Chao Tales

Chao Tales

Original Release Date: April 3rd, 2025

I thought I was done talking about miscellaneous "Sonic the Hedgehog" animation but then Sega had to go and draw my attention to something I didn't know previously existed. Here in 2025, if the last few months of reviews haven't made it clear, "Sonic the Hedgehog" exists as much as a social media brand as a video game franchise. The games, the comics, the cartoons, the movies, the officially licensed SquishMellows and everything else is almost secondary to the actual goal of the series these days: To make sure people, young and old and younger and older yet, never forget about Sonic the Hedgehog. Every proponent of the blue hedgehog's existence now has no further goal than to propagate itself. Social media is where we all spend a large part of our lives now, the digital town square becoming just as real as the actual communities we live in. (Maybe more, in some cases.) This means "Sonic the Hedgehog," as a brand, must have a social media presence. I would say Sega's ability to infiltrate these spaces is the main reason the blue hedgehog stock has risen a lot in the last decade or so. It is not enough for Sonic to only be a new video game release once or twice a year. A monthly comic, a cartoon or TV show or movie every few years, will not suffice. To make sure somebody, somewhere, is always talking about Sonic the Hedgehog means new stuff arriving across multiple different platforms at a machine gun pace. 

This is my long-winded way of saying that uploading little animations and skits and updates to YouTube, Twitter, TikTok and whatever else is how this series stays alive in today's world. Almost everything I've discussed in this loosely linked retrospective of "Sonic" animation left-overs has been part of this new wave of brand awareness. Previously, I looked a little at Sega of Japan trying their hand at breaking into the micro-video format that is so popular online these days with "Sonic & Friends." More recently, the American branch has done something similar. Little one-minute long pieces of animation entitled "Chao Tales" started popping up on the official "Sonic" channels on any platform that supports short video contents. "Chao Tales" is the first piece of traditionally animated "Sonic" media produced exclusively for this format, evident by each episode originally being uploaded in the narrow aspect ratio common to such things. Yes, "Chao Tales" has the dubious distinction of being the first drawn "Sonic" thing designed to be viewed in Portrait Mode. What a time to be alive. Presumably for the benefit of old foggies like me, all eight episodes were recently uploaded to Youtube in glorious wide-screen, so I can trick myself into thinking I'm watching an actual TV show and not a fuckin' Instagram reel. 

Yes, once again, I am forced to talk about Chao, those little water drop shaped baby things that everybody but me loves. Every two episodes of "Chao Tales" is set in a different season, beginning in spring and ending in the winter. It depicts Sonic discovering and then visiting a peaceful Chao garden in the woods, whenever he feels like it, I guess. Among the residents is a Shadow Chao that the Sonic Wiki describes as "bossy," "a trickster," "greedy," prideful and prone to shenanigans. As Sonic chills with these squishy entities, playing music and sharing apples and bringing animal friends, he helps them do the thing their lives seemingly revolve around: The rearing of yet more Chao eggs. That dovetails nicely with, in the winter, Eggman choosing this patch of trees for deforestation, forcing Sonic to team up with the Chao and defend their home. 

Ya wanna know what the main question I had after watching all eight parts of "Chao Tales" was?: Why is the Shadow Chao such an asshole? In the first few bits of animation that make up this series, the Shadow Chao tries to break an unhatched egg, steals food from his fellow baby-ish brethren, hordes magical upgrades from the visiting animals, and attempts to disrupt their musical frolic. During a race and a training session, the Chao shows a need to prove himself better than the other critters. This causes me to ponder on the mental development of these weird little fluff creatures. When you see a little kid in a pre-school class or whatever acting this way – stealing, starting fights, being a general prick to the other children – the natural assumption is that there's trouble at home. His or her parents are abusive, neglectful, argumentative or overly indulging. Some kids are natural troublemakers, sure. Many of them have neurological patterns, that probably won't be diagnosed until later in life, that make them prone to impulsive or antisocial behavior. I fall squarely on the nurture side of this ages-long debate. In my experience, in my own life and when observing other people's kids, I believe most behavior is learned behavior. And kids, especially at that age, learn most everything they know from their parents. This is why my older half-sister told her kindergarten teacher, when everyone in class was prompted to share Mommy and Daddy's real names, that our mother's name was "Bitch." That's what her dad – not my dad, a different asshole – most frequently called our mom.

