Chao Tales

Chao Tales

Original Release Date: April 3rd, 2025

I thought I was done talking about miscellaneous "Sonic the Hedgehog" animation but then Sega had to go and draw my attention to something I didn't know previously existed. Here in 2025, if the last few months of reviews haven't made it clear, "Sonic the Hedgehog" exists as much as a social media brand as a video game franchise. The games, the comics, the cartoons, the movies, the officially licensed SquishMellows and everything else is almost secondary to the actual goal of the series these days: To make sure people, young and old and younger and older yet, never forget about Sonic the Hedgehog. Every proponent of the blue hedgehog's existence now has no further goal than to propagate itself. Social media is where we all spend a large part of our lives now, the digital town square becoming just as real as the actual communities we live in. (Maybe more, in some cases.) This means "Sonic the Hedgehog," as a brand, must have a social media presence. I would say Sega's ability to infiltrate these spaces is the main reason the blue hedgehog stock has risen a lot in the last decade or so. It is not enough for Sonic to only be a new video game release once or twice a year. A monthly comic, a cartoon or TV show or movie every few years, will not suffice. To make sure somebody, somewhere, is always talking about Sonic the Hedgehog means new stuff arriving across multiple different platforms at a machine gun pace. 

This is my long-winded way of saying that uploading little animations and skits and updates to YouTube, Twitter, TikTok and whatever else is how this series stays alive in today's world. Almost everything I've discussed in this loosely linked retrospective of "Sonic" animation left-overs has been part of this new wave of brand awareness. Previously, I looked a little at Sega of Japan trying their hand at breaking into the micro-video format that is so popular online these days with "Sonic & Friends." More recently, the American branch has done something similar. Little one-minute long pieces of animation entitled "Chao Tales" started popping up on the official "Sonic" channels on any platform that supports short video contents. "Chao Tales" is the first piece of traditionally animated "Sonic" media produced exclusively for this format, evident by each episode originally being uploaded in the narrow aspect ratio common to such things. Yes, "Chao Tales" has the dubious distinction of being the first drawn "Sonic" thing designed to be viewed in Portrait Mode. What a time to be alive. Presumably for the benefit of old foggies like me, all eight episodes were recently uploaded to Youtube in glorious wide-screen, so I can trick myself into thinking I'm watching an actual TV show and not a fuckin' Instagram reel. 

Yes, once again, I am forced to talk about Chao, those little water drop shaped baby things that everybody but me loves. Every two episodes of "Chao Tales" is set in a different season, beginning in spring and ending in the winter. It depicts Sonic discovering and then visiting a peaceful Chao garden in the woods, whenever he feels like it, I guess. Among the residents is a Shadow Chao that the Sonic Wiki describes as "bossy," "a trickster," "greedy," prideful and prone to shenanigans. As Sonic chills with these squishy entities, playing music and sharing apples and bringing animal friends, he helps them do the thing their lives seemingly revolve around: The rearing of yet more Chao eggs. That dovetails nicely with, in the winter, Eggman choosing this patch of trees for deforestation, forcing Sonic to team up with the Chao and defend their home. 

Ya wanna know what the main question I had after watching all eight parts of "Chao Tales" was?: Why is the Shadow Chao such an asshole? In the first few bits of animation that make up this series, the Shadow Chao tries to break an unhatched egg, steals food from his fellow baby-ish brethren, hordes magical upgrades from the visiting animals, and attempts to disrupt their musical frolic. During a race and a training session, the Chao shows a need to prove himself better than the other critters. This causes me to ponder on the mental development of these weird little fluff creatures. When you see a little kid in a pre-school class or whatever acting this way – stealing, starting fights, being a general prick to the other children – the natural assumption is that there's trouble at home. His or her parents are abusive, neglectful, argumentative or overly indulging. Some kids are natural troublemakers, sure. Many of them have neurological patterns, that probably won't be diagnosed until later in life, that make them prone to impulsive or antisocial behavior. I fall squarely on the nurture side of this ages-long debate. In my experience, in my own life and when observing other people's kids, I believe most behavior is learned behavior. And kids, especially at that age, learn most everything they know from their parents. This is why my older half-sister told her kindergarten teacher, when everyone in class was prompted to share Mommy and Daddy's real names, that our mother's name was "Bitch." That's what her dad – not my dad, a different asshole – most frequently called our mom.

The point I'm making is: Most problem children don't act that way for no reason. To quote the slaves in Willy Wonka's factory: You know exactly who to blame, the mother and the faaaathheerrrrr. Which brings me to the obvious, confusing point: Chao don't have parents. Eggs appear asexually, seemingly through some kind of magical ritual. They do change and react to the people they interact with and how they are treated. The implication does seem to be that this is the first time Sonic has met these Chao, leading one to wonder if they've had any contact with outside life at all. My limited knowledge of Chao biology makes me believe that a Shadow Chao has to have some sort of contact with Shadow, inheriting aspects of his personality somehow. There have been multiple Shadow Chao across the "Sonic" franchise though. Are we to assume that Shadow has personally rubbed up against every Shadow Chao around? I guess being a mini-me of Shadow might explain why this little guy is such a jerk. However, I remain left with many questions about how any of this works, much less how these drippy Pokémon things cognitively develop. I also think they live forever but never age out of the toddler stage, so maybe they don't develop at all. Maybe it's a stupid video game cartoon and I shouldn't think this hard about it. 

Describing this badly behaved Chao as "a trickster" suggests he's some sort of Anansi figure. A confident con man who gets one over on people from time to time but is always humbled in the end. You really only see this in one of the episodes, the third installment where the Shadow Chao tries to absorb so many features and powers from the surrounding animals that he eventually collapses under the weight of all his new upgrades. Otherwise, the moral here is much more general. Sonic is teaching the kids to share, to play fair in contests, to stand up for themselves and rely on each other. By the end, the idea goes, we are supposed to like the little goth Chao and he'll no longer be an asshole but a valued member of his community. Because these cartoons are all a minute long, we never get much of a sense of character development. In fact, it feels like most of the personal growth happens off-screen, in between installments. The leap between this guy being a selfish, destructive little gremlin in the first episode and a brave little hero in the last feels unearned. 

