Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 75

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 75
Publication Date: July 1999

When it came to the anniversary issues of Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” series, I didn’t have the best luck. I missed issue 25 on newsstand, not reading it until just earlier this year. The same can be said of issue 75. I vaguely recall flipping through the issue at one point – reading enough to see the big reveal – but have never owned a copy before. Once again, I sit down to read and review an issue I’ve missed before. Moreover, it’s an important story, as it ushers us from the post-Robotnik world into the Age of Eggman.

After dousing the seemingly resurrected Robontik with a corrosive liquid, Sonic and friends are faced with… Robo-Robotnik, the far more vicious and mechanical version of Sonic’s adversary from an alternate universe, seen introduced all the way back in issue 19. While the Freedom Fighters battle the robotic dictator aboard his satellite, hoping to free the re-enslaved Robians, a newly deployed army of Shadowbots attack Mobotropolis. Sonic and friends make an escape with the help of an unexpected ally: Snively, who is just as terrified of this new Robontik as the Freedom Fighters. Despite destroying the satellite, the new menace is far from gone.

I wish issue 75 was a satisfying conclusion to some of the plot threads Karl Bollers has been building up for two years now. Instead, “I Am the Eggman” is a story that collapses under the weight of its narrative obligations. The issue opens with a heaping helping of exposition. Presumably for the benefit of readers who haven’t been around since issue 19, Robo-Robotnik explains his origins, detailing the dimension he comes from. It’s definitely freezes the pace of a story just as it was hitting its most exciting point. (Bollers also creates a continuity error, by assuming that the Robo-Robotnik that appeared in issue 19 is also the self-robotocized Robotnik that appeared in the alternate future of issue 22. Honestly, this is the kind of minor, nitpicking flaw that I can’t be bothered with.)

The villain going on a long-winded monologue isn’t the only pacing flaw in issue 75. Sonic and the Freedom Fighers spends half of the story encased in an energy field. Their inability to escape is why the bad guy can ramble on for so long. At this point, the stakes of the story are very personal for Sonic. His entire family has been enslaved and his arch-enemy is back from the grave. Yet, instead of getting a chance to launch into action and kick ass, Sonic is imprisoned.

At least a few of the dangling plot threads are handled decently. As Sonic and friends are making their escape from the satellite, Jules and Bernie reveal that they aren’t mindless slaves. They were just pretending. The power rings they used to renew their vowels back in issue 73 protected their souls. That’s a bit of a cheat but there’s a precedence in the book for that kind of thing. Snively helping Sonic escape is also a slight cheat. You’d be forgiven for forgetting that he was aboard the ship, considering he hasn’t been referenced for an issue. However, I do like the twist of Snively betraying Robo-Robotnik, as he doesn’t recognize this psychotic robot as his uncle. It’s not smooth but at least it builds upon elements previously introduced.

If you’re expecting big action from this anniversary issue, you might be disappointed. Sonic and Robo-Robotnik briefly tussle, for all of a few panels. Embarrassingly, the hedgehog bounces right off the mechanical madman’s belly. How the Freedom Fighters escape Robotnik’s satellite isn’t one of the story elements set up by previous events. Sally, thinking ahead, packed some high explosives in her space suit. Off screen, she summons their shuttle to the port, making for a big escape and a big explosion. That’s about it as far as action goes.

If I don’t sound enthusiastic about this story, it’s because I’m not a fan of the direction it would take the series. While Sonic and the Freedom Fighters are talked to death in space, Robo-Robotnik sends a fleet of Shadowbots to take over Mobotropolis. Amy, Nate Morgan, and Geoffrey St. John’s Secret Service fight off the machines while the King, Prince Elias, and Sally’s ill mom barely escape. By the final pages of the story, Robotnik has taken the city back.

In other words, two years of work – of exploring and developing the political and social ramifications of Robotnik’s defeat – are right down the crapper. Sega’s status quo would not be denied. Sonic and the Freedom Fighters are exiled once again, while their greatest enemy waltz right back into the position of power he left a while ago. Same as it ever was.

Of course, there’s one big difference. Sally exploding the Satellite doesn’t kill Robo-Robotnik. He simply downloads his consciousness into a new mechanical body, stored away at a previous point. Back in issue 71, comic Sonic gained a redesign matching his appearance in the upcoming “Sonic Adventure” game. The entire story line involving Robotnik’s space probes was essentially a long build-up to the villain gaining his appearance from the same game. Robotnik is gone, giving way to Eggman. Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.

