What's the Deal with Chao?

20 years ago today, at least in North America, “Sonic Adventure” was released for the Sega Dreamcast. In many ways, it was the beginning and the end of an era for the “Sonic” franchise. Not just the end of the literal Classic Sonic era, as we now recognize it. I'm talking about how it was the last time I can recall normal humans, not just Extremely Online nerd people like me, expressing excitement over a new “Sonic the Hedgehog” game. Afterwards, the “Sonic” series would be increasingly defined by video games of debatable merit and the rather peculiar habits of certain corners of its fandom.

As such, “Sonic Adventure” emerges as a pivotal title in blue hedgehog history that prompts many question. Why did Sega make the decision to move Sonic, a character always previously aligned with the natural world, into an urban setting? Why did Sega interrupt the fast paced action we associate “Sonic” with by including radically different styles of game play, like shooting and fishing? But, most pressingly tonight, I ask a totally different question:

What's the deal with Chao?

If you're reading this blog, I would presume you know what the hell I'm talking about. To answer my own question, I assume Sega and Sonic Team included so many different types of game play into “Sonic Adventure” in hopes of appealing to as large an audience as possible. The game, after all, was a flagship title for a new console, hoping to show off everything the Dreamcast could do. So among the other styles of gaming included in “Sonic Adventure” was a virtual pet. Call the Chao, they were cutesy, little, blobby mascot things that you could take care of in designated areas spread throughout the game. This could link up with the Dreamcast memory card, where you could play a tiny mini-game starring your Chao.

I was hoping to find some information online about the decisions made behind Sega/Sonic Team's chose to include such a wild departure from traditional “Sonic” thrills in "Sonic Adventure." Sadly, nothing much on the developmental side turned up. Apparently, the Chao were based off similar creatures that appeared in “Nights.... Into Dreams,” but that's about the sole behind-the-scene tidbit I could uncover.

However, why Sega chose to introduce the Chao is easy to figure out. Two years prior to “Adventure's” release, “digital pets” with mysterious names like “Tamagotchi,” “Giga Pets,” and “Digimon” would sweep the world and become a serious fad. Around the same time, Nintendo and Gamefreak's “Pokemon” series would be unleashed on the globe, spawning a global phenomenon that has never really gone away. The Chao feature resembles both of these hugely popular properties. Like “Pokemon,” the Chao are cute and small critters that the players are encouraged to form bonds with. They evolve and change in unique ways depending on how the player takes care of them. A Chao mini-game could be played on the VMU – Visual Memory Unit, the Dreamcast's memory card that also operated as a small, handheld gaming device itself – which was obviously similar to “Tamagotchi” and its contemporaries.

In other words, Sega was trying to make their new “Sonic” game as popular as possible by capitalizing on a number of then-relevant fads.

Despite the bold nakedness with which Sega was emulating pre-existing ideas, it would seem the Chao were a roaring success. The Chao Gardens, the isolated areas were Sonic and friends could interact with their little Chao, were well-received by players and reviews even in 1999. The customizable element of the Chao supposedly had quite a lot of depth. The food you gave the Chao, what games you played with it, and the general way you treated it influenced what form or appearance your Chao developed. For an example of how much people are invested in this idea, extensive online guides still exist to produce specific looks in your Chao.

Moreover, the Chao have become beloved and popular members of Sonic's supporting cast. They were heavily featured in the “Sonic Adventure” merchandising that was released alongside the game. The creatures were incorporated into the game's mythology, to some success. The characters continue to appear in new “Sonic” games, most recently showing up as racers in “Team Sonic Racing.” The little blue blobs have appeared in the various cartoons and comic books. When Sega wanted fans to embrace new character Cream the Rabbit, they gave her a Chao sidekick... A strategy that seemed to have largely worked.

The point I'm making is, as gimmicky and out-of-place as the entire Chao concept seemed, fans truly embraced it. The Chao's popularity is such that fans have expressed frustration with Sega's refusal to incorporate Chao Gardens into further “Sonic” games. This has prompted a number of enterprising “Sonic” nerds to create critically acclaimed fan games of their own, centered entirely around raising Chao.

I, for one, never quite got the hype. Yes, I spent a little time as a kid messing around in the Chao garden. I can even recall an evening that was largely devoted to me playing “Chao Adventure” on the VMU, a game that I seem to remember involved a lot of walking and occasional boxing. Yet the mechanic never hooked me. I never attempted to customize my Chao, never put my time or effort into raising it. Digital pet rearing was not what I signed up for when I popped the “Sonic Adventure” disc into my Dreamcast. So, accordingly, I largely ignored and focused on the running and robot-bashing and the other things about the franchise that I have always found appealing.

To be brutally honest, I never felt the Chao really belonged in “Sonic.” I have never found the attempts to incorporate the creatures into “Sonic” lore, within the comic books and even the game themselves, to be anything but awkward. It always bugged me that the Chao Garden levels in “Sonic Adventure” never had any effect on the game's actual plot. Even on a visual designs level, they don't seem to fit. Sonic's world is one populated by anthromorphic animals and humanoid villains. The Chao are neither, being whimsical blue generic things. The designs are sickeningly cute, among the most obvious attempts by Sega to create highly cuddly and marketable mascot characters. And Omochao is annoying as shit.

And yet people still love the baby blue hug-blobs. I conducted an informer poll on the Archie Sonic Online Discord asking everyone what is up with Chao and got a fairly consistent series of answers. Fans respond to the amount of depth put into the creatures and consider the endless ways they can be customized to be a good source of re-playablilty. More than one person who responded said the mini-games provided a change of pace from the regular “Sonic” experience, a breather. That it was a way to play “Sonic” without doing all the usual “Sonic” things.