Evan Stanley directed this entire series, following a definite trend in her association with the "Sonic" franchise of being fond of the tiny freak babies. Every "Sonic" fan writer/artist that has graduate to officially working on the series has left their own marks, giving you an idea of what their personal vision for the speedy hedgehog franchise is. Tyson Hesse's cartoons and comics represent his absurd sense of humor, a simpler and wackier understanding of the characters, and lots of frenetic action. Ian Flynn is obsessed with backstory and history, loving to dig up obscure tidbits he can stitch into more of a narrative whole. He fleshes out the world and tends to flesh out the characters too, probably being the best at actually giving these video game mascots depth. "Chao Tales" perhaps gives us the clearest idea of what Evan Stanley wants "Sonic" to be. For most of the eight episodes, this is an exceptionally laid back story. Sonic spends more time napping and chilling in a tree than he does fighting supervillains over the eight minutes or so. The conflict is the stuff of schoolyard playgrounds, of little kid-like figures having low stake interactions in which they ultimately learn a tidy lesson that can be applied to other situations in their lives. Sonic himself feels oddly static in "Chao Tales." He's treated like a mentor figure, idealized and far off, ultimately unknowable. Meanwhile, the Chao have their little misunderstandings and problems but they can all work out it. It reminds me of Surge venting her personal problems at Sonic in one IDW issue, while trying to kill him, only for the tenrec to accepted onto the team shortly afterwards. 

The impression I get is that Stanley is in-love with the aesthetics of "Sonic" as a franchise. Ultimately, she thinks of this hedgehog's world as an idealized one, with a status quo of Eden-esque tranquility. Except, obviously, this is also an action series and anime fight scenes must occur. These two needs run into each other in the last two episodes, when Eggman appears to chop down the forest, forcing Sonic and his new friends into action. The result is "Chao Tales" feels like a totally relaxed environment up until it suddenly isn't. This climax is narratively sound, following a structure that should work. The Shadow Chao starts out as one thing, experiences events that change him, and come out on the other side as something else. He's a jerk at the beginning and a hero at the end, fighting alongside Sonic. Something about the execution feels hollow though, too cutesy, too vague. Mechanical when it should be personable. 

All throughout "Chao Tales," I couldn't help but mentally compare it to "Sonic & Friends," the previous attempts to give these characters a home on a short-form video sight. The CGI, Japanese show is ultimately mindless drivel, bright sounds and noises that convey nothing of significance at all. Whenever it did pause to resemble a story, it felt like the kind of plots that those chat-bots CEOs are burning down the planet for could excrete. Obviously, "Chao Tales" is better than that. It's made with traditional animation, so it looks far more appealing than the dead-eyed digital homunculi of the TikTok show. It's not as detailed, smooth, energetic, or beautiful as "Sonic Mania Adventures" or the "Sonic Superstars" cartoon Stanley previously did. However, the colors are bright and warm. The characters move in mostly expressive and fluid ways. The environments and models are charming and likable. I would say "Chao Tales" looks like a really good episode of "Sonic X," like one of the higher budget moments stretched out for eight relative minutes.  

Obviously, I much prefer this over "Sonic & Friends." There's an actual sense of art and soul put into this. The fact that I can tell something about Evan Stanley from watching this proves it has more value than the meaningless noises and distraction that is the other series. However, I can't beat the impression that "Chao Tales" is moving in a similar direction. It wants everything to simple and round and pleasant and cute and in a bite-sized package that can be easily consumed, without generating any unsettling thoughts or feelings in the consumer. That's not what I want "Sonic the Hedgehog" to be. It's entirely possible I'm thinking too hard about a cute little cartoon made to get some hearts or upvotes or likes or whatever. It's not bad, not totally artless, but it still feels like an attempt to push this franchise towards a rather boring place. Or maybe the ugly, naked merchandising opportunities that the Chao represent simply puts me in a bad mood. Eh. [6/10]

Sonic Superstars: Trio of Trouble

Sonic Superstars: Trio of Trouble 

Original Release Date: September 20th, 2023

One thing few "Sonic the Hedgehog" fans can actually agree on is which, if any, of the games are good. This constant storm of what titles are currently favored by the fandom – dependent largely on what game was the newest during the majority of the fandom's childhood – is always changing. "Sonic Superstars" seems to be, as a relatively recent release, regarded mostly as a disappointment. Nobody seems to think the game is an atrocity or anything. The general consensus is that it's merely okay and, most damningly, not as good as "Sonic Mania." But I've seen "Sonic" nerds try and reclaim titles that were, when new, considered franchise ending flops. "Sonic '06" revisionism is common place now. The Werehog has gone from being a widely loathed premise to a fan favorite among some. I've seen people go to bat for "Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric." The point I'm making is: "Sonic Superstars," your time will come. Give it a decade and the kids who played it now will look back on it fondly as a landmark entry in the series.

Regardless of what you think of the new "Sonic" games that come out, Sega and everyone else at least knows one thing will be a hit: The animated short posted to YouTube to promote the game, usually directed in some capacity by Tyson Hesse. I think I've praised almost everyone of these that have come out and I'm clearly not the only one. They wouldn't keep making them if people didn't like them! Naturally, "Sonic Superstars" was accompanied by such an animated short as well. "Sonic Superstars: Trio of Trouble" would arrive on YouTube about a month before the game actually came out. Hesse, I guess being busy as an executive producer on the live action movies, would only co-direct "Trio of Trouble." Another graduate of the comic books assumed primary leadership, with Evan Stanley getting the top credit. Ian Flynn provided the script, once again proving that this group of fan creators used the comic book as a launching pad to infect as many corners of the "Sonic" brand as they could.

Acting as a prequel to "Superstars," "Trio of Trouble" begins with Fang the Hunter coming into conflict with Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy. They trash his ass and the jerboa awakens, revealing the entire incident as a nightmare he was having. In actually, he is accompanying Eggman as he is led through some ruins on the Northstar Islands by Trip the Sungazer. While the doctor is enamored of some ominous hieroglyphics, Fang and Trip run afoul of a bunch of ancient booby traps and a large, ill-tempered snake. Fang proves surprisingly useful when confronting the snake, having seemingly learned from past failures.  

I think of Nack the Weasel/Fang the Hunter/Fang the Sniper/the Amazing Purple Whatsit as a classic "Sonic" character. Obviously because I'm old enough to remember when he debuted and because he's been a regular presence in the comic books for years. I realized this is not true for a lot of people who probably consider Fang a footnote at most or were basically introduced to him by "Superstars." Nevertheless, I am surprised that "Trio of Trouble" represents his first appearance in animation. It truly goes to show that most of the early animated media ignored the games while Sega truly treated "Sonic Adventure" as a reboot and a license to ignore everything that came out before 1999. I think, on some level, I was obviously aware of the fact that Fang had never popped up in a cartoon before. Of course I knew that. It's still surprising to consider though. You would've thought that this minor antagonist, that's been a part of the series since 1994, would've shown up in a cartoon at some point before 2023. Goes to show that a lot of "Sonic" media has gone unmined. 

Despite "Superstars" acting as many younger fans' first brush with Fang, his arc in the game oddly depends on being familiar with his history. Namely, the fact that he's kind of a joke, who always gets thrashed by Sonic and friends and never poses much of a serious threat. This was addressed a lot in the comic mini-series devoted to him, released around this time. It also comes up in this short. The opening dream sequence shows that Fang is used to suffering humiliating defeats at the hands of Sonic and friends. In the course of the five minute cartoon, he proves that he actually does know what he's doing sometimes. One of the embarrassing mishaps in his dream – which I guess is also a memory – has the Marvelous Queen deploying a big drill and spinning around. Fang used this same tactic to help defeat the big snake here. Once again, it shows that a major part of "Sonic Superstars'" agenda was rehabilitating Fang's reputation, both in and out of universe. I guess this is a more interesting gimmick to give the character, rather than him being an all-purpose goon for hire. 