The post-“Endgame” period was far from perfect. In truth, it was rift with flaws. However, I always applauded Bollers and Penders attempting to move the book in a new, more interesting direction. With the reappearance of Robotnik, and Sega’s insistence of bringing the comics in line with “Sonic Adventure,” the comic was forced to back-tracked. The resulting reworking would put the series in a rut that it wouldn’t escape for years. So begins the Dork Age. Oh boy. [5/10]

Knuckles the Echidna: Issue 27

Knuckles the Echidna: Issue 27
Publication Date: June 1999

As I mentioned last time, the promise of focusing on Knuckles and Julie-Su’s relationship made me eager to check out issue 26. I enjoyed that comic book but never picked up the other two parts. This was less an intentional choice and more because I don’t think I made it to the comic shop that month. So now, eighteen years later, I finally get to read the rest of the “First Date” story arc. This is a momentous occasion, I’m sure you agree.

The second half of “The First Date,” which is verbosely subtitled “Who Wrote the Book of Love?,” does not satisfyingly follow-up on the first part’s cliffhanger. Yeah, Knuckles has walked in on Julie-Su having brunch with some other echidna. Instead of confronting her, he looses his cool and has Archimedes teleport him back out of there. Of course, Julie-Su has no feelings for this Raynor dork. After both Knuckles and Julie-Su angst about the relationship – and Knuckles nearly beats up Vector – he finally gets up the cajones to asks her out on a date.

On paper, issue 27 unnecessarily stretches the storyline out further. The entire cover story is, more or less, based around the two teens wondering anxiously if their feelings are reciprocated. And, yeah, some times the story feels like its dragging its feet. When Knuckles is having slapstick antics inside the restaurant, nothing is added to the story. Knuckles bumping into the Chaotix at an arcade, and nearly giving Vector the beating he has long deserved, is mostly unneeded. However, I go to bat for Knuckles agonizing over his asking Julie-Su out. We can’t forget that the Guardian is 16 years old. Agonizing over whether or not a girl likes them is exactly what sixteen year olds do. Yes, Penders’ writing is as inelegant as always. However, I think he handles this particular plot turn alright.

Knuckles’ story is natural if bumpy. Julie-Su’s part of the story seems a little more compelling. Being a hot and bad ass young woman, it’s totally expected that she would attract male attention. While Knuckles stumbles into his feelings, like the awkward bruiser he’s always been, Julie-Su gives it more thought. She’s got a guy making goo-goo eyes at her but he’s not the one she wants. Poor girl. You really feel for her. A panel devoted to Julie-Su sitting in her apartment, distraught, is definitely my favorite moment from this issue. Naturally, Knuckles does eventually ask Julie-Su out, ending this story on a triumphant moment. Of course, now the anxiety about the actual date begins.

The script for issue 27 is pretty good, all things considered, but it wouldn’t be an issue of “Knuckles” without some obnoxious business with the Brotherhood of Guardiands. The various Fire Ants and Knuckles’ granddads seem way too invested in Knuckles and Julie-Su’s romance. They all basically demand to spy on the boy. Locke, in an unexpected moment of clearheadness, decides to protect his son’s privacy.

Naturally, that ridiculous “Soul Touch” business crops up again. Archimedes explains that particular plot contrivances thusly: Echidnas suck at romance as a species. Therefore, sexual attraction is attributed to magic. Is it just me or does all of this feel like a big excuse to justify Locke and Lara-Le’s dysfunctional relationship? No, Ken, Locke and Lara-Se broke up because Locke is an asshole. Anyway, it’s dumb and puts a damper on a story I otherwise enjoy.

Oh yeah, the artwork kind of sucks too. Once again, this Chris Allen guy handles the pencils. Allen doesn’t really have a grasp on the characters’ proportions. His Knuckles – and other echidnas, for that matter – often bend into shapeless blob. Archimedes shifts in size randomly. Julie-Su remains weirdly short and squat. Vector and the other Chaotix are obviously off-model. He doesn’t even seem to understand were the character’s heads and limbs are in relation to their necks and bodies. Why did Archie keep letting people like this to draw the book?

The back-up story continues Mighty’s quest to relocate Ray the Squriel. Along with Nic the Weasel and Fiona Fox, he explores the Robotnik work camp where he met Sonic years before. Fiona shows some resentment towards Mighty but goes along on the mission anyway. Mighty remembers rescuing the girl years earlier and later teaming up with Sonic to escape the place. In the present, the trio discovers deactivated Auto-Automatons of the Freedom Fighters. Then the story ends suddenly.

The story is called “Those Were the Days…,” which must be an ironic title. It has so much potential. Mighty feels guilt over abandoning his friend years before. Robotnik's recruiting organics to work in a mine, when he has plenty of robots at his disposals, seems like an odd story. Yet it provides an interesting set-up, of a young Sonic and Mighty having bad ass adventures before either became associated with their teams. Sadly, the story rushes through all these points, draining them of their emotions. Flesh-and-blood Fiona and Nic continue to be thinly sketched characters. Nic is mostly defined by her greed and Fiona is mostly defined by her anger. At the very least, the artwork is better then the cover story. Manny Galan draws the flashback sequences while Andrew Pepoy draws the present day scenes. Galan’s artwork is typically solid. Pepoy’s work is a bit too angular but he gets the job done.

