Archie & Friends: A Halloween Tale

Archie & Friends: A Halloween Tale
Publication Date: September 1998

Happy Halloween, Hedgehogs Can't Swim readers! If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that I love this day. Halloween isn't just my favorite holiday, it's my favorite time of year. This spooky, scary festival means a lot to me. Sadly, the “Sonic the Hedgehog” franchise doesn't indulge in the macabre or morbid very often. I've bemoan the lack of existence of a “Sonic” Halloween special before.

Except... I was wrong. There is a “Sonic” Halloween special. It's even a part of my beloved Archie-verse! But you'll be forgiven for not knowing this existed. “Archie & Friends: A Halloween Tale” is a short, ten page comic book that was published strictly as a promotional gimmick in September of 1998. I had never heard of the book before reading about it on the Mobius Encyclopaedia. Though super obscure, it's not especially rare and can be bought fairly cheaply online. I'm happy to present my thoughts on this weird bit of “Sonic” lore to you on this happy Halloween.

The book is also another one of those ill-conceived crossovers Archie was attempting around this time. “A Halloween Tale's” sole story is entitled “A Festival of Fantasy.” It depicts Sabrina the Teenage Witch meeting Sonic before their crossover in Sonic Super Special #10.

“A Festival of Fantasy” has Sabrina's talking cat Salem, weirdly depicted primarily as live-action photos from the then-relevant TV sitcom, tasking Sabrina with picking up his comics. The smarmy clerk, who can't believe a woman would be interested in comics, quickly strikes up a conversation with her. Confused, Sabrina accidentally recites a spell over the long boxes. This zaps her and Stevie into the world of Archie's “Sonic” book, where Sonic and Knuckles are currently fighting with Dr. Ivo Robotnik. Desperate to escape, Sabrina zaps herself, Stevie, and Sonic and Knuckles back out of the comic and into her world. Strapped for time, Sabrina is forced to drag Sonic and Knuckles to Cheryl Blossom's Halloween party. There, the Mobian heroes get into a scrape with Archie and Jughead before Sabrina successfully zaps them away.

Aside from the mere existence of a “Sonic” Halloween special being cool, “A Halloween Tale” is  interesting to me for another reason. I had always assumed that Archie begrudgingly tolerated the “Sonic” series' success. I imagined Archie was far more proud of the stupid teen comedy series that gave the company's its name. That they dismissed “Sonic” as a lame licensed book, of little interest. They might still be true but “A Halloween Tale” has Sonic happily standing alongside Archie's titular characters and his supporting cast. At one point, Ken Penders' script even refers to “Sonic” and “Knuckles” as best-selling books! So that's nice.

Then again, Ken Penders' might have been serving his ego some with that line. “A Halloween Tale” also has someone excitedly grabbing the first issue of “The Lost Ones.” (Which wouldn't actually come out until the year 2000.) The issue also ends with Salem, atop a pile of comics, calling the story great and imploring the reader to pick up more comics by Penders and friends. Real subtle, Ken.

“A Festival of Fantasy” is primarily a piece of cross-corporate promotional synergy. Archie packs the thing full of cameos. Aside from Sabrina and Salem, Archie himself, Jughead, Cheryl Blossom in a Playboy bunny outfit, Betty, Veronica, and Reggie all appear. There's a spread showing a crowd at the Halloween party. That includes Josie and the Pussycats and Sabrina's archenemy Enchantra. Some of those vintage superheroes Archie likes to bring back occasionally appear too: The Shield, the Web, the Comet, Black Hood, Blackjack, Steel Sterling, and the Jaguar. (And Stevie's Halloween costume is of Pureheart, Archie's superhero alter-ego.) Even further in the backgrounds are non-Archie characters like Shadowhawk, Astal, Charlie from “Street Fighter,” and Penders' Particle.

You'll notice I'm talking more about “A Halloween Tale's”  status as a novelty than as an actual story. The plotting is pretty fucking thin and lousy. The jokes, as seems to be in keeping with the “Archie” titles at the time, are pretty lame. The characters are broad and annoying. Reggie is an unreasonable asshole who tries to pick a fight with Sonic and Knuckles. For no particular reason, Jughead's Halloween costume is Robotnik, leading to an especially contrived confrontation. Robotnik's presence is a continuity error, as the classic version of the character was dead by this point. If you think Archie Sonic fans overlook this, you severely underestimate their nerdiness.

