Sonic Universe: Issue 70

Sonic Universe: Issue 70
Publication Date: November 2014

Do you think Ian Flynn planned this whole “Dark Trilogy” thing out? I mean, I know he says he plans shit out a year or so in advance. But, it seems to me, the “Shadow Fall,” “Great Chaos Caper,” and “Total Eclipse” arcs linking together was probably a happy accident. After all, the middle chapter doesn’t really connect that much with the other two. Either way, “Sonic Universe” would never do anything this ambitious again. Which is for the best, as this title always thrived on variety.

You know this is the story where Knuckles cuts his Emerald into pieces cause it’s subtitled “Last Resort.” The echidna and Shadow resume their brawl after crawling out of a river. Once the island starts quaking, Knuckles realizes Eclipse has absconded with the Master Emerald. After getting yelled at by Rouge, both boys put their differences aside to pursue the Darkling. As the alien comes close to leaving the island, and Shadow and Knuckles get more exhausted, the Guardian realizes he only has one option left.

The last part of “Total Eclipse” is, first and foremost, devoted to action. Shadow and Knuckles continue their fight in the opening pages, yelling and screaming at each other when they aren’t trading punches and blows. The back half of the book is devoted to a three way fight with Eclipse. Eclipse shows off his wisp power-ups, including some sort of sound cannon, but it doesn’t add much variety to the conflict. All three combatants are completely worn out and so is the reader. You can only look at cartoon characters punch each other so long before getting bored.

The things that are unrelated to the title brawl prove more entertaining. Eclipse’s journey to the Launch Pad Zone is delayed by the various booby traps hidden in the island, which Rouge and Relic activate from a secret location. This is a fun call back to the “Sonic 3” instructional manual, which referenced traps being hidden all over the island. It allows Flynn to tease out the mysterious past of Angel Island, as Relic notes the technology is clearly older than even the echidna civilization. (Not that Ian would ever get around to expounding on this, assuming Sega would have even allowed it.) Mostly, this subplot is amusing because of Eclipse’s increasingly exasperated reaction to these inconveniences.

It’s all leading up to the big, climatic moment. Knuckles realizes that to protect the Master Emerald, he must destroy it. He shatters the Emerald with some sort of super punch, the shards immediately teleporting around the globe. This might have been a shocking moment if the cover didn’t spoil it. Oh, also, if the Master Emerald being shattered and splattered all over the planet wasn’t Knuckles’ plot line in three separate video games. The Island is kept floating due to the world being broken up, meaning there’s little urgency to Knux retrieving the shards. So his big sacrifice is more for show than anything else. If he had just done this in the first issue, the entire arc would’ve been resolved then and there.

Truthfully, I’m left feeling like this entire arc has been a waste of time. What are the lasting ramifications of “Total Eclipse?” Mostly, Knuckles is sent on another fucking fetch quest, one he’s gone on several times before in the games. Other than that, what has been resolved? Eclipse escapes at the end, foiled but alive, so he’s still out there plotting nefarious deeds. (Though what deeds exactly, we’ll never know. Flynn never got back around to the character before the comic’s cancellation.) G.U.N. has not gained anything. Snively’s obviously evil schemes go undiscovered. Knux has learned nothing new about himself or his duty. I guess Shadow and Knux have a little more respect for each other now but that’s about it. Aside from creating another plot point the comic can stretch out for two more years, “Total Eclipse” added little to the world.

Once again, the only thing I really like are the cute shenanigans of Relic and Team Dark. When Omega snaps Rouge’s shoulders back in place, Relic just about faints. Later, her enthusiasm at the ancient tech gets a snippy response from Rouge, a funny moment. At the end, once the action is over, Relic tells Knuckles she’s staying on the Island. Further proof these two dorks are an adorable couple. Oh, there’s also a funny moment when Knuckles recognizes Snively as a former Eggman lackey, chasing the cowardly henchman away. That made me chuckle.

Honestly, I wish Flynn had just written a Knuckles/Relic storyline, as that’s clearly where his interest lies. I would’ve happily read four issues of these two nerds flirting and getting into some adventure together. Instead, Flynn had to get in his own way again by piling on pointless fight scenes, more teases for plot points that will never be resolved, and an insistence on tying everything back to this dumb-ass “Sonic Unleashed” overarching plot. What a waste. At least “Sonic Universe” will be focusing its attention elsewhere for a while. [5/10]

Sonic Universe: Issue 69

Sonic Universe: Issue 69
Publication Date: October 2014

Part three of the “Total Eclipse” story arc is subtitled “Shadow Boxing.” Which is, admittedly, a pretty good pun. Knuckles and Shadow’s conflict over the Master Emerald gets heated very quickly. The so-called Ultimate Lifeform attempts to teleport the Emerald away. However, Knuckles instead tosses the hedgehog hella’ far, taking their fight to an obscure corner of Angel Island. Rouge has the brilliant idea to just let the boys wail on each other for a while, instead of actually doing anything. This allows Eclipse, armed with his super powers-lending Dark Arms, to march right in and grab the Master Emerald.