The back-up story is fairly weak. Even the cover story has some serious problems. Still, I continue to like the emotional, comedic, and laid-back stakes of “The First Date” story arc. Let’s hope Ken doesn’t fuck it up in the third act. [7/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 74

(My internet was out all day yesterday which is why this is so late. I am greatly ashamed of myself and can only hope my begs for forgiveness are enough for you.)

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 74
Publication Date: June 1999

With issue 74, Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” series finally pays off a plot point that it’s been building up for about two years. Since at least issue 62 – only twelve issues after his initial defeat – the series has been hinting at the inevitable return of Dr. Robotnik. Well, the wait is finally over. Issue 74, whose cover story is actually entitled “Don’t Cal It a Comeback!,” - presumably because Robotnik has resumed rockin' peers and puttin' suckas in fear - features the most expected and unavoidable resurrection of Dr. Ivo Robotnik.

Picking up were issue 73’s cliffhanger left off, Sonic reports to King Acorn that all the Robians in Knothole Village – including his parents, Uncle Chuck, and even Muttski – have vanished. Sonic correctly assumes the mysterious satellites in the sky are responsible. Because he’s an asshole, King Acorn forbids Sonic from investigating further. He ignores him, of course. So do the rest of the Freedom Fighters. Before the day is over, Nate Morgan has retro-fitted an old Robotnik built space shuttle to launch the Freedom Fighters into space. They sneak aboard the villain’s astral platform and discover two things. Robotnik is alive and well and living in space. He’s also kidnapped all the Robians and is using them for slave labor abroad his station. This, naturally, really pisses Sonic off.

Sonic’s parents vanishing was admittedly a last minute twist Karl Bollers pulled out of his ass this time. However, it at least provides issue 74 with some decent emotional drive. It makes the conflict personal for Sonic. (The hedgehog figuring out that the mysterious space devices are connected shows that Sonic’s thinking is occasionally as fast as his feet.) Once again, there’s no reason for King Acorn to be acting like such an asshole. However, I do like the Freedom Fighters defying orders and doing what needs to be done anyway. Since getting Sonic and Tails back in Knothole, Bollers definitely seems to be making an effort to get the team together on missions.

Either in the name of sustaining suspense longer or adding some narrative breathing room, Sonic and friends don’t immediately fly into space. A cool moment has Sonic calling on Dulcy the Dragon to carry their shuttle into the upper atmosphere. This is the first time Dulcy has appeared in the book since issue 68 and the first time she’s actually contributed to a plot since “Endgame” ended. She would continue to be an inconsistent presence throughout the book going forward. So it’s nice that Karl brought Ducly back for a brief role, right on the eve of the comic’s sixth anniversary. (Also, where else are you going to see a dragon lift a rocket ship full of furries to the edge of space?)

While the cover promise Sonic and the Freedom Fighters going on adventures in outer space, that actually compromises a brief portion of the story. While drifting towards the satellite, the gang rushes into a crowd of space junk, which is a mildly amusing gag. Once aboard the platform, Robotnik makes himself known. Sally, Bunnie, and Antione take the time to point out how angry this makes Sonic. And I can imagine how furious he must be. After fighting Robotnik for ten years, he finally defeats the guy… Only for him to return less then a year later. And to make a dick move even dick-ier, the asshole has also kidnapped and brainwashed his family. However, I wish Sonic’s rage was given more page space. The fight between the reunited hero and villain is brief before the story crashes into yet another cliffhanger.

Still, Steven Butler’s artwork remains impressive. He makes good use of the character’s faces, showing the complex mix of emotion Sonic must be feeling. The panel of Dulcy carrying the shuttle into the upper atmosphere is really impressive. The interior of Robotnik’s satellite feels appropriately sinister. Butler also makes the sudden appearance of the Shadow Bots, Ivo’s newly updated robotic warriors, memorable.

After an incredibly awkward one-page spread with artwork from Chris Allan, Amy Rose flashes back to a few days ago, when Uncle Chuck was regaling her with Tales of the Great War. In this installment of Ken’s backstory filling arc, Chuck explains how Robotnik came to live in Mobius and how he plotted his eventual take-over.