Trip doesn't have nearly as much to do in this animation. Most of her character development was destined to happen in the actual video game. This cartoon exists to prompt you to go out and buy the game, obviously. Considering she spends all of this short – and most of the media that came out ahead of the game – in her identity obscuring armor, I think the idea is to intentionally make us wonder what this newbie's deal is. Are they genuinely malevolent or are they only being tricked into working with Eggman, like so many characters before them? "Trio of Trouble" does hint at Trip's true nature. As Eggman moves through the ruins, he carelessly stomps on a pretty flower Trip had been admiring for a minute. After the big purple snake is lassoed, she walks over and tenderly rubs its head. Both of these moments exists to hint at Trip's true nature, as a gentle soul who loves and respects nature, that has merely been misled into aligning with the bad guys.

Part of why these shorts are always so anticipated is because they typically look gorgeous. "Trio of Trouble" is no different in that regard. The opening dream sequence – an excuse to get Sonic and the gang into this cartoon that otherwise doesn't feature them – is full of dynamic shots. Such as Sonic running along the interior of a dome while Tails hovers behind him. That scene ends with close-ups of Sonic and the other heroes with demonic features, similar to a trick Hesse threw in when drawing those Werehog Archie issues. That dynamism returns during the second half, when Fang and Trip are running from the giant snake. The shots of the Marvelous Queen deploying it's various weapons and gadgets are so lovingly animated. Who ever did the mechanical design on this cartoon clearly had a great time with it. 

It's also notable how well lit this cartoon is. The first shot of Sonic spin-dashing around a pillar and into a halo of sunlight is so cool. This proceeds Fang standing before a glorious sunset, while an Ennio Morricone style sting plays on the soundtrack. That points towards the spaghetti western inspired feel for this segment, with its sun-bathed, delicately shadowed visuals. Once the story proper starts, set entirely within those spooky ruins, the use of shadows and stray beams of light continues, establishing a mysterious, slightly ominous feeling to this setting. All of that is before the softly glowing, bioluminescent mushroom, which is always a cool addition to any set of old ruins. In other words, "Trio of Trouble" looks fantastic. The sheer amount of love the animators had these characters and their world is evident in every frame of its brief runtime. 

With Evan Stanley having top-billing on the directorial credit, and Tyson Hesse only getting a co-director nod, I don't know who did the majority of the work on this. If Stanley did most of the story boards and Hesse helped her out on a few shots. Or if Hesse did all of the storyboards while Evan headed off animation. The majority of "Trio of Trouble" certainly looks like Hesse's work on his prior "Sonic" animations. It's not as loose and silly as "Sonic Mania Adventures" but some of those trademark goofy faces – like Fang's eyes turning into little spirals whenever he's dizzy – do crop up. Small details, such as Trip getting stuck between spikes emerging from the temple walls and dangling there for a second, remind me of the tiny, character-establishing touches Hesse is fond of including. The characterization of Eggman here, as a goofy little guy who draws a childish scribble of "Superstars" double secret final boss, also recalls Tyson's work on the Archie "Mega-Drive" one-shots. Having said all of that, "Trio of Trouble" is slightly moodier looking and more focused on maintaining the trademark, Sega-approved designs of these characters than Hesse typically is. This suggests to me that Stanley probably had more to do with the look of this cartoon than I'm giving her credit for. There I go, being a typically sexist member of the patriarchy and downplaying a woman's contribution in favor of propping up another man. 

Anyway, "Sonic Superstars: Trio of Trouble" is a lot of fun. It's not the sheer mega-blast of goofy, nostalgic glee that "Sonic Mania Adventures" was. Nor does it give the impression "Sonic Frontiers Prologue: Divergence" did, of attempting to elevate a silly little promotional short into a serious work of art. Despite that, this is still a very well done, absolutely cute, quite lovely to look at little short. I don't think we are ever going to get a "Sonic" animated series or feature that looks this consistently gorgeous. I'm thankful Sega lends the time and money necessary to a group of very talented artists to create these beautiful, little cartoons. [8/10] 

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 75

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 75

Publication Date: December 18th, 2024

As 2024 comes to a close, and the “Sonic” franchise hits another big milestone with the release of its third theatrical big budget movie, a much smaller part of the multi-media franchise has another reason to celebrate. The IDW “Sonic the Hedgehog” comic has reached 75 issues, being in publication for over six years. Once you factor in the various mini-series and one-shots, IDW has definitely published over a hundred “Sonic” related comic books. That’s no small feat for a licensed comic book in this day and age, when the non-DC/Marvel publishers can easily go under and books can get unceremoniously canned for whatever reason. In other words: Assuming there are no massive fuck-ups on IDW’s behalf, or the entire American comic industry goes kaput, the “new” “Sonic” comic is well on its way to being as much of a long-runner as the old “Sonic” comic. I can certainly complain about how IDW’s comic still doesn’t seem as fleshed-out or expansive as Archie’s universe did by this point… By now, however, I’m willing to chalk this opinion up to me being old. The kids who are growing up with IDW “Sonic” probably consider this series as beloved and compelling as I did with the nineties comics at that age. 

Issue 75 is also the much long await – by me anyway – conclusion to the Clean Sweepstakes story arc, playing out over a double-length issue. Deep within the heart of Clutch’s air ship, Tails, Amy, Belle, the Chaotix and a few other people attempt to escape the engine room as the entire vessel is on the verge of exploding. Sonic races to the deck of the ship to face Clutch one on one, soon being joined by Surge, Kit, and another unexpected ally. The Babylon Rogues lead an impromptu rescue mission to prevent the massive ship from crashing right into Central City and killing untold numbers of people. The Diamond Cutters, meanwhile, realize that “Duo the Cat” is actually the shapeshifter Mimic, Lanolin finally putting aside her differences with Tangle and Whisper. It all wraps up in a giant fireball at Restoration HQ. 

Issue 75 starts with a decent idea. The self destruct sequence on the air ship has been started. This means all of the heroes aboard the boat have an ever-shrinking window to escape before it explodes. That’s a good way to keep the suspense high in the final leg of a storyline. Unfortunately, Evan Stanley does not stop there. This is a flying ship after all, meaning it’s plummeting towards the city. Before the issue is over, the flying race-track also begins to fall out of the sky. In the last third, the focus turns towards Sonic and Jet racing to get as many people out of Restoration HQ as they can before it also blows up. In other words, issue 75 begins with the characters on one deadline before continuously adding several more. It plays like a desperate attempt to keep the intensity rising. 