Which are all valid answers, I suppose... That do little to resolve my own confusion. Listen, guys, if I want a break from “Sonic” stuff, a change of pace or a breather, I turn off my system and go do something else. Does that make me sound like an old man? I guess my complaint boils down to finding Chao visually uninteresting and wishing Sega had just packaged the little critters as a separate game, instead of shoving them in with “Sonic” which wasn't a great fit for them in my opinion.

But if I sound like an old man, that's fitting. I am an old man, who has existed on this planet for three full decades and somehow still cares about a stupid cartoon hedgehog. “Sonic Adventure” came out twenty years ago and I still think of it as a newer iteration of “Sonic.” It's telling that most of “Sonic” fandom is young enough that the “Adventure” games are their classic era. Time is pitiless and marches ever onward. As for Chao, it seems likely to me that they will remain a part of the franchise, acting in a mascot capability of sorts, even if Sega never creates another Chao Garden again. I will continue to ignore and vaguely resent their presence but that's part of growing up, I guess. Happy 9-9-99, guys!

A Dreamcast for Christmas

Dear Hedgehogs Can't Swim reader, you've probably noticed I like to do something special for the holidays. Today is Christmas and I can't imagine just posting a regular update. Would you tolerate getting torn away from your families just to read a regular review of an Archie Sonic comic? I mean, you would because you have no friends. But for the rest of you, I decided to deliver a little gift.

I think Christmas is by far the most nostalgic of all holidays. For most of us, it brings back memories of gathering around the tree with your parents, opening gifts and presents. Hopefully, the holiday warms your hearts as you recall times of generosity and togetherness. That's certainly true for me. So here's a personal recollection of one of my favorite Christmas memories, which just happens to relate the topic of this blog.

The year was 1999. I had turned eleven in June. That holiday season, there was one gift on my wish list. The Sega Dreamcast had come on in September. You sure as fuck can bet that the September 9th release date, trumpeted as 9-9-99 by the advertisements, was an event for me.

As a huge Sonic nerd, I desperately wanted a Dreamcast. I needed “Sonic Adventure” pumped into my veins. Since the Saturn era came and went without much attention in America, the Dreamcast seemed like Sega – and Sonic with it – was making a big comeback. I was excited. I was beyond excited. I was hyped as fuck.

However, when I was young, my family didn't have a lot of extra money. I didn't get a Sega Genesis until after the Saturn had come out, when the console prices had been sliced in half. I had my share of toys but video games were generally too pricey for my parents to justify. After my parent's divorce the prior year, I went from living in a two paycheck house to a one paycheck house. So money was even tighter now. As much as I desired a Dreamcast, I didn't expect to receive one.

That year, we had Christmas at my Dad's place. My parents weren't trying to work things out or anything. Instead, they were making an effort to visit each other on the holidays. My mom has never paid attention to video games, finding them annoying and a huge waste of time. My dad, however, usually kept abreast of these things. He knew exactly how much I wanted a Dreamcast. But, like I said, I didn't expect to actually receive one. When I got a look at the pile of gifts under the Christmas tree, I didn't see a box big enough to fit a Dreamcast inside. I was disappointed, internally, but outwardly I kept my composure. After all, I was still receiving plenty of other stuff.

I remember the look and the feel of the room very vividly. This kind of stuff sticks with you, I guess. My dad had set up the gifts in a side room. A few months later, after he was done moving, this would become my bedroom on the weekends I stayed there. There was a huge bay window on the right wall. On that Christmas morning, the room was bathed in light. This, I recall, made the tanned linoleum floor practically golden. It certainly set the scene. I'm pretty sure my mom was still wearing her work scrubs from the hospital, as she probably worked at the hospital the night before.

To be totally honest, I do not remember any of the other gifts I got that Christmas. I know there were plenty of other things. Considering what year it was, I probably received some Transmetal era Beast Wars and Animorph Transformers toys, since those were new at the time. Whatever the other gifts where, I was happy to have them. Even if, secretly, in my heart, I still wanted that Dreamcast. As the pile grew smaller and I worked my way through my booty, I had almost forgotten about the Dreamcast.

That was when my Dad motioned to a corner of the room I had previously ignored. He pointed to a side table, covered with a long table cloth, and told me I had missed one. My heart raced. I stuck my hand under the table and pulled out a large box. In my childhood brain, the box seemed far bigger than I'm sure it actually was. This was it. I quickly tore away the wrapping and was presented with my heart's desire: A brand spanking new Sega Dreamcast, in that beautiful white, purple, and orange box.

I can't properly describe in words how overjoyed I was. Some of you where probably kids once. I'm sure you had That One Gift, that Christmas present that ended up defining the entire year for you. That's what the Dreamcast was for me. Years later, I'd find out that my Dad was hugely irresponsible with money around the holidays. (And, you know, in general.) That he would max out his credit cards to get me and my sister the best gifts. That, when my parents where married, my mom was the only thing keeping his ridiculous spending in check. I'm sure there was some truth to that old adage of recently separated parents trying to sway their child's opinion with lavish gifts. Knowing the kind of person my dad was, I'm sure that's exactly what he was doing.

I didn't care about any of that shit in 1999. If my dad was trying to buy my love, he totally succeeded. I couldn't have been happier at that moment, as I eagerly plug in the Dreamcast and booted the thing up. The opening load screen – the ball bouncing across the white space, bringing the letters to life, followed by the spiral logo swirling into view – still holds intense nostalgia for me. Shit, the date and time menu, a red outlined box against a sky blue background, hits me right in the memories. Since my previous video game experience had been totally within the 16-bit era, the Dreamcast seemed incredibly high-tech.