Robotnik’s path from exile to warlord to tyrant has been explained in the book before. Issue 72’s “I, Robotnik” covered much of the same ground. However, “Enter… Robotnik” nicely provides a close-up on some of the events. Most of the back-up story is devoted to how Robontik betrayed Kodos. It once again establishes how big of a bastard the villain is. He strikes Kodos in the head from behind and drops his unconscious body into the Zone of Silence. Ruthless. However, the story doesn’t make the Mobians look very intelligent. Chuck outright admits it was in their nature at the time to take people at their word. In other words, if King Acorn had been a little more skeptical, Robotnik’s rise to power might have been avoided. Still, it’s a solid story. Art Mawhinney’s artwork is as strong as ever, even if his rendition of pre-Robotnik Julian looks super weird.

While the stories could’ve done a lot more, issue 74 is fairly satisfying. We see Sonic and the gang do some prime adventuring while one of the comic’s most extended story arcs is finally reached its turning point. I may not be a huge fan of where the comic is going in the near future but this is still a solid issue. [7/10]

Knuckles the Echidna: Issue 26

Knuckles the Echidna: Issue 26
Publication Date: May 1999

As a kid, I was unusually invested in Knuckles and Julie-Su’s relationship. Which is weird since, as I’ve previously pointed out, I barely read “Knuckles” solo comic at the time. Even from the few issues I had read, I became unusually attached to Julie-Su. I guess a tough, pink, cyborg echidna chick was a character I had been looking for. Or maybe I deeply desired Knuckles to have a love interest equal to what Sonic and Sally had. Either way, when I saw that issue 26 of “Knuckles” would revolve around his relationship with Julie-Su, I had to pick it up.

Following their reconciliation last issue, Knuckles and Locke are spending some father/son time together. Despite reconnecting with his long, lost dad, Knuckles’ mind is on another subject: Julie-Su. Locke explains the Soultouch to Knuckles, the bullshit psychic connection thing that draws echidnas to their mates. Meanwhile, Julie-Su is also wondering about her feelings with Knuckles. Even further meanwhile, Vector and the other Chaotix shoot the shit in a mall.

My biggest complaint about the “Knuckles” series is Ken’s self-involved, ridiculous, obnoxious mythology rail-roading any honest character interaction or development. “The First Date” story arc was a refreshing change of pace. There was no arch villains, convoluted plots, or stupid mythology to explain. It was just a story about Knuckles and Julie-Su coming to a decision about their feelings for each other, a way overdue development.

Okay, there’s no stupid myth-building… Except for one thing. For a while now, Ken has been hinting that Knuckles and Julie-Su’s connection isn’t so simple. Apparently, having them both be young, hot, tough, and relating over shitty parents wasn’t enough. Instead, Julie-Su has been compelled to pursue Knuckles for some reason. Now, we know that reason: The Soultouch. Yeah, there’s some stupid, psychic juju that goes on when echidnas give each other boners. It’s dumb. Why did you have to be so dumb, Ken?

Knuckles and Julie-Su wondering out loud about their feelings for each other is way more compelling. The two teens handle their emotions in very different ways. Used to having old people explain shit to him, Knuckles asks his dad. Per the average, Locke explains some vague spiritual nonsense and then disappears. Julie-Su, meanwhile, shoots a picture of Knuckles with a motherfucking gun. That seems pretty reasonable, considering Knuckles abandoned her in the middle of the city last time. After that, Julie-Su goes shopping. If this was Tumblr, I would accuse Penders of being sexist, by assuming all women love shopping or something. Instead, I’ll point out that retail therapy works for any gender. Moreover, both teens are kind of confused about their feelings. Which is accurate. Love does that to you.

Of course, there’s got to be a sting in the scorpion's tail. After his dad fucks off, Knuckles is left to brood in some Haven waiting room. Archimedes appears and teleports Knuckles to wherever Julie-Su is. The problem is Julie-Su decided to get coffee with some rando. Some fucking echidna in a Chewbacca bandolier who bought her a hat. It’s not smooth writing but Knuckles popping in on Julie-Su making goo-goo eyes with some dipshit makes for a hell of a cliffhanger.

Oh yeah, there’s more. The Chaotix are dealing with Charmy leaving the group. While hanging out at the mall, Espio reveals that he knows more about Charmy then the others. Somehow, this segues into a conversation about Vector’s ability to attract females. I don’t think Ken wrote it this way on purpose, but this is how it plays out: Vector is gay. That would explain why he hates Julie-Su so much. That would explain why he’s so terrified when he hears that Charmy is engaged. That would explain why his attempts to seduce women are so facile and shallow. Vector the Crocodile is deeply closeted, his internalized homosexuality manifesting as misogyny. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself, since it makes this stupid subplot more compelling.

