Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.03.: Lovesick Sonic

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.03.: Lovesick Sonic
Original Air Date: September 13th, 1993

As I referenced when talking about “Birth of a Salesman” the other week, “Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog” introduced a ton of minor, one-off characters to “Sonic” lore over the course of its 65 episode run. Most of these have been forgotten, banished to the land of wind and ghosts even by the obsessive-compulsive “Sonic” fandom. Yet a few characters have proven more memorable, perhaps even earning the designation of “fan favorite.”

One such stand-out cast member is Breezie the Hedgehog, from the (third produced, eighth to air) episode of “Adventures.” Though she only ever appeared in that one episode, fans remembered her. So much that Flynn's decision to bring her back for the post-reboot Archie comic was greeted with enthusiasm. This makes “Lovesick Sonic” another one of the rare “AoStH” episodes to really contribute to the wider “Sonic” universe.

So what is “Lovesick Sonic” about? While out doing hero shit, Sonic sees a lime green female-type character that is supposedly a hedgehog being held captive by Scratch and Grounder. She immediately catches his eye and the horny hog is soon doing everything for her, running around the globe to appease her whims. Tails is more suspicious... And his fears are well-founded. Breezie is an android built by Robotnik, to distract, capture, and destroy Sonic while the mad scientist steals the water from a Mobius reservoir and floods an innocent village in the process.

Once again, I'm surprised by an “Adventure of Sonic the Hedgehog” episode with an actual plot. This isn't just a loose premise upon which to hang a series of juvenile gags. This episode's story actually has a beginning, middle, and end. Some of the characters actually grow and change over the course of the episode. Sonic proves he's not just an unstoppable comic hero-prankster, as we learn the hedgehog is a sucker for a pretty face. Robotnik's genuinely pretty evil plot has some real stakes, as Sonic nearly doesn't survive. The heroes are challenged and some people even learn some things about themselves. Normally, a show wouldn't get points for following basic narrative structure like this but it's unusual for “Adventures.”

The character that changes the most is not one of the regular cast members, because “Adventures” isn't that kind of show. Instead, Breezie gets the full blown arc. She starts out as nothing but a manipulative, literally inhuman (inhedgehog?) femme fatale. Yet Sonic's devotion to her is so sweet, that she genuinely develops feelings for him. Granted, this show's emotion spectrum is still extremely childish. Sonic's love manifests as going to ridiculous lengths to get her what she wants and writing cheesy poetry. Yet, in a series as broad as this, Breezie's growth counts for something. Even before her change-of-heart, Breezie's bitchiness makes her a fairly compelling villain.

This probably isn't the real reason Breezie proved so memorable to fans though. She wears a pink dress that is slit up to her hip. She has a wasp-waist and is drawn with ample cleavage in a few scenes. She speaks exclusively in a sensual whisper, is about four feet taller than Sonic, and is introduced tied up. Even the moment where she opens up her chest and pulls out a phone feels kind of fetish-y. (None of this can disguise the fact that her character design is actually pretty awkward looking.) Do a Google Image search for her and see how long it takes you to find some fetish artwork. I'll wait. You'll be right back.

But anyway. The real moral of this episode is not that people can change or that sincerity and love – goofball, puppy dog love – can melt the coldest heart. The real moral is “bros before hoes.” See, Sonic spends the whole episode thinking with his little head, falling all over himself to serve Breezie. Tails, having not gone through puberty yet, realizes that something is up. He warns Sonic but he doesn't listen and it's only his actions in the last act that saves the hedgehog's ass. I was really hoping I could read some hilarious gay subtext into this – Sonic's male life partner helps him overcome his attraction to a female – but Breezie's redemption kind of ruins that. Still, it's fun to see Tails actually do something in an episode, since he's mostly stood back and watched Sonic be the hero in the last few installments.

The episode still has lots comedy. Scratch and Grouner are introduced swinging a fishing hook and grabbing a cactus. Robotnik almost flashes the entire audience when comically changing out of his bathrobe. Sonic saves the day with a bungie cord. He fools the robotic henchman by dressing up as an elderly photographer. Sonic's quest to please Breezie involves a bizarre fight scene with “cannibals,” tribal looking pigs who are also fond of dress-up and explode when defeated. The polar bear from “Best Hedgehog” reappears, as do some random penguins in hula skirts. There's a really out-of-nowhere fight scene with a dragon. It's all aggressively wacky but, for once, I can actually jive with this. A goofy fight scene where Sonic round-house kicks an alligator into the air is actually kind of cool? This is the sort of wacky slapstick I can get into it.

It's a solid episode, maybe one of the best of the entire series. Yet even Breezie's gratuitous sexiness is overshadowed by a certain factor. Yes, this is the “Adventures” episode that gifted us with the “Sonic Sez” segment on sexual harassment. It would seem the show's writers realized they were touching on a more serious topic than usual. There's no jokes in this edutainent segment, just Sonic speaking directly to the audience... But, really, there was nothing they could have done to make this anything but hilariously awkward. Why is Sonic the Hedgehog educating our children about inappropriate touching? Why is he using his catchphrases and slang terms during this otherwise serious moment? It is so deeply miscalculated that the results, no matter how sincere, can't help but be totally hilarious... Or at least they would be, if people hadn't been dunking on this particular moment nonstop for the last sixteen years.

I could probably write an entire blog entry about “That's No Good!' and, honestly, probably will someday. For now, I'll cut it off there. “Lovesick Sonic” is definitely among the most tolerable “Adventures” I've reviewed thus far. I'll even go so far as to say I genuinely like this episode! I'm sure I'll be back to bitching and moaning next week though. [7/10]