What it mostly ends up doing is making this comic book feel like it’ll never end. Typically speaking, a dramatic countdown to a big-ass explosion marks the story heading towards its most exciting moment. That’s what it meant in “Alien,” for one prominent example. However, this comic book repeatedly trying to outdo itself mostly means the story feels like it has about three different climaxes. Sonic, Surge, and Kit have a big fight with Clutch aboard the deck of the ship. Would that be where you’d expect this story to end? Instead, the threat of the air ship crashing and exploding takes precedence. Surely, that would represent the end of this particular plot? What’s more exciting than a big-ass thing going up in a big-ass explosion? Instead, the focus then shifts towards the rescue mission of all the Restoration staff, which hits a few snags of its own. 

Maybe Stanley giving this issue multiple logical end points before moving on to another is because issue 75 isn’t only the conclusion to the Clean Sweepstakes arc. In a lot of ways, this installment feels like the writer trying to put as many plot points to rest as possible. After what feels like far too long, “Duo the Cat” is finally discovered to be Mimic. Before we’re done, Evan also has Belle repair her little MotoBug friend. I have the creeping feeling that editorial demands this storyline get stretched out to conclude in the anniversary issue. At the same time, I feel the same force demanding this one feature some big reveals, hence the above events. Obviously, in order to cram all this shit into one comic book, it means Stanley resorts to her worst habit as a writer: Having far too many characters involved in far too many situations, constantly cutting back and forth between them as much as possible. It does not make for the most organized feeling read. 

What further causes issue 75 to feel double-stuffed is that the comic isn’t only resolving multiple plot points across a story that keeps barreling towards bigger pyrotechnics. It also shoves in a few twists and teasers. Eggman inserts himself into this story, after being absent since the first part, in an extremely gimmicky fashion. Yeah, turns out the hovercraft he built Sonic is a fucking Transformer and this was all part of a long con to get back at Clutch. Meanwhile, Surge and Jet both separately promise to Sonic that they’ll resolve their rivalry at some unspoken future date. This occurs after Surge deploys a big special move of her own. Because that’s exactly what this storyline needed: More characters and more superpowers. It’s almost impressive that this particular arc has managed to feel both far too long and not nearly long enough. It’s dragged on for multiple issues while also shoving in one event and reveal after another, none of them feeling properly fleshed out.

At least it has an ending though. As much as the structure and pacing of this issue bugs me, at least we won’t have to deal with a few stupid plot points anymore. First off, all that convoluted Phantom Rider business and the corresponding race is finally, thankfully done for. This issue also puts the extremely dumb Duo the Cat storyline to bed. Not that the Diamond Cutters finally figure out the very obvious deception at play here. “Duo” forgot to turn off his cell phone and Clutch refers to him as “Mimic” in front of everyone, blowing his cover. This sequence also involves Lanolin realizing that she’s been acting like a bitch and apologizing. Whisper apologizes too, though I’m not really sure why she felt the need to. In fact, this comic has Surge and Jet both coming to agreements of sorts with Sonic. Somehow, time is also found her to have the Hippy Orangutan Mechanic be nice to Belle and presumably settle any tension between them. As if Stanley is desperate to have the fandom stop hating these characters that they’ve been trashing lately. (Okay, I don’t know if anyone else but me dislikes “Chief Mechanic” that much but, still, the point stands.) 

The end of the issue also seems to see Rough and Tumble joining the Restoration, or at least promising to be less evil in the future. If Stanley was going out of her way to provide some sort of redemptive moments for characters that have behaved badly, she does not extend that gesture to two other characters. No, Mimic remains as incapable of redemption as possible. Clutch, meanwhile, is painted as more of a bastard than before. He somehow proves to be a physical threat to Sonic and Surge, at least via implementing firearms of varying size. He also references having killed other heroes in the past. IDW has constantly emphasized the idea that nobody is beyond rehabilitation in Sonic’s eyes, to the point that he’s allowed Eggman to escape capture in the past. Surge and Kit are clearly working their way towards heel-face turns too, though they aren’t quite there yet. However, it seems that Stanley considers professional assassins and businessmen/mob bosses particularly beyond redemption. She wants you to know that these two son of bitches are too ruthless to ever change their ways.  

That these two villains are utterly unforgivable does feed into what is, I think, the moral of this particular issue. Jet and the Babylon Rogues don’t move the falling air ship single-handedly. They direct a bunch of citizens to pitch in, using their own flying vehicles to pull the ship out of the path of the city. There is an extremely awkward line of dialogue, where Nite declares “Power to the people!” This goes hand-in-hand with the final sequence, of Jet rushing into the burning base to rescue whoever he can. The obvious idea is, anyone that is willing to help other people can be a force for good. That means the average person can be “powerful” and a former scoundrel can turn over a new leaf. It’s a nice idea and all but feels somewhat shoved into an already overstuffed issue.

Let’s go back to Surge for a minute. Her progression, from villain with a grudge who wants to see the whole world burn to someone realizing it’s possible for them to be loved, has been the brightest spot among all the racing and double-crossing. The payoff to that particular arc ostensibly occurs when Surge helps beat the shit out of Clutch, after announcing that she’s quitting. She’s no longer going to let assholes talk her into doing stuff that’s against her heart, the same conclusion she came to after Starline bit the dust. However, Surge awkwardly exits the story after that incident and she’s not even the one who takes Clutch out. Instead, it seems as if Jet gets the moment that logically should be her’s. He puts aside his own petty goals – of beating Sonic in a race – for the greater good. He leads the charge to redirect the falling, about-to-explode cruiser from above the city. Sonic appeals to his ego and goads him into helping save everyone in the Restoration. In other words: Jet stops acting selfishly and starts doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do. It feels like that’s the direction Surge should have been going in, instead of limping away half-way through the issue. 

With all the talk of explosions, murder, and possible death, issue 75 strikes me as mostly a fairly grim one. Perhaps Stanley was aware of this too. To counter that, several scenes of wacky comedy is inserted throughout. Rough and Tumble realize they’ve been staying inside a cage that was already unlocked. Sonic splays against the windshield of the air ship. Clutch’s security team insists they are on their break when called to action before abruptly quitting. None of these moments made me chuckle. In fact, they struck me as feeling extremely out-of-place. When things are as intense as they are in this issue, wacky slapstick and jokes about the big dumb guys being dumb do not feel especially needed.  