And my dad was well aware of the mania I had for the “Sonic” series. I only had one game to unwrap with my Dreamcast but, you can bet your sweet ass that it was “Sonic Adventure.” After the torturous seeming set-up process, I was playing “Sonic Adventure.” Within minutes, I was sailing down Emerald Coast, collecting rings, smashing robots, and getting familiar with that game's notoriously shitty camera work.

I think the Dreamcast was the last video game console I really loved. Naturally, I consumed “Sonic Adventure” 1 and 2 and even tried my hand at “Sonic Shuffle,” which I hated. Many, many hours of my youthful life was given to “House of the Dead 2,” the “Marvel vs. Capcom” duo, the “Power Stones” series,  and “Jet Grind Radio.” I wish I had a more nuanced reason for this overriding love beyond my Sega loyalty but I'm pretty sure that was a big part of it. My fascination with arcade games, and the Dreamcast's similarities with arcade technology, might have played a role. But there was no way I was aware of that at the time. I just loved that whirling, whining gray box.

Pretty much every chance I had, I was playing that damn thing. I can recall two specific mornings. One was probably only a few weeks after Christmas. We had gotten a huge snow storm the night before. Certain school was canceled – it was – I booted up my Dreamcast and tried to struggle my way for Big the Cat's stupid fishing levels. Another time, I woke really early in the morning for some reason, around five, even before my dad was up. Figuring I had the time, I popped in “Evolution” and played for a few minutes before my dad groggily marched in and asked me what the hell I was doing. Ah, youth.

I wore my Sega fanboy label with pride, once the Playstation 2 came out. When the Dreamcast's life span was prematurely ended, partially due to that other system's popularity, I held a grunge against all of Sony for years afterwards. I actually refused to buy a Sony DVD player for that reason. I realize now that was fucking stupid but, hey, I was eleven.

I played my X-Box a lot all throughout high school. Yet I remember, out of that generation of gaming, I picked the X-Box primarily because the shape of the console's controllers reminded me of the Dreamcast. Within a few years, I'd more-or-less leave gaming behind. My interests would go elsewhere, as I found the hobby expensive and time consuming. Online gaming is something I've never gotten into, as I had no interest in being called slurs by an Estonian teenager, which also sped along my exit from that world.

I actually still have that original Dreamcast, which has somehow survived several moves. Occasionally, I'll get the need to dig it up, plug it in, and play. That's always a nostalgic experience, always bringing to mind the Christmas morning I just recalled. Of course, I've played newer games and newer systems. But there's just something about the Dreamcast that's still special to me. The time and the place played a big role. Those are the kinds of memories you hold on to, that drift into your mind sometimes and make you smile or laugh.

So Merry Christmas, Hedgehogs Can't Swim readers. I know this update was a little off-topic but I think December let's you get away with that. I hope your holiday is shiny and bright and we'll be back to business as usual on Wednesday.

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 84

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 84
Publication Date: May 2000

Issue 84 of Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” series picks up right where the last one left. Sonic and Perfect Chaos continue to battle their way across Station Square. While the super-charged hedgehog continues to counter the physical god, Knuckles and the Freedom Fighters think of a way to stop the unstoppable liquid creature. Will he succeed? Did you play the video game? Meanwhile, Locke finally gets around to rescuing the Chaotix from the Mysterious Cat Country.

Archie decided to devote two whole issues to the battle with Perfect Chaos. So what does that decision result in? Well, a couple of cool panels of Sonic and the monster grappling. He flies around the water serpent, bursting out of his mouth. The two slam each other into buildings, acting a bit like a kaiju and his undersized opponent. If nothing else, these sequences are a showcase for Steven Butler’s awesome artwork. His strength for both action and detail make him an awesome choice for the big fight.

As much press as the big fight gets, the conclusion is underwhelming. After knocking each other around for a while, Sonic leads Perfect Chaos into some power lines. A jolt of electricity is enough to defeat Perfect Chaos, transforming the monster into a peaceful water being once again. Tikal, that living exposition mouth piece, then swoops in and transports Chaos away. In other words, it’s the perfectly disappointing conclusion to Archie’s half-assed adaptation of the “Sonic Adventure” story.

So what’s Knuckles up to during all of this? While Sonic and Chaos are battling it up, Knuckles is responsible for reactivating the Station Square power plant. This results in two things. First off, there’s one of those blatant Marvel references that Ken Penders love so much, this one to "Amazing Spider-Man" Issue 33. Secondly, Knuckles has to access his super secret Guardian powers in order to save the day. Christ, I thought we were done with that stupid shit? Isn’t Knuckles’ great abilities and grand destiny resolved by this point? Yeesh.

All of that lameness aside, there are one or two cute moments here revolving around the Freedom Fighters. After Antoine gets injured by falling rubble, he tries to convince Bunnie to leave without him. The cyborg rabbot is, typically, not having it. She’s insistent on staying by her lover’s side. Sally, sadly, doesn’t even get that much of a moment. She barks some orders and is flown around by Tails. That’s another reason I dislike the entire “Sonic Adventure” ordeal. It really sidelined the Freedom Fighters.

You’ll notice that Knuckles wasn’t a big part of the Perfect Chaos boss battle in the video game. Knuckles being forced into the fray – another example of Ken Penders pushing his own mythology into the story – hasn’t gone unnoticed by Penders haters.

But that didn’t bother me anywhere near as much as Locke’s subplot. The book finally follows up on Locke rescuing the Chaotix from those crazy cat people. How does Locke save the day? He takes his shirt off and wrestles a big bad cat warrior to the ground in seconds using his superior martial skills. I’ve always suspected that Locke was Ken’s idealized self-insert character and this confirms it. Having him be a wise sage who is never wrong isn’t enough for Penders. Locke has to be a bad-ass warrior too. Geez.

