Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 283

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 283
Publication Date: June 2016

We are headed into the home stretch, guys. Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” comics would be rebooted in September of 2013. Though heavily foreshadowed over the next few issues, the Shattered World Crisis wouldn’t officially begin until the end of issue 256, published in January of 2014. Two years and six months later, we are finally approaching the end of that particular story arc. Issue 283 is the buffer issue in between the rest of the Shattered World Crisis and the four part arc that would conclude it once and for all. (And, of course, the comic would end shortly after that, meaning this retrospective is heading into the home stretch too.)

But before we can get around to that, this situation calls for some set-up. “The Mission” sees Sonic and Sally aboard the Sky Patrol. They broadcast a message to all the world’s Freedom Fighters teams. They have all the Gaia Keys and Chaos Emeralds. Big and Cream have secretly relocated them to the vault under Castle Acorn. Eggman is still unaware of the significance of the Gaia Temples. The plan is to have all the Freedom Fighters coordinate a massive attack on Eggman’s bases, distracting him while Chip performs the ritual necessary to restore the world. It’s a great plan... Except Tails Doll is hiding inside the Sky Patrol, broadcasting the entire thing to Eggman.

Do you know what “The Mission” is? It’s a fucking Skype conference call. Sally, Sonic, and Chip are broadcasting a prepared speech to their various associates over the world, about their next course of action as a corporation worldwide net of radical tyranny fighters. This has got to be one of the most blatant examples of Flynn taking a whole issue to set the stage for the next event storyline. There’s no action and next to no character development. It’s all pure narrative construction. That, in and of itself, isn’t really what bugs me. In fact, there’s even something to be said for making sure the proverbial table is set before you have your metaphorical dinner. It’s just so fucking blatant and that annoys me. This is essentially an entire cover story devoted to the characters saying “Get hyped! This nearly three year long plot is finally going to end soon!”

And let’s be real here. There’s a good reason Flynn had to take a whole issue to catch the readers up on everything that’s happened. The lore behind the Shattered World Crisis is so needlessly convoluted that even the writer has trouble keeping track of it. I know this is a point I’ve harped on in the past but, seriously: That’s what happens when you translate stuff directly from a video game to a comic book. In between the Chaos Emeralds, Gaia Keys, and Gaia Temples, this entire bloated arc has been overflowing with plot devices. I couldn’t remember what role each of these things had to play and I doubt I was the only one. So it’s only natural Flynn took a whole issue to touch on everything again and get the details straight. But it’s frustrating things were allowed to get to that point.

I don’t know if Flynn realized you can’t publish an inventory rundown and call it a story or if Aleah nudged him in the shoulder and told him to include some actual personality in here. Because there are a few attempts to make “The Mission” more than just the heroes detailing their plan. It actually starts with a really cute moment, of Sally suffering from some stage fright before going on-camera. Awww, ya see, royals are just like us. In Yurashia, Dulcy has to quietly agree to the plan because Cinders is asleep in her arms. While in Knothole, Cream and Gemerl have some amusingly dad/daughter like interactions. The broadcast ends with Chip thanking everyone for showing him the beauty of the world, a moment that would be touching if it wasn’t sandwiched between so much boldfaced exposition. These tiny character-driven moments are not enough to make this story actually good but at least some attempt was made to inject life into this.

“The Mission” is really only one half of this “plot” and the back story of issue 283, “Zero Hour,” is devoted to showing us the second half. In the Death Egg, Eggman has managed to hunt down Phage, who he is quite annoyed with him. Before he can unleash his full wrath on the sentient virus, Orbot interrupts. Eggman watches Tails Doll’s pirated broadcast of Sally’s announcement. He quickly mobilizes a counter strike to the Freedom Fighters’ master plan.

“Zero Hour” has a lot of the same flaws as “The Mission.” Both stories are long dialogue scenes devoted to characters detailing their plan to their underlings. Eggman even refers to it as a conference call. What makes this even more irksome is that part of “Zero Hour” is even devoted to Eggman watching Sally’s broadcast, essentially in live time. Kind of feels like Ian was just trying to fill page space there, doesn’t it?

However, I do slightly prefer “Zero Hour” over “The Mission.” Flynn wouldn’t have his characters detailing his plans if both of them weren’t destined to go awry. That creates a bit of suspense, in seeing how Eggman will counteract the Freedom Fighters’ plans. Mostly, this one is more enjoyable because of how angry Robotnik gets upon hearing he’s been played. He stews in his rage for a few panels before that genius intellect kicks in, and he starts to strategize. (Also, his chat with Phage includes a Nigerian prince joke, which made me laugh.)

The artwork is nice, by the way. Jamal Peppers, on the cover story, and Jennifer Hernandez, on the back-up, do fine work. Ultimately, there’s only so much I can say about this issue. I suppose an extended first act like this makes sense, when heading into a four-parter that concludes a three year long story. But, geez, I can’t help but assume there was a smoother way to present this information to the reader. Issues like this do little to change the “let's get this over with attitude” I’ve been approaching most of the reboot with. [5/10]