The script is exactly as lame as you'd expect a ten page long crossover to be. Ken probably wrote this fucking thing in half an hour. Artwork wise, “A Halloween Tale” is a little more interesting As in “Some Enchantra Evening,” the Archie characters and Sonic characters are drawn by different artists. Dan DeCarlo draws the Archie crew and does slightly better than the later work of his I saw. He obviously enjoys drawing sexy girls like Cheryl or Betty. None other than Patrick Spaziante handles the “Sonic” cast. They look pretty damn great, expressive and stylized. The contrast between the two styles are extreme but it's always fun to see Spaz draw the Sonic crew.

As a Halloween special, “Festival of Fantasy” is pretty underwhelming. There's nothing spooky, scary, creepy, eerie, or even spoopy about this particular book. Still, it's mere existence is delightful to me. It's a mediocre comic book but the sheer novelty factor goes a long friggin' way. If you're a fan of stupid bullshit, like me, I'd recommend you try and find a copy. [5/10]

Sonic Super Special: Issue 10 – Crossover Chaos

Sonic Super Special: Issue 10 – Crossover Chaos
Publication Date: July 1999

Archie’s ill-fated attempt to drive “Sonic” readers to their faltering “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” comic continued in issue 10 of the Sonic Super Special quarterly series. I’ve mentioned before how, as a kid, I was susceptible to Archie’s hype. I mean, shit, they even managed to get my pumped for the Image crossover. Yet, even back then, I thought Sonic and Sabrina meeting one another was odd. At the time, I considered the cross-over a nothing story, totally disposable. The cross-over theme of SSS #10 continues in other ways, as the story also features the Archie Sonic meeting up with the “Sonic Underground” universe, a then new series.

“Some Enchantra Evening: Chapter Two” picks up where “Sabrina the Teenage Witch Issue 28” left off. The bewitched Sonic is about to wreck Sabrina’s shit when she teleports the hedgehog to the top of Mount Everest. Before Sabrina and Sally can parse what’s truly going on, Sonic returns. This time, he sets the sights on Sabrina’s high school. The teenage witch zaps herself to that location and just barely defeats the mind-controlled hero. Unconsciousness resumes Sonic’s control over his own mind. Sally locates Enchantra, talks her into leaving Mobius alone, and Sabrina and the super-powered bitch settle their differences.

The second part of “Some Enchantra Evening” is marginally better then the first only because it slows way the fuck down on the lame humor. There’s one or two of Mike Gallagher’s puns. (One of which “I 8 when that happens!,” said while Sonic performs a figure 8, is practically identical to a joke Gallagher used all the way back in “Super Sonic vs. Hyper Knuckles.”) Instead, the focus is more on Sabrina stopping Sonic’s rampage and Sally outsmarting Enchantra. But don’t mistake this for a compliment, as the story is still incredibly lame.

For example, the fight between Sabrina and Sonic, which I guess is the main attraction, is highly anticlimactic. Sabrina literally trips Sonic as he’s running. He twirls her around with the aforementioned figure eight maneuver. Sonic then spins around the witch in a cyclone, sucking away her air. Before passing out, Sabrina magically moves a tree into Sonic’s path. That’s it. The fight last all of two pages. It’s lame.

The resolution of the story isn’t much better. In the last act, Sally finally explains how the hell she got to Sabrina’s world. Enchantra left the portal between worlds open, presumably because she’s an idiot. Sally then yells at Enchantra about all the bad-ass villains that exist on Mobius and how they would totally wreck her shit if allowed. Even though the witch has the ability to open and close the portal at any time, this talk convinces her to cut it out. Sabrina and Enchantra then resolve their incredibly stupid conflict which, if you don’t remember, began over a school history report. “Some Enchantra Evening” is one of those stories that are so bad, they retcon themselves out of existence. At the end, Enchantra zaps Sonic and Sally back to Mobius a second after being taken, removing their memories of these events. I recommend the reader does the same.

Once again, the story continues with the agreement of Dan DeCarlo drawing the Sabrina characters and Dave Manak drawing the Sonic characters. DeCarlo is apparently respected in some circles so I assume his artwork is usually better then the flat, detail lacking work here. As for Manak, it’s very apparent that he’s forgotten how to draw Sonic and friends. Sonic has a giant, bulbous head, his proportions never looking right. Sally’s vest, meanwhile, has fused into a weird low-cut top. As I mentioned last time, DeCarlo and Manak’s work is so similar that I don’t know why one of them didn’t just draw the whole story.