Despite Knuckles and Locke playing a major role in the cover story, they still get their own back-up feature. “Bridge Over Troubled Water” – which was published uncredited but was obviously written and drawn by Ken – features Knuckles gliding back to the Floating Island. He restores the Master Emerald, allowing the island to rise back into the sky. Afterwards, he reconnects with the Chaotix. While on the mainland, Knuckles gets a history lesson from his dad. Turns out the Guardian had some fucked-up ancestors.

“Bridge Over Troubled Water” has several potential emotional moments. Such as Knuckles being reunited with Julie-Su, the Chaotix finally being rescued, and the Floating Island rising back into the sky, signaling the end of Knuckles’ latest quest. Instead of focusing on these character moments, Ken uses the back-up story for stupider shit. First off, the Brotherhood places the newly reunited Master Emerald into a new Shrine, which brings the comic more in-line with game continuity. The latter half is entirely devoted to Locke explaining the Brotherhood’s connection with Sega’s Knuckles Clan. (Which inadvertently reveals that Locke named his son after a genocidal warlord.) Honestly, with everything else that’s been going on, this is the last thing I care about.

Well, at least it’s finally over. The entire “Sonic Adventure” story arc has been ill-conceived from the beginning, mostly devoted to awkwardly inserting video game exclusive concepts into the comic book world. The writers couldn’t even re-tell the video game story line in an interesting or compelling way. Honestly, I just wish Archie had ignored the entire tie-in, instead of interrupting the main story line for so many months. Maybe things can get back to normal now? Yeah, probably not. [5/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 83

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 83
Publication Date: April 2000

As previously established, Archie handled the “Sonic Adventure” adaptation in a very strange manner. When adapting the long-ish story of a video game, it would make sense to cover “Sonic Adventure” over six or seven issues. Instead, Archie spent three or four issues setting up the adaptation and shoved the actual game plot into a single double-issue. Afterwards, it spent two issues on the story line’s bonus conclusion. This makes no sense to me. Yet here we are, reading about Sonic’s battle royal with Perfect Chaos after barely getting to know regular Chaos.

Sonic, Tails, and Knuckes believe themselves to be successful. They’ve vanquished Chaos and sunk Robotnik’s Egg Carrier warship. Station Square is, seemingly, safe. When exploring the Ancient Ruins, Knuckles stumbles upon a barely conscious Eggman. Sonic and Tails, meanwhile, search for the downed tornado. Chaos, who survived the previous battle, finds it first. Feeding on the Super Emerald power source, Chaos storms towards Station Square. After gulping down the Super Emeralds that power the city’s grid, Perfect Chaos is born. Everyone seems screwed until the ancient spirit of Tikal appears and zaps Sonic into Super Sonic.

One of the biggest plot holes with issue 83 was, admittedly, inherited from the source material. Super Sonic’s battle with Perfect Chaos was essentially a bonus round, an extra mode of the game unlocked after completing the others. This meant, after the fight on the Egg Carrier, the story ends… And then picks up again. Which requires a super sloppy retcon of the previous issue’s event. Eggman appears randomly to Knuckles. Next, he pulls a second Egg Carrier out of his ass. Chaos, meanwhile, zips into the story and quickly acquires the MacGuffins necessary to reach his final form. Karl Bollers does what he can to fix this, such as making the Tornado’s power source a major plot point, but it’s still shoddily executed.

Once you get through the awkward set-up, issue 83 does feature an impressive sequence. Chaos seeps into Station Square’s power grid, getting an upgrade. We’re treated to several memorable panels devoted to the water beast taking over the city. He explodes through Station Square’s  sewer system, flooding the city in the course of minutes. This is, admittedly, an awesome way to up the stakes for the big show down. Bollers also sneaks in a nice sequence of the Freedom Fighters rescuing people during the disaster. (The writer kind of skips over how many people would die during such a sudden flooding.)

Disappointingly, just when issue 83 looks like it might be going somewhere, it hits another road block. Tikal, misspelled in the original printing as Tical, pops out of thin air. She stops the story dead in its track to drop a heaping load of exposition on us. We get the basic summary, about Chaos being peaceful before the ancient echidnas pissed him off. There’s also some hippy-dippy bullshit about how Chaos can’t be defeated with anger. Tikal then yanks some Chaos Emerald out of Chaos’ ass and hands them to Sonic. Tikal displays no personality on these pages, making her a thin sketch of a character. She exists entirely to awkwardly force the story towards its final act.

So is there any reason to read issue 83? Well, Steven Butler’s artwork is pretty nice, as usual. His pages devoted to Chaos attacking Sonic, Tails and Knuckles in the form of a water spout are dramatically illustrated. The Egg Carrier’s reappearance or Super Sonic charging at Perfect Chaos may be senseless moments but Butler makes them look good. Beyond the pretty pictures, I do like the pages devoted to Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles having adventures together. Seeing the central trio play off each other and face down an enemy is a fun sight. I wish the book had a little more of that stuff.

As a kid, after being so disappointed in the proper “Sonic Adventure” adaptation, I found the Perfect Chaos two-parter to be a little more enjoyable. I wish I still held that opinion as an adult. Whenever this issue starts to work, something comes along to derail it. As would often be the case, Sega was more a hindrance then a help to Archie. When are we finally getting back to Knothole? [5/10]

Sonic Super Special: Issue 13 – Sonic Adventure

(Yes, I have heard the rumors concerning the possible cancellation of Archie's "Sonic" series. I intend to write about this eventually. But until we get more information - or, god forbid, an official confirmation - business will continue here as usual.)