The first two issues of “Total Eclipse” flirted with allowing the whole story to collapse into a mindless fight fest. Both issues were better because of it. Issue three, however, fully gives in to temptation. Most of issue 69 is devoted to Knuckles and Shadow beating the crap out of each other. It looks like the issue may be side-winding this entire tendency, when Shadow Chaos Controls out of Knuckles’ way early in the issue. But nope. The next twenty issues are filled with punching, kicking, special attacks, choke holds, and gritted teeth. It concludes with both fighters stumbling over a waterfall like a pair of jack-asses.

What makes this fight even more useless is the comic’s flagrant admission that it’s all a pointless dick-measuring contest. Shadow is fighting Knuckles either because Eclipse is still messing with his head – a plot point that should’ve been explored more, if this is the case – or because his ego is still stinging over the alien getting away. Knuckles, meanwhile, has become unreasonably protective of the Master Emerald because it’s been stolen or destroyed five separate times. (That’s a side effect of all the Sega games being canon with the comics now. You suddenly realize Knuckles sucks at his job.) So the fight is less of a real conflict and more because of bruised male egos. Rouge just standing back and letting this huge waste of time progress is some seriously lazy writing. But she’s probably right that the big, strong, baby boys just need to get this out of their systems.

Sadly, the book’s tendency towards mindless fighting does not cease there. While Shadow and Knuckles homoerotically wail on each other, Eclipse sneaks in and steals the Master Emerald. He effortlessly disposed of Team Dark with his new superpowers. Confirming my suspicions that they’re meant to be evil counterparts to the Wisps, we learn that Eclipse’s Dark Arms siblings were deliberately crossbred with the aforementioned alien power-ups. So each one can fuse with Eclipse, giving him a new ability. One gives Eclipse super hard skin, one gives him wings, and another turns his hand into a natural laser blaster. This allows him to tear a huge hole in Omega and dislocate Rouge’s shoulder.

This stuff just bores me. If the villain decimated the heroes because he genuinely outmatched them, mentally or physically, that’s one thing. The bad guy temporarily coming out on top because he just grabs new superpowers out of the air is not compelling writing. Moreover, it takes away from what’s interesting about Eclipse’s personality. Up to this point, Eclispe protected his Darkling offspring not just to ensure the survival of his species but because he genuinely loves them. This tender side, his need to nurture his siblings, made him more complex. By taking them into battle with him, using them as power-ups and weapons, that makes Eclipse look a lot more callous. Subsequently, that makes him way more boring.

There’s really only two things going for this issue. First, there’s some likable comic relief here. Relic doesn’t get much to do but she have a few spotlight moments. She meekly attempts to protect the Emerald by proclaiming she’s “read about many forms of martial arts.” This is just one example of how Relic’s personality, a completely non-physical academic, adds some variety to the cast. Also, Omega and Fixit’s antagonistic relationship continues to be a decent source of humor. Finally, there’s a panel where Eclipse calls Snively “lunchbox” and that made me laugh.

Being a fight heavy issues, Tracy Yardley does get a chance to show off. The sequence where Eclipse is fighting around with his new red wings, making short work of Rouge, is especially dynamic. I also like Yardley’s character work. Like Eclipse’s warm expression when the Wisps cuddle up next to him. After reflecting on his failures, Knuckles makes a big, scream-y, defiant face. Which is a nice touch. So the book looks good.

“Total Eclipse” has been tittering in this edge of being interesting and being tedious. With part three, it plummeted over to the tedious side. From the looks of it, more fighting and bickering is forthcoming in the finale. Oh boy, can’t wait. [5/10]

Sonic Universe: Issue 68

Sonic Universe: Issue 68
Publication Date: September 2014

I wanna talk about “Sonic & Knuckles.” Yes, that video game might just be the second half of “Sonic 3” but I loved it as a stand alone game as a kid. I also loved the box art. The stylized, logo-like figure of Sonic and Knuckles’s heads in an oval on a black background was immediately iconic in my eyes. It exuded cool on the same level of other nineties advertising icons, like the 1989 “Batman” poster and the Steelers’ logo, both possible inspirations. Yes, kid-me held onto the fold-out poster of the logo that came with the game and, yes, it was up on my bedroom wall.

If you ever get me drunk enough, I’ll probably get the “Sonic & Knuckles” logo tattooed on my body. Archie’s “Sonic” comic understood that image’s power and paid homage to it a few times over the years. Like the variation at the beginning of “Battle Royal.” Or the cover to “Sonic Universe: Issue 68,” which renders Knuckles, Shadow, and Eclipse in a similarly minimalistic manner.

Let’s get right to it, shall we? “Total Eclipse, Part Two: Tipping Point” is focused on fighting and exploration. At the Master Emerald Shrine, Shadow and Eclipse wail on each other extra hard. Once it looks like the alien might win, Shadow remembers he’s standing next to a giant plot device, quickly turning the tide. Meanwhile, Knuckles, Rouge, and Omega search for Eclipse’s ship. Just as they find it, Relic’s distress call brings them back. At that point, a new conflict begins.

