And it's so hard to believe. Once upon a time, Sonic and Sally would fight side-by-side on the battle field. The two risking their lives wasn't a problem back then! What the fuck happened, aside from bad writing? The Dork Age has been upon us for quite some time but this slap signaled the comic's most extreme downward spiral.

So how about that back-up story? Ken Penders' “25 Years Later” keeps going with “In Transit.” Knuckles and Rotor's meeting in the park is interrupted when he spots Lien-Da's son spying on them, the kid coming upon the secret meeting while making out with his girlfriend. Concerned about what he might have learned, Knuckles returns to Haven, spying on his enemy instead of his daughter. Meanwhile, Rotor and Cobar continue to hint ominously towards upcoming bad juju.

Once again, the plot is the least interesting thing about this story. Instead, “In Transit” is full of cute moments between parents and children. In Haven, we see Grandfather Sabre is infirm while Spectre and Sojourner are seemingly unaged. This leads to an especially hilarious panel, perhaps unintentionally. When Knuckles mentions that Julie-Su insisted he never spy on Lara-Su, Sojourner expresses bafflement. Invading people's privacy is such an ingrained part of the Brotherhood, that they literally can not understand why anyone would object to it. It sort of seems like Ken is poking fun at his own writing here but who's to say? I also like Lien-Da's continued characterization as a doting mother, who is more interested in her son getting to second base with his girlfriend than in any pertinent information he may be carrying.

In addition to being a fun story, “In Transit” also looks amazing. It might have been this point that Steven Butler surpass Manny Galan as my favorite Knuckles artist. What about the cover story? It's drawn by newcomer Jon Gray. Some folks love Gray's artwork. I, personally, can't stand it. I was in high school when this issue came out and, reading it, Gray's pencil couldn't help but remind me of the shit girls I knew doodled on their notebooks. It's extremely loose, characters bending in all sorts of ridiculous, exaggerated ways. There's no interior cohesion to Gray's work, the cast members sloppily changing shape at a moment's notice. Gray's ridiculous artwork also undermines what should've been a fairly serious story. That's another reason the slap is so notorious. Gray draws it with the biggest, most oversized emotions possible.

For the first time, I think I have to rate the cover story and the backstory on different scales. “In Transit” is my favorite edition of “25 Years Later” thus far, a funny, charming story. It gets a [7/10.] The cover story would just be another mediocre Karl Bollers joint, awkward plotting choking out the smoothness, it if wasn't for the odious treatment of Sally. For totally assassinating everything lovable about the People's Princess, “Say You Will” gets a [2/10.]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 124

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 124
Publication Date: June 2003

It seems like only yesterday that Archie's “Sonic the Hedgehog” book crossed the one hundredth landmark. I guess when you're reviewing three issues a week, history seems to progress a little faster. By June of 2003, the book was fast approaching another landmark: Issue 125. Perhaps to make up for issue 100 being an underwhelming anniversary issue, Karl Bollers decided to pump up the jam for this event. The two parter beginning in 124 and concluding in 125, named “Sonic Adventure 2.5,” was determined to bring back as many characters as possible. It would also reveal some major truth for the book's universe.

For once, Karl successfully balances a number of different subplots. In space, Shadow the Hedgehog is rescued by the Bem and restored to full health. Following a scramble with an advancing alien battle-ship, the hedgehog falls towards Mobius once again. In Station Square, the same extraterrestrial dreadnought smashes through the artificial sky, attacking the city. Robotnik's empire comes under fire next. A peaceful moment in Knothole, Sonic and Sally finally announcing their engagement, is interrupted by the same pesky aliens. The invaders drop a major chunk of information on the heroes: Millions of years ago, Mobius was known as Earth.

Sometimes company's are slow to respond to fan's enthusiasm. Despite becoming immediately popular, Sega was cagey for a while about Shadow's status. Did he really die at the end of “Sonic Adventure 2?” Archie, similarly, took its time to revive Sonic's dark-furred rival. The character had barely appeared in the book previously, with the hasty game adaptation in issue 98 being his sole previous appearance. Issue 124 belatedly brings Shadow back into the comic, showing his return to Mobius. It even gives the character, too often written as just a broody badass, some development. Upon seeing Hope Kintobor, he's reminded of Maria, the saintly little blonde that was his only friend. So that's why the hot-headed anti-hero is working with the good guys: He's in awe of some other small blonde human-like creature.