It’s a frustrating end to what has been a frustrating storyline. Min Ko Him’s art is good, with lots of flowing action scenes and expressive faces. You can tell he really loved to draw that giant robot that randomly appears for a few pages. He also includes what I assume are more fan-made O.C.s in various crowd shots, including one that looks an awful lot like Old Man Owl from the OVA. The final page sets up events for the next issue to follow, presumably setting up the next storyline. Hopefully that one won’t stretch on for six issues nor be bogged down by the need to both include as many characters as possible and have them all contribute to the story somehow. We know “Sonic” has a hundred characters. We don’t need to see them all! Frankly, I’m glad to be done with the Clean Sweepstakes. Let us put away our Extreme Gear for a while, please. [5/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 74

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 74

Publication Date: October 30th

In various places around the internet, both here and elsewhere, I've talked about the benefits and detriments of serialization in storytelling. In the modern age of comic books, serialization is the rule of the land. Few stories are allowed to stand alone and every comic connects to the next one. Telling a story across multiple issues is usually a good thing. It is certainly healthier for world-building and character development. However, sometimes you truly do feel the weight of someone Writing for the Trade doing a disservice to the monthly installments. 

We see that keenly in issue #74 of IDW'S "Sonic the Hedgehog." The tangled mess of incidents and subplots that comprise the Clean Sweepstakes arc battle for dominance here. Amy, Tails, Belle, and the Chaotix fight with Clutch's forces deep within his ship. Charmy manages to get away from the fight and hand Nite a thumb drive full of incriminating evidence against Clutch and Clean Sweeps. He broadcast it to the public and Clutch, in desperation, looses his damn mind and decides to crash his massive flying fortress into the stands full of people. Sonic races off to save the day while everyone else argues among themselves. The issue then ends abruptly. 

Do you see the problem here? This is not a satisfying comic book to read on its own. This is a graphic novel chopped up into chapters, ending at almost random points. I certainly don't expect this comic book to tell a whole story in each issue but it would be nice if so many of IDW's individual floppies didn't feel like advertisements for the next installment. #74 is made up entirely of connective tissue between story beats. We're transferring from the end of the second act to the third here and, boy, can we feel it. Rather than a natural evolution of the story so far, this plays like a prologue to the next episode, when the really exciting stuff is going to happen. It says a lot about how out-of-whack the pacing for this arc has been, when an issue full of as much action and dramatic reveals as this one still feels so narratively inert. 

I know I ranted about this for most of the last review but the point still stands: Cutting back and forth between a bunch of different subplots does not a compelling story make. Evan does a slightly better job of juggling all these balls this time. Mostly because she focuses on one story strand for the majority of the issue. That would be the Chaotix and the others fighting Clutch and his eventual public exposing and breakdown. If the issue has been only about that, it probably would have made for a much more satisfying read. Instead, Stanley feels the need to check in on what everyone else is doing too. The race is seemingly called off but Jet refuses to let go of his petty rivalry with Sonic. Lanolin wants to bring Sonic to justice for his crimes as the Phantom Rider, while "Duo" reveals that Tangle and Whisper knew about it for a while. That happens solely so Mimic can cover his shifty ass, because the good guys still haven't noticed how obviously suspicious this dude is. Every time the story starts to build up a little momentum, it stops to give us a momentary update on some other thread. 

The biggest example of how badly this effects the overall flow of the comic is that Surge and Kit get a showcase scene, to remind us they still exist, where they don't actually do anything. They banter ominously with Duo/Mimic before staying in place, commenting on the action as it happens. Considering Surge's slow embracing of her better nature after becoming a fan favorite has been the best thing about this arc, it's frustrating that Stanley devotes a scene to these two that does nothing meaningful to move their development along. You do not get extra points simply for putting the good characters on the page! They have to actually do something for their appearance to mean anything. We all know Surge is a bad bitch who doesn't care what anyone thinks about her. (Despite actually really caring a lot.) Her picking her teeth and sitting around on her hover-bike while Clutch attempts a Colony Drop on the spectators doesn't add anything. This scene did serve one purpose though: It reminded me that Surge and Kit know "Duo" is Mimic, which I had forgotten about with everything else going on. She does this by calling him the humiliating nickname "Tentacles." Aww, I love it when Surge bullies the other kids. 

Let us step back and discuss another aspect of issue 74 though. From time to time, you see some jack-ass on social media claim that the "Sonic" franchise isn't politic. This is in defiance of the obvious environmental and anti authoritarian subtext that has been there since the first game. Evan Stanley, whether intentionally or not, does provide a big "fuck you" to that corner of the fandom with this scene. When the drive full of dirty laundry on Clutch and Clean Sweeps Inc. is revealed to the public, is it info about how Clutch is a former crime boss and has committed kidnapping, illegal imprisonment, and attempted murder within this issue alone? Not so much! Instead, the infodump focuses on Clean Sweep Inc. improperly dumping toxic waste, poisoning groundwater supplies and the air people breathe. Falsified records, extortion, and silencing whistleblowers, and using all their funds to manufacture weapons. In other words, it is revealed to the public at large that Clutch and his company have been participating not in comic book bad guy crimes but in regular, real world, corporate crime. That's right, kids. Clutch isn't a supervillain. He's something much worse: A capitalist! Maybe the Restoration should work on restoring some government agencies to provide regulations and laws that big companies are forced to follow...

I'm slightly surprised that a comic for little kids would go in this direction. I think it's great to teach children that corporations are not your friend. However, IDW "Sonic" isn't prepared to grapple with the real world ramifications of events such as these. If the post-Trump era has taught us anything, it's that a lot of people don't give a shit about corporations doing horrible things. Some people actually make excuses for such events! Clutch refers to this breaking news as a "smear campaign" and that the amount of money he makes justifies whatever crimes he's committed. That it is "good business" and that "nobody cares about a few sick kids." The comic has Clutch do this on-camera before a crowd, who boo him immediately. He sees the consequences of his criminal disregard for the safety of the world right away. Here in reality, when evidence that CEOs have committed serious crimes leak to the press, the execs lawyer up. Usually, they have enough cash to pay whatever fines exist for their infractions, meaning the bad guys see no consequences for their actions and the infrastructure that allows them to do these things never changes. This is a comic book for little kids. After being exposed, Stanley has Clutch loose his mind and immediately become homicidal. This is either the author realizing that corporate criminals like Clutch rarely pay for their actions, causing her to write him immediately doing something obviously and blatantly evil to remove any doubt in the public's mind... Or this is merely a funny book for grade-schoolers and that much thought was not put into it. Either way, Clutch's mental breakdown is probably the best moment in this issue. 

Something else this issue got me thinking about... Isn't it funny how, when Lanolin was nothing but a background character, when we knew nothing about her, she was beloved by the fandom with multiple people demanding more appearances from her? Now that she has become a featured player and been gifted with an actual personality, she has quickly become one if the most loathed characters in the book? Almost as if deciding you like someone based solely on their outward appearance is shallow or something. Anyway, considering the production cycle for comic books, I assume Stanley was not aware of the fan reaction to Lanolin when she wrote the script for issue. At this point, however, it feels a bit like the writer is actively trying to make us dislike Lanolin. When Duo reveals that Tangle and Whisper knew Sonic was the Phantom Rider, the sheep gets extremely offended. She attempts to track down Sonic and arrest or something, I guess, when he's in the middle of saving the day. It's only after Tangle and Whisper talk her out of it that she changes her mind, deciding to put this debate on-hold until after the crisis is resolved. And so Lanolin is revealed to reside on the most annoying corner of the Character Alignment Chart: Lawful Neutral, the designation for people who think the law – or, at least, their personal interpretation of it as it aligns with their own morality – is an inflexible facet of the world and that any violation of it must be immediately and swiftly punished. 