As suspected last time, a large part of issue 68 is devoted to Shadow and Eclipse fighting each other. The book treats this like a big deal, even though these guys fought less than five issues ago. The fight is mostly worth reading for two details. Eclipse hulks out again and uses his temporary superior strength to smash the shit out of Shadow. Seeing the so-called Ultimate Lifeform brought down a peg or two is always nice. The way Shadow beats Eclipse back is kind of bullshitty. He gets a power boost from the Master Emerald and kamehamehas Eclipse a mile away, which he could have done at any time. But the image of Shadow blasting Eclipse out of his beefed-up body, which then sags and melts in an especially gooey fashion, is highly amusing.

The stuff going on outside the fisticuffs is more interesting. While Knuckles and Rouge search for Eclipse’s ship, they have a debate about Knuckles’ purpose. Rouge believes Knuckles is wasting his potential guarding a largely empty island. That he deserves to see the world and have a full life outside his destiny as a Guardian. Knuckles, meanwhile, believes this is Rouge’s selfish nature talking. That she can’t comprehend having a greater purpose. The truth is both are right. It’s a good thing Knux is there, guarding the world’s most powerful MacGuffiin. Yet he also deserves more than this provincial life. As much as I rag on the reboot, this is probably a sturdier depiction of Knuckles being torn by his destiny as a guardian than the bullshit Ken Penders cooked up.

Of course, if you’re inclined to look at things from a shippier perspective, this debate has another meaning. Maybe Rouge wants Knuckles to leave the island behind because she wants him all to herself. Maybe she’s threatened by the echidna’s obvious attraction to a Relic. By the way, that potential romance gets a big boost here as well. After returning to the Shrine Island, Knux seems especially relieved that Relic is okay. He comes very close to giving her a big hug. Maybe he’s just happy that the only company he has on the island is safe. But I think Flynn knew what he was doing.

With the fight with Eclipse temporary resolved, the book has to fill its last few pages with another conflict. Shadow believes the Master Emerald is too powerful to be left out in the open. It should be under G.U.N.’s protection, in a secure, secret location. That, due to the effects of the Shattered World Crisis, Angel Island will float until things are settled. Knuckles, naturally, is very much against the big glowy gem that has directed his entire life being removed. So we’re headed towards another fight scene, this time between Shadow and Knuckles. Flynn’s mechanical way of setting up big fights really makes me miss the pro-wrestling level of pageantry Mike Gallagher brought to similarly juvenile melees back in the day.

There’s a problem with this, besides it being belabored preparation for another bland fight fest. (And besides the fact that I’ve never seen a single “Sonic” fan ask for this match-up, which Shadow could easily win.) On the surface, again, both parties are sort of right. However, Snively - still overseeing everything via drone - is adamant G.U.N. receives the Emerald. The one peak we get into his lab shows that he obviously has something sinister planned. So Flynn spoils the juiciness of the conflict, by showing that Knuckles really is right about this one. Which makes another bland showdown even more bland.

Issue 68 proves something that I’ve been harping on for a while. Interpersonal conflicts, that are more complex than punchy-punchy, that are tested out with words and emotions, are compelling and also grow everyone’s personalities. Ian seems to sort of understand that. At the same time, it feels like he’s meeting some executive mandate to include one big fight scene every issue. Considering all the stupid rules Archie and Sega forced on the book, I wouldn’t be shocked if that was true. But I’ve been reading Flynn’s work long enough to know that, unfortunately, this is just what he does. [6/10]

Sonic Universe: Issue 67

Sonic Universe: Issue 67
Publication Date: August 2014

Is it appropriate to open a review with a sigh? The very first issue of Archie’s “Sonic” comic I read was issue 17, published in September of 1994. Which means, by the time issue issue 67 of “Sonic Universe” came out in September of 2014, I had been reading these comics for exactly twenty years. That’s a long time to stick with something. Sadly, I think pure fan inertia was more responsible for this than anything else. Because, post-reboot, very little of the comic I loved still existed. The prospects of reading issue 67 fills me not with elation but dismay. Flynn’s really going to run with this “Dark Trilogy” thing, isn’t he? All right, let’s see how it goes.

Part one of “Total Eclipse” – of the sun? Of the heart? – begins with Eclipse crash landing on Angel Island. He survives and so do some infant Black Arms. Days later, G.U.N. has determined that the alien is somewhere on the island. Shadow is preoccupied with tracking down and destroying Eclipse but Rouge insists they meet with Knuckles first. After everyone meets and argues, a decision is made. Knuckles, Rouge, and Omega will find Eclipse while Shadow and Relic will guard the Master Emerald. Eclipse, however, has other plans.

Plot wise, part one of “Total Eclipse” is focused on set-up. Most of the issue is spent determining which characters will go in which direction. The differing goals of the heroes are quickly set up. The importance of the Master Emerald is re-emphasized. The parallels between Shadow and Eclipse’s deadly obsessions with each other are established. This is a boldfaced first act, designed to put all the players and plot points in place, so that Flynn’s story can progress just as he needs it to.