The point I'm making is: Most problem children don't act that way for no reason. To quote the slaves in Willy Wonka's factory: You know exactly who to blame, the mother and the faaaathheerrrrr. Which brings me to the obvious, confusing point: Chao don't have parents. Eggs appear asexually, seemingly through some kind of magical ritual. They do change and react to the people they interact with and how they are treated. The implication does seem to be that this is the first time Sonic has met these Chao, leading one to wonder if they've had any contact with outside life at all. My limited knowledge of Chao biology makes me believe that a Shadow Chao has to have some sort of contact with Shadow, inheriting aspects of his personality somehow. There have been multiple Shadow Chao across the "Sonic" franchise though. Are we to assume that Shadow has personally rubbed up against every Shadow Chao around? I guess being a mini-me of Shadow might explain why this little guy is such a jerk. However, I remain left with many questions about how any of this works, much less how these drippy Pokémon things cognitively develop. I also think they live forever but never age out of the toddler stage, so maybe they don't develop at all. Maybe it's a stupid video game cartoon and I shouldn't think this hard about it. 

Describing this badly behaved Chao as "a trickster" suggests he's some sort of Anansi figure. A confident con man who gets one over on people from time to time but is always humbled in the end. You really only see this in one of the episodes, the third installment where the Shadow Chao tries to absorb so many features and powers from the surrounding animals that he eventually collapses under the weight of all his new upgrades. Otherwise, the moral here is much more general. Sonic is teaching the kids to share, to play fair in contests, to stand up for themselves and rely on each other. By the end, the idea goes, we are supposed to like the little goth Chao and he'll no longer be an asshole but a valued member of his community. Because these cartoons are all a minute long, we never get much of a sense of character development. In fact, it feels like most of the personal growth happens off-screen, in between installments. The leap between this guy being a selfish, destructive little gremlin in the first episode and a brave little hero in the last feels unearned. 

Evan Stanley directed this entire series, following a definite trend in her association with the "Sonic" franchise of being fond of the tiny freak babies. Every "Sonic" fan writer/artist that has graduate to officially working on the series has left their own marks, giving you an idea of what their personal vision for the speedy hedgehog franchise is. Tyson Hesse's cartoons and comics represent his absurd sense of humor, a simpler and wackier understanding of the characters, and lots of frenetic action. Ian Flynn is obsessed with backstory and history, loving to dig up obscure tidbits he can stitch into more of a narrative whole. He fleshes out the world and tends to flesh out the characters too, probably being the best at actually giving these video game mascots depth. "Chao Tales" perhaps gives us the clearest idea of what Evan Stanley wants "Sonic" to be. For most of the eight episodes, this is an exceptionally laid back story. Sonic spends more time napping and chilling in a tree than he does fighting supervillains over the eight minutes or so. The conflict is the stuff of schoolyard playgrounds, of little kid-like figures having low stake interactions in which they ultimately learn a tidy lesson that can be applied to other situations in their lives. Sonic himself feels oddly static in "Chao Tales." He's treated like a mentor figure, idealized and far off, ultimately unknowable. Meanwhile, the Chao have their little misunderstandings and problems but they can all work out it. It reminds me of Surge venting her personal problems at Sonic in one IDW issue, while trying to kill him, only for the tenrec to accepted onto the team shortly afterwards. 

The impression I get is that Stanley is in-love with the aesthetics of "Sonic" as a franchise. Ultimately, she thinks of this hedgehog's world as an idealized one, with a status quo of Eden-esque tranquility. Except, obviously, this is also an action series and anime fight scenes must occur. These two needs run into each other in the last two episodes, when Eggman appears to chop down the forest, forcing Sonic and his new friends into action. The result is "Chao Tales" feels like a totally relaxed environment up until it suddenly isn't. This climax is narratively sound, following a structure that should work. The Shadow Chao starts out as one thing, experiences events that change him, and come out on the other side as something else. He's a jerk at the beginning and a hero at the end, fighting alongside Sonic. Something about the execution feels hollow though, too cutesy, too vague. Mechanical when it should be personable. 