In effect, this accomplishes two things. First off, Tangle's defense – that Sonic was doing the wrong thing for the right reason and we should just trust the guy the comic book is named after – does not feel like a justifiable position. "He's my friend, my friends are good and would never do anything bad, therefore my friend doing a bad thing must be good" is not the ethical position you think it is, Tangle. Generally, the comic acting like Sonic can do whatever he wants and not face any consequences for it is, makes our hero look like an unaccountable vigilante who can do no wrong. And that's not compelling. More pressingly, all of this makes Lanolin look like a bitchy straw man. She has a good point. 

We should hold those we have designated as our defenders to a strict set of rules! However, Lanolin reacting to this information in a moody, impulsive, and frankly illogical fashion makes her seem like, ya know, an idiot. Obviously saving the lives of thousands of innocent civilians is more important right now, lady. Which raises the question of if we are supposed to dislike Lanolin, of this is building towards some sort of growth or change for her. Or if we are heading towards a tedious courtroom arc where Sonic is put on trial for crimes that he will obviously be cleared of, because he's the default good guy of this universe. I don't know if that would be better or worse than the comic simply moving on past these events and hoping we forget they all happened. 

In general, it's another very frustrating issue. I've already pointed out how frequently any tension or momentum the script builds up is immediately undermined by switching focus to something else happening, usually via slow dialogue scenes. We see this in the action sequences too. The opening rumble between Clutch's goons and the Chaotix is decently executed, mostly thanks to Aaron Hammerstrom's bad-ass pencils. However, there is a moment that bugs me. Clutch grabs Charmy, puts his cane-gun to his head, and demands the Chaotix hand and the thumb drive get back in their cage. At this point, I would imagine Clutch would simply kill these guys – which he was attempting to do only a few panels earlier – rather than imprison them again. But, okay, whatever, this is a G-rated comic book. What happens instead is much more depressing. Vector pretends to concede, only for Espio to toss a shuriken into the debate and Charmy to sting his way out of Rough's grasp. What was the point of this moment? We already know that Clutch has no qualms about hurting children, as he's already tried to shoot Charmy. It adds no suspense to the sequence, as the situation is immediately resolved without any stakes being raised. This sequence simply makes the heroes look like they can easily wiggle their way out of any dilemma or makes Rough look like a bigger joke than he already is for forgetting that bees have stingers. 

I'm not convinced that this beat wasn't inserted strictly to make the comic book longer, in order to guarantee that this arc wraps up in the big anniversary issue next time. The awkward, stop-and-start feeling this entire arc has had makes me suspect that is the case. That action scene wraps up with Clutch running after Charmy as he flees the room and, right as he leaves, the villain perfectly shoots the control panel. Which means a not-small portion of the sprawling cast are, once again, stuck in a fucking boiler room. Throughout this storyline, Stanley has become obsessed with inventing these contrived reasons to keep the teams apart. Before, it was Tails and Amy being stuck on the other ship, looking for Belle. Maybe this story shouldn't have had twenty-one central characters? You don't have to include everybody in the team in every story, Evan. You don't need four or five dramatic things happening at once. "Urban Warfare" had this same problem, this need to shove in as many of the beloved cast members as possible and march each of them through constant action scenes and contrived subplots. That's not how you write an epic. It's how you write a shitty epic. Wasn't this storyline supposed to be about hoverboard racing???

People seem to like this on-going story, so I guess that problem must be with me. Still, I've seen this comic book, this exact same writing, do things in a much smoother and far more satisfying manner. In her Archie days, Stanley would shove in random events without setting them up. Now, she feels compelled to create these elaborate and unbalanced soap operas that weave through far too many characters and shove in far too much unconvincing action scenes. All of which ignores Stanley's strengths, which are in character interaction. A little aside here where Amy points out that both her and Don have a hammer for a weapon, and he cracks a joke about the boots she's wearing, will stick in my memory far longer than any of the other bullshit that happens in this issue. That's the benefit of having a big group of characters to draw from, seeing these different personalities bounce off each other, not insisting that every single one of them must participate in this meandering narrative. 

A simple two or three issue race story line, focused on Surge learning to be loved, would have been a great idea. A three issue plot focused on the Chaotix exposing Clutch's crimes to the public probably would've been fun. Giving Jet some much needed character development by centering in on his obsessive desire to beat Sonic would have made for a solid one-off. Even Sonic cosplaying as a Psycho-Ranger or melodramatic in-fighting among the Diamond Cutters, by far the least interesting part of this saga, could have been redeemed. Instead, all of these ideas were rammed together and the result has been, unsurprisingly, a mess. At least it'll be over next month, right? Sorry to be so negative, as I know some folks have been enjoying this one. I swear, I never set out to be a humorless, pretentious old man that hates everything because he holds a book for little kids to too high of a standard. What do you expect this middle-aged man to do, not review the "Sonic the Hedgehog" comic book? Anyway, I'm really looking forward to this series moving on to something else soon. [5/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 73

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 73

Original Publication Date: September 18th, 2024

Am I the impatient one here? As I crack open the brand new issue of IDW's "Sonic the Hedgehog" comic, all I can think is "Are we still doing this racing thing?" This is the fifth issue devoted to this particular storyline. And we've got two more installments of this shit left to go, as IDW editorial is truly determined to drag this out until the next anniversary issue. That means, by the time this plot finally concludes, exactly two story arcs will be resolved by the end of 2024! I thought races were supposed to be over quickly? This is why I'm of the opinion that comic storylines should never extend past four issues. A racing arc is a lot like a fighting tournament arc: It's fun for two, maybe three months. After that, we are ready for an installment not concerned with an unimportant competition and instead with some real stakes. 

Of course, Evan Stanley and her team certainly want the Clean Sweepstakes tournament to have some real stakes. As with the last two issues, #73 is simply jammed packed full of incidents. The racers prepare for the final leg, a leap off a floating platform into a free fall towards Central City. Like clockwork, the Phantom Rider shows up to cause trouble. The security team is ready for him, this time. Surge grabs the Rider's transformation gizmo, revealing to the public that this criminal is – sacre bleu! – Sonic the Hedgehog! Of course, Tangle and Whisper knew this already but didn't see fit to tell Lanolin, leading to some trouble of their own. Meanwhile, Amy, Tails, and Belle are still running around that fucking ship. They somehow run into Don the Rooster who then leads them to the imprisoned Chaotix. Sure, why not? Even more meanwhile, Jewel finally realized that Clutch is making off with the Restoration right under her cute little olive nose, causing the supervillain to stop fuckin' around and finally going on the offensive. 