Normally, this would bug me but it works out all right here. Flynn padded the first issue of “The Great Chaos Caper” with comic relief from the Chaotix, which was obnoxious. He pads this issue with interaction between Knuckles’ gang and Team Dark, which is delightful. We begin with some awkward banter between Knuckles and Relic, suggesting the echidna really likes having her around, even if it conflicts with his lonely duty. Once Rouge appears, she immediately begins flirting with Knux, as is her nature. This escalates, in a really cute way, into Rouge suggesting Knuckles and the pika are keeping each other company in a less than platonic manner. The young guardian is embarrassed, Relic is annoyed, and Rouge is amused that she can manipulate both of them so easily.

I am all for blatant ship-teasing like this. Not just because I think Knuckles and Relic would be a cute couple, the nerdy academic complimenting the lonely brawler. And not just because characters this age should obviously have romance on their minds, no matter what Sega thinks. I approve because it shows that these guys and gals are more than just their superpowered attributes, their status as corporate mascots, and their roles as plot points in a comic book story. It shows that they’re people, with feelings and opinions. Flynn is also really good at this kind of flirty character interaction, as displayed many times in the past. I wish he would focus on it more, instead of mindless action and uninvolving world-building. (Also, there’s a hilarious and adorable panel where Omega and Fixit, two very different types of robots, compare attributes.)

When not focusing on wholesome banter, the issue pays attention to Eclispe’s latest plight. I’ll admit, the Darkling is growing on me. When not plotting revenge on Shadow, he takes care of his younger Black Arms siblings. I care not for the little aliens’ designs, which are obviously meant to resemble the Wisps but, like, evil and shit. However, Eclipse caring for them in a very parental manner is cute. He feeds them when they’re hungry, scolds them when they misbehave, and cuddles them when they’re good. That Eclipse loves and cares for these little critters makes him a little more complex than the one-dimensional villain he appeared to be initially.

This issue, at the very end, also bends slightly towards horror. While Shadow grimly guards the Master Emerald, Relic attempts to make polite conversation. As Shadow turns to face her, the pika’s face has transformed into a hideous insect maw. Shadow then hears Black Death’s mocking voice in his ear, making it clear that Eclipse is fucking with him psychically. It’s a cool, kind of creepy sequence that, disappointingly, seems to be building towards another tedious fight scene. Eclipse’s ability to mess with Shadow’s mind is way more interesting than his status as a physical threat.

Before we go, I have to talk about Snively, who gets his proper reintroduction here. He’s now known as Dr. Julian Snively, since Sega forbade video game cast members from having blood relatives. That rule is really dumb and I’m glad Flynn found a way around it, so he could keep Snively in the book. However, I have some concerns about the former Colin Kintobor. First off, his new design is awful. Snively now has a hideous goatee and wears one of those “Dragon Ball Z” power scanners. He’s been changed into a G.U.N. employee, shown here shepherding Team Dark via drone. We’d eventually discover that Snively 2.0 has a past with Eggman and might still harbor loyalties to him. Wherever this was meant to go, we’ll never know. Flynn was too busy stretching the Shattered World Crisis out for three years to get around to it. So, essentially, a fan favorite was brought back with a ugly new design, hung around the peripherals for three years, but never actually did anything. Great job, Ian.

Aside from totally fucking up Snively, I’m happy to say this issue fills me with less existential dread than anticipated. That’s mostly thanks to some really cute and charming banter between Knuckles and friends. I’m even sort of, kind of interested in what’s happening with Eclipse. I remember “Total Eclipse” being an overall lame story arc but, at the very least, the beginning is better than I remember. Also, check out this cool 16-bit style variant cover from Ryan Jampole. I like Omega’s burning orange eyes. [7/10]

Sonic Universe: Issue 66

Sonic Universe: Issue 66
Publication Date: August 2014

Welcome to my review of issue 66 of “Sonic Universe.” Here we are at the final part of “The Great Chaos Caper,” thank god. The fourth entry in this arc is subtitled “Water a Way to Go,” in reference to the characters nearly drowning to death in a flooded mine shaft. That is maybe the shittiest pun to ever be featured in these comics. Which is saying a lot, since Mike Gallagher was a regular writer at one point. Then again, I guess it’s sort of charming that the book still features such crummy jokes, so many years into its lifespan. Some things never change, I guess.

Anyway, “Water a Way to Go” begins with Knuckles and the Chaotix trapped in said flooded mineshaft with a giant, pissed-off Dark Gaia monster. Meanwhile, the Hooligans are getting away with Chip and the Chaos Emerald. Thanks to some quick thinking and sloppy writing, the Chaotix escape the caved-in area. They pursue the baddies, the monster following them. Soon, another three-way battle ensues, with Chip and the Emerald as the prize.