More pressing to my interests: Sonic and Sally are no longer boning in sin. Following their mutual declaration of love in the last issue, the hedgehog and the Princess officially ask her parents if they can get engaged. They use a fancy word for it, something about Sonic some day becoming her betrothed, but the point is clear. These two love birds are Facebook official. They are now a committed couple and no mongoose shall come between them. If the hot and heavy kiss they share in this story, drawn with loving detail by Steven Butler, is any indication, this relationship has been serious – seriously sexy - for quite some time.

A greater threat looms in this issue and the book handles it an interesting way. The incoming alien invasion is properly portrayed as a global concern. The president of Station Square is affected, his driver taking a dive into the river. Rouge said she was going to rescue him but she got distracted, I guess. Robotnik, meanwhile, gets seriously scared that the invaders have equal fire power to him. He essentially begs the Kingdom of Acorn to assist but King Max leaves him hanging, which continues to show that the king can be ruthless when he wants to be. The Brotherhood even pops their head in, bringing up two recent plot points: Yeah, Knuckles is dead and the Floating Island is now Angel Island. I thought you guys knew?

Some people hate that Karl Bollers brought aliens into the Archie-verse. I'll admit, his previous introduction of the Bem was awkward. Honestly, I think he handles the first appearance of the Xorda a little better. There's plenty of build-up. Their appearance, including many tentacles and mad eyes, are properly striking. Though it crops up a little too frequently, the alien invasion is a good choice for any epic event. A global invasion by pissed-off E.T.s tend to unite the world, after all. The short version: I ain't got no beef with the Xorda.

Nor do I have additional beef with the major plot reveal they bring. Yes, issue 124 officially drops the “Planet of the Apes”-style bomb that Mobius was once Earth. Some people hate this reveal as well. Similarly, I don't mind. I mean, the book has been hinting at this truth for roughly forever. Remember the Sydney Opera House appearing in the “Tails” mini-series? Or the Freedom Fighters getting zapped into America in the Image crossover? Or, for that matter, a city full of regular human people appearing during the “Sonic Adventure” adaptation? More recently, a story was set in a blasted-out New York City, partially destroyed Statue of Liberty included. So it's not like the reveal came out of nowhere.

Some of the details are baffling. The Xorda getting pissed with Earth after their ambassador was dissected is reasonable. The aliens dropping a Gene Bomb on the planet – a weapon that apparently set up the new life forms that now call the Planet Formerly Known as Earth home – doesn't make much sense. If they wanted to wipe out all life, why utilize a device that would create more? But no matter. Mobius is Earth now and vice versa. Get used to it.

After that cliffhanger ends the main book, Ken Penders sets about wrapping up the “Afterlife” story line. Aurora continues to show Knuckles his life, displaying how his Chaos Powers would grow throughout his solo series. After confusingly telling him that only he controls his fate and his destiny is preordained, Knuckles passes through a portal to the afterlife. Except he doesn't, because Aurora is a big fat liar. Instead, Aurora has further plans for the Guardian. Why she couldn't just tell him, I don't know. I guess Aurora works in mysterious ways.

Once again, my mind is floated with frustrating questions. Why did Ken spend three issues recounting Knuckles' life? I can only speculate. Aurora being a manipulative bitch fits in with every other person in Knuckles' life bossing him around. Why would the goddess lie to him about his fate? I don't know, man. Why has every single authority figure in Knuckles' life pushed him around, evasively? At least Knuckles is finally no longer green. Jesus Christ, how long has he been green? Like two or three years? So let's be thankful that stupid bullshit is behind us

Ron Lim's sabbatical thankfully continues for the time being. Jay Axer draws the opening sequence devoted to Shadow while Steven Butler handles the rest of the cover story. Both produce excellent work. Art Mawhinney draws the back-up. While he does often resort to tracing Manny Galan's stuff from the “Knuckles” book, his work is still pretty good. Archie would try epic events from time to time and wouldn't always succeed. So far, “Sonic Adventure 2.5” is far smoother then “Endgame,” at the least. Let's see if they stick the landing. [7/10]