The second story continues the Zone War that began back in Sonic Super Special Issue 8. Zonic the Zone-Cop interrupts a pleasant picnic the Freedom Fighters are having. He’s got another mission for Sonic Prime. After an uprising on the Anti-Mobius, Anti-Sonic has been recruited by an alternate universe of Robotnik to collect the pieces of the Giant Borg. That is, the big ass robot Sonic and his many doppelgangers smashed back in issue 19. Sonic and Zonic team up with the only version of Sonic that hasn’t been convinced to hand over his piece. That version of Sonic is in a rock band with his brother and sister, fighting a war against another version of Robontik. This Robotnik has already reassembled the Giant Borg but, luckily, it only takes two Sonics to defeat it this time.

Ah yes, “Sonic Underground,” the cartoon show that managed to disappointed me even when I was ten years old. The series was similar to “SatAM” on a surface level but lacked the heart and balance of stakes that made that show great. In place of that, it had identical siblings for Sonic, obnoxious comic relief villains, and a fucking terrible musical number each episode. (About the only thing the cartoon had going for it was the first American animated appearance of Knuckles. And, no, he’s not in this story.) There was no reason for Archie to acknowledge “Sonic Underground” existed but, I’m guessing, somebody up the corporate ladder figured the comic should help promote the new cartoon. After all, both the comic and animated series existed, in a round about way, to bring attention to the new system and game created by the SEGA Overlords.

As for “A Tale of Two Hedgehogs,” it’s pretty shitty. The strife among the Anti-Freedom Fighters is mildly diverting. Watching alternate universe versions of Sonic, Antoine, and Sally bitch at each other almost reaches the level of trashy fun. It’s all a bit of a misdirect, as Anti-Sonic’s role in the story is fairly unimportant.

Once the story proper gets moving, the plot falls into lameness very quickly. The Giant-Borg is nothing but a plot device, the pieces being reassembled off-screen. The giant robot rampages through a city for all of one page, barely enough time to establish it as a threat. It takes only a little bit longer for the two Sonics to destroy it. Sonic-Prime distracts Robotnik while Sonic-Underground leads a homing missile back to the robot’s cockpit. There’s an utterly incoherent bit in the middle, where it’s reveal that apparently the Robotnik that organizes this scheme isn’t the Underground version but rather the version that will soon reveal himself in the main comic. This is a confusing sideline and muddles the plot.

As a commercial for “Sonic Underground,” this doesn’t fare very well either. The entire premise of the new series is shoved into a two-page spread in the middle of the story. It accomplishes the same goal as the show’s expositionary theme song. The reader doesn’t get much of a bead on the new characters’ personality. What seals this story’s shitty status is the artwork. Jim Valentino was, for some reason I can’t fathom, invited back to draw Sonic. His artwork continues to be awful. The characters’ facial expressions range from grotesque to comical. Despite being so bad at drawing faces, Valentino often zooms in on them. It’s pretty clear Valentino doesn’t know how to draw the Sonic cast, as they frequently go off-model. The action is not clearly drawn while the backgrounds remain vague and empty.

It sucks. The whole book sucks. The Sonic Super Special series was often unnecessary and this issue is one of the most unnecessary. Which would you prefer? A painfully unfunny crossover with a series you almost definitely do not care about? Or a terribly drawn, weakly plotted crossover with everyone’s fifth favorite “Sonic” cartoon? Ah, I see, this is one of those “rancid milk/moldy bread” dilemmas. [The dreaded 3/10]

Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Issue 28

Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Issue 28
Publication Date: July 1999

Despite the fact that I’ve been reading Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” comics nearly my entire life, I’ve never had any interest in their other flagship characters. I’m referring to the character the company is actually named after and his supporting cast of love interests, friends, and spin-offs. I’ve never felt the need to read the adventures of the Riverdale gang. However, there is one Archie character I have some familiarity with. Or at least, a version of her anyway…

Archie (the company) first started publishing comics featuring Sabrina the Teenage Witch back in the early sixties. She often crossed over with Archie (the character) and got her own series in 1971, which ran for thirteen years. In the mid-nineties, for some reason, ABC aired a sitcom based off Sabrina’s comic book and starring Melissa Joan Hart. Watching now as an adult, I now know the show is incredibly dumb. As a kid, I rarely missed an episode. Starting in May 1997, Archie began to publish a “Sabrina” comic book again, obviously to tie in with the successful TV show.

Why the hell am I talking about this? For some reason, in the summer of 1999, Sonic the Hedgehog and Sabrina the Teenage Witch met in issue 28 of her comic book. The cross-over would continue in issue 10 of the Sonic Super Specials series. I can’t figure out the narrative reasons why Archie thought these two drastically different characters should meet. But I can take a guess at the financial reasons. This particular incarnation of the “Sabrina” comic book would end in December of 1999, a few months after this issue was published. That suggests Sabrina’s sales were starting to flag, even with the successful sitcom on the air. Archie probably hopped a cross-over with “Sonic” – whose popularity was supporting three separate series at the time – would help sell a few more “Teenage Witch” comics. Obviously, the plan didn’t work. (Archie has subsequently rebooted “Sabrina” at least two more times.)