“The Great Chaos Caper” continues to focus on pedestrian and juvenile humor. The less said about a disgusting panel of Chip hiding in Vector's mouth, the better. Flynn has used aggressively wacky characters as a crutch far too often throughout this story. Bean’s exhaustively goofy comic relief becomes the main focus in this issue. In the beginning, when it looks like the Hooligans might get away with it for once, he bitches that this adventure was insufficiently wacky. Later, Bean is baited by Charmy into attacking the Dark Gaia Titan. This leads to two pages of the duck yelling random bullshit as he bombards the monster with bombs. Enough already.

Yet this is not the only way the writing in this comic is insufficient. How do the Chaotix escape the tight squeeze they’re in at the issue’s beginning? Vector notices one of those beach ball switches, pointed out in the first part of this story, that regulates the mine’s water level. They flip it, opening a drain that allows them to escape. Gee, funny that nobody noticed that sooner? It’s almost as if Flynn placed that switch there suddenly because he wrote himself into an inescapable corner again. It’s another sloppy resolution, coming too soon after the overly convenient appearance of Chaos and Tikal over in the main “Sonic” book. You’ve got to stop doing this, Ian.

Worst yet, it’s a resolution that feels especially hollow. After devoting almost a whole issue to introducing him, Flynn reduces Chip to plot device status here. The wolf-chipmunk-bug contributes nothing to this story, other than being an object traded back and forth between the heroes and the villains. This issue is full of shit like that. After struggling with the Dark Gaia Titan for so many pages, Knuckles just beats the thing to death in the span of a few panels. That definitely feels like the kind of thing he could have done sooner. The issue also ends with the totally baffling decision for the Chaotix to let Knuckles watch over any Chaos Emeralds they find in the future, saying he’ll keep them safe. That... sounds like a scam. What kind of racket are you running here, Knuckles?

About the only thing I find compelling about this issue is the overriding melancholy of Nack the Weasel. As I said earlier, he very nearly completed this mission. He fails partially because of the incompetence of his partners. This is a guy who’s clearly skilled. He has his gun up against Knuckles’ head at one point. In the past, we’ve seen him outsmart Sonic and murder his foes. Yet the universe keeps shitting on him. This climaxes in a panel where Nack has a minor breakdown, going on about how sick he is of nothing ever going his way. That kind of angst is relatable. Flynn is pretty clearly playing Nack’s pain for laughs. He’s a goofy bad guy. We’re not suppose to relate or even root for him. Yet that relatable side makes the weasel way more interesting.

Another way that “The Great Chaos Caper” has been weak is how much it feels like an advertisement for future story lines. Relic’s subplot has been all about setting up the next arc, focusing on Eclipse making a home on Angel Island and plotting revenge on Shadow. The comic even turns its focus on Eclipse for one scene. The last page is set up for the forthcoming “Champions” storyline, the obligatory and tedious fighting tournament arc. Even though that’s several months away. Simply put: Why is this shit in this issue? Flynn, you could barely write this arc in a functional manner. Why are you trying to get us excited for your next disaster? I really wonder if all this isn’t just filler, as this arc was clearly a two issue plot stretched out to four.

It should be evident that I wasn’t much of a fan of this one. “The Great Chaos Caper” exhibits many of my problems with the post-reboot comic: A preoccupation with a lame mythology largely based off Sega’s vague and half-assed plots, established characters reduced to childish and annoying versions of themselves, simplistic A-to-B writing, a focus on weak action and even weaker comedy, and a general sense that the writer is either clueless, hopelessly overwhelmed, or totally phoning it in. The result is a four-parter that was a chore to get through and another comic book that, with the exception of one or two cute scenes, made me nothing but contempt. [4/10]

Sonic Universe: Issue 62

Sonic Universe: Issue 62
Publication Date: March 2014

Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” comics have always wanted to be movies. Over the years, the writers and artists have used film terminology when talking about the book. The extended re-release of issue 50 was called a “director’s cut,” even though comics really aren’t directed the same way movies are. The farcical Off-Panel stripes, which are almost as old as the comic itself, treat the characters as if they’re actors in-between scenes. The misbegotten longer Off-Panel stories have even made jokes about make-up departments, award shows, and editing physical reels of film. (Not to mention Ken Penders’ actual efforts to get the comic made into a movie.)

This obvious jealousy the comic creators felt for filmmakers continued with 2014’s “After the Credits” months. This name makes no sense, as the credits - which are very different from cinematic credits - usually appear at the start of a comic book. So there’s always stuff after the credits! Obviously, the book was attempting to replicate the tactic used by Marvel Studios, where short little teasers appear at the very end of the movie. This forces people to sit through the credits, seeing the names of everyone who worked on the movie, and also provides a neat preview of the next adventure or a cute little joke. In a comic book, it just means an extra page in the very back of the book. Which you can flip to with minimal effort. So, for many reasons, “After the Credits” month was definitely one of the dumber gimmicks Archie would employ.