Sonic Super Special: Issue 13 – Sonic Adventure
Publication Date: March 2000

After what seemed like months of build-up, Archie’s proper adaptation of “Sonic Adventure” finally hit newsstand in March of 2000. That’s a full six months after the game was released in America. Like many young Sonic fans, I received a Dreamcast and “Sonic Adventure” as a Christmas present. I’m pretty shitty at video games but even I managed to complete the game by March of 2000. During the seemingly endless build-up to Archie’s adaptation, I became really curious about how Archie would integrate the game’s story into the comic’s world. Even back then, I was disappointed with what we got.

“Sonic Super Special: Issue 13” shoves all of “Sonic Adventure’s” story lines into sixth brief chapters. After Sonic’s encounter with Chaos in issue 82, and Amy’s subsequent disappearance, the Freedom Fighters break into three teams. Sonic and Tails fly across the forest around Station Square, quickly encountering Knuckles, Robotnik, and the evolving Chaos. After a brief fight, the various story threads – including Big the Cat and Amy Rose – converge on Robotnik’s Egg Carrier warship. There, the heroes come together to defeat the villain’s latest scheme… Or, at least, it seems that way.

How many times have I emphasized this? Archie did a pretty shitty job of incorporating the Sega elements into its comic book. After practically, literally shoving Station Square under a rock, the “Sonic Adventure” special barely makes an effort to make the comic’s cast work in the video game plot. See how I mention the Freedom Fighters splitting into three teams above? Yeah, that doesn’t matter. Antoine and Bunnie take a pointless trip around the city, trying to spot any sign of Robotnik. Sally and Nate Morgan shack up in the library, researching information on Chaos. After the first chapter, we never see these characters again. The story turns its focus entirely to Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles. So why bother with this introductory chapter at all?

If we’re being brutally honest, it’s not like “Sonic Adventure” had an especially great story to begin with. The much hyped Chaos isn’t anything more then a series of boss battles, without a lick of personality on his own. The game didn’t even play up the irony of Sonic fighting an enemy made of water, a substance he notoriously has trouble navigating. (See also: The title of this blog.) The video game had to go to lengths to justify the role established characters like Tails and Amy Rose could play in this story. New characters, like Big the Cat and E-102 Gamma, were even more unnecessary additions to the plot. The entire multiple characters aspect of the game was, in truth, nothing but a lame gimmick, an excuse to shove a number of different game styles into one package.

As mediocre as “Sonic Adventure’s” plot was, Archie completely butchers the story to make it fit into a 48-page comic book. Listen, I understand that a video game provides far more time and space to explore things. Yet maybe Archie shouldn’t have tried to shove the meat of the game’s story into one special? Maybe they should have, I don’t know, tried serializing it over several comics? You know, instead of wasting three whole issues on just setting up the damn adaptation? While the game seems to take place over the course of a week, letting its concept breathe a little, Archie makes all the events feel like a few hours. Sonic and Knuckles have one fight with Chaos, blast off for the Egg Carrier, and have their final showdown with the enemy. No time at all passes between these events.

An alternative method to making the story work in so few pages would’ve been to cut the more unnecessary characters all together. Let’s be honest: What did Big the Cat and Amy Rose really add to “Sonic Adventure’s” plot anyway? Instead, Karl Bollers awkwardly inserts the characters into a handful of scenes. As in the game, Big’s plot is entirely superfluous. He never directly interacts with the other heroes and his mission has no affect on the overall plot. Amy, meanwhile, spends nearly the entire issue captured by Robotnik. She appears in a handful of panels and that’s the extent of her involvement.

When it’s not juggling the useless characters or abbreviating the story considerably, Archie’s “Sonic Adventure” adaptation is awkwardly juggling the actual video game mechanics. When Sonic and Tails are flying towards Eggman’s war ship, the Tornado transforms for absolutely no reason. Once aboard the ship, Sonic has to step on a series of buttons on the floor to transform the vessel. During the final fight with Chaos, Robotnik deploys a series of freezing machines to attack Sonic. This is a very poor idea, seeing as how Knuckles and Sonic immediately use the machines to freeze Chaos. Damn, Eggman, you didn’t think that one through, did you? All of these scenes just go to show how very different a media comic books are from video games.

Then again, maybe we can’t blame Karl Bollers too much for the comic’s scattered nature. Reportedly, Sega refused to provide Archie with an actual translation of the game’s script. Instead, Karl and Ken Penders had to play a Japanese version of the game and adapt their notes from that. So it’s no wonder the script is full of gaffs. Multiple references are made to Robotnik destroying the Ancient Ruins. As in, the unoccupied buildings outside the city limits. Wouldn’t you think Station Square, full of people and the current residence of the Freedom Fighters, would be a more dramatically sound place to threaten? What about the way the issue interchangeably uses the phrases Chaos Emeralds, Master Emerald shards, and Super Emeralds? Or that one time Knuckles is literately teleported onto the Egg Carrier’s deck, for seemingly no reason?

The script is a mess, perhaps inevitably so. Somehow, the artwork is even worst. “Sonic Super Special: Issue 13” represents the beginning of my least favorite period in Archie Sonic history. Rom Lim, a Marvel artist apparently of some acclaim, draws the issue. Soon enough, he would become the regular artist for the series. This is despite Lim’s complete inability to draw Sonic and friends. The Sega characters frequently have overly spindly bodies, with noodle limbs and insanely huge hands and feet. Lim’s facial expressions are hideous. His mouths are always angular, his faces blank, and his eyes perpetually stuck in stink mode. Often, his characters are making expressions totally at odds with the script, such as when Knuckles smirks evilly when encountering Sonic. A few times, Lim draws Robotnik as just a floating head.