Someone named Chris Allan provides the pencils for the cover story. The artwork is pretty off. Luckily, Manny Galan returns for the back-up story. Mighty the Armadillo teams up with Nic the Weasel, Nack’s previously unmentioned female sister. The weasel promises that she’s gotten a lead on Ray the Squirrel, Mighty’s long lost childhood best friend. On the way to their destination, Mighty flashbacks to his childhood adventure with Ray and Sonic... Before the last panel reveals the return of Fiona the Fox. But not the one you think it is.

Considering the Chaotix are kind of important characters, it’s good that Ken is finally filling their back stories in a bit. In “Friend in Need,” he even does a sort of clever thing. The obscure SegaSonic arcade game was the first appearance of Mighty the Armadillo, where he co-stared along side Sonic and Ray. So integrating both of these characters into Mighty’s origin is a neat idea. Ray’s stutter marks him as a different character, even if we get no other development on him. Showing that he let a friend down at some point explains Mighty’s deeper attributes. As for Nic the Weasal and not-robot Fiona, neither have proven compelling just yet. Maybe that’ll get better maybe.

I’ve given issue 26 a lot of shit but it’s not a bad issue. It might honestly be one of the better issues, considering Ken puts a leash on one or two of his ten thousand annoying quirks. The story has some emotional heft to it which counts for something. The backstory is short but not terrible. That pays off to a [7/10,] I guess.

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 73

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 73
Publication Date: May 1999

In May of 1999, the launch of the Sega Dreamcast was three months away. The release of “Sonic Adventure” was coming with it. For Archie’s comics, that meant the interesting world they had built up since Robotnik’s death was about to be washed away. Sonic had already got his new eye color and shoes. The return of his archenemy was quickly forthcoming. Issue 73 is primarily devoted to further laying the groundwork for that reunion, story momentum be damned.

In Knothole Village, Princess Sally and Prince Elias have a heart to heart. The prince reveals to his sister that he has no interest in taking the crown of Mobotropolis, which comes as a surprise to Sally. The personal moment is interrupted when Sally calls a Freedom Fighter powwow. She reveals that Nicole has noticed strange satellites assembling above the planet’s surface. Each time one of the strange events that have been plaguing the heroes happen, one of these satellites activated. At that very moment, Snively finds himself inside one of those satellites, which assemble themselves into a proper space base.

Once again, I wonder if Karl Bollers’ was struggling to find some emotional truth inside the comic’s forward marching plot. Issue 73, whose cover story is obnoxiously entitled “The Truth is Out There…,” begins with an emotional moment. Jules and Bernie renew their vowels, wearing Power Rings around their wrists designed by Uncle Chuck. It’s a sweet moment, another attempt to establish Sonic’s frequently sidelined parents as real characters. Meanwhile, the discussion between Sally and Elias provides some insight into the prince’s personality, another character still thinly developed at this point. Of course Elisa doesn’t want to be king. He’s a teenager. Both characters are still reeling from the shock of discovering their siblings. These aren’t crystal clear moments but their good examples of the book trying.

However, these emotional moments have to be pushed to the margins by the demands of the on-going story arc. Half way through the issue, Sally and Nicole drop a bucket load of exposition on her fellow heroes. The worst part about this elongated sequence is the reader already knows this stuff. We already know that the mysterious satellites are responsible for the strange things that have been happening. Was it necessary to painstakingly detail each development? Did Bollers think the reader might have forgotten? Couldn’t the Freedom Fighters discovering this information been covered in a few panels, instead of several pages?

If that wasn’t enough, several word balloons in the early pages are devoted to correcting a fucking continuity error. Early reports that Uncle Chuck invented the Power Rings were mistaken, as he simply learned the art from Nate Morgan. Yeah, Karl, that was pressing.

Maybe the book was trying to build suspense for the easily predicted reveal on the last page. The Freedom Fighters believe him dead but we already know that Snively is on the space base. We also already know that Robotnik is alive and living in space, considering issue 72 basically revealed it. Despite that, “The Truth is Out There…” plays coy before devoting an entire page to Robotnik’s full-color return at the end. He’s back, you guys, like it or not.

That reveal steals power from the story’s better cliffhanger, the mysterious disappearance of Sonic’s parents. At the very least, issue 73 features some fine Steven Butler pencils. His version of Sally looks fantastic. The decision to show the satellites hooking up one side of the page, while the Freedom Fighters talk on the other side, was an interesting choice.

In the back pages, Ken Penders continues his “Tales of the Great War” saga. Uncle Chuck enters the library where Tails, Amy and Jeremiah are reading Kirby’s account of the Great War. Chuck picks up the volume and continues where we left off. A period of unsteady peace between the Kingdom of Acorn and the Overlanders lasted for several decades. Unbeknownst to the King, people inside his own kingdom where plotting against him. Ixis Naugus manipulated Warlord Kodos into brutally murdering two peaceful emissaries from both countries. The dead bodies where then sent back to each country’s leader. War is eminent.