Issue 62 is the final part of “Shadow Fall.” Shadow confronts Black Death, hoping to defeat the leader of the Black Arms hive mind. Deeper within the comet, Rouge and Omega search for the nuclear bomb meant to destroy it. Eclipse the Darkling appears before them, determined to stop them from destroying the last remnants of his species. Even after the villains are defeated, there’s the issue of getting off the massive comet before it explodes.

Most of “Shadow Fall” has been devoted to fight scenes of varying types. Its final part is no different. Shadow fights Black Death. The alien psychically opens small portals, tossing meteorites at Shadow. Shadow responds by taking off his inhibitor rings, unleashing the full wrath of his powers. Meanwhile, Omega pelts Eclipse with heavy fire. This enrages the alien to the point that he transforms into a giant super-form. As much pomp and circumstance as these fights have, both conclude in underwhelming fashion. Shadow does some sort of super attack, bathing the whole room in fire. This incinerates Black Death so quickly you wonder why he just didn’t do that in the first place. Eclipse, meanwhile, can only maintain his pumped-up form for a few minutes. So Omega just has to survive a few rounds of punching and Eclipse deals with himself.

The fight scenes end weakly but this issue has other things worth recommending. For the first time, Flynn makes us care about Eclipse. First, he confronts Omega with one of those giant Black Arm soldiers. The robot kills the brute in seconds. Seeing this, his brother killed so cruelly and quickly, brings him to tears. This establishes the new villain as someone with feelings, personal connections. He doesn’t see the Black Arms as just his race but his family. So his struggle is made a little more personal, making him a deeper character. He’s not just trying to conquer Earth because that’s what evil aliens do. He’s protecting what he loves. It’s a little moment but it makes all the difference. You really should have led with that, Flynn.

That’s not the only time this issue reminds us that these cartoon rats running around are actual characters, with histories and personalities. During his battle with Black Death, Shadow takes a minute to have a psychic phone call with Rouge. The bat informs him that they’re about to activate the nuke, that he has a limited amount of time to kill the bad guy and get out of there. Not only does Rouge care about Shadow but the little smile he makes proves he cares about her. She cares if he lives or dies and that makes Shadow more invested in his own life. The cast actually having meaningful connections makes us way more invested in their fates. Go figure!

Flynn even manages to engineer a mildly suspenseful ending. Black Death is dead. Eclipse is defeated. But the entire comet is about to about to explode. Shadow has to run through the entire comet, in hopes of reaching Rouge’s shuttle in time. The comic even has the time counting down on panel, which is a good way to build suspense. Naturally, Shadow makes it out. But the way it’s portrayed - he Chaos Controls onto the shuttle minutes after the comet is nuked - is a nice touch.

Despite the clear improvements this issue makes over the previous three, it’s still stymied by some contrived, video game bullshit. The boring-ass space marines are still floating around. The issue only devotes a few panels to them, seemingly aware of how little they brought to the story. (And making you wonder why they were included in the first place.) Eclipse’s super form is ridiculous looking, the little guy expanding to Schwarzeneggerian proportions in seconds. Once Black Death is killed, all the other Black Arms soldiers fall over dead. He’s a classical load-bearing villain, the kind of logic that works fine in a video game but just seems like poor planning in an actual narrative. He couldn’t have psychically transferred those duties to Eclipse at the last minute or something? At least make sure the rest of the Black Arms go down fighting.

The last part of “Shadow Fall” injects a little feeling into what’s otherwise been an exercise in expanding Sega’s lame-ass lore. That help takes what’s been a painfully dull story arc out on a slightly higher note. Still, the issue is hampered by many of the same problems that have faced the rebooted “Sonic Universe” thus far. I remember it being quite a while before this spin-off finally gets back on its feet again. [6/10]

Sonic Universe: Issue 61

Sonic Universe: Issue 61
Publication Date: February 2014

It could not be more obvious that Ian Flynn had high hopes for Eclispe the Darkling. He has a prominent placement in issue 61’s cover, doing a weird lunge thing over Team Dark’s shoulder. The next issue would devote its variant cover entirely to Eclispe, giving him one of those cool Rafa Knight digital renders. And I can certainly understand the desire to give Shadow the Hedgehog, one of this franchise’s star characters no matter how I feel about it, his own archenemy. Yet I wish he had come up with something more inspired than what looks like an alien-ized pallet swipe of Shadow, who has yet to display much in the way of personality. But I guessed it worked because Eclipse seems to be fairly popular among the “preboot Archie Sonic was never good” crowd.

Part three of “Shadow Fall” is subtitled “A Matter of Trust,” because an arc full of machine guns and man-eating aliens was just crying out for a Billy Joel reference. The issue begins with the still brainwashed Shadow fighting with the other team members of Team Dark. They quickly undo his mind-control and revert him to normal. Meanwhile, Eclispe successfully subdues and captures the remaining members of Spider Troupe. Team Dark heads deeper into the Comet to rescue the soldiers and stop the Black Arms once and for all.