As bad as the Sega crew looks, the Freedom Fighters somehow look shittier. Lim’s Sally is composed of jagged, furry edges. Her face bends into deeply unflattering shapes. Antione also has noodle legs but a weirdly weaselly face. Bunnie gains a strangely shapely, human-like body but has a face that wouldn’t pass muster among Bugs Bunny fan artist. A flashback to echidna history has Lim drawing the Knuckles Clan as indistinct blobs. Maybe Lim hadn’t adapted yet to drawing furries. Then why do his humans look equally generic and off-model? It’s absolute shit and, for some reason, Archie would invite Lim back to draw roughly a hundred other issues.

If it isn’t readily apparent, I’m not a huge fan of the “Sonic Adventure” adaptation. The story is a hack job. The pacing is abhorrent. The comic does a terrible job of balancing the different plot threads. The artwork is garbage. (Spaz contributes two whole panels and they're better then everything Lim would draw during his entire tenure on “Sonic.”) Archie has bungled some big events, before and after, but few were as poorly handled as “Sonic Adventure.” And get used to it, because things are going to stay this way for a while. [4/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 82

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 82
Publication Date: February 2000

For quite some time now, I’ve been talking about Archie and their “Sonic Adventure” adaptation. The truth is, the last several issues haven’t truly been a part of that adaptation. Instead, the comic book has been setting up the various narrative changes necessary to fit the new video game components into the comic’s world. With issue 82, the “Sonic Adventure” adaptation begins in earnest.

“Night of Chaos” starts with Sonic enjoying his stay in Station Square. He goes for a late night run across the rooftops of the city, pretending to be his favorite superheroes. Instead, he comes upon a collection of cop cars heading in one direction. He follows them, discovering a strange creature fighting the police. A being made of liquid, Sonic has a brief battle with the creature. From a distance, Dr. Eggman observes.

“Night of Chaos” is a direct adaptation of the opening boss battle of “Sonic Adventure.” The cover story even features some direct quotes from the video game. When the Station Square police officers attempt to shoot Chaos, their bullets harmlessly lodge in the creature’s watery body, falling to the ground. The fight, we discover, has been a way for Robotnik to test his newest weapon against Sonic. What Karl Bollers adds to this pre-existing plot line is some goofy opening narration, where Sonic talks about superheroes with names like the Rush, the Dark Bat, and the Super Surfer.

In other words, “Night of Chaos” is basically an action story. It’s a short one too, only running seven whole pages out of the book. An interesting hodgepodge of artist worked on the story. James Fry and Patrick Spazinate did the outlines. Nelson Ribeiro finished the pencils. This means there are individual panels that are clearly Fry or Spaz’s work. Such as anime-esque eyes and mouths on Sonic and the Station Squarers. Or nicely detailed panels of Sonic fighting off Chaos. The most distinctly Ribeiro touch is Chaos himself, who looks somewhat odd. His surface isn’t smooth but choppy, looking like a raging oatmeal monster instead of a being of animated water. Still, “Night of Chaos” is mildly entertaining for what it is.

The second story, “Door to the Past,” is this month’s Knuckles adventure. The writer and artist go uncredited but it’s clearly the work of Ken Penders and Steven Butler. Anyway, the plot: Knuckles’ exploration of the Ancient Ruins comes to a pause when he’s possessed by an ancient spirit. Calling herself Tikal, the entity explains the history of the area, its connection with the echidna race, and what happened to destroy that civilization. Meanwhile, the Chaotix continue to negotiate with the cat people on the near-by mainland.

If “Night of Chaos” was mostly a single action set-piece, “Door to the Past” is basically an exposition-fest. Once Tikal gets in contact with Knuckles, the story becomes devoted to parsing out the Ruins’ history. It turns out the area was colonized by some echidnas. The scientists left after fighting the felines while the warrior class stayed. In hopes of defeating this enemy, the warriors attempted to steal some Chaos Emeralds from a local shrine. This enraged Chaos, the protective spirit of the shrine and the peaceful Chao that lived there, who destroyed the echidnas. If you played “Sonic Adventure” back in 1999, you knew this already. Once again, the video game mythology fits roughly with Penders’ established Knuckles mythology. It would be years before Ian Flynn tied these two sources together in a more logical manner.

Knuckles is given nothing to do but respond to this information, making “Door to the Past” a fairly passive story. What about the Chaotix? It seems like Knuckles’ buddies have been in the same situation for months now. They remain captured by the residents of the Mysterious Cat Country. There’s some loose attempts at negotiation but it doesn’t amount to much. Just when things are threatening to get interesting, Penders has Locke wonder in. Because that always works out so well. In other words, “Door to the Past” feels mostly like narrative wheel spinning then actual story telling.

Issue 82 continues Archie’s recent habit of stuffing three stories into one comic book. “Double-Crossed Circuits” follows E-102 Gamma. We see his “Sonic Adventure” back story play out. Robotnik sends Gamma and his brothers to collect Froggy. Only Gamma succeeds, causing Robotnik to scrap the other robots. Afterwards, Gamma is sent to interrogate Amy Rose. Instead, the frightened girl moves something in the machine. He rescues her and now must face the consequences of his sudden sentience.

I have a soft spot for E-102 Gamma. Out of all the additions that “Sonic Adventure” made to the hedgehog’s universe, he’s my favorite. A robot learning to love is a standard tale but the game imbued it with a surprisingly amount of grace. Archie more-or-less follows the same outline as the game. What it adds is an interior monologue for Gamma, which is the primary dialogue in the story. The narration boxes are overdone but it still provides some insight into Gamma’s sudden change. Unlike the other two stories in the issue, at least this adds something to the video game’s story. “Double-Crossed Circuits” isn’t a lot but it’s still probably my favorite story in this issue. (By the way, this one is also uncredited. Since Bollers and Chris Allan handled the last Amy Rose-centric back story, I’m assuming they did this one as well.)