Sonic and Sabrina don’t encounter each other until the second story in issue 28 of “Sabrina.” But I’m a professional and, thus, will review the entire comic book. “Thor Loser” – get used to puns on that level – begins in whatever alternate realm witches come from in the Archie-verse. Some sorcerer named Enchantra is pissed at Sabrina. After helping her get an A+ on her history report, Sabrina failed to properly credit Enchantra. Yes, a missed citation is all it takes to ensure the wizard’s wrath. Anyway, Enchantra’s secretary, Della, is ordered to sic the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse on Sabrina and her aunts. Because of a typing error, the Four Norseman attack Sabrina’s home instead. The witches stun the Norsemen, which includes the god Thor, and wipes their memories. Aunt Helga and Zelda take three of the Norseman to Florida. Sabrina takes Thor for a walk through the park. After raining thunder down on Sabrina’s friends, Enchantra realizes the mistake and zaps all the four guys back to Norway.

Man, if you thought the humor in the early “Sonic” comics were pedestrian, get a load of this shit. What passes for jokes in “Sabrina” are the broadest of sight gags. When Thor meets Sabrina’s friends, he launches their croquet ball into orbit, crushes the dude’s hand during a handshake, and creates a thunder storm. Aside from the handful of painful puns, that’s pretty much it. The sitcom might have actually had more sophisticated humor then this. No, the implications of memory wiping and mind control are not explored. Neither is why seemingly omniscient witches have to use typewriters. Dan DeCarlo had been drawing “Sabrina” and many other Archie series since the sixties. His artwork is fairly flat, jagged, and overly cartoony. But I also suspect this shitty comic book doesn’t represent his best work.

At the end of “Thor Loser,” Salem – that’s Sabrina’s talking cat – mentions how he collects “Sonic the Hedgehog” comic books. That takes us to the first half of “Some Enchantra Evening,” the cover story. Still pissed at Sabrina, Enchantra uses the internet to search the multi-verse for another character to send after the teenage girl. She discovers Mobius and Sonic the Hedgehog. While Sonic and Sally are arguing about their relationship in a desert, Enchantra lures Sonic away. She zaps the hedgehog to her world, takes over his mind, and flies him to Sabrina’s house. While the teen girl sleeps, Salem – who is, remember, a house cat – fights off the violent, brainwashed Mobian. The fight wrecks the house. Eventually, Sabrina and Princess Sally get involved, hoping to stop Sonic’s path of destruction.

Mike Gallagher wrote both of these stories. Gallagher wrote some decent “Sonic” stories in the past but, if this issue is any indication, his work on “Sabrina” was strictly phoned in. The short segment set on Mobius suggests that Mike hasn’t been keeping up with the changes that have affected Sonic’s world since he left the book. Sonic and Sally argue about their romance in a non-descriptive setting. They make vague references to lots of crazy shit happening in Mobius but no specifics. Nicole, meanwhile, yells cliched catchphrases. I don’t know why.

Once Sonic runs into the Spellman house, the comedic tone remains dire. Salem the Cat fights Sonic by zapping him with a magic ray and tripping him up with kitty litter. Considering Sonic has tangled with some serious threats, this suggests that Enchantra’s mind control is seriously lessening his abilities. There are jokes in the story, I think, but they are only of the lamest variety. Even as a simple comedic story, it’s full of plot holes. Why isn’t Sabrina awoken sooner by Sonic reaping destruction on her house? How the hell does Sally cross into an alternate universe?

Another weird thing about this story is the art work. Dan DeCarlo continues to draw the Sabrina characters. Sonic and friends, meanwhile, are drawn by Dave Manak. It’s clear that Manak is a student of DeCarlo, as their style is similar. Considering this, I don’t know why they didn’t have Manak just draw the whole story. Manak’s artwork is as angular and cartoony as always. He adapts awkwardly to the characters then current designs. Sonic’s green irises just make his eyes bulge. Sally’s more anime-esque physique is barely carried over.

“Some Enchantra Evening” ends on a cliffhanger, the story concluding in Sonic Super Special number 10, which we’ll cover next time. If this stunt was meant to draw Sonic fans to Sabrina’s book, I can see why it didn’t work. Issue 28 of “Sabrina” is extremely dumb, a comedy book with jokes so lame a child could’ve written them. And we don’t even have peak-hotness Melissa Joan Hart to look at! [4/10]