The main thrust of “A Matter Of Trust” involves Shadow overcoming his brainwashing with the help of his friends. This plays out in an underwhelming fashion. After rumbling with him for a while, Omega and Rouge pin Shadow down. The bat essentially nags at him until he gets better, just the suggestion of mentioning Maria apparently being enough to knock Shadow out of his evil-influenced stupor. This not only suggests that Black Death’s mind control is ludicrously weak, it also draws attention to how artificial the entire plot point of Shadow being forced to fight his teammates was.

However, I’ll give issue 61 this much: After wrapping that sequence up, Team Dark gets down to the business of taking out the Black Comet. Shadow’s renewed connection with the aliens allows him to navigate the comet more effectively. With all the inter-team bickering and evil manipulation out of the way, the comic’s plot can finally start actually moving. While I know some people are invested in this aliens bullshit, I imagine most readers were drawn to this arc because they want to see Team Dark working together and kicking ass. Issue 61 finally delivers on that.

Of course, the alien stuff still takes up a large portion of this comic book. Part three of “Shadow Fall” really draws attention to how much the Black Arms kind of suck at their job. Eclipse uses his teleportation to easily disarm the reminder of the space marines. He’s going to kill them but Black Death instructs him not too. He tells them to save the humans as food for the next generation of aliens, who are hanging out in knock-off xenomorph eggs. It seems to me that eliminating the threat to the eggs is more pertinent than feeding them, especially since they haven’t even hatched yet. Why not let Eclipse kill the intruders and throw the nuke out the nearest air lock? Once they land on Earth, the Black Arms will have plenty of food anyway.

Of course, we all know the real reason the space marines are left alive. This is still a kids book, no matter how faux-tough and gritty it wants to appear. Showing the bad guy just killing everybody, even if that makes the most sense, would be beyond the pale. Flynn’s methods just draws attention to how contrived Black Death’s reasoning is. The story has to continue towards its inevitable showdown, even if there are half-a-dozen points before then where things could have been resolved. This whole story arc has been hampered by clumsy plotting like that.

Also clumsy: A flashback where Abraham Tower tells Rouge and Omega to take Shadow out, that his connection to the Black Arms is too great, that he’s too dangerous to have around. That’s another obviously artificially engineered bit of tension, since we know Shadow’s friends aren’t going to kill him. At least that leads to plenty of scenes of Rogue and Omega interacting. As always, the giant robot’s often stated desire to blow everything up is frequently amusing. He’s also given some more frankly hilarious sound effects, though I’m not sure if those were suppose to make me laugh.

So part three of “Shadow Fall” is slightly better than the two parts before it. But only slightly. The plot is still full of contrivances and other bullshit like that. At least the story actually feels like it’s starting to go somewhere now, one whole issue away from the end. Mostly, I’m still just waiting for this thing to end. (Which it won’t actually do for another nine issues, since this arc was merely the first half of the “Dark Trilogy.” Ugggggh.) [5/10]

Sonic Universe: Issue 59

Sonic Universe: Issue 59
Publication Date: December 2013

As a spin-off, “Sonic Universe” always had a delicate balance to maintain. It seems to me that Sega and/or Archie would rarely approve a storyline if it didn’t star a character from the video games. Over the course of its 94 issue run, only four arcs starred characters primarily from the comic. It seems crazy to me that the fucking Babylon Rogues got a “Sonic Universe” arc before Bunnie or Lupe or someone we actually give a shit about like that. (A Freedom Fighters-centric arc was announced right before the book was canceled, of course.)

Only one of these Archie-centric arcs was published after the reboot. I have no proof that Sega demanded “Universe” focus more on their product after the reboot or if Archie was just hedging it’s bets after a shaky reboot. Either way, it sure seems like we’re going to see a lot of Shadow and Knuckles within the next year. The first of these arcs was “Shadow Fall” published through issue 59 to 62 of “Sonic Universe.” Fans seem to like this one well enough but, guess what?, I fucking hate it.

Part one of “Shadow Fall,” “Into the Unknown,” begins with G.U.N. deploying Team Dark and a bunch of random humanoid soldiers on a secret mission. It seems the Black Arms, those nasty aliens that helped Dr. Gerald create Shadow, are back on their way to Earth or whatever the fuck this planet is called now. The team’s goal is to plant a nuke on the Arms’ comet and blow the shit out of it, before the planet’s populace even notices. As the group enters the craft, Shadow begins to suspect they could be walking into a trap. Uh-duh, he’s right.

Upon opening this comic book, the main thought in my head is “What the fuck am I reading?” This is a “Sonic the Hedgehog” comic book?! Within the first couple pages, we see a bunch of generic space marine types fighting really badly designed alien creatures aboard some sort of bio-organic comet or something. There’s a huge mech thing there too. Shadow, Rouge, and Omega could not look more out of place with these guys. It’s like the “Sonic” gang was suddenly picked up and dropped into a shitty adaptation of “Gears of Wars” or the “Doom” movie. It reads more like sloppy fan fiction, a crossover throw together by an overly enthusiastic fanboy with little care for whether it made sense or not. This is very far removed from the general aesthetic of the series, especially post-reboot, and the contrast stings badly.