All throughout "Chao Tales," I couldn't help but mentally compare it to "Sonic & Friends," the previous attempts to give these characters a home on a short-form video sight. The CGI, Japanese show is ultimately mindless drivel, bright sounds and noises that convey nothing of significance at all. Whenever it did pause to resemble a story, it felt like the kind of plots that those chat-bots CEOs are burning down the planet for could excrete. Obviously, "Chao Tales" is better than that. It's made with traditional animation, so it looks far more appealing than the dead-eyed digital homunculi of the TikTok show. It's not as detailed, smooth, energetic, or beautiful as "Sonic Mania Adventures" or the "Sonic Superstars" cartoon Stanley previously did. However, the colors are bright and warm. The characters move in mostly expressive and fluid ways. The environments and models are charming and likable. I would say "Chao Tales" looks like a really good episode of "Sonic X," like one of the higher budget moments stretched out for eight relative minutes.  

Obviously, I much prefer this over "Sonic & Friends." There's an actual sense of art and soul put into this. The fact that I can tell something about Evan Stanley from watching this proves it has more value than the meaningless noises and distraction that is the other series. However, I can't beat the impression that "Chao Tales" is moving in a similar direction. It wants everything to simple and round and pleasant and cute and in a bite-sized package that can be easily consumed, without generating any unsettling thoughts or feelings in the consumer. That's not what I want "Sonic the Hedgehog" to be. It's entirely possible I'm thinking too hard about a cute little cartoon made to get some hearts or upvotes or likes or whatever. It's not bad, not totally artless, but it still feels like an attempt to push this franchise towards a rather boring place. Or maybe the ugly, naked merchandising opportunities that the Chao represent simply puts me in a bad mood. Eh. [6/10]

TailsTube #11 - A Meeting of the Minds

TailsTube #11 - A Meeting of the Minds

Original Release Date: March 27th, 2025

I am now all caught up with the "Sonic the Hedgehog" virtual YouTuber series "TailsTube" and I have this to ask: Has this entire series been a way to soft-launch normal human beings as a regular part of the "Sonic the Hedgehog" universe again? The very first episode teased the mysterious Purple-Haired MILF and the fandom immediately went wild with speculation over what this could mean. After her name was revealed in episode 10 as "Professor Victoria," episode 11 has the character making her first proper appearance on the show. This occurs at the same time as "TailsTube" starts an arc of some sort devoted to Tails traveling the globe and seemingly revisiting the cities and countries introduced in "Sonic Unleashed." Divisive upon release in 2008, the cartoons and games have referenced the world presented in this game little since then. It would seem that enough time – seventeen years!!! – has passed that "Unleashed" is no longer controversial. Or at least not so controversial that it's been vanquished forever from canon, like Princess Elise and Soleanna. Considering Ian Flynn is now certified lore master of the official Sonic Sacred Timeline and he used the "Unleashed" version of Earth as the outline for the new globe in the post-reboot Archie "Sonic" comics, none of this is all that surprising. 

Truthfully, I would be surprised if Flynn and Tyson Hesse had been playing a calculated long game with "TailsTube." I suspect they probably had inklings of an idea, slipped Prof. Victoria into that first episode to test the waters, and worked backwards from there. Considering how cagey Sega has been about confirming certain elements as Official Dogma or not, at least up until recently, that strikes me as more likely. Now the $1.25 question: What do I, esteemed "Sonic" dweeb, think of all this? When the Post-Super Genesis Timeline was established in the old comic books, confirming that Sonic and all his freaky animal pals co-exist on a civilized Earth not too dissimilar to our own with human beings, I was hostile to the idea. I haaaaated it, truth be told. Many years have passed since then and I now believe that my dislike for this idea was based largely in my devotion to the previously established Archie "Sonic" canon. I was attached to the idea that Mobius was our modern day Earth in the far future, with humanity having splintered off into hidden conclaves of homo sapiens and four-fingered "Overlanders" who had conceded dominance of the planet to the furries decades before in a global war. Suddenly shifting to the new status quo of "Nah, Sonic and friends peacefully coexist with regular-ass people now and it's always been this way actually" gave me whiplash. 