You can’t fight progress. Sega would not be denied their “Sonic Adventure” tie in, no matter how poorly it fit Archie’s already established world. With Issue 82, the comic hews more closely to the game, making this probably the most direct adaptation in the series’ history. It’s hard to judge, since it’s more-or-less just a transfer from one media to the other. I suppose this is an okay issue, as the first story is a swift action piece and the last is a mildly interesting character study. Only that exposition-laden middle story is a problem. [6/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 81

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 81
Publication Date: January 2000

If you’re wondering why the cover to issue 81 of Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” series is so damn awkward looking, I have an answer. Issue 80’s similarly awkward cover was originally intended for issue 33 of “Knuckles the Echidna.” Considering Manny Galan also drew 81’s cover and it prominently features Knuckles, I suspect the same is true of this issue. I’m a big defender Galan’s artwork but, when you’re used to Spaz’ stylish pencils, it’s a big step down. Anyway, what about the stories contained within?

Last time, Sonic and friends discovered that the Lost City of the Ancients was not a cobweb strewn collection of ruins. Instead, it was a modern city, bustling with life and technology. At first, the human residents attempt to arrest the Freedom Fighters, assuming them to be weirdo animals or something. However, Nate Morgan knows the police chief and keeps them out of trouble. Soon, the gang discovers the city’s true name: Station Square. Mayor Bullyani – a pop culture reference that’s going to age great, Archie – takes them on the tour of the city.

I know this is all I’ve been bitching about for several days now but it still needs to be said. Karl Bollers and Archie’s plan to integrate “Sonic Adventure’s” story into the comic universe was sloppy, at best. In “Sonic Adventure,” Sega made a decision that I still complain about to this day. It transformed Sonic into an urban creature, having his adventures in a big city populated with regular people. Since nothing like this existed on Archie’s Mobius, Bollers cooked up a half-baked solution. Now, Station Square is an extant colony of humans. The city is built inside a mountain, with an artificial sky and weather. It’s the textbook definition of an ass pull, the writer basically forcing something that has no business being in this universe into the story.

When Sally asks the Mayor how come the Stationers have never attempt to contact the outside world, he gets pissed and tells her that they felt no need to. They’re perfectly happy living inside their simulated city within a mountain, like something out of “The Matrix.” If the Mayor’s anger seems like it’s setting up a plot point – perhaps the Stationers are hiding some horrible secret? – it’s never followed up on. (Also never brought up again: How Nate Morgan knows the chief of police.) These guys are just content to live their lives, frozen at the end of the 20th century, in total isolation. No, I have no idea where they get materials to build their sky scrapers and make their food and goods.

The Freedom Fighters have come to the city to warn the residents about Robotnik’s encroaching invasion. You’d think this would add some tension or suspense to the story. Instead, the Mayor says they haven’t noticed anything unusual. The Freedom Fighters spend the rest of the story goofing off. Tails flies the Tornado through the fake sky, impressing the locals. Sonic eats chili dogs, plays his guitar by the hotel pool and seemingly prepares for an off-panel orgy with a whole bunch of hot anime girls. The rest of the gang are given a tour of the city via monorail. Obviously, Bollers is trying to introduce Station Square to the reader. In practice, it just makes the story seem like a waste of time that barely advances the plot. Because Archie was still sticking three stories into one comic book, it also ends prematurely, right when something interesting appears to be happening.

How about this month’s Knuckles story? As he had done many times before to little success, Ken Penders splits the limited page count among several different subplots. Robotnik tries to feed his little Chaos some Chaos Emerald shards, only to discover that what he’s mostly got are some green rocks. Knuckles flies around some ancient ruins, collecting shards himself. Meanwhile, the captured Chaotix continue to be hassled around by a bunch of asshole cat people. (As opposed to the cool Natasha Kinski/David Bowie cat people.)

“All You Need is a Bit of Chaos” is basically just a series of plot updates. About the only motivating things that actually happen in the story is Robotnik deploying E-102 Gamma and his brothers to retrieve Froggy. Knuckles flies around, sticks emerald shards inside his gloves, and spends four pages having a verbose conversations with himself. Once again, Ken reduces the Chaotix to captives. They’re tied up on a boat, poked by the cats, and bitch among themselves. This isn’t a horribly interesting story, the plot lifelessly marching through its expected narrative beats. Like the cover story, it also ends just when the plot looks like it might actually be going somewhere.

The second back-up story is also pretty weak but still manages to be my favorite story in this issue. Maybe that’s because the splash page said it was about Big the Cat when, in actuality, it’s about Amy Rose. The rather suggestively entitled “A Rose Plucked” is not about Amy loosing her virginity. Instead, it’s a standard adaptation of her “Sonic Adventure” storyline. A green bird with some sort of magical amulet around its neck is pursued by an asshole robot. Amy swears to protect it, using her newly granted access to hammer space to fight the robots. Instead, she’s captured, forcing the bird to rescue her instead.

It’s a fairly useless story. Amy’s split second decision to protect some random bird is hasty, to say the least. Her sudden super power, of producing a big ass mallet out of nowhere, is not explained. Chris Allan’s artwork continues to be horribly off-model, as he draws Amy with triple the cup size she usually has. But at least something actually happens in this story, even if the reader has little reason to care. Amy is introduced reveling in the joys of capitalism, by buying a whole bunch of shit. Yes, this further establishes her as a girly girl stereotype. It’s also kind of funny, considering she’s been living in a war torn village of grass huts most of her life. The action beat is less compelling, as it occupies all of one panel. Amy being captured at the end doesn’t make her look very effective but it’s also in keeping with the character, up to this point.