See, this is the problem with abandoning twenty years’ worth of comic book lore and replacing it with whatever the fuck stupid garbage Sega had been vomiting up over the last decade. Previously, the Black Arms were some mysterious, off-panel alien race. Prior to this, the “Shadow the Hedgehog” game was considered such a toxic misstep that Sega forbid the comic from giving its plot points anything but a passing mention. And I was perfectly fine with this. The “Shadow” game was a poopy piece of poop that I played for twenty minutes and then immediately returned to Blockbuster. Shadow didn’t need to be a half-alien creation that rode a motorcycle and wielded machine guns. I was content with the kind of interesting character the comic had turned him into in its place.

Now, the comic has had its history suddenly torn away from it. With nothing else to build on, the comic has to acknowledge the previously off-limits video game stuff. So I hope you’re an expert in the lore of the “Shadow the Hedgehog” video game, because this entire story line is build upon it. This is not a continuation of the comic I’ve been reading almost my whole life. It’s a sequel to a video game I can barely remember playing, one that almost everyone can agree wasn’t very good. Once again, it’s just another example of how slap-dashed and poorly planned the reboot was. I can’t have been the only long time reader of the comic that was totally ambivalent to what Sega has turned the “Sonic” franchise into in the intervening years. But storylines like this, that banked hard towards the video game crowd, completely alienate me and everyone like me.

I mean, that’s fanboy bitching about how the comic changed and we fear change. More pressingly, the Black Arms and G.U.N.’s soldier boys just fucking suck. First off, the Black Arms are badly designed. They’re these brown and red muscle monsters with goofy, pudgy little heads shoved onto their beefy shoulders. They wield swords and rocks against enemies with machine guns and nuclear bombs. There’s no consistency across the species, as other members of the race are flying bat things or floating humanoids. Their master plan - paralyze an entire planet and then eat everyone on it - is the sort of simplistic motivation you’d expect a child playing with their action figures to come up with. They’re a watered down, warmed over versions of the alien villains that have appeared in various sci-if video games, like “Halo” or the aforementioned “Gears of Wars.” Which, in turn, were basically rip-offs of “Aliens” and Robert Heinlein’s “Starship Troopers.”

As for the space marines, they are assholes to Shadow. They constantly refer to him with derogatory nicknames. This suggests something sort of interesting, that Mobians or whatever we call the furry animal people now, face prejudice from the humans they share their planet with. Except we will see no further evidence of this anywhere else in the reboot. (And I just really fucking hate to see “Sonic” characters interact with actual humans but that’s a topic I’ll rant about more at a future date.) Generally speaking, most of the soldiers have no personality, providing the reader with no reason to give a shit about any of them. I’ll say the same thing about the named Black Arms members we see here, like Black Death, who is just a generic evil thing.

Also, the plot for this one just sort of sucks in general. After the G.U.N. ship lands on the Black Comet, there’s a very underwhelming action sequence of the heroes quickly clipping through the aliens. It’s really obvious that Flynn is not comfortable writing this kind of stuff, as there’s no passion or urgency to these scenes. (They are also, of course, curiously bloodless.) After that, Shadow spends the rest of the issue telling everyone they’re walking into a trap. The team then walks into a trap. Simply put, there’s no tension here. It just feels like the plot is going through the motions. After that, Flynn introduces Eclipse the Darkling, his attempt to give Shadow an arch-enemy, making the proceeding nineteen pages feel like limp set-up for the story the writer actually wants to tell.

With such a drought of anything resembling compelling conflict, interesting characters, or even fuzzy nostalgia to hook the readers, what does this issue give us to latch on to? Well, Shadow is going through some stuff. Despite dedicating himself to protecting the world a while ago, he still feels a lingering connection to the Black Arms. This is exacerbated by the increasing isolation he feels from the humans and his team mates and a failed attempt to bond with the alien ship. When the soldiers hull out the thermo-nuclear butt plug, Shadow wonders if committing genocide against the Black Arms isn’t too extreme a measure. A hero being torn between two warring factions is, I guess, something kind of juicy for the reader to chew on. But that’s about it.

I hope you’re not reading this book because you’re a fan of the other members of Team Dark. Rouge and Omega get next to nothing to do. Omega is mostly comic relief, his love of destruction and explosives used for a few one-liners. He isn’t even seen that much in the action scenes, which seems like a real wasted opportunity. Rouge gets even less to do. She chitchats with Shadow a little about the aliens and delivers some exposition. I don’t even really understand why she’s here. I love Rouge but I can’t imagine she’d be that useful on an cosmic trip to destroy a horde of cannibalistic aliens.

The artwork is pretty good, I guess. Jamal Peppers knows his story stuff. However, once again, it feels like he’s aping Yardley instead of doing his own thing. I much preferred his earlier illustrations. As for the issue, it’s just bad, man. Oh, and did I mention this is part of a twelve issue “trilogy” of stories that takes up practically all of 2014? This part of the retrospective is going to fucking suck. [4/10]