The history of Mobius continues to be dark as fuck. And I love it. The second volume of “Tales of the Great War” shares many annoying Penders-isms. The first two pages are devoted to Ken, via the proxy of Uncle Chuck, lavishing praise on Jack Kirby, via the proxy of the Mobian Kirby. Also, Amy and Tails seem way to enthusiastic about hearing a story full of bloodshed and treachery.

Having said that, a “Sonic” comic is probably the last place you’d expect to see two people having their necks crushed. Yes, the violence happens off-panel. Yet seeing Kudos’ face twist in anger, hearing the crunches, and seeing the mangled remains somehow makes the act more disturbing. The Great War was a - duh - war. Lives were lost. Inhumane acts were committed in the name of patriotism. It’s heavy stuff for a kid’s book and not even Ken’s rusty words can disguise that.

That’s pretty much what the book was during this era. Daring, powerful, personal moments shoved alongside awkward writing and story construction. Both the cover story and back story of Issue 73 have some strong moments and their weak moments. It’s an uneven book and all the more frustrating, considering how close it was to being really good. Aw well. [6/10]

Sonic Super Special: Issue 10 – Crossover Chaos

Sonic Super Special: Issue 10 – Crossover Chaos
Publication Date: July 1999

Archie’s ill-fated attempt to drive “Sonic” readers to their faltering “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” comic continued in issue 10 of the Sonic Super Special quarterly series. I’ve mentioned before how, as a kid, I was susceptible to Archie’s hype. I mean, shit, they even managed to get my pumped for the Image crossover. Yet, even back then, I thought Sonic and Sabrina meeting one another was odd. At the time, I considered the cross-over a nothing story, totally disposable. The cross-over theme of SSS #10 continues in other ways, as the story also features the Archie Sonic meeting up with the “Sonic Underground” universe, a then new series.

“Some Enchantra Evening: Chapter Two” picks up where “Sabrina the Teenage Witch Issue 28” left off. The bewitched Sonic is about to wreck Sabrina’s shit when she teleports the hedgehog to the top of Mount Everest. Before Sabrina and Sally can parse what’s truly going on, Sonic returns. This time, he sets the sights on Sabrina’s high school. The teenage witch zaps herself to that location and just barely defeats the mind-controlled hero. Unconsciousness resumes Sonic’s control over his own mind. Sally locates Enchantra, talks her into leaving Mobius alone, and Sabrina and the super-powered bitch settle their differences.

The second part of “Some Enchantra Evening” is marginally better then the first only because it slows way the fuck down on the lame humor. There’s one or two of Mike Gallagher’s puns. (One of which “I 8 when that happens!,” said while Sonic performs a figure 8, is practically identical to a joke Gallagher used all the way back in “Super Sonic vs. Hyper Knuckles.”) Instead, the focus is more on Sabrina stopping Sonic’s rampage and Sally outsmarting Enchantra. But don’t mistake this for a compliment, as the story is still incredibly lame.

For example, the fight between Sabrina and Sonic, which I guess is the main attraction, is highly anticlimactic. Sabrina literally trips Sonic as he’s running. He twirls her around with the aforementioned figure eight maneuver. Sonic then spins around the witch in a cyclone, sucking away her air. Before passing out, Sabrina magically moves a tree into Sonic’s path. That’s it. The fight last all of two pages. It’s lame.

The resolution of the story isn’t much better. In the last act, Sally finally explains how the hell she got to Sabrina’s world. Enchantra left the portal between worlds open, presumably because she’s an idiot. Sally then yells at Enchantra about all the bad-ass villains that exist on Mobius and how they would totally wreck her shit if allowed. Even though the witch has the ability to open and close the portal at any time, this talk convinces her to cut it out. Sabrina and Enchantra then resolve their incredibly stupid conflict which, if you don’t remember, began over a school history report. “Some Enchantra Evening” is one of those stories that are so bad, they retcon themselves out of existence. At the end, Enchantra zaps Sonic and Sally back to Mobius a second after being taken, removing their memories of these events. I recommend the reader does the same.

Once again, the story continues with the agreement of Dan DeCarlo drawing the Sabrina characters and Dave Manak drawing the Sonic characters. DeCarlo is apparently respected in some circles so I assume his artwork is usually better then the flat, detail lacking work here. As for Manak, it’s very apparent that he’s forgotten how to draw Sonic and friends. Sonic has a giant, bulbous head, his proportions never looking right. Sally’s vest, meanwhile, has fused into a weird low-cut top. As I mentioned last time, DeCarlo and Manak’s work is so similar that I don’t know why one of them didn’t just draw the whole story.