James Fry draws the cover story and it’s solid work from him, even if his Station Square residents are far too anime-esque. Steven Butler handles the Knuckles story and seems to be having a slightly off-day, as there’s little of the dynamic action that characterizes his best work. Mostly, 81 is a sub-par issue. “Sonic” is not being served well by the “Adventure” adaptation or Archie’s decision to stuff three stories into one issue. Here's some Sonic/Dragon Ball crossover artwork from the fana rt section. [4/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 80

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 80
Publication Date: December 1999

Issue 79 of Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” series began to lay the bricks for the forthcoming adaptation of Sega’s “Sonic Adventure” game. Issue 80 continues in much this matter. Now that Amy Rose’s age and appearance matches her video game counterpart’s re-design, the book can get down to introducing the more urban environment video game Sonic would soon find himself in.

Using the Ring of Acorn’s previously unmentioned ability to grant wishes, Amy Rose has wished herself into a more mature body. While Sonic points out that this doesn’t make her any more mature mentally, Nate Morgan still insist Amy accompanies them on their latest adventure. Soon, the gang piles into the Freedom Fighter Special and heads towards the Lost City of the Ancients. As they approach, Sonic and the gang discover the city isn’t a collection of ancient temples. Instead, it’s a bustling metropolis.

The cover story, with its somewhat baffling title of “If Wishes Were Acorns,” quickly resolves the previous issue’s cliff hanger. Yes, Amy Rose is now physically the same age as everyone else. Yes, she’s tagging along on this adventure. There’s no real plot reason for this but the Sega Corporate Machine would not be denied. “Sonic Adventure” would show Amy Rose going from an obscure member of Sonic’s supporting cast to the primary female face of the franchise. Archie had to follow suit, even if they would never let go of Princess Sally. The entire story change is awkward but let’s accept it and move on.

Even with a primarily plot-driven story such as these, Karl Bollers has gotten increasingly better at sneaking in small emotional weapons. Before leaving on their latest missions, Sonic and Sally bid their parents farewell. There’s a somewhat touching scene of Sally talking to her still comatose mother, hoping she’ll be well someday. Sonic has a heart-to-heart with Jules and Bernie. The hedgehog is worried, considering what happened to mom and dad last time he left town. His parents assure him they’ll be fine. This, once again, provides a more sentimental side to the speedy hedgehog. (Mina, who otherwise contributes nothing to the story, takes note of this.) It’s nice that Bollers continues to find room for emotional beats like this, even when tasked with moving the video game adaptation ahead.

One of the biggest problems with Archie adapting “Sonic Adventure” was how different the video game was from the comic book. Archie’s series still had its root in the anti-industrial SatAM, where Sonic and friends hung out in a forest and fought against Robotnik mechanizing the world. “Sonic Adventure,” meanwhile, had Sonic living in a thoroughly urban city and interacting with human beings. Bollers’ solution was not exactly seamless. After hyping it for an issue, issue 80 reveals that the Lost City of the Ancients is... A modern day city, populated by five fingered Overlanders. This plot development gets even more awkward before it’s over. But more on that next time. Needlessly to say, I’m not a huge fan of the role Station Square would play in the franchise’s history.

That “If Wishes Were Acorns” still manages to be an alright story is even more impressive, considering it has to share book space with two other stories. “Land Fall” shifts the focus to Knuckles the Echidna. After witnessing the Floating Island falling from the sky, he asks the Brotherhood of Guardians what the hell is up. True to form, his father and grandfathers evade direct answers, belittle Knuckles, and argue among themselves. Meanwhile, the Chaotix notice the Floating Island has touched down with a near-by terrestrial land mass… And the locals aren’t friendly.

Karl Bollers manged to keep the plot moving forward while still sneaking in some heart. Ken Penders, meanwhile, is not very good at that. “Land Fall” is all plot set-up and no heart. Mostly, the story seems to exist to correct a plot hole from last time. The Brotherhood didn’t notice Eggman invading the Island because their defense measures were still suffering from Hunter’s meddling. Considering how unhelpful the Brotherhood is in this scenario, as they immediately begin to bicker among themselves, it’s no wonder Knuckles quickly glides out of there. The Chaotix, meanwhile, are reduced to a cameo. There’s not much to it, the result being fairly disappointing. Art wise, Steven Butler is still adapting to the Knuckles cast. His Thunderhawk and Vector look a little off. Unlike Spaz and other artist, he does draw Julie-Su with her canonical flat chest. These things are important to me.

“Land Fall” is mediocre but it’s still better then Pender’s second contribution to issue 80. “Swallowing Trouble” has an embarrassing title as well as the embarrassing duty of introducing Big the Cat and Froggy. These two are easily the most useless additions “Sonic Adventure” would make to the Sonic cast. The short story basically adapts Big’s first scene from the game, showing Froggy leaping from his chest, swallowing a bit of Chaos’ body, mutating, and wandering off. Before Big can save him, Froggy is abducted by a robot.

Ken Penders’ attempt to flesh out this brief story outline is not compelling. Froggy was silent in the video game but, for some reason, Ken gives the frog an interior monologue. These dialogue balloons make Froggy seem disproportionately bitchy, as he spends most of his page time criticizing his big, fat, sleeping friend. Big, a doofus in canon, is further humiliated by his attempt to rescue Froggy. Basically, you’d get more out of this story just by watching the Dreamcast cut scene. Further contributing to the story’s uselessness is Jim Valentino’s typically hideous artwork. I do not know why Sega keeps inviting this guy back. His artwork is loose, off-model, and cartoonish.

Issue 80 is somewhat compromised, as the story momentum is totally devoted to setting up the up-coming game adaptation. Despite that, Bollers still makes the most of it, creating a decent cover story. The two back-up stories, however, range from forgettable to outright bad. That evens out to a [6/10.]