I still prefer the Classic Archie continuity set-up. Or the idea presented in the live action movies and "Sonic X," where Sonic and friends are motherfucking aliens from another world all together who have gotten Isekai'd to our planet. The idea that Sonic and his race of cartoon animal people could simply peacefully live alongside we imperialism prone humans – that Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik is the first person ever to try and displace, enslave, or otherwise exploit the Happy Tree Friends in thousands of years – strikes me as implausible. Nevertheless, historical evidence suggests that it really do be like that. The Japanese game manuals for the original Genesis platformers confirm that Sonic has always lived on South Island, that his people have always stuck to these archipelagos, and that Eggman is the first person to try invading them. That would certainly explain why the hell there was suddenly whole cities of normal people in "Sonic Adventure," which seemed like a massive reboot at the time. Sega barely gave a shit about world-building for the first twenty years of the franchise. The simplistic goals of 16-bit platformers didn't necessitate it. However, there have been vague hints that it has always been this way. In fact, the tie-in media like "Sonic the Animation," the OVA kind of, and even "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" a little bit have always suggested this state of affairs. It's really only "SatAM," "Underground," and the comic books that have gone with the idea of "Mobius" being a post-apocalyptic Earth or alien world of some sort. 

My point here is: Deciding "Sonic Unleashed" was an accurate depiction of the lay-out and function of the blue hedgehog's world in the Archie comic book series, after many years of that most certainly not being the case, annoyed me. Deciding the same is true for the video game universe – which had never depicted a wider world much at all but usually generalized it to be this way – is fine. Truthfully, this is another example of Ian Flynn doing what he's always done. He takes a bunch of unconnected details left lying around by thirty years of stories and he assembles them into some sort of logical whole. It still bugs me that we've seen very little of how these two societies interact, how they function, or what their mutual histories are. However, I'm willing to accept this as the status quo of the games and comics going forth. Sonic and all the characters we care about live on the islands. On the continents, there is a human society similar to our own – and clearly inspired by various cultures around the globe – but ultimately distinct in its histories, cities, and backgrounds. Alright, understood. Duly noted. Let us move on now. 

I swear I never write these "TailsTube" reviews with the intention of taking far too many paragraphs before I actually discuss the episode. (Okay, except those times I did.) Anyway! "A Meeting of the Minds" has Tails and his live-stream making their first stop-off in Spagonia, that Mediterranean inspired nation noted for its art and history. At the University, Tails meets with Professor Victoria, a published author, archeologist, and world renowned historian. Tails is a fan and is stunned to hear that Torii, as she likes to be called, is familiar with his adventures as well. Their conversation about the ancient cultures of this world, and the various mysterious ruins they left behind, are repeatedly interrupted by Orbot. The machine tagged along as revenge for Tails snubbing him on New Year's Eve. He proceeds to spoil every bit of information Tails has to share with the professor about what he knows of these civilizations, not that he bothered to bring along any hard proof of his claims anyway. 

Apparently Professor Victoria had an oblique appearance in "Shadow Generations," as the mysterious individual known only as "T." responsible for compiling Gerald Robotnik's journal pages. (Which exist as collectable items during gameplay.) However, this remains her sole appearance as anything other than a static image. So what do I think of her? Her design is eye-catching enough. I like the way her bouncy purple hair frames her face. I don't know what's up with the Stillsuit looking outfit she has on. Maybe that's standard issue at Spagonia University. The character is voiced by Crystal Lee, a relative newcomer to voice acting who has mostly worked in video games. Lee seems best known for Chinese gambling schemes/waifu generators like "Genshin Impact," "Goddess of Victory: Nikke" and "Zenless Zone Zero." (Though she did voice Cheetah in a random "Justice League" cartoon, a character who is coincidentally also an archeologist.) Lee adopts your standard dignified, refined older woman voice that only hints at the Bayonetta energy fans are going to graft onto Professor Victoria anyway. Within the narrative of this episode, "Torii" mostly exists as the straight woman to Orbot's antics, here to gasp in disbelief at the outrageous things the machine suggests and be skeptical/mildly annoyed by the whole situation. I suppose this hints at a slight stuffy, formal quality to the character – suitable to an academic – or at least a commitment to the hard sciences. Otherwise, we don't get much of a peek at her personality here. Maybe we'll learn more about her actual opinions and shit when we find out if she has a first/last name or not. 