The second story continues the Zone War that began back in Sonic Super Special Issue 8. Zonic the Zone-Cop interrupts a pleasant picnic the Freedom Fighters are having. He’s got another mission for Sonic Prime. After an uprising on the Anti-Mobius, Anti-Sonic has been recruited by an alternate universe of Robotnik to collect the pieces of the Giant Borg. That is, the big ass robot Sonic and his many doppelgangers smashed back in issue 19. Sonic and Zonic team up with the only version of Sonic that hasn’t been convinced to hand over his piece. That version of Sonic is in a rock band with his brother and sister, fighting a war against another version of Robontik. This Robotnik has already reassembled the Giant Borg but, luckily, it only takes two Sonics to defeat it this time.

Ah yes, “Sonic Underground,” the cartoon show that managed to disappointed me even when I was ten years old. The series was similar to “SatAM” on a surface level but lacked the heart and balance of stakes that made that show great. In place of that, it had identical siblings for Sonic, obnoxious comic relief villains, and a fucking terrible musical number each episode. (About the only thing the cartoon had going for it was the first American animated appearance of Knuckles. And, no, he’s not in this story.) There was no reason for Archie to acknowledge “Sonic Underground” existed but, I’m guessing, somebody up the corporate ladder figured the comic should help promote the new cartoon. After all, both the comic and animated series existed, in a round about way, to bring attention to the new system and game created by the SEGA Overlords.

As for “A Tale of Two Hedgehogs,” it’s pretty shitty. The strife among the Anti-Freedom Fighters is mildly diverting. Watching alternate universe versions of Sonic, Antoine, and Sally bitch at each other almost reaches the level of trashy fun. It’s all a bit of a misdirect, as Anti-Sonic’s role in the story is fairly unimportant.

Once the story proper gets moving, the plot falls into lameness very quickly. The Giant-Borg is nothing but a plot device, the pieces being reassembled off-screen. The giant robot rampages through a city for all of one page, barely enough time to establish it as a threat. It takes only a little bit longer for the two Sonics to destroy it. Sonic-Prime distracts Robotnik while Sonic-Underground leads a homing missile back to the robot’s cockpit. There’s an utterly incoherent bit in the middle, where it’s reveal that apparently the Robotnik that organizes this scheme isn’t the Underground version but rather the version that will soon reveal himself in the main comic. This is a confusing sideline and muddles the plot.

As a commercial for “Sonic Underground,” this doesn’t fare very well either. The entire premise of the new series is shoved into a two-page spread in the middle of the story. It accomplishes the same goal as the show’s expositionary theme song. The reader doesn’t get much of a bead on the new characters’ personality. What seals this story’s shitty status is the artwork. Jim Valentino was, for some reason I can’t fathom, invited back to draw Sonic. His artwork continues to be awful. The characters’ facial expressions range from grotesque to comical. Despite being so bad at drawing faces, Valentino often zooms in on them. It’s pretty clear Valentino doesn’t know how to draw the Sonic cast, as they frequently go off-model. The action is not clearly drawn while the backgrounds remain vague and empty.

It sucks. The whole book sucks. The Sonic Super Special series was often unnecessary and this issue is one of the most unnecessary. Which would you prefer? A painfully unfunny crossover with a series you almost definitely do not care about? Or a terribly drawn, weakly plotted crossover with everyone’s fifth favorite “Sonic” cartoon? Ah, I see, this is one of those “rancid milk/moldy bread” dilemmas. [The dreaded 3/10]

Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Issue 28

Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Issue 28
Publication Date: July 1999

Despite the fact that I’ve been reading Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” comics nearly my entire life, I’ve never had any interest in their other flagship characters. I’m referring to the character the company is actually named after and his supporting cast of love interests, friends, and spin-offs. I’ve never felt the need to read the adventures of the Riverdale gang. However, there is one Archie character I have some familiarity with. Or at least, a version of her anyway…

Archie (the company) first started publishing comics featuring Sabrina the Teenage Witch back in the early sixties. She often crossed over with Archie (the character) and got her own series in 1971, which ran for thirteen years. In the mid-nineties, for some reason, ABC aired a sitcom based off Sabrina’s comic book and starring Melissa Joan Hart. Watching now as an adult, I now know the show is incredibly dumb. As a kid, I rarely missed an episode. Starting in May 1997, Archie began to publish a “Sabrina” comic book again, obviously to tie in with the successful TV show.

Why the hell am I talking about this? For some reason, in the summer of 1999, Sonic the Hedgehog and Sabrina the Teenage Witch met in issue 28 of her comic book. The cross-over would continue in issue 10 of the Sonic Super Specials series. I can’t figure out the narrative reasons why Archie thought these two drastically different characters should meet. But I can take a guess at the financial reasons. This particular incarnation of the “Sabrina” comic book would end in December of 1999, a few months after this issue was published. That suggests Sabrina’s sales were starting to flag, even with the successful sitcom on the air. Archie probably hopped a cross-over with “Sonic” – whose popularity was supporting three separate series at the time – would help sell a few more “Teenage Witch” comics. Obviously, the plan didn’t work. (Archie has subsequently rebooted “Sabrina” at least two more times.)