Yes, if the above plot synopsis didn't make it clear, this is another issue that doesn't have much in the way of pacing on its own. Instead, once again, Stanley wastes another month by having a collection of subplots spin their wheels for several pages. Surge trying to get back at her shitty boss and prove her heroics moves forward a little bit. Amy, Tails, and Belle screwing around on Clutch's battleship inches ahead. There's a brief acknowledgement of Jet's ongoing rivalry with the Phantom Rider, without that storyline actually advancing any. If Stanley had decided to focus on one of this plot points, we might have had a compelling ongoing story that actually feels like it's moving. Instead, this shotgun blast approach to writing means so much is happening in this comic book without bringing us significantly closer to any sort of proper conclusion. Does Evan know that story arcs have, ya know... Parts? It's not one long narrative broken up into random intervals and spaced out over seven fucking months! 

Sorry if I'm coming off as cranky here. I'm having a hard time looking past how disorganized and sluggish this storyline devoted to, ironically enough, a high-speed race has been. The sole plot thread keeping me invested in this rambling mess of a soap opera has been Surge coming into her own as a hero and an independent thinker. After Clutch tried to put the tenrec in her place during the last issue, she takes the fight right to the Phantom Rider. She reveals his secret identity to everyone on national television. The issue tries and plays this as a big triumphant moment, of Surge getting one over on a rival, proving her strength while also somehow sticking it to Clutch. And how exactly is that the case? If Surge's character development over this storyline has seen the once villain realizing that being beloved, instead of hated, has benefits of its own... How do these events follow that progression? I mean, it's certainly in keeping for Surge's personality to act impulsively and start wildly attacking people when she doesn't know what else to do... But she wrestles with and shocks Tangle, a beloved member of the Restoration, during this moment. This will presumably not make her more popular with people! However, Stanley is working so hard to get that epic anime moment of Surge snatching Sonic's Power Morpher away from him that any sort of logic or reason goes out the window. It's never a good thing when you have to put the comic book down for a second and think out loud to yourself "Why is this character doing this?"

Sonic having his cover blown on what is, presumably, the Mobian equivalent of the Super Bowl would be, from any traditional perspective, the big moment in this issue. That would be a dramatic panel to leave us readers on, don't you think? Oh no, this new supervillain that has become the biggest menace to, uh, hoverboard racing has been revealed to be, in fact, the planet's greatest hero! Instead, Stanley sticks this moment in the middle of the book in-between a number of other plot developments, where it quickly gets lost in the shuffle. We only get the briefest glimpse at the viewers at home reacting to this shocking event before the book shifts focus again to something else, meaning the impact is not felt at all. 

Instead, the big cliffhanger this issue is devoted to Clutch personally sending his goons after Amy, Tails, and Belle As deep within the bowels of his ship. Another goal of this particular story arc has been, I think, to make Clutch into a major villain in the "Sonic"-verse. However, I can't say my opinion of Clutch has changed any over the last few issues. Instead, what this particular event has convinced me of is that Jewel the Beetle should not be leading the Restoration. Issue 73 kicks off with Jewel confronting the possum, having finally figured out that he's up to no good Maybe it's because I, as a reader looking down on this events from beyond the fourth wall, already know that Clutch is a bad guy. However, that it took Jewel this long to stand up to the obviously evil guy dressed like a cartoon gangster only makes her seem lacking in perceptive. As the leader of the Restoration, shouldn't Jewel have intel all over the world? Shouldn't she have known from the beginning that Clutch was anything but a moral businessman? The fact that the villain was allowed to get this deep into his scheme without being called on it doesn't make him seem powerful and intelligent. It only makes the good guys look easily fooled. Considering this is the third time in recent memory that a clear enemy has walked into the Restoration and said "It's okay, you can trust me," maybe they are, in fact, idiots. 

Sometimes, it feels like the only way Evan Stanley knows how to make a story feel big and important is by including as many characters as possible. "Urban Warfare" was held back by the sheer number of characters, of perspectives, it had to include. As the Clean Sweepstakes plot has gone on, Stanley shows she hasn't learned from that mistake any. This arc has actually introduced more characters as it's gone along. Last issue brought Nite and Don into it. Don – who, I feel compelled to point out, is a janitor – gets directly involved in the action here, helping Amy, Tails, and Belle out. When Belle asks him "Who are you again?," that feels like a reasonable question. Amy almost smashes him with a hammer at first, because she doesn't truly know him or have any reason to trust him. However, Stanley has decided Don is important to this story so now he's a part of it, another cog introduced in the vast, disorganized machine that has become this story arc. 

Oh yeah, Don knows the Chaotix too, did I mention that? Yeah, the detective trio are now involved in this storyline too. It would seem that Clutch has had the three of them locked up in a cage inside the Krugerian boiler room deep within his flying battleship. Did we know this information? I can't remember at this point. Last time we saw the Chaotix, weren't they playing with some flowers? Somehow, I don't think it's a good thing when a comic book requires you to have a mental flowchart of where all the characters are at all times. Anyway, Vector has a thumb drive full of all of Clutch's dirty laundry, something the villain didn't think to take away from him the entire he's had him imprisoned. Yes, five issues deep into this plot, we're finding out that the Chaotix have been important characters to this story the whole time. If only comics were a visual medium and there had been some way to convey this information to the reader before now... 

Sorry if this issue put me in a crabby mood. The truth is I didn't totally dislike this one. The saving grace for the last few issues has been the little character moments Stanley has sneaked in between all the stuff happening. There isn't much of that here. However, when Jewel comes to Tangle and Whisper to talk to them early in the issue and the lemur gives her old friend a great big hug? Yeah, that was adorable. There is plenty of good artwork on display too. I ultimately didn't find Sonic and Surge's rumble here all that rewarding but Min Ho Kim assures that it looks cool. If the big fight between Surge and "The Phantom Rider" is the main reason this issue exists, at least there's plenty of exciting visuals. Though it probably says a lot about how meandering this plot has gotten that the thing I've seen people discussing the most about this issue is all the O.C.s Kim hid among the various crowd scenes. I like the bluish fox thing with the fancy anime gloves we see hanging out at the starting line or the girl with white and blue bangs and a black Chao sign seemingly trying to avoid a bad date in the bleachers. 

The longer this race stretches on, the more convinced I am that this entire story should've been about Surge grappling with becoming a beloved hero. I don't care about Clutch's criminal empire being exposed. I don't care about Sonic's identity as the Phantom Rider being revealed. I really don't care about whatever the hell Amy or Jet or Lanolin or Don and Nite or "Duo" have been doing during all of this. And I absolutely do not care who wins the race! Wasn't that what this storyline was supposed to be about to begin with? It's hard to remember now. People seem to be enjoying the high-speed action scenes and large cast in this arc, showing me once again that "Sonic" fans are not concerned with things like narrative structure or pacing or whether you care about the plot. Am I a bitchy old man or does this fandom deserve less? No, it's the children that are wrong. [5/10]

Sonic Boom, Episode 2.40: Three Men and My Baby!