Overall, "A Meeting of the Minds" is an amusing idea for a little four minute bit of animation. The central joke here is easily predicted. Tails is going to have his dreams and hopes of impressing someone he idolizes smashed and ruined by Orbot, who acts as if he's simply being a dunderhead but is actually being malicious. Every time Victoria references a great historical mystery of the planet's distant past, Orbot bluntly and simplistically reveals the truth about these civilizations as revealed in past "Sonic" games. Tails begrudgingly agrees that the robot's statements are basically true, Torii asks if he has any hard proof for these claims, and Tails bashfully admits he doesn't. As Orbot so amusingly puts it, Tails is asking the professor to "take his word for it, bro." The episode essentially repeats this structure until Torri has had enough and discreetly dismisses herself, leaving Tails' ego in shambles. Stretched over, say, a ten minute episode, this joke might have gotten old but it's more than enough to support a four-minute long YouTube thing. Also, I like Orbot spamming the screen with egotistic art of himself the one time Tails does present video evidence of his crazy claims about history. 

"TailsTube" is returning to its stated purpose here, of expanding on the franchise's backstory and recounting past events for anyone who might have missed them. "A Meeting of the Minds" drops spoilers for "Sonic Frontiers" and "Unleashed." It tells us who the Ancients were, why they came to Earth, what happened to them, and specifies their links to the Chao. The so-called Gaian race is detailed a little less but Orbot sarcastically brings up the climax of "Unleashed," where all the Gaia Temples Mega-Zord-ed into a giant robot to fight off the eldritch abomination living inside the planet. The Rule of Three would dictate that the episode would throw in a third example but I guess the "Sonic" franchise doesn't have any other Ancient Aliens/Indiana Jones shit in its background, at least not until whatever Flynn is building towards with the echidnas is finally revealed. (Hinted at by a diagram of the echidnan idol Knuckles found in the comics recently being on the blackboard behind Torri, alongside a bunch of other ancient artifacts from previous games.) Maybe, in the future, we'll find out that Wisps built the Great Wall of China or something. 

My main takeaway from this is twofold. First off, you're telling me that nobody noticed the Gaia Colossus forming and fighting off Dark Gaia at the end of "Unleashed?" The academic world not knowing about the "Frontiers" reveal makes sense, what with that game happening on a secluded island. That there was no news reports or shaky handheld camera footage of the kaiju fight that went down right before the planet put itself back together? I guess people where a bit preoccupied but you'd think Torri would not be so skeptical of Tails/Orbot mentioning a major global event. The academic world not knowing about the "Frontiers" reveal makes sense, what with that game happening on a secluded island... Though you're telling me that Sonic and Tails don't tell anyone about the shit they see on their adventures? Furthermore, Tails didn't think to bring any evidence of his wild claims along with him to his live interview with the historian? Even if Orbot hadn't show up, "You got a believe me, bro" does, in fact, seem to be the little fox's entire plan on this one. I know I'm probably (definitely) overthinking the joke here, as usual. You'd think Tails would have at least snapped more than one video with his little iPad accessory during these two adventures or whatever. 

Also, I like the photograph Orbot shows of Cubot dressing up as Sonic and Eggman laughing at it. Is the little robotic lackey going to be the constant thorn in Tails' side throughout this entire road trip? That might get old fast. Or maybe not, considering we have only gotten three or four "TailsTubes" in the past years. Previously, the first episode of the year drops sometime in the spring with the second coming around summer, so I guess we can expect episode 12 in July or August. I can't imagine Professor Victoria having that big of a role in any future games or comics. (Unless the frequent fan theory that Victoria is actually her first name, with her last name being Robotnik, is proven true.) However, it would be nice to see her again, if only because I'm curious about what her whole deal is. Tails says he wants to head somewhere more "low-key" next time. Not Angel Island or Mertopia, presumably. Aren't you glad I took three months to review all of these? [7/10]