Sonic and Sabrina don’t encounter each other until the second story in issue 28 of “Sabrina.” But I’m a professional and, thus, will review the entire comic book. “Thor Loser” – get used to puns on that level – begins in whatever alternate realm witches come from in the Archie-verse. Some sorcerer named Enchantra is pissed at Sabrina. After helping her get an A+ on her history report, Sabrina failed to properly credit Enchantra. Yes, a missed citation is all it takes to ensure the wizard’s wrath. Anyway, Enchantra’s secretary, Della, is ordered to sic the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse on Sabrina and her aunts. Because of a typing error, the Four Norseman attack Sabrina’s home instead. The witches stun the Norsemen, which includes the god Thor, and wipes their memories. Aunt Helga and Zelda take three of the Norseman to Florida. Sabrina takes Thor for a walk through the park. After raining thunder down on Sabrina’s friends, Enchantra realizes the mistake and zaps all the four guys back to Norway.

Man, if you thought the humor in the early “Sonic” comics were pedestrian, get a load of this shit. What passes for jokes in “Sabrina” are the broadest of sight gags. When Thor meets Sabrina’s friends, he launches their croquet ball into orbit, crushes the dude’s hand during a handshake, and creates a thunder storm. Aside from the handful of painful puns, that’s pretty much it. The sitcom might have actually had more sophisticated humor then this. No, the implications of memory wiping and mind control are not explored. Neither is why seemingly omniscient witches have to use typewriters. Dan DeCarlo had been drawing “Sabrina” and many other Archie series since the sixties. His artwork is fairly flat, jagged, and overly cartoony. But I also suspect this shitty comic book doesn’t represent his best work.

At the end of “Thor Loser,” Salem – that’s Sabrina’s talking cat – mentions how he collects “Sonic the Hedgehog” comic books. That takes us to the first half of “Some Enchantra Evening,” the cover story. Still pissed at Sabrina, Enchantra uses the internet to search the multi-verse for another character to send after the teenage girl. She discovers Mobius and Sonic the Hedgehog. While Sonic and Sally are arguing about their relationship in a desert, Enchantra lures Sonic away. She zaps the hedgehog to her world, takes over his mind, and flies him to Sabrina’s house. While the teen girl sleeps, Salem – who is, remember, a house cat – fights off the violent, brainwashed Mobian. The fight wrecks the house. Eventually, Sabrina and Princess Sally get involved, hoping to stop Sonic’s path of destruction.

Mike Gallagher wrote both of these stories. Gallagher wrote some decent “Sonic” stories in the past but, if this issue is any indication, his work on “Sabrina” was strictly phoned in. The short segment set on Mobius suggests that Mike hasn’t been keeping up with the changes that have affected Sonic’s world since he left the book. Sonic and Sally argue about their romance in a non-descriptive setting. They make vague references to lots of crazy shit happening in Mobius but no specifics. Nicole, meanwhile, yells cliched catchphrases. I don’t know why.

Once Sonic runs into the Spellman house, the comedic tone remains dire. Salem the Cat fights Sonic by zapping him with a magic ray and tripping him up with kitty litter. Considering Sonic has tangled with some serious threats, this suggests that Enchantra’s mind control is seriously lessening his abilities. There are jokes in the story, I think, but they are only of the lamest variety. Even as a simple comedic story, it’s full of plot holes. Why isn’t Sabrina awoken sooner by Sonic reaping destruction on her house? How the hell does Sally cross into an alternate universe?

Another weird thing about this story is the art work. Dan DeCarlo continues to draw the Sabrina characters. Sonic and friends, meanwhile, are drawn by Dave Manak. It’s clear that Manak is a student of DeCarlo, as their style is similar. Considering this, I don’t know why they didn’t have Manak just draw the whole story. Manak’s artwork is as angular and cartoony as always. He adapts awkwardly to the characters then current designs. Sonic’s green irises just make his eyes bulge. Sally’s more anime-esque physique is barely carried over.

“Some Enchantra Evening” ends on a cliffhanger, the story concluding in Sonic Super Special number 10, which we’ll cover next time. If this stunt was meant to draw Sonic fans to Sabrina’s book, I can see why it didn’t work. Issue 28 of “Sabrina” is extremely dumb, a comedy book with jokes so lame a child could’ve written them. And we don’t even have peak-hotness Melissa Joan Hart to look at! [4/10]