Sonic Boom, Episode 2.40: Three Men and My Baby!

Original Air Date: August 12th, 2017

When Ian Flynn and Tracy Yardley got their job on Archie's "Sonic" comic, it really was one of those events that quietly changes the franchise. In the comics side of the "Sonic" universe, Flynn and his friends have basically been running things since, defining what "Sonic" comics look and feel like for many fans. Yet Flynn and the other former fan artists who followed him into official status were not content to stop there. Flynn, Tyson Hesse, and Evan Stanley have all made the leap to other wings of the franchise, working on the games, the movies, and other tie-ins projects. To think it all started because a very ambitious fanfic writer wouldn't stop submitting his resume to Archie! Stanley – who recently directed the animated short promoting "Sonic Superstars" – similarly followed Flynn to "Sonic Boom." She only wrote one episode, "Three Men and My Baby!," but it's still crazy to me to see someone from the comic books involved with the cartoons. Especially when you know that person got her start as a fan artist. Dreams do come true sometimes, I guess. 

But what about the episode itself? "Three Men and My Baby!" begins with Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles doing an incredibly dangerous stunt, the hedgehog and the fox hoverboarding behind a monster truck Knuckles is driving. When he takes a pizza slice out of the oven inside the cab, Knuckles burns his hands. The truck careens into the village, hits a tree, and injuries Lady Walrus. Feeling rightly responsible for hurting the woman, the three guys agree to take care of her frequently imperiled infant, Chumley, until she's no longer bedridden. Obviously, these three overgrown boys are not ready for the pressures of parenthood. Babysitting proves harder than they imagined but, maybe, just maybe, this experience will reach them a lot about responsibility... And a little bit about life... 

Of the many running gags in "Sonic Boom," there are some I'm fond of and others I merely tolerate. I love Sticks' paranoid delusions while Dave's wheezy exclamation of "I'm on my breeeeak" has only been funny once or twice. Definitely ranking near the bottom of my personal ranking of "Boom's" reoccurring jokes is Lady Walrus' frequent declaration of "My baby!" whenever her infant child is in danger. It's not much of a joke, in my opinion. This would-be high society woman being unable to take care of her own child, constantly relying on the town heroes to save him, is a mildly amusing scenario, I guess. There is absurdity to be found in the unlikeliness of it happening over and over again. In general, however, I would say "Boom" rams that gag in too many times. Frequently, it feels like they throw in a "My baby!" joke whenever they know they need a gag in a scene but can't think of anything better. 

With this knowledge in mind, the prospect of building a whole episode around Lady Walrus or her neglected children did not make me excited. Moreover, "Sonic" cartoons do not have the best track record for babysitting episodes. "Babysitter Jitters," from "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog," was extremely annoying. Meanwhile, "Sonic Underground's" similarly entitled "Three Hedgehogs and a Baby" is among some of the most cursed animation to feature the speedy hero. Nevertheless, it seems sticking a baby into an established group of characters, especially if they are clearly unfit to be parents, is too reliable a sitcom premise to avoid. "Three Men and My Baby!" doesn't avoid most of the expected story beats for this kind of plot. Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles struggle with feeding the baby or his constant crying. Once they get him to sleep, he's naturally awoken suddenly by some outside incursion. Anybody who has dealt with a child or a younger sibling can relate to these challenges but "Boom" doesn't do anything too special with them. If anything, the short runtime of the episodes means "Three Men and My Baby!" has to rush through the standard arc of the guys at first resenting the child before learning to love it. Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles seem to switch over from being irritated by Chumley's nonstop crying to embracing their status as quasi-parents over the course of a montage. 

You can ask the question of why this set-up is so common in children's television, to the point that this is the third "Sonic" cartoon to do it. I guess the obvious answer is that a lot of television writers are probably parents themselves, making the daily strife and rewards of raising a child a clear example of "write what you know." If you look at all children's TV as, in some way or another, educational to the kids watching, I suppose episodes like this prepare the viewers at home for the challenges of child raising some point much further in the future, hopefully. Maybe the logic is that the intended audience isn't that much older than babies themselves so, perhaps, they'll be delighted by the inclusion of someone from the under-twelve-months club. 

Or, maybe, it's something much simpler... Maybe it's the poop jokes. "Three Men and My Baby!" does indeed feature the inevitable sequence of Sonic and the others dealing with the perils of changing a diaper. It's a lengthy scene and it's immediately followed by another joke about Chumley shitting his pants. Gross-out humor is one of the reliable methods to get laughs out of little kids and those who are mentally still children. I'm not saying I've never laughed at a poop joke before in my life. I have cracked plenty of them myself on this very blog. However, scatological humor such as this usually resides at the lowest tier of comedy for me. The sight of Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails dealing with a feces filled nappy does not fill me with mirth. Rather, it makes me glower sorrowfully and think "Wow, really? It's come to this, huh?" If you're going to throw in a poo joke, make it absurd. Really have the presence of excrement be an unexpected element in the scenario. Simply having the punchline be "Arrrrgh, the baby took a big stinky shit and it's so stinky and shitty, uhhggggh!" feels a bit desperate. I expect a baby to crap in its diaper! That's not surprising! Isn't a good punchline supposed to be unpredictable? 

Anyway, enough about that shit. Let's talk about some other shit. Does this episode manage to wring any laughs out of its middling premise? Eh, a couple. The ridiculousness of Knuckles having a pizza oven in his truck comes back around a few times. There's a couple of decent zingers here, most of which result from Knuckles being a very silly fellow. The scene where he very nearly answers the question of "A baby walrus: Will it blend?" is probably the highlight of this episode. However, I do feel like "Sonic Boom" could have had more over-the-top fun with the unlikeliness of Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles dealing with a child. Especially since the first scene calls attention to how wildly irresponsible these guys can be. Why wasn't the baby in the monster truck scene? Missed opportunity! 

There is one of the typical self-aware jokes here. When Eggman awakens Chumley during his attack, he sarcastically apologizes for inserting an action scene into an episode otherwise concerned with the mundanity of babysitting. Instead of getting a laugh, this scene feels like the script admitting that this one wasn't the best effort. I like Evan Stanley well enough but, if this is an example of her trying her hand at "Boom's" brand of comedy, maybe it's for the best that she didn't write another episode of this series. There's a Dreamboat Express scene and it was funny, suggesting we should've gotten a whole boy band episode. Unless that means we would've gotten a reprise of "Its Cool to Be a Kid!" Actually, pretend I never said that... [5/10]